Many Of Horror
by lauraxxx
Summary: Previously named: A Death Sentence Fic Billy Darley changes people; this is the story of my life with Billy. Set before movie.
1. Prologue

**From chapter three this story has been beta'd :)**

**A/N This is my first DS fic so let me now if you like it. It is going to be set in Chicago like the book is (even though the book is a complete different story to the film. Tbh the film is better lol.) Ive got the sotry in my head planned out but the begginning is abit slow, so just hang on.! R&R Please.**

**Prologue and chapter one up!**

I know now, leaving was always the inevitable, I had just been delaying it for some time. I thought it would be easy, I was wrong. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do and although I knew it was for the best, it took all my will to keep me from turning around and going back to the shitty ass cheap apartment that I lived in , get back into bed and hope he hadn't noticed that I'd gone.

When I moved into the apartment which was situated in what I guess you could call 'the wrong side of town', I never intended to stay there for the long haul. I was a twenty year old student majoring in

English Literature in college, who had seriously argued with her controlling mother and step-father who had forced her to stay in Chicago for college. I had been in the area relentlessly searching for work and a cheap apartment when I got a job as a barmaid in a bar called the Four Roses.

That's where I recognised a guy I only knew as 'Trigger' from all those years ago before my mother married the rich asshole, when we lived in a shitty part of town. I hadn't been close to him when we lived nearby, I hadn't been close to anyone around here. I spent most of time with my father in Washington and when I was here , I was on the phone to my father. But I got to know Trigger relatively well when I was sixteen, my father had died in a car crash and I was sent back to live permanently with my mother and her new husband. I guess you could say I didn't take my father's death well, I turned to drugs. A release from the pain that churned inside me.

I had been back with my mother and her husband George for almost three weeks. My dad had died a little over a month ago and I was having a hard time accepting it. I hadn't cried about it, not even at his funeral, I had just stood there in a daze, staring down at the brown coffin that held my father's decaying body. I just stared, in a trance, fixated on the six foot hole where my beloved father was being lowered into, listening to the priest talk about how he was ' a devoted father, to daughter's Anna and Patricia'. Then after being back in Chicago for three and a half week's the first tear fell. Then more came and more again. They kept coming until I was hysterically crying with my head in my hands curled up on my bed. I stayed like that for over a week.

I dealt with the pain of losing the one parent that cared for me, loved me, like other's do I suppose. I stayed in my room for over a week , not sleeping, not eating and only drinking when my mother and sister forced it upon me. I just sat there, crying. But two month's after my dad's death I was forced back into a routine. I was forced to go to a private school which I hated. My older sister Anna tried her best to make my weekend's fun, and I guess now looking back at them they were. But I still felt like I was dying inside. So when I heard about a party in a not so good neighbourhood, I went with the intension of getting wasted. That was the night I did my first drug, my first ecstasy tablet.

I loved it, I loved the happy feeling it gave me, I loved that I forgot who I was and what had happened.

My weekend's were no longer spent with my sister but with my new 'friends' whom I would go to party's with, get wasted and high with. I soon tried other thing's as well as pills. It started off with having a few joint's before taking a couple of pills. Then I started smoking weed in the week also. _Just to take the edge off _I told myself.

I re-met Trigger at a party one night, it seemed he and I were the only one's there who didn't crave the drug's. We didn't need them, we used them as we choose. I got to know him pretty well, we didn't hang out, but he would be at the party's I was and he'd be the only one there other than myself who didn't want to get off their face's right away. So I'd talk with him for awhile, then we'd take a few pill's each and revel in each other's company while we got the hit. We did this at every party we were both at for two months. That blossoming friendship ceased when I was caught with pill's in school and was instantly expelled, and forced to rehab by my mother and step-father.

I beat rehab instantly, as I said I wasn't addicted to anything except my cigarette's. I went to a public school which George was disgusted by and I never went back to any of those party's after rehab. I realised my father wouldn't want me turning to pill's for a release. So I stopped.

I was working in the four roses when Trigger had arrived and I instantly recognised him. At first he didn't know who I was but after a few second's he remembered and we sat down and had a long chat. It seemed he didn't do pill's anymore either, he was more in the business of supplying them. He didn't call himself a drug dealer, he called himself a delivery boy. What was the difference? I didn't know back then. After hearing about me looking for an apartment, he offered me a place at his, he had a spare bedroom in his new apartment and was looking for a roommate. It was five block's from the bar and a thirty minute bus ride from college, so it was perfect. After seeing the place it was just what I was looking for until I graduated, it was small with the living room and kitchen combined with just a small breakfast bar separating them., a small bathroom and two bedroom's. The place wasn't completely furnished the living room only had a small couch and a T.V in it and the kitchen had no appliances just a dirty old fridge and a grease covered oven that only worked when it felt like it. But it was cheap and it soon became my home.

The next day I moved in, just taking some stuff from my bedroom at my parent's house. After all the last thing I had told them was that I wanted nothing from them. Which was true, I had always wanted to pay my own way through college but they hadn't allowed me to until I had finally argued with them so badly that I left. They sneered at me telling me I'd be back when I needed money, that only made me more determined to create a life which they had no part in.

As I said I just wanted to turn around and go home, back into the arm's of the man I loved. But I knew I couldn't. I unconsciously crept down the apartment building's step's, I don't know why, its not like he was going to hear me. The cab was waiting for me outside and I quickly rushed over to it and got in before I could change my mind and turn around.

"The airport please." I asked as I put the duffle bag full of clothes next to me.

I closed my eye's and thought about how my life had changed in the past two and a half years. How much I hated but loved the life I lead. How much the people around me had shaped my life in the last two and a half years. But never not once did my thought's leave Billy.

**A/N From this chapter onward's it's just showing what happend before and leading up to what is happening in the prologue.**


	2. Welcome back

I don't own death sentance

**A/N From this chapter onward's it's just showing what happend before and leading up to what is happening in the prologue. R&r PLEASE.**

The thought of working a six hour shift when I was this tired was killing me. I hadn't had a night off in over a week and I was beginning to feel the strain of working each night, college, college coursework and tidying up the apartment. I had come to realise a long time ago if I didn't't clean there was no way Trigger would. He said himself he wouldn't't care if he lived in a pig sty. I weren't't so eager to join him there.

I stared at my refection in the small bathroom mirror and tried my best to cover the dark circles that were forming under my eyes. I let down my sandy blonde hair from the loose bun that it was tied into and tried my best to make myself look presentable.

My uniform for the night wasn't exactly what I liked to wear but we were forced to wear them every Saturday night. Although tonight was a Thursday my boss Sammy had asked me to wear it. Unfortunately.

It was a tight red top that only came to above my navel. I didn't't mind this but I weren't't to comfortable with upper half of the top. The top's had been designed so that they pushed the girl's breasts up to the point where they look like they are about to fall out at any minute. I had complained about this but just got the reply 'Its uniform get used to it'. _Get used to it Trish its uniform._

Walking the five block's to the bar was also very uncomfortable. I would get whistled at by addict's scouring the street's for a fix. Once a car had pulled up and asked me how much I charged a night. That's the type of area I lived in.

The bar was basically empty as I entered it There were only a few old men sitting at the bar. It was dead here. It was always empty on Thursday's. Most of the customer's didn't get the unemployment money until Friday's. I walked behind the bar and quickly put my shoulder book bag down. I usually did some college work here on Thursdays because the place was so quiet.

I instantly grabbed a damp cloth and started wiping down the beer soaked brown oak bar. "Sammy, you should seriously wipe this bar more. Its disgusting how sticky it is."

Sammy just smiled and shook his head.

"Trish you are such a clean freak." He said while handing some old drunk at the bar a bottle of beer. When he said this I instantly threw the cloth at him.

"Excuse me. I am not. It's just basic cleanliness, and with some of the people that come in here. You should be blasting this bar down with bleach every night, not just wiping it with a beer soaked cloth." While I said this, I served a man sitting at the bar. I didn't care if he heard what I said about the bar. But knowing the people who came here, they probably wouldn't't care anyway.

"That's three dollar's please." I said holding my hand out to the man so I could accept the money before giving him his cold drink." Why am I in tonight anyway? You don't normally need two in on Thursdays. Its not busy enough. And why am I being made to wear this ridiculous top? You said we only had to wear them on Saturdays. " I asked Sammy as I gnawed at my gum.

He wiped his forehead with the dirty, sticky cloth that had just been used to wipe the bar down and then he sighed. It seemed he didn't really want me to ask why I was in.

"I got to go and pick the wife up from the airport in a couple of hours." He said not answering all my questions.. As the bar was quiet he went around to the stool's and sat leaving me to tend to the regular alcoholics that sat there.

"Oh yeah. She's finally coming back from visiting family then. How longs it been? Two weeks?" I said leaning on the bar.

"The best two week's of my married life." Sammy said smirking.

"Im going to tell her you said that." I joked. " What time is her flight coming in?"

"Twelve thirty." He answered. I raised my eyebrows at him.

"Yeah but this place closes at twelve on Thursdays." I said more to myself than anyone else.

Sammy took a deep breath and rubbed his head. He obviously wanted to say something but couldn't think of the best way.

Moving his thick black hair behind his ear's he looked up and began to speak to me.

"You umm, you know Bodie and Heco, all them lot come in here?" I nodded at him. How could I not know them. They were always here. "You know there in a gang right? Selling drug's. And stuff. Darley's gang you know?." I didn't know what Darley was then. Whether it was just a name for the gang or a actual person. To tell you the truth I didn't care.

"Of course I know. My roommates an aspiring member. Oh it's pathetic though to join a gang. I've told him its stupid." Sammy interrupted me by putting his finger in the air to shush me so I could'nt continue my rant. "You would make a lot more money if they weren't always lurking about." I added at the end. He knew what I thought about them all being there. If the bar wasn't their primal bar to go to, everyone could come there. Not just the people on their good side.

Sammy knew my thought's about it all really well. He knew I didn't approve of Trigger's 'delivering' as he called it then. But I couldn't say anything about it to him. I mean a couple of year's ago I would of be thrilled to know he could 'deliver'.

"Lurking is it?" Sammy asked whilst smirking at my word of choice.

"Yes lurking. There always about, in the shadow's. Watching." I said in a voice that people would normally use to tell ghost story's in. Sammy just laughed at this.

"How do I put this. There uh kind of leader I guess you could call him, a guy called Billy Darley is being released from jail today. There all coming here to celebrate. All night." He was obviously waiting for my outburst.

My mouth was ajar and my eyes wide.

"What?! So I got to stay here on my own with them, I cant stay all night, I have classes tomorrow! That's why ive got to wear this smutty top." I said , my voice slightly cracking. _Im too tired to stay all night._

"The guy's been in jail six months, doesn't't hurt for him to have something nice to look at." My mouth opened wider in disbelief.. "It's not all night just a few hours, give me and the wife some time to uh, reconnect." I grimaced at the way he said this.. "So only until about three am," He said whilst smiling.

"Ugh , why me? Why not Marie, she can sleep all day tomorrow. Or Becky she'd relish being in the company of them." My voice was whiney, kind of like a six year old child who wasn't getting their own way.

"Because I trust you the most. You've only worked her for two months and your my best employee. If I leave Marie here alone she'll get so drunk she'll pass out. And if Beck's here she'll probably end up sleeping with one of them .On my pool table or something." I smiled at this. I knew if Becky's bare ass touched Sammy's pool table it would break his heart. He loved it.

"Okay, but only because I care about Dianne's sex life." I said smirking, referring to Sammy's wife. "So what do I have to do?"

"Just if they ask for a drink give it to them, on the house of course . We want Billy to feel welcomed back here at the four roses. As he is a preferred customer." I couldn't help but burst out laughing.

"More like you want his protection." I said still laughing. "Im taking my ciggie brake."

Darley's gang had been in the bar for over two hours, they were sitting in their primary spot in the bar. The table by the pool table, and although they all seemed to be celebrating there was no sign of Billy. Not that I had seen him before, I just recognised them all at the table. Well all but one, but Sammy had said that wasn't him.

All night Sammy had me walking back and forth to the table asking if they needed anything. He had warned me before hand that I must be charismatic and polite towards them, and even hinted if I said something out of place, by this he means my opinions about gangs, I may lose my job. And I was in no position to lose my job. Sammy left at about eleven pm to get the house ready which meant clean up his mess, which left me to deal with the drunken and rowdy gang.

At around eleven thirty a guy with brown spiky hair and a grubby red leather jacket walked in with Trigger. I recognised him as one of Trigger's best friend's Joe. Trigger slowed up and walked over to the bar obviously waiting to talk to me but I was to busy serving an old man sitting at the bar, to busy serving and watching who was entering.

A couple of minutes after Joe and Trigger had walked in a tall man, with a shaved head and an unshaven chin walked in, in a pair of rough looking black jeans, a black top and a dark trench coat. He had a cigarette perched between his lips. His demeanor was terrifying.

He instantly walked over to the table , exchanging 'manly' hugs and there versions of handshakes with his friends before sitting down and pressing a bottle of beer to his lips. _He must be Billy._

"Hey." I whispered to Trigger taking a quick glance at the newcomer arriving at the gang's table . "I got to stay here un till about three am just so you and your pals can have a lock in." I smiled at him. He was the closest thing that I had to a friend around here. All of my other 'friend's that lived in Chicago were not real friends they were just people I associated with to please my parent's. They were mostly children of George's business partner's, they were never real friends. And as soon as I moved into my new apartment in bad side of the city they ceased contact with me. Not that it bothered me, as I said they were never real friends.

Before I had moved in with Trigger I had only two true friend's Alex and Michelle and they had both moved to New York for college. I missed them both terribly but hanging out with Trigger in out apartment helped a lot. I hadn't had that for two years. Since they moved away.

"Im not staying. I got to go now." Trigger said casually. My eyes bulged. I didn't't want him to go, it was almost closing which meant that if Trigger left I would be left alone with them. Which I did not want. Earlier in the night Sammy had warned me that Billy had a vicious streak and for me not to aggravate him. Like I was going to aggravate one of them anyway, I clearly knew that they carried gun's and from what I had heard they weren't't afraid to use them.

"Why?!" I exclaimed.

"I've got work to do." _Oh go and run a corner. Leave me here with these psycho__'__s. __"_Don't worry. Joe's here." He said feeling my angst. "I got to go. Smile it'll be fine." He said as he gave my hand a squeeze. He then walked over to the table said something to the shaven-head man who I presumed to be Billy and left.

Whilst carrying a large bottle of Jack Daniel's I anxiously walked over to the table which they were sitting around. The closer I got the more nervous I got also. I was apprehensive about the skimpy top that I was wearing. I had worn it many times before but never in front of a gang leader who probably doesn't abide by normal social rule's when it comes to looking at women.

As I got to the table Joe light himself a cigarette and flashed me a smile. It was his way of saying hello.

"Billy this is Trish. Trish this is Billy my brother." I was slightly taken back when I found out that Joe's brother was the leader. He'd never mentioned it and I could of sworn Joe's second name was Dale.

The people sitting at the table stayed quiet as Billy analyzed me with his fierce eyes. I could feel them burning into me. I gave him a nervous smile which he did not return. _Oh great smile at the vicious psycho. Great Idea._

"Nice to meet you." I said trying to avoid contact with Billy's stare. He kept staring silently watching me as I stood there awkwardly. He just sat there puffing away on his cigarette. "Uh Sammy's giving this to you. A getting out of jail present." _You idiot. _I instantly wished I hadn't said it so I quickly placed it on the table and scurried away.

Although it was five past twelve I didn't tell the regular alcoholics by the bar to leave. I didn't want to be alone with the gang. Not that the regular alcoholic's would have been much use to me if they had kicked off there. I stood behind the bar looking everywhere but over at the table. But to my dismay one of the gang member's told me they as in the alcoholics had to leave at twelve. So they left. Leaving me alone with Darley and his gang.

After the regurlar alcoholic's had left I started to clean up the bar. I wiped down the bar, all the tables. I mopped the floor and collected all the empty glasses on the tables that the gang weren't on. I was called a few times to bring them shot's and beer's over and I did so without saying a word to them or them to me.

An hour had passed and I had finished cleaning and now there was nothing to do but sit and wait for Sammy.

"One twenty one. Just one hour and thirty nine minutes left." I said to myself as I sat myself down on the furthest stool at the bar away from them. Just as I lit my cigarette one of them called me over which pissed me off as I had just sat down.

"Yes." I said in the most happy voice I could muster as I walked to their table.

"Why don't you clean some of this shit up." A junkie called Heco told me, referring to the table that was full of empty shot glasses and beer bottles.

"Sure." I had to dig my nail's into the palm of my hand to keep me from saying anything else.

I quickly started cleaning there table up but on my way back to pick up more empty bottles I notice Billy's eyes were fixed on me again. But this time he was looking me up and down. _Why is he looking at me like that. Is he disgusted or…_

His gaze was broken when a black guy called Bodie said something to Billy.

"So did you have a nice time with that lovely whore we got for you. Did she satisfy six months of manly need's." He said slightly laughing. Billy just smirked slightly and nodded. "You should thank Joe here, he paid her." I couldn't help but scrunch my face up in disgust. Luckily nobody noticed. I walked away and back to the bar. I felt sick at the thought of people paying for sex. Didn't the women have respect for themselves?

After contemplating it for awhile I got my English paper out and started to work on it. Only to be disturbed by Joe slurring my name.

"Trish." He was clearly drunk. I got up and started to walk towards their table but stopped and turned around when Joe spoke again. "Open the door for these fucker's their leaving." It was obvious that Joe was only calling them 'fuckers' in playful banter but I was nervous encase one of them took it the wrong way and started a riot or something.What was I supposed to think? I didnt know what they were capable of.

I walked over to the door , unlocked it and poked my head out to feel the cold October wind blow in my face. They were taking their time so I turned around to see where they were. But to my horror the one's that were leaving were congregated by my college work.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I said my temper flaring up, They were looking at my work, which I never allowed anyone to do.

I barged past them and grabbed my paper and books and launched them into my bag. I heard one of them who I knew to be called 'dog' say 'touché'. Deep down I was hitting myself for talking to them like that but they seemed to not care. I think they were to drunk to care. Luckily. After locking the door behind them I sat at the bar and rubbed my head. All I wanted to do was go home to bed. Then Joe called for me. Again.

With a groan I got up and started to walk over to the table that only occupied Bodie, Joe and Billy.

"Sit." Joe commanded as I got to the table. I anxiously took a seat. "Nice top." Joe slurred. He said it every time he was drunk and I was wearing it. "You know it look's like your tit's are about to fall…"

"Yes Joe. I know, you've told me many times." I said trying for it to sound light-hearted. Joe just smirked and placed his head down on the table. _How much has he drunk?_

"Is there anything I can get you guy's?" the angst in my voice was clear. Billy was staring again but this time I gave into his intense stare and took in all of his features his shaven head , his angry blue eyes, his unshaven chin, the small scar on the side of his face and the tribal tattoo's that came up on his neck. _I wonder what the tattoo__'__s are like under his shirt._

It was obvious that Billy was taking in all of my features also.

"What were the guy's looking at over there?" Bodie asked referring to when they were looking at my college work. He broke mine and Billy's intense stare by saying this. Although I found Billy attractive, I could tell he had a darker side. You could just tell by his face that you wouldn't want to mess with him. This made my fear of him grow. I had only been in his presence for the last couple of hour's and he have off a terrifying demeanour.

"Uhh um I was doing some college work." I saw Billy's eyebrows raise but he looked disgusted. Bodie just nodded he knew I was in college as we had discussed it before.

"Surprising right?" Bodie said smiling to Billy. I was really starting to feel uncomfortable now.

"Well I've never fucked a college student. Yet." Billy finally spoke. But right now I wished he hadn't. A slimy smirk spread across his face. His voice was deep and aggresive.

"If you need anymore drink's just let me know." I said as I got up and scurried over to the bar. Yes Billy was gorgeous but that comment made my stomach turn. _What a cocky arrogant conceited uch. _I could hear them laughing so I decided to step out back to have a cigarette in peace.

Forty minuets later I heard Sammy arrive so I stormed out and found him talking with the guy's. When he saw me he sighed. He could tell I was pissed.

"If you think I am working tomorrow you can fuck right off. No way! I will mud wrestle my grandma before I come to work tomorrow." I said, saying the first thing that came to my head. I was angry. No I was furious. It was three thirty-five and I know had to walk home have a couple of hour's sleep before getting up again. I was not in a good mood. "You're an ass." I stated to Sammy then stormed out of the bar.


	3. AloneAloneAlone

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Death Sentance, althoug I would like to own Billy Darley, but who wouldnt?**

**A/n Thanks to all who reviewed. This chapter is more of a filler chapter.**

**Trish is ringtone is a Nirvana song called 'Molly lips'**

**This chap isn't as good as I would of liked it to of been, but I cant seem to get it right and if I dont post it now I never will. Lol**

**And id like to thanks my amazing beta ****Wisery. ****Who is absolutely fantastic.**

I was plopped down on my bedroom floor, leaning against the mattress that was positioned against the wall. I didn't have a base for the bed. I didn't mind though; I quite liked it. Looking through a small box of photographs, I smiled to myself. There were many pictures of me and my dad and even more of Michelle, Alex, and me. Earlier in the day I had bought three frames, and I planned to put my three favourite pictures on top of my dresser. I picked up one of me, my dad and my sister, Anna. I was twelve at the time, and my sister was thirteen. The three of us were sitting round a camp fire, roasting marshmallows in it. _Happy Memories._

The next one I picked was of Michelle, Anna, and me. That photo was taken on my seventeenth birthday. In it, I'm smiling broadly with my hair tied up, Anna is pouting with her dark hair falling loose on her face, and Michelle has her tongue poked out and has bright blue hair in the picture.

The last one was of Alex and me. It was taken when we went to Florida when we were eighteen. We're both in our swimsuits (me in a white bikini, he in black surf shorts), and we're standing on a beach. His arms are wrapped tightly around my waist, and he is nuzzling on the curve of my neck. You can barely see his face in it - just his messy-styled black hair and his toned arms. _I love this picture._

Placing them on top of the dresser, I felt a wave of sadness wash over me. I missed them so much, and they were all so far away. Even my sister had moved California with her fiancé recently, and Michelle and Alex were in New York having the time of their lives.

Michelle was in art school and had been dating some French artist called Pier for the last four months and was blissfully happy. Alex loved his life even more than Michelle. He was in med school there and loved New York so much that he had told me many times he would never come back to Chicago to live. The only thing they said that could make their lives better was if I was there with them. I, on the other hand, had many things that could make my life better. Being in New York with them both being one of them.

They were probably getting ready to go out for the night with friends. After all, it was a Friday. But whilst they were doing that, I was sat in my small bedroom, staring at the dingy white paint that was peeling off the walls with no prospects of doing anything fun that night other than getting drunk alone. 

Alone. Alone. Alone.

I glanced outside the small window that was situated next to my dresser and saw a hooker standing on a corner bending down for passing cars. I scrunched my nose up in revulsion and quickly closed my long black drapes that I made myself. Woo go me.

I stood up and walked towards my bedroom door that had a mind of its own. Sometimes, (always when I was in a rush) it would jam, and I'd have to wait for Trigger to come and kick it open. But now that I had nothing to do, it opened fine. _Fucker._

The living room was a lot tidier and more homely since I'd moved in. The old beige carpet was frequently vacuumed and the coffee table and television and other small bits of furniture were polished regularly . The kitchen had more utensils now also. When I moved in I bought a toaster, a kettle and lots of cutlery and tableware out of my savings, and I tried my best to keep the oven a grease free object as much as I could. I tried to keep the whole apartment clean, like my father always said : A neat house, a neat life. A messy house, a messy life.

I strolled through the living room/ kitchen and made my way over to the refrigerator where I would find lots of vodka to drown my sorrows in. As I was about to lean down and open the refrigerator door my phone rang, and I dashed back into my bedroom to answer it.

_She said she__'__d take me anywhere_

_She__'__d take me anywhere_

_As long as she stayed clean._

"Hey, Sammy," I said after seeing 'work' pop up on my screen. _Uch, I__'__ve got to change my ringtone._

"Trish could you work tonight?" 

"I told you yesterday. No." I was trying to sound annoyed, but I wasn't annoyed that he called. I was actually glad to have someone to speak to.

"Please? I'm sorry about that. Lost track of time. It won't happen again," Sammy pleaded.

"Oh, you know, I do have a life. I had plans tonight," I lied.

"Had plans? Does that mean you're coming in?"

"I'll be in by six." I hung up the phone, threw it on my bed and made my way over to my small wardrobe where my clothes hung neatly I settled on a loose pair of jeans and a plain red vest. _There go__e__s my night of lonesome drinking._

I poured myself a shot of vodka and looked around the not so busy bar and groaned. I had been in work for an hour and I was very bored. _Its better than being home alone. _After looking at the shot I downed it in one. _Perfect start to a Friday night._

As I slammed the shot glass down onto the oak bar, I heard a girly giggle come from behind me. It definitely wasn't Sammy. I turned around to find Rachel standing there on her cell phone.

Rachel had worked in the Four Roses for a couple of years now, so she basically got to pick and choose when she worked. Her brother, 'Baggy,' was in Darley's gang, and I assumed she was too as she held the signature Darley gang tribal tattoo on her back. It was small, but you knew with her having that tattoo and being Baggy's little sister, she wasn't going to be hanging out with any other gang.

"Hey Rach, what are you doing here?" I asked when she hung up her phone. 

"Working. Sammy asked me to come in short notice," she said, scrunching her nose up. She was a pretty girl with flowing dark blonde hair down her back. She was taller than me, but that might be because she always had high heels on. I was always more of a converse girl. Unless I was going out clubbing of course.

"So where is Sammy?" I asked whilst serving a man at the bar. 

"Gone home. Just me and you tonight, babe." She was smiling sweetly to herself as she pulled a stand of hair off her denim skirt. I always liked her best out of the other girls who worked there. "Spending time with Dianne apparently," she said as she loaded up a tray full of beers and headed over to Darley's gang table. I hadn't noticed Billy, Bodie, Heco and Tommy sitting there. I assume they came in the same time as Rachel. I looked over to the table where Rachel was standing and having a chat with them. None of them looked happy. 

She walked back over to the bar and made a face that suggested that things weren't't looking good over where Billy was sitting. She hopped up on the brown oak bar and waited for me to walk over to speak to her. 

"They can be such assholes sometimes," she said, shaking her head. They had obviously done or said something to piss her off, but I didn't't want to start asking questions.

"Sometimes?" I laughed. 

She laughed before speaking again. "Is Tommy looking over?"

"Tommy? The one with the tribal tattoo on the side of his head, right?" She nodded yes. I raised my eyebrows to her and quickly glanced over at them. I shook my head, gesturing that he wasn't. She took a deep sigh then jumped off the bar and walked around to an elderly couple who had just sat down. They were obviously lost, and they definitely weren't from around here. I stood still, leaning on the bar and staring down to where Rachel was talking with them in the dark corner where they were sitting. By the time she walked back up to the bar, the old couple was leaving.

"They asked if we do food," she said, shaking her head. She did that a lot. "Is he looking now?" I glanced around, and to my surprise, he _was_ looking. Not flat out staring, but he was taking quick glances at her. 

"Yeah. What's with this 'is Tommy looking' thing you keep asking me?" I asked bluntly.

"You can't say anything because my brother will freak. Well, Tommy thinks he will." I nodded, showing my agreement to not say anything. "Me and Tommy are seeing each other. But he is totally against telling Baggy." I could tell that she really liked Tommy by the way she sounded when she said they were together. 

"You and Tommy - That's great," I said, genuinely happy for her. I didn't't know her well, but I knew from the way she had talked about Tommy in the past she'd had a thing for him for a long time.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

An hour later the bar still wasn't busy, which was surprising as it was a Friday night. Heco and Bodie had left just over half an hour ago. Tommy and Billy sat at their table deep in conversation until Tommy went to the toilet, only to be quickly followed by Rachel. 

I walked over to where Billy was sitting and started wiping the table down and picking up empty beer bottles. Looking at the almost empty beer bottle in front of him, I nervously spoke up.

"Are you done?" I asked, referring to his almost empty bottle. I tried to avoid his eyes with all my strength. But I could feel them on me. When he didn't't reply I took it as a no and started to walk away, but then he said something I didn't't quite catch.

"Sorry, what was that?" I asked politely.

"I said 'I'm done.'" I smiled, walked back to the table, picked up the bottle and started to walk away. "You live with Trigger right?"

"Uh, yeah. Why?" I said as I walked back towards the table, subconsciously fixing my red vest. 

"No reason," he said gravely. I must admit fear flowed right through my veins when he used that tone of voice. "Where the fuck is he?" he asked himself as he got up. He walked off towards the corridor that led to the toilets and the public phone. I didn't't think anything of it until I realized Rachel and Tommy were probably down there, and if they didn't't want Baggy to know, then I doubt that they wanted anyone else in the gang to know. 

I quickly rushed over, so I was walking beside Billy. I thought he would stop to see what I wanted, but he didn't't. He kept on strutting towards the dark corridor, and I knew if I was going to stop him I'd have to speak up.

"Uh, can you, um, tell me someone I can buy some dope off?" I said, stuttering. He stopped in his step and looked at me stupidly. It was a stupid question considering he was a drug dealer, but I'd only ever heard Trigger mention "delivering" heroin and pills, so if they were into selling hard shit like that they weren't't exactly going to sell skunk.

"No." He started to walk ahead again, but this time was stopped by me stepping in front of him. He was a lot bigger than me as I stand at 5'5, and he was at least six foot. His eyes gleamed in annoyance, and I thought he was going to push me out of the way. But he didn't. He just stood there, staring down at me and waiting for me to speak. When I didn't, he grunted as if to say 'what do you want?' and I could see he was growing impatient.

"What about pills?" My voice was shaky, and a small smirk appeared on his face. He could feel my anguish at having to do what I was doing. 

Before he could answer my question two regulars at the bar started arguing and pushing each other. At first I didn't move, but I could see that if I didn't stop it now, it would escalate into something a lot worse than yelling and pushing.

"Hey guys! Come on. Stop," I yelled as I rushed over to the two men. I wanted to stay and make sure that Billy didn't see Tommy and Rachel, but I had to stop the two men. 

I pushed my way in between them and tried to get them to get out of each other's faces. It didn't work. I was just slowly getting squeezed between them as they got closer and closer to each other, bad mouthing one another. 

"Calm down," I said, trying to get them to hear me. 

The tallest one, who had ginger hair and a big ginger beard, suddenly pushed me from between them, causing me to fall to the ground. I saw him punch the shorter man with blonde hair right in the nose. It didn't look like an extremely hard punch, but the blonde fell to the floor. As I was getting up, I saw Billy go over and say something to the ginger guy. Billy looked relatively calm as he spoke to the man, but his expression changed to pure anger when the ginger man made the mistake of saying something back to him and pushing him. Billy quickly went up to him and head butted him, causing his nose to gush with blood. The ginger man stumbled and fell over, holding his nose. The next thing I knew, Billy was standing over him and kicking him in the face with his big boot. I instantly rushed over and tried to stop Billy by grabbing his arm, but he just pushed me back and held me at arm's length, so I couldn't get near them. Although he was only keeping me back with one arm, I couldn't push past it. Maybe it was because my whole body strength was no match for Billy's left arm's strength, or maybe deep down I didn't want to get in between the ginger guy and Billy's boot. Not many people would.

The few other people in bar just sat there watching. Nobody even thought of getting up to stop him. They obviously knew who he was and what he was capable of. After realizing Billy wasn't going to stop soon and realizing I couldn't stop it, I rushed towards to the toilets to find Tommy.

When I got to the corridor I found him and Rachel standing there, embracing.

"Billy, he's gone crazy," I blurted out. Now I know that Billy going crazy isn't kicking someone in the head a few times. It's a lot worse.

Instantly, Tommy let go of Rachel and hurried out to stop him, closely followed by Rachel and me.

A few people, including the blonde guy, had left while I was gone, and a few had moved out of the way, clearly not wanting to be in line with Billy's temper.

Tommy got Billy to stop kicking and punching the guy eventually, but Billy's temper was still raging. As he backed away from the guy, he turned to the bar, which had about four empty bottles on it, and swung his hands at them, causing them to go crashing into the wall. _Fuck._

As Billy and Jamie left, I rushed over to the man who was unconscious and started to quickly dab the wounds on his face with a wet cloth that Rachel had handed me. He eventually came around and left, slightly disoriented and his face not looking as good as it had when he arrived. He clearly had a broken nose, two black eyes forming, and a really bad split lip. 

I brushed up all the glass that was scattered across the floor and then mopped the puddle of blood up. Whilst I was doing this, Rachel was nowhere in sight. I assumed she had gone to call Sammy to let him know what had occurred.

Rachel reappeared about five minutes later, looking flustered.

"God, I got to learn how to wipe those tapes properly. It takes me forever."

"What?" I asked her, genuinely confused at what she was on about.

Rachel then explained to me that she, Sammy and everyone else who worked there, except me of course, wipe the surveillance tapes when Darley or his gang do something illegal there in case the police come around.

"I've never had to do it before though." I said truthfully. The gang had never done anything that illegal in the bar before. "They've never really done anything that illegal here before. Not since i've been working here anyway."

"That's because Billy's been inside." 

Two hours had passed, and the bar was getting busier. But it was still quiet for a Friday night. Rachel and I were standing behind the bar making a bet on which drunk we thought would pass out first.

"It's got to be Ernie," I whispered. Ernie came in most nights and drank himself into an oblivion. Many times, he woke in the early hours of the morning outside because he wouldn't wake up when the bar was closing, so Sammy would just dump him there. He was a sweet man though. He had a mop of grey hair, and he sometimes forgot to wear his teeth. He was one of my favourite drunks.

"No, no." Rachel said, shaking her head and examining who was in tonight. "Kevin," she stated. I didn't know who he was, and she could tell by the confused look on my face. "Him - there." She pointed with her eyes. "He doesn't always come in. But when he does, he basically uses the place as a place to nap."

"Whatever. That ten bucks is mine," I laughed. 

"So what's Billy's story?" I asked a few minutes later. I tried to sound casual as I said it. I leaned on the bar and watched her eye me suspiciously as she served a customer. 

"Why do you want to know?" She furrowed her eyebrows.

"Curious I guess." She raised her eyebrows at me. "Okay, why is he so scary?" I asked, sounding like a small child. She laughed at this.

"Billy - scary? He's a teddy bear," she said sarcastically. "He's always been like that. Well, ever since I've known him anyway." 

"How long has Baggy been in the gang anyway?" 

"Baggy has been friends with Billy since they were about fifteen, so since the gang started, I guess. And I have since I was eighteen, so that's three years…" I made a surprised face, as if to say 'I didn't know you were in the gang.'"Oh please. You knew. But I wouldn't say I'm in the gang exactly," She pursed her lips together. "I'm more the gang's property," she said glumly.

"What's that mean?" I asked, thinking the worst. At that moment when she used the word 'property,' I thought she meant they all used her for sex or something. 

"It means I'm in the gang, but I don't get to know anything that's going on. It means that I can only date and associate with people they approve of really." It sounded as if she resented it. "But there are a lot of good things about it as well." I just nodded.

As that conversation ended, Joe and an aggravated Billy walked in. Billy had a cigarette held in his right hand, which he raised to his mouth every few seconds. _Surely he has better things to do with his time than spend his night coming back and fourth here._

"Where's my brother?" Rachel said as they walked past the bar towards their usual table.

"Working." Billy said gruffly, not even looking at her.

They got to the table and sat down, not one of them making any movement towards the bar to order drinks. They obviously wanted one of us to go over there.

"Will you go take their order? I can't deal with them today. They're all in such fuckin' bad moods." Rachel said moodily. I bit my lip anxiously.

"Oh, can't you go? Please?" I begged.

"You're really scared of them, aren't you?" she said, sounding concerned.

"Oh, not 'them.' Just him," my cracking voice said, referring to Billy. She looked at me sympathetically and smiled.

"Hey, Billy," she yelled. He turned his head to face her. "Trish is going to come take your order. Be nice - you scare her." My jaw dropped to the floor. I couldn't believe she had just done that. I watched her walk off, chuckling to herself. Then I grabbed my cigarettes and shoved them in my jeans pocket, intending to go out back and have one as soon as I took their orders.

I reluctantly walked towards their table, taking a deep breath with each step. When I got to their table I asked them if they wanted anything as I stared down at my red converse shoes.

Joe leaned over the table and looked down at my feet then leaned back.

"What's so interesting down there?" he asked. I could tell that he was grinning now. With a deep breath, I raised my head high and tried to look relaxed.

"Nothing. Now, what do you want?" I said looking at Joe, who I knew to only be nineteen.

"I'll have a beer. You want?" Joe said, looking at Billy. He just nodded at him. "Two beers, and get yourself a drink and come sit with us," he directed me.

"Oh that's not necessary; I'm fine," I protested. Billy wasn't sporting his trench coat today, neither was Joe wearing his leather jacket. Billy was wearing a short sleeved black shirt with a longer sleeved shirt under it and his silver necklace with a silver cross was clearly shown dangling around his neck, and Joe wore just a plain white vest.

"Oh come on, Trish," Joe pleaded.

"Okay," I said, rolling my eyes. I guess I didn't count Joe as a friend then, but I got on great with him and knew that sooner or later I would regard him a close friend.

Walking over to the bar, I frowned at Rachel, who was standing there looking smug. Without a word, I bent down and grabbed three beers from the refrigerator and put the note Joe had given me into the till.

"Three?" a smiling Rachel asked as I made my way back over to the table. I didn't respond - just gave her the middle finger, which made her laugh (to my annoyance).

I sat down next to Joe at the table and slid a beer over to Billy, who grasped it tightly. I noticed that a few of his knuckles were cut when he annoyingly tapped the silver rings he wore on the table.

"Working again?" Joe asked lightly.

"Yeah, wrestle your grandmother?" Billy spat referring to what I said the night before. It was blatantly obvious that he was in a foul mood, and I think I added to it by joining them.

"It's been known to happen," I said lightly, but then switched my attention to Joe. "How can you even drink? You were wasted last night!" 

"Was I? Hell. I can take my fuckin' drink," he said in a "matter of fact" tone.

"I could drink you under the table," I sniggered. I could see from the corner of my eye Billy watching me and Joe laughing whilst he lit up a cigarette.

"You name a time and place, and I'll be there, little girl." 

"Little girl? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm sure last time I checked I was older than you. Tomorrow night, my place," I joked.

"Deal. I am going to -" Joe was interrupted.

"Joe, why don't you shut the fuck up?" Billy commanded, and Joe obeyed.

Turning so my eyes were on Billy, I spoke again. Although I was still slightly nervous around Billy, I felt more relaxed sitting with Joe. 

"Yeah, Joe, why don't you shut up?" My eyes met Billy's and his mine. My creamy brown eyes stared straight into his piercing blue ones and for one second - less than a second - his menacing eyes seemed soft.

"I'm gonna take a shit," Joe said as he got up, walking towards the toilet.

"That's disgusting. In a public restroom, that is disgusting." I broke mine and Billy's stare.

"When you got to go…" Joe yelled as he walked down the dark corridor. I lit myself a cigarette from the ones in my pocket and inhaled the nicotine deeply.

"So… that guy who you... I don't think he called the cops," I stuttered.

"And?" his raspy voice said.

"Only making conversation. I mean you could of seriously hurt that guy," I muttered.

He raised his eyebrows, he didn't care if the guy was hurt. It was obvious. _What a brute._

"Did I scare you?" He asked while placing a cigarette between his lips.

"No." I lied.

"Well maybe I should do something that will fuckin' scare you." He smirked evilly as he got up. 

I turned my head away and went to grab the ashtray with my free hand only for my wrist to be grabbed tightly by his burly hand. His grasp was firm and strong, he held my wrist firmly but not to firm. It felt like a bolt of electricity shot through my wrist and then through my entire body, his touch sent shivers down my spine.

"Tell Joe im in the car." He said gruffly. Then he let go of my wrist and walked away whilst lighting himself a cigarette.

Maybe it was because of his thrilling touch, or maybe it was because he held my wrist to tight and I didn't realise it. But as soon as he turned his back I rubbed the spot on my wrist where he had touched still feeling the chill throughout my entire body.

"Trish!" Rachel yelled across the bar, she was smiling broadly. "I win the bet." She sang like a small girl. I turned my head to see the man known as 'Kevin' to be fast asleep with his head on the table.


	4. If I had been sober

**A/N This chap is really short.**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed, and added this story to their alerts and favourites.**

**Reviews are greatly accepted, as they spur me on to write.**

**And thanks to my incredible beta ****Wisery. **

One week later.

The week had gone by fast, and I was quickly growing accustomed to Billy being at the bar. Out of the six shifts I'd worked that week, he had come in at least three times, and I was slowly becoming more relaxed around him. He still scared me though. His fearsome demeanor and his intense eyes still made me nervous, and I knew that he knew that too. Personally, I think that he enjoyed knowing it.

Joe had never turned up for our 'drinking session' - not that I'd expected him to. It was all just playful banter, but he had tried to convince me to mud wrestle his latest girlfriend. I had gracefully declined.

I was sitting on the rickety wooden stool by the breakfast bar and reading a magazine, still in my pajamas at 12:30pm. I had the whole day off, no money, and, being a Saturday, no college to go to either.

Trigger's bedroom door opened, and he strolled out in nothing but grey boxers whilst scratching his arse and yawning. He made his way over to the kitchen and sat down next to me on the other unstable stool.

"Mornin'," he mumbled.

"Afternoon," I said not looking up from my magazine. I moved my hand over to pick up my cup of coffee to find it was gone, being gulped down by Trigger.

His short bleach blonde hair made him look younger than he was, and the bump in his nose told the tale of many drunken bar fights.

"Enjoying that?" I asked, faking seriousness as I watched him finish my coffee.

"Mmm, what are you doing today?" he sleepily asked. As he said this a red-headed girl stepped out of his bedroom, smiling sheepishly. She walked over to him kissed him on the cheek, told him to call her, and left.

"I see you had a good night," I stated as the girl walked out the door. He just smiled smugly. "Who is she?"

"Alisa or Jane something like that," he said as he got up and walked towards the bathroom.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Trigger and I had been hanging out all day, just lounging around the apartment and talking and having a laugh. It seemed neither of us had anything important to do.

I sat on the couch with my acoustic guitar on my lap, randomly strumming away on some cords while Trigger sat flicking through the channels on the TV.

He was slouching and wearing only a pair of dark blue jeans, leaving his torso bare to see. He had many tattoos over the upper half of his body. He had two black nautical stars on each wrist, on his side, going from right under his arm to his hip, was a picture of a gun shooting out two bullets, and he had many words tattooed on his body in different languages. But my favourite tattoo of his was the small scribble on his chest that read 'your name here'.

To my relief, he was not sporting a tribal tattoo. Well, not yet anyway.

"So what happened last night?" I asked him. "I thought you were supposed to be 'working,'" I said, using air quotes when I said the word working.

"Yeah, me and Joe were supposed to be, but we ended up meeting up with his new girl and her friend, and we had a few. Anyway, we never made it out to work." He started shaking his head, obviously regretting not working the night before. "Billy's going to be pissed."

I tried to give him a reassuring smile, but I could see he was worried. I placed my guitar down next to the TV and walked over to the small kitchen.

"You want something to eat?" I asked as I made myself a glass of water.

"No, I'm good." I walked back over and sat beside him, placing my head on his shoulder.

"You wanna watch a movie?" He nodded yes. "Can we watch 'Fear'?" I begged him with my eyes.

"Not again," he whined.

"Please? Go on, a young Markymark Wahlberg and a young Reese Witherspoon - both in bathing suits. It's the perfect movie for us." He just nodded yes again. "YAY!" I yelled in triumph. While we watched the movie, Trigger made fun of it at every possible opportunity.

"Seriously, what with his fuckin' gay ass soft voice he's putting on when he's around her. Women like real manly voices, voices you can hear the testosterone in."

"What like yours? Coz' I hate to break it to you, sweetheart, but your voice ain't too manly," I joked.

"Shut up, Patty," he said in a high pitched voice.

"Don't ever call me that again." I pointed a finger in his face playfully.

"Or what? Patty."

I pushed his side and started punching his leg, hoping to give him a dead leg, but he grabbed my head and put me in a head lock. He really was like the brother I never had.

"Do you give?"

"Never," I said through muffled laughs.

"Well, we'll just have to stay like this all night then, won't we?" he said seriously.

My phone started ringing in my bedroom, so I started struggling to get free, but I couldn't break Trigger's strength.

"Got to answer my cell," I said whilst trying to pull his arm away from me.

"Fine. Do you give?"

"Yes, I give up." I sighed, waiting for him to release me.

"And what am I?" It was so lame that we playfully fought so much that I knew what I would have to say for him to release me.

"You are a sex god, the funniest guy I've ever met, and the coolest." He then let go of me, and I ran into my bedroom to pick up my phone.

It was a foreign number that I didn't recognize so I presumed it was a telemarketer or something.

"Hello?" I asked down the line, holding the phone against my ear.

"Tee, how are you?" It was Michelle - only she and Alex ever called me 'Tee'.

"I'm fine," I said, getting excited about speaking to one of my best friends. "How're things in New York? How's Alex?"

"I'm good. Everything's great, except I'm not in New York. I'm in Paris," her soft voice said giddily.

"Paris? As in Paris, France Paris?" I asked sceptically.

"Uh-huh. I've come to meet Pier's family." My jaw hit the floor in shock.

"That's great. How is Pier?" To tell you the truth I really didn't know what to say.

"He's good. Im telling you I thought he was passionate back in New York, but in his home country he's ten times more passionate about _everything_."

"That's nice, real nice," I joked. As I said this Trigger came in, whispered that he was leaving, and ruffled my hair.

"But Michelle, I never thought it. You taking time off school to go across the world. Shocking," I joked. In the past, Michelle refused to miss a day of school even when she was sick.

"I've dropped out of college." My jaw hit the floor again. "Pier and I are going to travel the world. We're going to London next week." Before I could reply, she started speaking again. "My money's going. Loveyoumissyou." Then the line went dead.

"Bye," I said glumly to myself, looking at my cell phone.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The hot bath I was enjoying was interrupted by the noise from the front door being opened, then banging on the bathroom door, and Trigger's voice telling me he needed to piss. _Oh yes - come back when I'm in the bath._

"Yeah, I'm in the bath. I'll be right out," I yelled back through the door as I stood up in the bathtub. I got out of the tub and began to towel dry my dripping wet hair. I dried myself quickly all over before unlocking the bathroom door in nothing but a small skimpy pink towel. "All night you've been out doing God knows, and when I'm in the bath, you come back!" I said, faking seriousness as I opened the door.

Trigger was standing there, fidgeting his legs. He was obviously eager to go to the toilet, so just for a little pay back for the headlock earlier in the day, I stood in the doorway, smiling broadly but not making any effort to move.

"Are you going to fuckin' move?" he asked eagerly.

"Umm no, I don't think so." As I finished my sentence, he pushed past me and gently pushed me out into the small kitchen.

I lightly laughed under my breath and walked over to the refrigerator, not taking any notice of who was sitting in the dark in my living room. Kneeling down and looking into the refrigerator, I noticed that there were no beers left, though there had been a few earlier on in the night.

"Where the fuck have all the beers gone?" I asked myself, but I quickly found my answer when I heard a male cough coming from the living room area. Quickly, I turned the living room light on to see Joe, Bodie and Billy sitting there - all staring at me. Each with a beer clutched in their hands. Joe looked utterly miserable until he realised I was in a towel and to get to my bedroom I'd have to walk by them all. A broad grin appeared on Joe's his face then.

I gave them a weak smile before quickly walking past them to get to my door. Bodie stood up against the wall next to the TV, looking down at his bottle, and Billy lounged on the shitty couch, openly watching me. _Why is he always staring at me?_

When I tried to open my door, it decided to jam. _YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!!_

"The door - it uh, it jams," I stuttered out. I stood there, holding the door knob tightly, silently begging for Trigger to hurry up, but I couldn't help but steal quick glances at Billy. He terrified me, but I couldn't help but find him alluring.

My attention was quickly drawn back to Joe when he started tugging at the bottom of the short towel I had wrapped around myself. I slapped his hand away quickly and gave him a stern glare.

"C'mon Trish I know you fuckin' want me," he stated, smiling up at me. He was sat in the ragged old arm chair, which nobody but Joe sat on as there were springs poking out of it everywhere.

"Joey," I said sweetly, "I want you like I want a bad headache." Bodie let out a loud laugh, and I could see in the corner of my eye a small smile appear on Billy's lips. I spoke freely like that to Joe because I knew he wouldn't take offense. Finally, Trigger re-entered the room. "Would you please open this piece of shit door?"

As soon as my door was opened, I shuffled inside, quickly closing it behind me and placing my CD player on quietly as I dried myself.

When I was dry and in my spotty white pyjama trousers and my baggy Guns'n'Roses T-shirt I realised my phone and guitar were still in the living room, and I really didn't trust Joe with either of them. So I opened my bedroom door, hoping they were gone. They weren't.

Trigger was sitting on one of the kitchen stools, looking extremely nervous, and he seemed to of been receiving instructions from Billy. But they all became quiet when I entered the room.

"I just need to get…" I didn't finish my sentence - just pointed towards the guitar and the phone. My guitar was placed against the wall next to the TV, and my phone was placed next to Billy on the couch. I grabbed the guitar first and took it into my bedroom. Then I re-entered the room to collect my phone. As I leaned over to pick up my cell phone, I looked up at Billy, who was watching my every move intently.

"What are you doing tonight?" Joe asked me as I walked past him. I raised my eyebrows to him because it was already 8pm, and I had just got out of the bath. It was unlikely I would be doing anything.

"I'm going to get wasted on some cheap ass strong vodka," I said lightly.

"You want to have that drinking session?" he asked glumly. He was pissed off about something.

"You're fuckin' workin' tonight," Billy's deep voice said as he lit himself a cigarette.

I just gave Joe a weak smile and tapped his shoulder then re-entered my bedroom not looking back at them, although my mind begged me to take one last glance at Billy.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I hadn't left my room for over an hour, and, to my knowledge, all the guys had left. Trigger had yelled through my door to let me know that he was leaving and that he probably wouldn't be home that night. I didn't like staying in the apartment alone at night, but I knew it was something I had to get used to, so I tried not to think about it.

The heating was broken in my apartment, sometimes making the place so warm it felt like it was situated in the centre of the sun and other times it would be so cold, you'd swear it was situated in the North Pole. That particular evening I was roasting in the 'centre of the sun'.

I was lying on my mattress in my purple lacy underwear set reading my favourite novel of all time, _Pride and Prejudice_. My copy of the book was worn and tattered, and the cover was about to fall off the actual book. I guess the amount of times I had read it meant that I needed a new copy. _I wish I could find my Mr. Darcy._

I was very intoxicated by the time I decided I needed some ice to cool me down, so I didn't think of putting on a robe when I went out of my room. I didn't place my drink or book down when I left my room - just carried them still, the book held high to my face so I could read it. If I had been sober, I would have never left my room in just my underwear.

I was about two meters out of my bedroom when I accidentally whacked my foot on the TV. I yelped and moved the book away from my face, and I saw something I really didn't expect to see. No, it wasn't my Mr. Darcy sitting on my couch, waiting for me. It was Mr. Darley, Billy Darley.

"Jesus!" I yelled when I noticed him. I had accidentally spilt my drink all over myself and my book when I saw him. I then realised I was standing there, shaking the drink off my book and wiping it off myself in just my _underwear_, in front of him. A small smirk had appeared on his lips. "Oh god." I then rushed off into my bedroom , my face turning a very bright shade of red.

I re-appeared a few minutes later now in a thin robe, and I had turned from a bright shade of red to a pale pink. Slowly, I sat down on the not so comfy chair(normally I'd never sit there, but I didn't want to get to close) and looked at my soaked book. To be fair I didn't actually want to go and sit with him, but it wouldn't of been rude if I hadn't.

I glanced up to see Billy still smirking with a cigarette hanging from his lips. He was wearing a black T-shirt, which showed off his muscular arms and the tribal tattoos that covered them, and a pair of dark blue jeans with a rip on one of the knees.

"What are you doing here?" I asked bluntly. I wouldn't have been so blunt if I had been sober. "Didn't you leave like an hour ago?"

I noticed he had a bottle of cheap whiskey next to him, and it seemed he had the same idea as me - to just get wasted.

"No." He said seriously.

"Why?" He looked at me stupidly. "Why did you not leave?"

"Where you from, kid?" he asked, completely dismissing my first question and flicking some ash into the ashtray.

"Chicago, and please don't call me kid. You're only a couple of years older than me," I said as I poured myself another vodka and went to the kitchen to find some coke and ice.

I would of never have told him to not call me 'kid' if I was sober and I had only just met him. Especially with him being a leader of a gang.

"How old are you?" I could hear him slurring slightly. He seemed to be pretty drunk himself.

"How old do you want me to be?" I joked; it really was the alcohol talking. I went and placed myself back into the chair "I'm twenty, and you are?"

"Twenty-two." He then got up and walked over to my kitchen, opened my cupboards, pulled out six shot glasses, and came back to the couch. Again, if I was sober I would have been shocked at him just making himself at home and rifling through the cupboards without asking, but I was so drunk, I didn't care. He came back over, poured six shots of whiskey, and slid three over to me.

I just nodded at him and did the three one after the other but gagged afterwards, I was never a whiskey person.

"That was disgusting," I said as he slammed the last shot glass down. To my disbelief he didn't grimace at all.

I leaned back into the chair a little to have a spring pop and cause much pain to my rear end.

"Fuck!" I yelled as I stood up and looked down the horrible chair. "The chair just tried to ram a spring up my arse," I declared, which made Billy laugh but it wasn't a real laugh, it was just at the back of his throat.

Whilst rubbing my left bum-cheek with my hand I sat down on the couch next to Billy, where I had a few more shots of vodka and whiskey mixed. The more drunk we got the more we talked (I honestly don't remember what about) and before I knew it I was so drunk I completely forgot that Billy was a gang leader, drug dealer, and God only knew what else.

"Your tattoos are amazing," I said as I leaned over and admired the work.

I glanced up to see him looking down at me. Our eyes connected, and his blue ones penetrated me. I felt like I wouldn't ever be able to take my eyes off them again. Just as I was moving my head up closer to his so that our lips would meet, I took my eyes off him and stumbled over to the kitchen. Didn't take long to take my eyes away, did it?

"Uh, do you want some more ice, it's boiling in here…" I turned around and almost walked into his chest. He was standing there right in front of me, a small sexy smirk across his lips and his eyes glazed over with lust. If I was sober I would have never of done what I did.

At that moment I wrapped my arm around his neck and pulled him down so our lips would meet. He took control of the kiss, he being the one to slip his tongue into my mouth first. The kiss was deep, passionate, and strong, and he held a firm grip on my small waist and another hand on the back of my head. He gently pushed me back up against the kitchen counter where our fiery kiss continued. I had _never _been kissed like that before.

Within a few moments, he stopped kissing me deeply and started placing kisses down my jaw line and onto my neck. I could feel his facial hair rub against my skin. As he recommenced the deep kissing, his hand slipped up my robe and onto on my thigh, which he repeated with his other hand on my other thigh. If I had been sober I wouldn't have allowed someone to touch me like that. After all, I didnt even know him and we'd only been making out for five minutes, but the truth was I wanted him, and I'd had way to much to drink.

He lifted me up so that my legs were wrapped around his waist and my back was pushed right up against the counter. I broke the kiss to start kissing his neck where my muffled voice said:

"Let's go to my bedroom." He obliged.

**A/n You may be thinking 'that was abit quick of them to sleep together' and it is, but its all part of the story.**


	5. Regrets

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Sentence, or any of the characters from it. I own Trish and Trigger.**

**A/N Thanks for all of the reviews, and keep them coming they make me happy : D**

**and thanks to all the people who added this story to their alerts and favourites.**

**And a HUGE thanks to my fantastic beta ****wisery.**

My eyes opened slowly, and I instantly felt the throbbing sensation in my head. I let out a groan and raised my hand to my head. After lying in bed trying to make myself get up to take some aspirin for a few minutes, I realised I was naked, and I never slept naked. I sat up quickly, which didn't help my aching head, and looked beside me to find the bed empty but the sheets askew. Then I saw my underwear garments thrown carelessly around my usually tidy room. My bra was hanging off my door knob, and my French-knickers were on top of the picture of me, my dad and my sister. After seeing my scattered underwear, I suddenly started remembering the night before: I remembered myself flirting with Billy outrageously, then kissing Billy, and then….

"Oh god. No, no," I said to myself as I reached over to the bin near my bed and pulled it towards me, and there it was - confirmation of what I already knew. A used condom.

When I got up, I noticed multiple marks on my body from the night before. I had hickeys on my neck, chest, and stomach, and I could tell they were going to be there for a while. I scrunched my nose up in disgust at myself.

Lounging on the couch in fluffy pink pyjamas, I grunted into the pillow that I had brought into the living room from my bedroom, I had taken some asprin but that had yet to get rid of my throbbing headache.

I couldn't believe what I had done. I, Trish Wilson, had a one night stand. I never did things like that, and not only was it a one night stand; it was a one night stand with a gang lord, a drug dealer, and a regular where I worked. Honestly, I felt like a dirty slut. _Whiskey is the root of all evil Trish, you should know that by now!_

I had already showered, and as much as I wanted to go and just sleep the day away, I couldn't. I knew that despite the hangover I was enduring, If I went back to bed i'd be there for the night, and I was working. Working in the bar that practically guaranteed Billy Darley would show up.

"Boo!" Trigger's voice whispered into my ear, making me jump. I rolled over to see him standing in his boxers.

"You scared me," I stated.

"Not dancing this mornin'?" he asked as he took a cigarette from my pack and lit it.

"God no," I said shaking my head. The thought of doing my normal dance and exercises (which I did most mornings) made me feel sick - all that moving about just made me feel dizzy at the thought of it. "I've been dancing almost every morning since I was thirteen, I don't think missing today will hurt."

" Shame, I was hoping to see you in some tight shorts this morning," We both let out a small laugh."I'm jumping in the shower, and when I get out I'm taking you to breakfast. If you're not dressed, you'll be going in your pyjamas," he said as he walked into the bathroom, cigarette still clutched in his hand.

"No, I'm good." My voice was muffled as I had my face stuck into my pillow.

He poked his head out the bathroom door and said, "Pyjamas or clothes; it's up to you." _ERGHHHHH! _

With a grunt I made my way to my bedroom to get ready. _There's no coffee here anyway._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Trigger and I walked down the apartment building steps - he dressed in a pair of blue jeans, a black top and black leather jacket, and I in a pair of tight fitting blue jeans, a Rolling Stones t-shirt, and a denim waistcoat, all completed with aviator type sun glasses. My hair was tied loosely to one side so that it all fell down covering the hickey on the left side of my neck.

As we left the apartment building, I noticed the red mustang with black tribal symbols parked outside. _Isn't that Heco the junkies car?_ Nobody was in it, and I didn't think much of it until Trigger walked over to it and got in.

I stopped outside the car, not wanting to get in Heco's car (I really didn't like him) and wondering why Trigger had the car.

"Get in," Trigger yelled from inside the car, and reluctantly, I opened the passenger side door and sat on the old leather seat.

"How do you have this car?" I asked as he started the rumbling engine and drove off. "I thought you had to be right in with the goon-squad for you to get to drive one of their cars," I said whilst flicking through the radio stations, looking for a soft song that wouldn't make my head hurt more than it already did.

Trigger didn't reply to my question, but I didn't continue to ask, my head still ached and I weren't about to make it worst with my nagging.

After driving for about ten minutes and listening to nothing but old soft pop songs, we pulled into the parking lot of a diner called Hal's Diner.

We got out and made our way in. The place was relatively quiet, but it was 2 PM, so the rush had most likely ended. We sat in a booth in the corner of the diner and waited for one of the waitresses, who were clad in ugly brown dresses, to come over.

After about five minutes, a waitress with jet black curly hair, hazel eyes, and a deep tan walked over to us. She was very pretty, and I could see a small smile appear on Trigger's lips when he noticed her.

"Well hey there," Trigger said to the young waitress whilst pulling of his dark sunglasses and pocketing them.

"Hi, what can I get you?" the young waitress asked with her small voice. She looked about nineteen.

"What do you recommend?" He leaned up to get a better look at her name tag. "What do you recommend, Violet?" he asked flirtatiously, looking into her eyes with his big green ones.

A small smile appeared on her lips, and I could see she was beginning to blush.

"There's a lot on offer, just take a look at one of the menus," she said coyly. She then handed him a menu, which he didn't look at - just placed back down on the table.

"But what do you recommend?" Trigger asked again, keeping his eyes on her at all times. I couldn't help but smile at their little conversation. Trigger was clearly flirting with her, and she was clearly embarrassed, but she didn't take her eyes off him.

"The blueberry pancakes are good."

"Okay, I'll take an order of blueberry pancakes and a glass of coke." He continued to watch her as she wrote his order down with a small smile on her lips. "Violet, that's a real beautiful name." She was blushing quite a lot now. "Beautiful, just like the owner of the name." _Oh yeah, he wants to get into her pants._

A large grin that she couldn't hide covered her pretty features now.

"And you?" she asked rather dully to me.

"Just a coffee." She scribbled it down on her notepad, gave Trigger one last smile, and walked off, making me yell after her, "Black, please."

I turned back to see Trigger watching her walk away – no, scratch that. More like watching her arse as she walked away.

After she had rounded the corner of the counter, he looked at me, his face serious.

"You are such a flirt, you know that?" I said, still smiling.

"I saw Billy leave this mornin'," he said, changing the subject. I just made a 'hmm' noise, not really knowing what to say. "He was doing his jeans zipper up as he left your bedroom." _Oh shit - busted!_

"Oh." It was all I could manage to say. I was ashamed about it to say the least. It wasn't something that I did - especially not with a guy who I was absolutely certain that I had nothing in common with. Truth be told, I think if we really hung out, we wouldn't like each other much.

"That's all you're gonna say?" he said seriously, sounding a lot older than his nearly twenty-one years.

As if on cue, Violet approached with my coffee and his cold drink. After placing them on the table and me saying a small thank you, she walked off, looking back over her shoulder at Trigger.

"Well, what do you want me to say, Adam?" I said using his birth name. I only used it when I was serious or when I was annoyed.

"I just wanna know why you fucked a guy like Billy, that's all," his tone was harsh, and his strong Chicago accent was clear.

"What?!" When he didn't say anything - just sat there staring at me emotionlessly, I continued. I was angry that he would question who I chose to sleep with. Even if it was a bad choice, and, the truth be told, it was more of the alcohol's choice when it came to sleeping with him. Although I found him attractive and alluring, oh so alluring, if I was the type of girl who slept around, I wouldn't have slept with him. "I had too much to drink. It was a mistake that I don't plan on _ever _repeating, and either way it's none of your business," I said, almost yelling. _How dare he question me! He always brings home women. It's not my fault that I can't take my whiskey._

"I was just concerned - that's all. Which leads on to me fuckin' mentioning that nice mark on your neck, Trish. Very fuckin' classy." Before I could reply, Violet came over with a pile of pancakes for Trigger. She stood there smiling, but then I think she felt the tension and scurried away.

I shook my head in disbelief and stared at the doors, not wanting to look at Trigger, when I saw Rachel and Tommy walk in. She was a few feet ahead of him and looked really pissed off. He was just casually walking behind her, smoking a cigarette. They turned a few heads as they walked by, Rachel because she was rather pretty and Tommy for looking rough and dangerous.

She saw Trigger and I, came over, and slid into the booth so that she was sitting next to me. A few moments later, Tommy reached the table with a wide grin, exchanged a 'manly' hug with Trigger, whispered something in his ear, and then joined the table. Rachel and I looked at them both with anger in our eyes.

"Uch men, all they are are wastes of space," she declared loudly enough for both boys to hear. Tommy just took another drag of his cigarette and waved to beckon Violet over. This time, she returned, looking at the two new occupants with caution.

"Yes?" Violet stated coyly.

"Yeah, I'll take some of those pancakes," he said, gesturing to the remaining pancake left on Trigger's plate with his cigarette, "and a cup of coffee."

"I'll have the same," Rachel quickly inputted before Violet walked away. She then turned her head to me and smiled a big smile. "So Trish, I was wondering - how about a girls night out on Thursday? Huh, what you say?" I was slightly taken back, after all we weren't close.

"Oh I don't know, I have my student loan to pay next week, and rent's due. I don't think I can afford a night out," I said shaking my head and biting my lip.

"Don't you come from some rich family though?" she stated.

"No, my step-father's rich,and I don't want his money so I paid my own college fees this year, so I had to get a loan," I corrected eagerly, "and shifts are down in the bar. I can't afford it - sorry." Honestly, a girls night out was appealing, but the prospect of drinking alcohol wasn't so much.

"Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you Sammy is firing Marie and Becky, something about how they're terrible at their job. It's Becky's last night tonight, so we'll be getting extra shifts. And I know some of the barmen to the club I want to go to, so we can have some free drinks," she said excitedly. I could see in the corner of my eye, Tommy's eyes shot up to look at Rachel when she said she knew some of the barmen.

"Okay, maybe," I said whilst drinking the last of my coffee.

"Great! Oh, don't tell Becky that she's being sacked. Sammy's not telling her until the end of the night. You're working tonight, right?" Her voice was sweet.

"Yeah, unfortunately," I said dully.

"Are you ready to go?" Trigger asked. I just nodded, stood up, and slid past Rachel and out of the booth.

"I'm coming into the bar tonight, so I'll talk to you about Thursday then," Rachel said to me before turning back to Tommy, and as I walked away I could hear them arguing.

Trigger had already gone over to Violet and paid the bill. He was now whispering flirtatiously into her ear. After a few minutes, he walked towards me, and then we both walked out together towards the red car, where we both jumped in silently.

We had been driving around for ten minutes in silence when Trigger finally broke it.

"I'm sorry about earlier. I was just trying to… just maybe it's not a good idea, getting involved with him like that," he finally got out. He was taking glances at me as he spoke, but then he quickly averted his eyes back to the road.

"Apology accepted, and don't worry - I have no intention of going down that road with him again," I said, not looking away from him. "I can't believe I did it though. I'm not like that!"

"I know. I was a little shocked because I saw a guy leaving your bedroom at four AM this morning, and then of course because it was Billy," he said, not taking his eyes off the road.

"I've never had a one night stand in my life. I feel like a dirty slut," I confessed.

"You're not a dirty slut, and I think you're lying to yourself there," he said with a small grin.

"Oh yeah, but I was sixteen and pilled up. So were you, so I don't count it as a one night stand." He was still grinning. "And I liked you, so yeah," I said, trying to defend the night I lost my virginity to Trigger all those years ago. It was the night before I got busted and sent to rehab.

"You liked me?" He was still grinning widely.

"Yeah, and if I hadn't got caught with those pills, it probably would have been a repeat performance - if I had had my way anyway," I said, smiling. "God, I'm glad I dodged that bullet," I added after laughing.

"Very funny. But im sure it was you who came onto me," I stayed silent, smiling coyly out the window. "Yeah, we were in a house party and you grabbed me dragged me into the bathroom, fuckin' pushed me into the tub and then I gave you the best sex you ever had," he said arrogantly, with a childish smirk on his face.

" In your dreams," I said whist smiling broadly at him.

"Yeah, whatever, you wanted me bad," he said whilst laughing.

" Yeah ofcourse I did," the sarcasm dripped off my tongue."But apart from that one night in hell , I've only slept with Zack and now Billy." Zack was my ex-boyfriend, who I'd been with since I was eighteen - until about four months ago. He was one of George's business friend's son's, and although he was nice guy, I felt like we never connected. He obviously did because he asked me to move in with him (I was staying at his place about four times a week already), and that's when I realised I had been with him way too long and that I didn't and never would love him. So I broke up with him, and when I wouldn't get back with him a few weeks later, it sparked a row between me, my mother, and George. We started quickly arguing about other things as well, resulting in me living with Trigger and working in The Four Roses. "Am I a slut?" I was so paranoid back then, I honestly felt really dirty.

"No you're not; stop worrying about it." I just nodded.

"Why do you have this car?" I asked a few minutes later whilst adjusting the radio to a more lively song. My headache was slowly disappearing.

"I've got a few deliveries to make," he said simply. I moaned abit about it, but he clearly stated that he wanted company and that I was to drive around with him.

We drove around for a while, and I reluctantly went along to the deliveries, although at Trigger's request (and my relief), I stayed in the car while these dodgy dealings took place.

I was sitting in the car about a hundred yards from where Trigger was talking to some guy, who seemed to be getting angry when my phone began to ring.

_She said she__'__d take me anywhere_

_She__'__d take me anywhere_

_As long as she stayed clean._

I looked at my phone and squeaked when I realised it was my sister, Anna. _I need to change my ring tone._

"Hey Anna." I was smiling from ear to ear. I hadn't heard from my sister in a few weeks. She was most likely busy with planning her wedding.

"Hey Trish. How're things?" I knew she wanted to know how I was, but I also knew this call was probably because she wanted to talk about the wedding. I didn't mind though.

"I'm good. How's the wedding planning coming?" I asked, still watching Trigger from the car. He was on his cell now, but his eyes were staring the drug addict down.

"Oh, everything's going fine. We've booked the church and where we are going to have the reception (they were getting married here in Chicago because both their families lived here). I just got to get a dress, so I'm going to be in town in a couple of weeks. What do you say? Will you come wedding dress shopping with me?!" I could hear the excitement in her voice - her day was finally going to come. She had literally been planning this wedding since she was about seven.

"Of course I will! When's the date of the wedding again?"

"May the seventh. I'm so excited - I'm finally going to be Mrs. Barry Shaw!" I couldn't have been happier for Anna. She was marrying her childhood sweetheart (they'd been together since they were fifteen), and I'd never seen a couple who was so in love. I didn't think I'd ever feel for someone the way Anna felt for Barry.

The conversation lasted about another fifteen minutes, during which Trigger had gotten back in the car and driven off. I don't think a deal was made between him and the drug addict.

The rest of day went smoothly, and at six o' clock Trigger dropped me off outside The Four Roses.

I slowly walked in, removing my sun glasses as I entered the musky building. I first looked down at the gang's table but no one was there. Becky was already standing behind the bar, swaying her hips as she poured three beers for people at a nearby table. Her black hair was cut into a bob, her lips were thin, and her nose pointed.

As it was still quiet, I sat on a stool, lit myself a cigarette, and inhaled the nicotine deeply. It was going to be a long night with Becky, not that she had done anything bad to me, but I did find her somewhat irritating with her constant talk about bedding members of Billy's gang and who'd she'd like to bed, and I really was not in the frame of mind for her that night.

The night went by slowly; it was only 9:30 PM, and I felt like I had been working for about twelve hours. I blocked out Becky's voice for most of the night, just nodding now and again and smiling. I tried to keep myself busy, wiping down tables I had already wiped a hundred times that night, anything would do rather than listening to her say that she'd love to sleep with Billy (she had already said it about four times).

Tommy, Baggy, and Spink had been sitting in the bar for a couple of minutes when two policemen walked in, one was my height and round around the stomach, the other was rather tall and had a long nose. They both walked with confidence and looked around the place for a few moments. Then they walked up to me (I was wiping down more tables) and the short one gave me a short forced smile, the tall one's face stayed long and straight and he was staring at the guys over at their table.

"Excuse me, are you Trish?" the short one asked cheerfully, I could see Spink, Baggy and Tommy watching what was happening, the tall officer averted his eyes to me now.

"Yeah, that's me," I replied, wiping the edge of the table.

"Im officer Green and this is officer Mathews," the tall one said, he then stuck his hand out, which I briefly shook.

"What were you doing between 10 and 11 PM last night?" asked officer Mathews, I raised my eyebrows at him. Was it really any of their buissness?

"I was in my apartment - why?" I asked as I folded my arms across my chest

"Were you alone?" Officer Green asked sternly.

"No, I wasn't," I said simply.

"May I ask who you were with?" officer Mathews piped in, his voice was kinder than the other officers.

"Yeah, a guy called Billy Darley," I said curtly. They both nodded their heads simultaneously

"Okay can I get some of your details?" Officer Mathews asked with a sigh, Officer Green wasn't paying attention now, but was looking around the bar.

"Okay."

"Full name, date of birth, and current address, please?" he said dully.

I gave him all of my details, and went to turn around and continue wiping the tables when he spoke again.

"And you are a barmaid here at The Four Roses?" I nearly said yes, but luckily I remembered I was on the books as just a waitress because I wasn't twenty-one yet.

"No, I'm a waitress - not twenty-one yet." He just made "huh" noise, and I knew that he knew that I was really a barmaid, but I don't think he cared. I'm sure she had bigger things to worry about. His radio went off and he picked it up and started speaking.

"Yes, Darley's alibi checks out. Okay, I'll see you later." That's when I realised why he was in my apartment. He knew something was going to happen, and he needed someone to be able to vouch that he had nothing to do with it. And who better than me, the college student with a clean record. _The fucker used me. _"Sorry about that. Are you sure that he was with you between ten and eleven?"

"Yes," I stated simply. He just nodded and began to make his way out of the bar.

"Oh and Miss?" I looked up towards him and he continued to talk. "I'd stay away from Darley in future," he then nodded his head and left the building with his partner.

I was so annoyed that he had used me so he could have an alibi, and I knew then that Trigger must have known why he stayed and probably planned it with him. I felt even more of a dirty slut than I did before because of what I had just found out. I wanted to know if it was all part of his plan to sleep with me or if it was just a little extra bonus thrown in.

I finally cooled down at about ten PM. Rachel walked in and sat by the bar. Sammy had just come in and asked to speak to Becky, so they were sitting at a table in the corner.

"Hey, is Sammy doing it now?" she asked eagerly, looking over her shoulder to see what was going on.

"Yeah, I think so. I've been thinking about it, and I will go out with you on Thursday now that we're going to have some more shifts." She was smiling broadly now, and I could tell she was trying to not look over to the table where Tommy was sitting.

"Great. What's that on your neck, Trish?" she asked whilst leaning over and moving my hair from my neck. I instinctively backed away, but she'd already seen. "So who is he?"

"No one you know," I lied, . I didn't want anyone knowing anyway, especially since I found out he'd used me."You want a drink?"

"Yeah, get me a vodka and coke," I could see her smiling, and I knew she wasn't going to leave it lie with just a 'no one.'

I grimaced as I made the drink, and the smell of vodka nearly made me throw up. As I turned around to give the drink to Rachel, I saw Billy walking towards the guys. He was wearing a black T-shirt with a lighter long sleeved shirt underneath it and a pair of dark jeans. His silver cross necklace hung around his neck, and a cigarette was perched between his lips.

He was looking straight ahead as he walked. I looked down, feeling my whole body rise with nerves and anger.

Becky soon walked over and hopped on the stool next to Rachel. She looked flustered and annoyed.

"Can you believe he fired me!" she declared. "Trish, get me a beer."

I walked over and poured her a glass. She continued talking with Rachel as I did this. When I gave it to her, she got up, walked over to the gang, said something to them, and then sat down.

"If she tries something with Tommy, I will go over there and put her face through that table," Rachel said whilst she stared Becky down as she sat between Tommy and Billy.

Rachel soon picked up her drink and sat between Tommy and Baggy, and I could see her glaring at Becky whilst she spoke with Tommy, but Becky soon turned her attention to Billy.

Becky was supposed to continue working her shift, but who would after they'd just been sacked? But I was managing fine on my own, and Sammy was around. If it got too busy, he could come and help. I avoided Billy's table like the plague and pretended to not notice Rachel when she made nodding movements, wanting me to go and see her.

"Hey Trish, come here," demanded Spink. _Lazy assholes. Why can't they just get up and come to the bar._

I slowly made my way over there, playing with the hem of my beloved Rolling Stones T-shirt. When I made it to the table, I gave a small smile to them but avoided eye contact with Billy with all my might.

"Yes?" I said curtly. Unfortunately, it was Billy who spoke next, and I had to direct my gaze towards him.

"Another round of beers and another round of shots of whiskey," his husky voice said. His gaze was fierce, and although I wanted to slap him, I also couldn't forget how good his lips felt against my skin and the roughness of his unshaven upper lip and chin against my body

_Sure, asshole. _"Sure," I managed to stop myself from saying the last part.

I walked off and made my way back to the bar where I started to pour the shots and place them on a tray. I then started pouring the beers when Billy walked over and sat on one of the bar stools in front of me. I didn't look up from what I was doing. I didn't want to look into his icy blue eyes, and I most definitely didn't want a conversation to start.

As I placed the last of the beers on the tray, he spoke.

"I'll have mine by the bar." _Oh God. He better not try and speak to me._

I didn't reply - just pulled one beer and one shot off the tray and walked off to take the rest to the others. When I got to the table Rachel gave me eyes as if asking 'Why is Billy sitting over by the bar?' I just quickly looked away

When I got back to the bar, I started to wipe it down furiously, anything to avoid a conversation with Billy Darley.

When I finished wiping the bar, I went to go and make myself busy somewhere else, but Billy spoke again.

"I'll take another shot." I quickly started making one for him, and I heard him speak again when my back was to him. "Get one for yourself as well."

I poured just one and gave it to him.

"Unfortunately I am incapable of having just one drink, so if I have one shot, I'll want another and another and I do things that I later regret whilst drunk," I made it quite clear to him that I regretted what had happened.I could see his jaw tighten as I spoke, "Oh and don't worry, I told the cops that you were with me," I said harshly. I couldn't help myself; it just slipped out.

I then walked off to go and collect other glasses.

When I returned to the bar, he was sitting back at the table, much to my relief.

Another hour had passed, and I was getting ready to go home when Rachel came over, stole my apartment keys, and said that she wouldn't give them back until I had a drink with them. After realising she wasn't going to give them back, I got myself a Coke and joined the group.

Becky was all over Billy now, literally all over him. She was sitting on his lap and giggling furiously at everything he said. Personally, it made me feel quite sick. I was sitting between Baggy and Rachel, which made it okay. _At least it will be decent conversation with these two. Pfft who am I kidding, at least it will be decent conversation with Rachel._

"Where are you going to get a new job now then Becky?" Rachel asked sounding generally interested, but I knew she wasn't. Rachel had told me many times how much she loathed Becky.

"I'm not sure. I can't go work in a different bar around here coz I don't want to be near other gangs. You guys know you're my number one boys." Rachel and I tried to suppress laughs, but I couldn't hold it in and let out a light chuckle.

"What do you find so fuckin' funny?" Billy said sharply, staring directly at me. I could see all the guys who were smiling before turn serious and look down. But before I could answer, Joe walked in and took a seat opposite me.

"Hey Trish, what the fuck are you doin' here?" he asked, a look of amazement on his face. That look really did tell me that I had no life, but I didn't care, id rather have no life than hang out with these gang bangers regularly.

"I don't actually know. I think I'm going to take off," I said as I rose in my seat.

"I'll come with," Rachel said as she pulled out her cell. She dialed a number as she put her jacket on. "Hello, could I get a cab please? Yeah, from The Four Roses bar, you know it? Great." She covered the phone and whispered to me, "What's your address?"

"I don't need a ride. I live five blocks away," I said as I grabbed my cell phone and placed it onto my jeans pocket.

"Shut up! It's dangerous out there," she said dully, making me smile. She was shaking her head. "Now where do you live?"

"Bridge-Lake apartment building." I glanced over to see Becky kissing Billy's neck ,he was watching me as she kissed him with a small smirk on his face. A wave of jealously hit me, and I was drowning in it. I shouldn't have been jealous. I knew I shouldn't have been After all, I regretted what had happened, and I'd made that very clear to him._ He's an asshole. He used you, so why are you jealous?_

Rachel finished her phone call and told me the cab would be there in five minutes. I told her I didn't need to share a cab with her, but she wouldn't have it and kept saying the streets were dangerous.

"Bye, guys," I said politely as I walked away, not looking in the direction of Billy and Becky.

But as I was walking away, Joe stepped in front of me and with a wide grin moved my side ponytail out of the way so he could see the hickey. I didn't slap his hand away as I knew he had already seen in.

"Trish got laid," he said whilst smirking.

"No, I didn't," I lied, looking up at him and tugging at the hem of my T-shirt.

"I thought there was something different about you. You look more… relieved. So was it Trigger?" I heard a dry chuckle come from Billy, and I realised they were listening. Rachel shot me a glare and then smiled - she had worked out that it was Billy.

"No it wasn't! And this isn't high school; you don't get to pester me about my sex life." I then put on my sunglasses and walked off towards the door and stood outside, waiting for Rachel. I instantly regretted wearing just a waistcoat over my T-shirt. The cold October air made goosebumps run up my arms, and I unconsciously folded my arms together and started rubbing them.

The door to the bar opened, and Rachel stepped out with Tommy and Baggy. She looked slightly annoyed, and I guessed it was because of the presence of her protective older brother.

"Tommy decided he was going to go home, so Baggy thought he would to," she said as she walked over to me. I knew that Rachel, Baggy, and Tommy shared an apartment, and I guessed Rachel and Tommy's plans were spoiled when Baggy decided to go home as well. _I wonder… if he's catching on. _"So did you?" she whispered into my ear.

"Did I what?"

"Fuck Billy," she whispered again.

"Don't even go there," I said whilst looking in the other direction.

"Oh my shit, you did!" As she said this Billy walked out of the building with Becky, who walked straight towards his car, but he stopped to talk to the guys who were a few feet behind us.

"So you're taking her home?" Tommy asked with a large grin on his face. "Coz she's a good fuckin' lay." This earned a scowl from Rachel, which I'm sure Baggy noticed. I glanced over my shoulder and could see Billy's fierce stare right on me.

"Good coz I haven't had a good fuckin' lay in awhile," Billy spat whilst looking at me. This earned a scowl from me. _If I remember correctly you had a pretty good time_. It was obvious that little comment was aimed at me, and I didn't understand why he was trying to hurt me or piss me off.

He then got in the car with Becky, and the car screeched as they sped off. I could still hear the rumbling of his car even when he was right at the bottom of the street.

**A/n Now please leave a review :)**


	6. A girls night out and an old face

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Sentence, only Trigger and Trish.**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed and added this to their alerts and favourites. And thanks to my marvellous beta Wisery.**

**Ive changed the prologue a little bit so now it says that Trish is thinking over the last two and a half years of her life, rather than two years like it was before.**

**Please Review! It makes me write the chapters quicker :D**

I stomped into my apartment and glared at Trigger, who was sprawled on the couch smoking a joint. I slammed my purse down on the kitchen counter and got myself a soda before walking over and sitting next to him. The room was dark - the only light being the glow from the TV set and the river of moonlight which shone through the two small windows.

"What are you so fuckin' pissed about?" he asked as he took another drag from the joint that filled the room with smoke and the strong smell of weed.

"You left him here so I could be his fuckin' alibi," I said angrily. He put his joint into the ashtray, sat back and sighed.

"Yeah, but I didn't know that you two would sleep together. If I did know that, I wouldn't of left him here," he said truthfully, turning his head so that he gazed at me. His eyes were glazed over, indicating he had smoked a lot of weed before I had arrived home.

"Well, why was he here? Why wasn't he out doing whatever with you guys? Why did he need an alibi? And why couldn't you of left him with someone else?" I questioned.

"Look, Trish, I don't think you want to know." I continued to glare at his relaxed form. "Do you really want to know?" he asked seriously.

"Yes," I said eagerly. He waited a few moments before speaking.

"He needed an alibi because it was my initiation into the gang." My mouth was wide with shock - I knew he would join one day, but I really wasn't expecting it that soon. "With Billy just getting out, the cops would come straight after him, knowing that it was his type of thing, and they would suspect others of lying for him, so we needed someone who has no link with him." I nodded my head to show that I understood. "Look, I'm sorry," he then picked up his joint and took another drag.

"Right… and what did you have to do in this initiation?" I asked cautiously. I cared more about what Trigger would had done now than me being an alibi; I had heard of some gangs making people kill innocent people to get into the gang.

He took a deep breath, then spoke, "You have to smash up a cop car." Now when I look back at it, he was clearly lying, but I didn't catch on then. Or maybe I just didn't want to catch on.

"Oh, okay." He nodded and gave me a small forced smile. "Well then, I'm not going to say anything more about it then, but please if you ever intend on leaving Billy Darley here alone with me again, could I know in advance?" I couldn't be angry with him. I was too thrilled that he hadn't killed someone, or so I thought.

"Don't worry, Trish. I won't be leaving him alone with you again," he puffed away on the last drag of his joint and then put it out. "Aren't you going to give me the lecture on how the gang's stupid?" he asked.

"You know my opinions, and clearly me lecturing you isn't going to make a difference now, is it? I'd just be wasting my breath."

He leaned over to the coffee table and started making himself another joint.

"Jesus, why are you smoking so much of that today?" I inquired.

"I don't know - just feel like it I guess." I just nodded in response.

"You want something to eat? I'm starving," I said as I got up and walked over to the kitchen.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The week went by quickly, with me working at the bar and going to college. I never spoke longer than was necessary to Billy, and he didn't try to extend our conversations either, which was something I was thrilled about. I was still secretly pissed off that he'd used me as an alibi, although I didn't let on. I was polite and mildly friendly towards him and made a point of avoiding his piercing gaze that he directed towards me whilst I worked. I didn't want to give him any reason for him to think I wanted a repeat performance, even if deep down I wanted to feel his body next to mine one more time.

During the week I remembered things from my night with Billy, like the way he kissed, the way he sucked on the curve of my neck, the way his touch made my body tingle. All these things and more made it hard for me to look and talk to him, because every time I did, I'd forget that he'd used me, who he was, and who I was. I would just think about his touch.

But I also remembered feeling a gun tucked in the back of his jeans and then him removing the gun and placing it down on my dresser. I, being my usual drunk on whiskey self, was completely unfazed by it (I swear I turn into a different person when I drink whiskey). But then the sober me would remember that as well as his touch and would make my mind bounce back and forth between me thinking that I don't ever want to see someone like that again and wanting to feel his lips on mine again.

It was now Thursday, and I was getting reading for my night out with Rachel. She was meant to come over by 8pm, but it was already ten past, and she had yet to arrive, not that it bothered me - I wasn't ready anyway. I left the door unlocked, so she could just walk in when she arrived as Trigger was out and my music was far too loud - I wouldn't have heard her knocking.

I was wearing a red backless dress that showed my bare back all the way down to the small of my back. It came to above the knee and hugged my curves in all the right places. I had black stiletto heels on that added another three inches to my height and a small black purse. I had my sandy blonde hair curled and most of it up, just leaving a few curls bouncing down. And to my relief, I was able to cover the hickey on my neck with a lot of powder.

I started to apply red lipstick to my plump lips when my loud music was turned drastically down.

"What the fuck is this shit you're listening to?" Rachel asked as she came and stood next to me. She was wearing a blue strapless dress that was slightly shorter than mine with black stilettos and a black purse. Her hair was its usual poker straight self, except half was up and half was down. Her eyes were smoky, and her lips were coated with clear lip gloss.

"It's not shit; it's The Beach Boys," I said whilst giving her a small smile. "You look gorgeous."

"Thanks, you're looking pretty hot as well," she said as she turned to leave my room.

"There's wine in the fridge if you want some," I added before going back to applying my lipstick.

After I was satisfied with the way I looked, I walked into the living room area clutching my glass of wine with a broad smile across my features. The smile faded when I saw who was sitting in my living room with Rachel._ Great, just what I need._

Joe, Baggy and Billy were all sitting around the room. Joe, like usual, was sitting on the uncomfy chair, Baggy was sitting on one of the rickety stools, and Billy was on the couch, a cigarette hanging loosely from his lips.

Rachel was standing in the kitchen pouring herself a glass of wine, so I immediately, without acknowledging the guys, began to walk over to her, but I soon found Joe's arm wrapped around my small shoulders, walking towards Rachel with me.

"Wow, Trish, you are looking hot," Joe exclaimed. "Do you know the one thing that could make you look hotter?" he said with a devilish grin.

"And what's that?" I asked whilst taking a sip of my wine and trying to be oblivious to the fact that Billy was yet again sitting in my living room, and yet again watching me with his intense eyes.

"You, minus that dress, in my bed," Joe said with a small smirk.

I went to say something but missed my chance when Billy spoke up.

"Joe, why don't you shut the fuck up," Billy raspy voice sent shivers down my spine. Joe then walked off, placed himself back in the chair, and began speaking to Baggy about something or other.

I walked over to Rachel and whispered through clenched teeth, "What are they doing here?" Billy was watching us intently, and like I always did, I avoided his gaze.

"Oh, they're giving us a lift to the club," she stated, speaking rather loudly.

"Can't we catch a cab?" I quietly asked again.

"No, this is a free ride, and like you said, we are limited on cash, so we gotta take the offer." I rolled my eyes, then realised that I didn't even know what club we were going to.

"What club are we going to anyway?" I said as I brushed a loose curl out of my face.

"Oh, this club my friend works at. It's called Shanai or something like that," she said as she took a sip of the sweet white wine. _Shanai? Maybe its…_

"Do you mean 'Shanghai'?" I asked.

"That's it - how d'ya know?"

"My ex boyfriend's dad owns that club," I stated dully. Shanghai was not glamorous, ritzy or elegant. It was a run-down old club that Zack's dad only bought because it was becoming popular and by him purchasing it he could make sure it remained dull, tacky and obsolete. Zack and I used to go down there to party when we wanted it to be just the two of us as we knew our circle of 'friends' wouldn't be there.

"Really?" I could see in the corner of my eye Billy lighting himself another cigarette.

"Yeah, well at least we'll get in free now. I know the doormen," I said . I really was not looking forward to the car ride there.

After another ten minutes of sitting in the apartment with light conversation, none between Billy and I, we all left so that they could drop Rachel and me off at the club. I sat in the back with Rachel and Joe. He was quite thrilled to be sitting in the middle of us, and now and again he would place his rough hands on one of our legs, only for it to be swatted away instantly.

I really didn't feel comfortable being in Billy Darley's car. I mean I didn't feel comfortable around the man himself, let alone trapped in the back of his ridiculously loud engine car. I kept my head down and only spoke when I was spoken to. I really couldn't wait until we arrived.

He kept looking at me through his mirror, which made my nerves rise to the point where I thought I was just going to scream at him to let me out of the car. _Stop looking at me. If only he knew what his gaze does to me._

The speed he was driving at didn't help my nerves either. I was in constant fear that we were going to crash, and with every screech of the brakes I wondered how long it would be until they broke completely.

Within ten minutes we had reached our destination, and Billy had parked in a small car park across the street. Baggy got out and lifted the seat forward so Rachel could step out. I was expecting Joe to get out so I could do the same because if he didn't I'd have to basically climb over him to get out.

"Are you gonna move ?" I asked Joe, who had his usual smile covering his face. Billy had made no effort to get out and lift the seat forward for me, and I could see him watching me and Joe in the back through the mirror.

"Just climb over me," he said. I gave him a forced smile, and just as I was about to climb over him and have to grind my arse against his crotch, Billy got out of the car and roughly threw forward the seat in front of me.

Without a word, I got out and began to straighten my dress out. Rachel was talking to Baggy around the other side of the car, so I just stood there awkwardly next to Billy.

He dug deep into his pockets and pulled out a cigarette, which he placed between his lips before he lit it. He took a long drag before walking over to the car hood and leaned against it.

I glanced over my shoulder to notice there was a small cue outside, wouldn't be in it longer than five minutes, but then I saw Trey, my favourite doorman, standing there, looking as serious as ever. He was dressed all in black - black dress trousers and a tight fitting black top. He had dark skin and a shaved head, was about 6'2, and weighed about 300 pounds. But I knew he was a soft teddy bear and would never dream of hurting someone intentionally.

"Rach, can we go? It's freezing," I said whilst wrapping my arms around myself.

"Okay, okay," she walked over to me, adjusted her dress then flashed the guys a huge smile. "Well?"

"Well what?" Baggy replied dryly.

"How do we look?" I couldn't help but roll my eyes; this was the last thing I wanted. Billy stood there, his eyes fixed on us. His face seemed expressionless as he inhaled the nicotine.

"You look like you need to get you arse in that club," Baggy replied whilst taking out a cigarette for himself. Joe was sitting in the back of the car now on the phone to his latest girlfriend and took no notice of the four of us outside the car.

Rachel let out a huff before replying, "I'll call you later. Thanks for the ride, Billy." She then grabbed my wrist and dragged me out of the parking lot.  
We crossed the road with caution and made it over to the cue. Rachel went to go to the back, but I grabbed her hand and walked to the front to see Trey.

"Hey Trey," I said with a huge smile across my face. Trey was a true sweetheart, and his hard, morose face turned into a wide smile when he saw me.

"Trish! Where've you been girl?" he said in his ultra camp voice as he leaned down to give me a kiss on the cheek and hug. I wrapped my arms around his neck and enjoyed his warm friendly embrace.

"I finished with Zack a few months ago. This is my friend, Rachel," I said as I nodded towards the pretty blonde standing next to me.

He took her hand and raised it to his lips. "Such a pretty face," he said with a genuine smile. Just then some guy from the cue shouted something that made Trey instantly retaliate. "What the fuck did you just say? You say that again, and I will fuck you up!" He had his hand now pointed at the man, and his voice was strong, deep and manly.

"Been practicing that menacing voice for a while now, huh?" I laughed.

"Yeah, you'd almost think I'm straight," he said with a small chuckle. "Well, I'm glad you got rid of the boss man. You can do a lot better than that guy."

"How's Gerry?" I asked, genuinely wondering how Trey's long term boyfriend was.

"He's great. He's working tonight." Gerry was a glass collector at the club. "So you ready to go in?" he asked. We both nodded in reply.

He then leaned over and opened the big black door so we could enter, which the people in the cue didn't like at all. They all let out miserable groans as we walked straight past the cue and inside. As I turned around to say thank you to Trey, I noticed only then Billy's car was screeching its way out of the parking lot.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The music boomed out of the speakers, and everyone was on the dance floor, including myself and Rachel. We had been in the club for over two hours and were having the time of our lives. The barman that Rachel knew from school actually turned out to be a barmaid. She just said she was male to get at Tommy, but she provided us with many free drinks, and we were both happily drunk by now.

After dancing nonstop for about half an hour, Rachel and I staggered off the dance floor, hysterically laughing because of two ugly forty plus guys had come dancing around us and tried to make a Rachel and Trish sandwich. We quickly escaped and decided it was time for another drink.

We stood by the bar and Rachel's friend came over to serve us. She was tall with short spiky ginger hair and a really small, pretty, delicate face.

"Two shots of flaming Sambuca, Cat," Rachel yelled over the music. Soon, the tall red head placed two of the shot glasses on the bar, filled them with Sambuca, added the Curacao, placed a beer mat over each of the shots (allowing the fumes to gather), and lit the two shots on fire. Rachel and I downed the shots, flame and all.

We both coughed and grimaced, and I could see Rachel fanning her eyes to stop them from watering. After we recovered, we both got a beer and stood by the bar whilst we drank them.

We watched the people around the smoky club, but it was hard to see as the only bright lights were by the bar and the entrance.

"Oh la la, look at those hotties by the door," Rachel said whilst making sexy eyes at the group of men who had just walked in. There were four of them, and they must have seen Rachel making eyes at them because they casually strolled over.

"So much for 'the only guy for me is Tommy,'" I said, mimicking her words from earlier on in the night.

"One may window shop." We both laughed as the men came, stood near us, and ordered themselves drinks. Two walked off towards the dance floor, but two stayed by the bar. They were both around 5'11. One had short brown hair with a strong jaw, and the other had short blonde hair. The more I looked at him, the more I recognised him. I was sure he was in high school with me.

The two men walked over to us, both with dazzling smiles on their faces, and stopped in front of us before speaking.

"Can I get you beautiful ladies a drink?" the brown haired one asked.

"No, but you can come and dance with me," a drunken Rachel said whilst batting her eyelashes. I knew full well that all she wanted with this man was a dance, and I knew her fidelity belonged to Tommy. She was just having fun.

Right away, the guy took her hand, and she led him to the dance floor, leaving me with the blonde guy. He was wearing a tight black shirt with the top few buttons open, revealing necklace with a shark's tooth on it, and some black jeans.

"So do you want a drink?" he asked politely.

"Sure." He ordered me another beer, and we sat and drank silently for awhile, just watching Rachel and the other guy dance. It was amusing to watch as every time the guy with brown hair tried to put his arms around her, she would dance away from him, only for him to follow her.

"Do I know you from somewhere? You seem really familiar," he said breaking the silence. I already knew who he was; I remembered him from high school.

"Yeah, we went to high school together. Travis, right?" I slurred.

"That's where I know you from! Terrie – no, Trish, right?" I nodded in reply and smiled up at him. "Yeah, you used to be friends with Alex. I was on the football team with him."

"Yeah, if I remember correctly, you told him that football players didn't hang out with people like me, and that he should ditch me and Chelle," I said drunkenly.

"I was a dick in high school," he stated before shaking his head and taking a swig of his beer.

"Uh-huh," I nodded my head. "I fuckin' hated you." You know what they say, the truth comes out when you're drunk.

"I wasn't too keen on you either, darlin'." We were both smiling at each other now and looking at each other intently. "You'd either be reading whilst the other girl who was always with you would be drawing, or you'd be running your mouth off at the jocks that you disliked, like me."

"I never ran my mouth off unless I had a reason. You know sometimes you jocks were such assholes - you made my friend, Chelle, cry so many times," I said, lightly tapping his chest with my finger.

He took a deep breath and sighed. He clearly regretted his behaviour in high school. "I'm sorry about that. But people can change, right?"

"Yeah, I guess," I said sweetly. Just then, Rachel came running over and dragged me to the dance floor, saying how she loved the song that was on.

It was "Lap dance" by NERD, and almost instantly, she started dancing next to me as the chorus came on.

_Oooh baby, you want me?  
Oooh baby, you want me?  
Oooh baby, you want me?  
Well you can get this lap dance here for free._

I danced with Travis after Rachel had headed to the bar with the brown haired man, and after dancing to three lively dance songs, a song we both disliked came on.

"I hate this song!" I yelled over the music at Travis.

"Yeah me too, you wanna go find the other two?" I nodded in reply and we both headed towards the bar. Rachel and the brown haired man stood there drinking and Rachel smiled broadly when she saw myself and Travis heading her way.

"I got you a drink," Rachel said handing me a glass of something that smelt disgusting.

"What is this?" I asked holding the glass up in the air.

Rachel flung some of her blonde hair over her shoulder before answering. "Its Cat's special mixed drink, me and Steve have had one. There disgusting, a real challenge."

I nodded in reply and began to quickly drink the revolting drink.

"That was easy, I could drink another one of them," I said arrogantly as I finished the drink. Rachel raised her eyebrows and called for Cat to make another one.

This time the drink was bigger and tasted even more disgusting but I manged to finish it after five minutes.

"Uch what was in that?" I asked before trying to drown the taste out of my mouth with beer.

"Sambuca, vodka, beer, tequila and whiskey!" Rachel said, my mouth opened wide when I heard that whiskey was in the drink.

"Whiskey?" Rachel nodded at me. "Rach you ive told you what I get like after whiskey."

"Oh live a little," she said nonchalantly.

With that she walked off to the dance floor, where I quickly followed her.We continued dancing for some time and talking to the two men, Travis seemed like a pretty nice guy. We ended up swapping numbers, but I doubted anything would come of it.

At around 1:30a.m., Rachel was holding my hand and leading me out of the bar. She had just gotten off the phone with Tommy, and apparently they were outside waiting for us.

We pushed our way out and stumbled onto the street, both laughing and clutching one another, trying to keep either of us from falling.

"Trey," I said triumphantly as if I had been looking for him forever. He walked over to me and pulled me into a quick embrace and kissed my cheek. _TREY TREY TREY!_

"Now don't you stay a stranger now, ya hear?" he said as he went and embraced Rachel and kissed her on the cheek. "It was a pleasure to meet you Rachel, and I hope to see you around again," he genuinely said.

"You got it," she said and then started dragging me towards the car park where Billy's car was parked. He was standing, leaning on the hood of the car and smoking a cigarette like he had been earlier on in the night, except this time Joe and Tommy were standing with him.

We crossed the road, both smiling broadly and laughing about the night we'd had. Our arms were linked to help each other, and by the time we crossed the road and got to the parking lot, we had both taken off our stilettos, complaining that they hurt too much and were walking bare foot.

"And - and that girl who came on to you! Ha-ha, that was so fuckin' funny!" Rachel laughed.

"Ha-ha," I continued to laugh along with Rachel.

"What's so funny?" Joe asked as we got near them.

"Some girl was coming on to Trish all night! Ha-ha, and Trish gave her her fuckin' number," Rachel basically yelled. Tommy's eyes were narrowed on her as she waved her hands about drunkenly.

"I couldn't say no! She was hot though, maybe I'll turn for her," I laughed whilst digging through my bag for a cigarette.

"I'd like to see that," Joe piped in. I pulled out a cigarette but couldn't find a lighter, so I stumbled over to Billy and drunkenly smiled up at him.

"Hey, have you got a light?" I asked whilst trying to find my balance. He didn't reply - just handed me his lighter, which I accepted and lit my cigarette.

"You have a good night?" I could hear Tommy asking Rachel.

"I'll have a better night when we get home," she slurred loudly enough for everyone to hear. She was smiling up at Tommy, and after an awkward glance at Billy, he slowly guided her to the car, which she got in.

Joe then got in after her, so I threw my cigarette to the ground, stumbled over to the car door, and climbed into the seat next to Joe.

Right away, Billy and Tommy jumped in, and we quickly sped off. Soon we were back in a run-down neighbourhood. We pulled up outside an apartment block that was a lot larger than mine, though it looked a lot more run down.

Tommy turned around to let Rachel know that they were there, and I could see a large grin appear on her face.

"Thanks for a great night, babe," she said as she leaned over and gave me a quick peck on my lips. As we both pulled away, Joe spoke.

"Don't stop there," he said seriously. We both laughed and slapped him lightly on the chest. Then Tommy pulled forward the front seat for her to get out.

"Enjoy your night, you two," I said as she left the car. Joe got out of the back and jumped in the front with Billy. "I love this song," I squealed as we drove off.

I started singing along to "Four Sticks" by Led Zeppelin, occasionally forgetting the words.

"And when the owls cry in the night  
Oh, baby, baby, when the pines begin to cry,

Baby, baby, baby, how do you feel?" Joe was now looking at me with a broad grin on his face, and I think he was trying to stifle a laugh.

"What?" I asked him, before humming along to the song.

"I gotta' spend more fuckin' time with drunk Trish. She's a lot more laid back than normal Trish," he said with a large smile.

"Ha-ha, and drunk Joe is a sleaze, who can't keep his hands to himself," I said lightly before turning my head to Billy. "How's Becky?" _Becky - been around the block Becky._

He didn't reply - just kept his eyes on the road, and he annoyingly drummed his fingers on the steering wheel.

I let out a long sigh before I spoke again.

"Was Trigger 'working' tonight?" I asked, but I used air quotes when I said the word working.

I could see Billy's grip tighten on the steering wheel; I think he saw me using the air quotes.

"Yeah, he's gone over to some Violet's place for the night," Joe replied.

Before I could reply Billy pulled up to some run down looking house. I leaned forward and furrowed my eyebrows.

"Where are we?" I asked. I didn't care though. They could have been leading me to my death, and I wouldn't have cared. I had whiskey in my system, and after I have whiskey im basically a different person.

"Got to make a late night call to my girl," Joe said with a wicked grin on his face. He then got out of the car and pushed the seat forward so I could get out and get in the front.

I was completely unfazed about being in the car alone with Billy. Alcohol seems to do that to some people, makes them fearless of something that they should be terrified about, for me its whiskey that makes me like that. I should have been petrified about being in a car alone with Billy, but I wasn't. I was pleased about it.

As soon as I slammed the door shut, Billy sped off, and an awkward silence filled the car.

"Why did you beat up that guy in the bar the other night?" I blurted out, bringing it up again although I doubted he would tell me.

"Why the fuck do you care?" he asked seriously. I let out a huff before speaking.

"I'm not even going to bother to try and talk to you or be civil," I said angrily as I held my hands up in defeat. "I mean, I'm trying to be civil, and you're the one that fucking used me!" _Asshole, Asshole, Asshole. _Like I said, my thoughts about him changed like the wind.

"What?" he said as he looked at me. I didn't bother to reply; I knew he had heard me the first time. He pulled up at a red light, grabbed himself a cigarette, and placed it between his lips before speaking again. "I didn't fuckin' use you." His voice was harsh. _Oh baby, you can use me whenever you like. _

"Uh-huh," I then placed my feet up on the dashboard so that my long legs were on show. "I think you're lying, because supposedly I'm not a good lay," I said with a smile on my face, the whiskey had really got to me. Billy smirked and continued to drive, but I could see him looking at my legs in the corner of his eye. I leaned forward and seductively whispered, "But we both know that's not true."

We continued to drive in a comfortable silence for a few minutes before we pulled up outside of my apartment building. I smiled at him before leaning over to the backseat where my shoes were placed and grabbing them.

"Thanks for the ride," I said, my voice barely audible. I leaned in slowly to give him a "thank you" kiss. I knew if he returned it, it would turn into more, and I slowly raised my head so that my lips would meet his, but then he pulled back, and looked straight ahead.

I looked at him with a shocked expression covering my face.

I'd seen him looking at me before and after I'd been to the club - looking at my legs with the same glazed over with lust eyes he'd had the night we slept together - so why was he pulling back?

"You're drunk," his raspy voice said before taking a long drag of his cigarette.

I grabbed my purse and instantly started rummaging through it looking for my keys. "Whatever." I continued searching but to no avail. "Would you just find my keys?" I practically yelled as I tossed my bag at him. _Asshole. Asshole!_

His jaw was clenched, and he tilted his head to the side slightly before looking through my bag. His nostrils were flaring, and now I know that was a sign he was getting angry - I didn't then.

"Your keys aren't fuckin' in here," he said ruthlessly. _What?_


	7. The morning after

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Death Sentence, I only own people you don't recognize.**

**A/N I've put pictures up on my profile of who I see roughly as Trish and Trigger, go and check it out.**

**Thanks to my amazing beta ****Wisery, ****and to everyone who reviewed.**

**I apologize if any of you feel Billy's abit OOC in this chap, im not sure though let me now.**

**Please review. :D**

I began to stir, so I continued to snuggle into the pillow my face was pressed into, hoping to fall back into a deep slumber. It smelled different, but I was too tired to even notice and just continued to lie there half awake. I suddenly realised that my bladder was so full that it felt like it was going to explode. _Bah!_

I got up, eyes still closed tightly as I was still in a light sleep, and walked towards the bathroom. I hit my head against something hard and fell to the floor with a thump. _Ouch!_

My eyes opened slightly, and I realised that I had walked into a wall. _Where the fuck did the wall come from?_

"Aw," I said as I rose to my feet with my hand placed on the area where I'd banged my head. My eyes were slits as they adjusted to the light, but they opened wide when I realised whose smiling faces I was looking at.

The light burned my eyes, but I didn't care. All I cared about was that Baggy and Joe were sitting in front of me on an old, ripped black leather sofa, stifling laughs. I was in gritty living room/kitchen that was a set out slightly like my apartment but on a larger scale, the living room was separated from the kitchen by a round wooden table that only had two chairs placed under it but there was room for at least four.The living room was practically bare except for the TV, sofa and coffee table (that was covered in soda cans, beer bottles and dirty ashtrays) and from what I could see the kitchen sink was filled with unwashed dishes and lots of empty or half empty liquor bottles on the kitchen unit.

I looked down to see that I was wearing a pair of boxer shorts and a black wife beater, which made me scrunch my face up in confusion.

"Where am I?" My question was answered for me when Billy walked out of what I presumed to be the bathroom, wrapped in just a white towel, his silver cross necklace bouncing off his broad chest with every step he took.

My eyes followed him as he strutted into the kitchen, and my eyes stayed on him as he turned his back to me and casually got himself a piece of cold pizza from the fridge. My eyes began to wander down his back, looking at the tribal tattoos that came down from his neck onto his shoulders and then winding down both of his strong muscular arms.

I looked away quickly when he turned around and placed my attention back onto to Baggy and Joe, who were still looking at me smiling.

"Where's your sister?" I asked, praying that this was in fact Baggy and Rachel's apartment and Billy's shower had broken or something.

"At home with her head down the toilet," Baggy replied. I opened my mouth to say something but was cut off by Joe.

"You locked yourself out, so Billy brought you back here."_ Fuck. _Billy then walked over and sat down on the couch next to Baggy before eyeing me suspiciously.

"What?" his gruff voice asked before he took a bite of his pizza. It seemed I had been watching him intently as he made his way over to the couch.

"Uhh, could I use your bathroom?" I asked, remembering why I had even gotten up. He just nodded towards the room he had earlier appeared from.

I quickly scurried into the room and closed the door tightly behind me, leaning against it and taking a few deep breaths for a moment or two.

The room was covered in faded white tiles from the floor to the walls. The bathroom didn't have a bath - only a shower, a small sink and a toilet. After using the toilet and washing my hands, I looked up at the mirror. My hair was a tangled mess of curls/waves, and my eye makeup was all smudged. Overall, I looked like I'd had a pretty rough night.

I washed away my smudged make-up and looked around for a brush. _Why would there be a brush?_ I asked myself a few moments later. I then heard my phone start ringing and hurried out of room to get it before they could.

As I re-entered the living room, I saw Joe with my phone to his ear speaking.

"Listen lady, I fuckin' told ya she's…" he didn't get a chance to finish as I snatched the phone out of his hand and placed it to my ear.

"Hello?" I asked into the phone whilst glaring at Joe.

"_Trish, who was the vile man__…"_I cut the women's voice off.

"Mom? Why are you calling me?" I asked, genuinely curious. She hadn't called me since the day I'd left.

"She's been callin' all fuckin' mornin'," Joe added before my mother spoke.

"_Do I need a reason to call my daughter? Now who was that foul mouthed man who has been answering your phone all morning?__"_

Billy had gotten up now and walked into the room I assumed I had slept in as it was near the wall I'd walked into. _PLEASE DON__'__T BE HIS BEDROOM._

"If you're calling to see if I'm going wedding dress shopping with Anna, then I am," I said sharply, ignoring her original question.

Baggy and Joe then got up and walked towards the front door. I tried to get them to stop by mouthing "wait" as my mother spoke, but they just smirked and left.

"_I was wondering that, but that__'__s not why I called. Zack has been trying to call you. He says you__'__re avoiding his calls,__"_she said dryly.

"Yeah, so what if I am avoiding his calls? I've told him a thousand times already that it's over," I said as I looked at my chipped red nail polish.

"_I really think you__'__re being stupid. Why not give Zack another chance?__"_

I felt like I was going to explode with anger. The only reason she had phoned was another attempt to get me back with Zack.

"How many times do I have to fucking tell you, Zack and George that IT. IS .OVER BETWEEN ME AND ZACK! It's been months! Just leave it the fuck alone," I yelled before hanging up and letting out a loud groan.

When I turned around Billy was standing there, looking serious and wearing a pair of dark jeans and a dark top. As usual, he had a cigarette placed between his lips.

"Where's my dress?" I asked whilst tugging at the hem of the large wife beater I was wearing.

"In Joe's room." _WHAT? _My eyes were wide and my mouth slightly ajar. Billy saw this, and a small smirk appeared on his face. "You didn't fuck him." I let out a loud sigh of relief. "I told you to sleep in his room because he was out, but you crawled into my bed in the middle of the night," he said as he took drag of his cigarette. _Oh God, the fucking whiskey. I can__'__t believe Rachel tricked me into drinking it._

I let out a nervous giggle that slowly turned into an awkward groan and turned around to walk to Joe's room, then realised I didn't know where it was.

"Where is Joe's room?" I asked nervously.

He walked up to the door next to the bathroom and pushed it open, slowly brushing against me as he walked by.

I gave him a smile that said thank-you then closed the door tightly behind me so I could change.

The room was small, smaller than mine, and ridiculously untidy. There were clothes (and by the smell coming from the room I assumed dirty ones) thrown carelessly all over the floor, empty cigarette packets and beer bottles scattered everywhere. The walls were plain white but had a few posters of naked women on them. The single bed was placed up against a wall and had a small nightstand next to it. I saw my dress, heels, bag and underwear were thrown near the nightstand.

I walked over to it and began to change. When I was changed back into my red small backless dress I noticed the book on the floor with an ashtray next to it. My curiosity got the best of me, and I went over to take a look. I bent down and pulled the book over to me and was shocked to find it was _Romeo and Juliet._ I was shocked that Joe would have the book form of the romantic play as I always thought that he had NEVER read a book in his life, but all was made clear when I placed the book down and saw a class schedule!

I picked it up so I could inspect it more closely and was stunned to see that it read:

'Joseph Darley- Class schedule for Sophomore year 2000' _Huh- year 2000- thats this year!? That makes Joe like sixteen._

I put the class schedule down, picked up the boxers and shirt I had been wearing, and made my way back out of the bedroom, my heels clopping with every step I took.

Billy wasn't in the living room/kitchen or the bathroom, so I placed the shirt and boxers down on the couch and made my way into the bathroom. I placed some toothpaste on my finger, ran it briefly under the faucet, then began to rub against my teeth. So it wasn't the cleanest or best way to brush my teeth, but it was better than not brushing at all. .

I glanced up into the mirror and nearly had a heart attack when I saw Billy standing in the doorway.

"Shit, you almost gave me a heart attack," I said as I wiped away toothpaste from my mouth.

"I'll give you a ride home now. Do you want a drink or something?" he asked. His voice was quiet, and after he asked, he pulled out a cigarette packet, got one for himself and held the packet out for me to take one. I gratefully accepted one and said that a glass of water would be great.

"So how old is Joe?" I asked as he poured me a glass of water, his cigarette hanging from his lips.

"Sixteen. Why?" he asked, eyeing me suspiciously as I leaned against one of the kitchen counters.

"He told me he was nineteen," I said with a small smile on my lips.

A smirk appeard on his lips as he handed me the glass.

"Yeah, he does that a lot when there's an older hot chick about." I could feel my cheeks turning red. _God, why don__'__t I have a brush?_ I thought, suddenly feeling conscious of the mass of tangles on top of my head.

We sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes before I spoke.

"Thanks for letting me stay the night," I said sincerely. He stubbed out his cigarette in an ashtray and was about to speak when there was a bang at the door. Then another. It was nothing like a knock just two bangs. As he walked towards the door to open it, someone yelled from outside.

"Nazi, I know you're fuckin' in there!" The voice was very rough and gruff. As soon as Billy heard the voice, he turned around and quickly walked over to me. His jaw was clenched, and his eyes were hard. He grabbed the top of my arm and started to quickly pull me towards Joe's room. His grip was tight and was starting to hurt.

"Billy, you're hurting my…." I began to say but was cut off.

"Shut up and stay in there. Don't fuckin' come out," he said through clenched teeth. He then roughly pushed me into Joe's room and closed the door. I stood by the door, rubbing the top of my arm where Billy had gripped it when I heard him open the front door and loud footsteps entered.

"Where's my money?" the person who had been outside said.

"I was gonna bring it by later," I could hear Billy say. His voice was hard as nails.

"Well I.Want.It.Now. Is that okay with you, Billyboy?" the stranger said. His voice was just as hard as Billy's.

I could hear shuffling and someone walking around, which I presumed to be Billy getting the stranger's money. I walked across the room and sat on the edge of Joe's bed. On the nightstand there was a picture of a woman and two young boys. It was leaning against an empty beer bottle. I leaned in to get a better look at it and saw that the woman had brown hair and a small smile on her lips. The two boys must have been about ten and four. They were standing in a field with lots of trees behind them. I heard the front door slam, so I cautiously got up, walked over to the door, and opened it.

Billy was standing alone by the couch, his jaw still clenched. His eyes burned a hole right through me when saw me leave the bedroom.

"I thought I told you to fuckin' stay in there," he said. His nostrils were flaring, and he looked like he was going to explode with anger at any moment.

"I heard the guy leave so…." He didn't give me time to finish as he interrupted.

"C'mon, I'll take you fuckin' home," he said angrily, grabbing his brown trench coat and his keys and walking straight past me and out the door. I grabbed my phone from the kitchen and followed him out. He was standing in the apartment building hall way, waiting for me to leave. When I did, he locked his door and began taking long strides ahead of him, causing me to have to rush to keep up.

We got into a old and dangerous looking elevator and went down to the first floor. I took one look at the building after we'd left it and decided it was a piece of shit. It looked like it was about to fall to pieces at any moment and, like my apartment building, was covered with graffiti.

We got into his car, and he quickly sped off, his eyes constantly facing the road and his hand gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles were turning white.

"Who was that guy in your apartment earlier?" I asked trying to make conversation. It probably wasn't the best question to ask. He didn't reply - just kept his gaze on the road.

I let out a sigh of defeat, looked out the window and continued to do so for the rest of the journey. Within five minutes, we were outside my rough looking apartment building.

"Thanks," I said whilst smiling at his angry looking face. I turned around, and as my arm reached for the door handle, he grabbed my wrist, pulled me towards him, and pressed his lips against mine.

At first I was shocked, but then gave into the kiss, enjoying the feeling of lips against mine and the feeling of his unshaven chin and upper lip against my skin. The kiss was strong and powerful, and he cupped the back of my neck to hold me there. At first I wanted it to become more heated, then I realised it was a bad idea.

I pushed him away quickly, got out of the car, and rushed up into the apartment building, not taking one look back at him.

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"I'm dying. God is punishing me for drinking too much!" whined Rachel, her head placed in her hands.

Rachel had been sitting on one of the bar stools for over half an hour, trying to build up the confidence to serve a customer and go near alcohol. She was suffering a lot worse than I was.

"How are you not hung-over?" she asked, now raising her head to look at me. I was standing behind the bar, watching the blonde as she began massaging her temples.

"I am hung-over, just not as bad as you." I gave her a small smile. "Oh yeah, and thanks for leaving me in the car with Billy Darley last night. You know what happened last time I was drunk and alone with him, and thanks for giving me the whiskey,"I said sarcastically. I couldn't actually remember being in the car alone with Billy, but I knew I had been.God knows what I said. She stopped massaging her temples and looked directly at me, grinning broadly.

"Shut up. Joe was with you when I left, and you wanted it," she said.

"Wanted what?" I asked, genuinely curious to what she meant.

"Both. You wanted that whiskey mixed drink, and you wanted to be left alone with Billy," she said, raising her eyebrows at me.

"I did not want that whiskey," I said defending myself.

"Okay, but you wanted to be left alone with Billy," she said still grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"What? So? I mean-" She raised her eyebrows at me again. "I, no, whatever," I said before walking over to a man who had just entered and asking him what he'd like.

I walked back over to Rachel five minutes later to see her looking at my phone.

"I see Travis has been texting you," she said as she continued to look through my messages.

"Yeah, he texted me earlier, and we've been texting all day since," I said as I took my phone from her to look at it. "He asked me out already."

"Eager," Rachel said as she got up and began to come around the bar. "Are you going?"

"I don't know. He seems like a nice guy. But I just keep thinking of him as that dick that he was in high school."

"People change," she said as she went to serve a man at the bar, but as soon as a strong whiff of alcohol entered her nasal passages she began to heave and ran off to the toilet.

"Sorry about that. What can I get you?" I said to the man who Rachel had began serving.

As I got the man his drink, Joe walked in alone and came and sat by the bar, his signature grin plastered across his face.

"Trish, can I get a beer?" Joe asked as I put some change into the till.

"No," I said simply. "How about a nice glass of Coke?"

"What?" he asked confused.

"You're too young. I won't serve sixteen year olds," I said, emphasizing the word sixteen.

"You served me when you thought I was nineteen," he said, still grinning widely.

"Nineteen is different than sixteen." He began to tug at his ear before speaking again.

"Fine. I'll take a glass of Coke while I wait for my brother to get here." My body stiffened when I heard that Billy was coming. My eyes had narrowed at Joe, and I could see his grin becoming wider. "I can see you blushing there at the sound of Billy's name."

"I'm not blushing," I said as I went and got him a glass of Coke.

"Don't worry. I mean you were wrapped around him last night," he said grinning widely.

"What?" _Huh?_

"Yeah, I came in to get some cigs, and you had your leg thrown over him and your arm."

"Whatever," I said trying to shake his comment off. "I don't believe you."

He flashed me a wide grin and took his nonalcoholic drink over to the table the gang usually sat at. Rachel soon reappeared, and after emptying her stomach of all of its contents, she felt much better. So I took some time to myself to begin to read the awful book I had been told to read by the following Monday for my Lit class.

I was sitting at the end of the bar, my head buried in the dreadfully boring book when Billy Darley walked in. He didn't look at me - just walked straight over to his brother and whispered something in his ear that resulted in Joe getting up and walking out of the bar, slowly followed by Billy.

As he got nearer, he looked in my direction, and as I looked back at him, I noticed his jaw was clenched. He gave me a horrible look. If looks could kill, I'd be pushing up daisies right now.

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I pulled my jacket tighter around myself as I walked the five blocks home. It was really cold, and the wind was fierce, making my hair blow in all directions. As I came down the road, three men, who were standing there, noticed me and started shouting obscenities.

I quickly turned to cross the road when one of the men walked up to me and lightly grabbed my arm.

"Hey baby, where you goin'?" he asked, his left nostril covered in dry blood and small specks of white powder. He had a mop of blonde hair that blew in the wind and grey eyes.

"Home," I said as I pulled my arm away from him and walked across the road. They continued shouting obscenities until the man who had grabbed me returned to the other two men. They stopped shouting then.

I continued to swiftly walk along the sidewalk. I glanced back and saw the three men now walking behind me, calling for me to stop, and I started jogging down the street. Only to my dismay, this caused them to start running, which made me start running in a full sprint. _Oh my god. Oh my god! _

Unfortunately, I was carrying a bag filled with books, which ultimately weighed about twenty eight pounds and slowed me down. If it was any other bag, I would have just thrown it and gone back for it later. But I couldn't risk it with what I had in that bag: a paper which was due on Monday that had taken me two weeks to write, and I'd already had two extensions on it. So it was a too much of a risk to just dump my bag.

As I turned a corner, I turned around to see if the men were still in pursuit, and to my horror, they were very close behind me. As I had my head turned to look at them, I didn't see the bag of trash in my path, which I then tripped over, causing me to fall roughly onto the sidewalk.

The three men circled me, and the one who had grabbed me earlier grabbed my hair and aggressively pulled me off the ground by it, making me yelp in pain, and threw me into a dark doorway so passing cars could not see us, but we could see them.

"We told you to stop," one of the men said, who had black hair and looked and smelt like he hadn't washed in days. "And you didn't." He then roughly pushed me up against the wall, where the other two men held me as the man with black hair picked up my bag (which was on the floor) and began to rifle through it.

My eyes burned now, and the first tear fell. I was so scared. I didn't know what they were going to do. Their fingers dug into my arms

"Please, let go of my arms. You're hurting me," I said before sniffling. The three men laughed, and the one who looking through my bag dropped it and came and stood in front of me. He bent down so his face was inches away from mine.

I let out a whimper, and the two men who were holding me laughed and tightened their grips on me. I could feel my lip quivering.

"They hurtin' ya?" the black haired man asked. It was a rhetorical question, but I nodded in reply, trying to fight back the sobs. "Well I'm gonna hurt ya even more. Who knows, you may even fuckin like it!" he said before slapping the back of his hand hard across my cheek. My head flew to the left by the impact of the hit, and I could see at the other end of the street, across the road. Bodie was standing on the corner facing us, his eyes narrowed, I'm assuming because he could hear us.

As soon as I saw him, I began shouting for help.

"Help, Bodie!" I yelled before the dark hair man forced his dirty hand over my mouth. Bodie beckoned for someone who was standing around corner before he started jogging towards me. The men saw him coming, and the two who were holding me instantly let go and took off. But the dark haired one slapped me again, pushed me to the ground, and kicked me in the stomach before taking off.

I began to push myself up when Bodie stopped in front of me and helped me up. As I looked up, I could see Billy making his way down the street and then abruptly stopping in front of us.

"Trish?" Bodie asked as he pulled me out of the dark, obviously recognising me.

"Yeah," I said before spitting blood out of my mouth. "Thanks," I said as he let go of me.

"Are you okay? Who were those guys?" Bodie questioned as I placed my hand to my stinging cheek and looking up to see Billy staring at me blankly with his jaw clenched. His eyes were cutting through me, and his nostrils were flaring. He walked over to the corner and looked around it, seeing if the men were nearby.

"I'm okay. I don't know - some junkies, I think," I said as I leaned down to pick up my bag, which I instantly regretted as my stomach ached from the kick.

Bodie walked off and joined Billy, looking around the corner, but clearly the men weren't there as they stalked back over to me.

I wiped away the tears that were streaming down my face and then tried to compose myself, trying to put on a smile when Bodie and Billy walked over to me.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Bodie asked.

"Uh-huh," I said whilst wiping away a stray tear. Bodie just cocked an eyebrow, and Billy was staring at me fiercely, his jaw still clenched. "I'm gonna get going. Thanks again," I said before turning around to leave.

"I'll take her," Billy's husky voice said. I turned around and gave him a small weak smile. I was relieved that I wouldn't have to walk home alone after what had happened. I was still really shaken up, and it meant a lot to me that he'd offered to take me home.

The three of us walked down the littered street and headed around the corner, where I had first seen Bodie. Billy's car was parked nearby, and as we headed towards it, Billy told Bodie to carry on working whilst he took me home.

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We were only in the car for about a minute as we drove the remaining three blocks to my apartment. During that time the tears stopped falling, and I realised that I felt safe with Billy sitting next to me. _Safe with Billy Darley? Yeah that makes sense._

As he turned off his rumbling engine, I turned towards him and watched as he annoyingly tapped the silver rings he wore on the steering wheel.

"Thanks," I said softly.

"For what?" his raspy voice asked. He had turned to face me now, and both our eyes were focused on the others.

"For everything," I said, meaning taking me home then and earlier in the day, coming over with Bodie when I called for help, and allowing me to stay at his place when I locked myself out."Do you want to come up for a little bit?" I didn't want to be on my own yet, and I knew Trigger wouldn't be home. I didn't expect him to come up. I mean, after all, I had pushed him away when he had kissed me earlier in the day, but he did agree to come up and with that we both made our way up to my apartment.

I walked into my apartment and turned the lights on before going into the bathroom and looking at my face. My eye make-up was smudged, and my mascara had run down my cheeks. I had a nice red handprint on my left cheek, and my arms and stomach were already bruising.

I found myself redoing my make-up up, which made me question myself on why I had invited Billy up. Did I invite him purely because I didn't want to be alone? Or was it because of something else?

When I walked out of the bathroom I saw Billy sitting on my couch, cigarette in one hand. He was rubbing the back of his bald head with his other hand. I went over to my fridge, got two beers out, headed over to him and handed him one. I then lit myself a cigarette and sat on the couch near Billy.

"What were those guys going to do to you?" he asked as he took a drag of his cigarette.

"I don't know. They were off their faces on drugs. They probably didn't even know what they were going to themselves," I said before taking a swig of my beer. "Anyway I don't wanna talk about that."

"What do you want to talk about?" Before I could answer he spoke again. "You should put something on that cheek." He then got up and walked over to the kitchen, where he ran a cloth under the cold tap and then returned to sit next to me. He then leaned over and put the cold cloth to my cheek, which made me wince. He held it there for a few seconds before I raised my hand and held it there myself.

He leaned back, took another drag of his cigarette, and smiled a small smile.

"So do you always crawl into guys' beds and wrap yourself around them?" he asked. I could feel my cheeks flushing with embarrassment.

"I had whiskey, and I should never have whiskey. It makes me do stupid things that I always regret." I could see his form stiffen, and his demeanor instantly changed from the calm one he had been giving off since I'd sat down to a frightening one. I then realised it had sounded like I was referring to the night we spent together when I spoke about the whiskey. _Shit! _"No, I didn't mean it like that," I said as he leaned forward, took the last drag of his cigarette, and put it out in the ashtray.

"Don't worry about it," he said, but his voice sounded really pissed off. Then he sniffed and rubbed under his nose. He then stood up and went to walk away. "I'll see ya around."

"Wait," I said as I stood up, and to my surprise, he stopped. He didn't turn around, but he stopped. I walked towards him, and when I was standing next to him, he snapped his head so he was looking at me. His eyes cut through me like a knife would have, and all of a sudden, I wanted to kiss him and for him to look at me with the lust filled eyes he had the first night we had slept together. _Seriously Trish you are going crazy._

I stood in front of him and looked up at him. He was a good seven inches taller than me, and when he looked down at me with his icy blue eyes, I knew I had invited him up not because I didn't want to be alone, but because I wanted to be _with _him.

Whilst looking up into his stunning eyes and him looking into my chocolate brown ones, I leaned up (I was standing on tip-toes) and kissed him lightly on the lips. He didn't respond though. I pulled away and looked deep into his eyes before I leaned in and kissed him again. This time he responded, and when I pulled away, I couldn't help but smile. My stomach was doing flips, and my emotions were running wild. I was happy he'd kissed me back, but I was also angry at myself for kissing him, for wanting to kiss him. But that didn't matter at that precise moment.

Billy had a small smirk on his face when I leaned up to kiss him again, but this time he leaned down a bit to make the kiss come quicker. This time the kiss was powerful, passionate, and full lust.

I broke away from him, took his hand, and slowly led him towards my bedroom, not thinking about anything except being with him again.

**A/N Please review :)**


	8. Realization

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Sentence or any characters from, I only own people you don't recognize.**

**Thanks to all the people who reviewed and adding this to their alerts, and favourites list. And a massive thanks to my awesome beta Wisery.**

**Please leave a review.**

"Mmmm, Billy," I moaned as Billy sucked down the curve of my neck and then placed passionate kisses up my neck and back down to my chest. We were lying on my bed - me lying flat on my back, Billy on top of me, his elbows propping him up. I was lying in just my underwear, and Billy had his top removed, revealing his muscular tattooed torso. I felt him about to go and undo my bra; I gave him a small smirk and pushed him back until he rolled on his back. I climbed on top so I was straddling him. "Not yet, Darley," I said whilst shaking my head and looking at his icy blue eyes and the sexy smirk he was giving me.

I glanced over at the clock and noticed it was five thirty. _Shit! _I quickly jumped off Billy and the bed and started frantically looking through my clothes for something to wear to the respectable posh restaurant I was going to with my sister.

"Shit," I mumbled as I slipped on a black spaghetti dress.

"What the fuck are you doin'?" he asked, now leaning on his side and watching me quickly put on my black stilettos.

"I'm meant to be meeting my sister in like ten minutes!" I said as I jumped quickly in front of the mirror and started to fix my straight hair.

Billy sat up, ran his hand across his face, and sniffed before coming over and standing behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and beginning to kiss my neck. "Meet her tomorrow," his coarse voice whispered in my ear. Although it was a whisper, I knew it was a command - a command that I was going to have to disobey.

I shrugged him off me before walking over to my bag and checking that everything I needed was in it. "It's Christmas day tomorrow. She's spending it with her fiancé's family." He let out a grunt as I tossed his grey T-shirt at him.

Billy and I had been sleeping together for the past two months. It was supposed to be just fantastic no-strings sex.

After the night I got attacked and ended up sleeping with Billy, I had tried to avoid him - resist him when he'd turn up at my apartment knowing that Trigger wasn't there, but after two weeks of attempting to resist and failing, I gave up. It was just sex, right?

Nobody except me and Billy knew about it though. It was like an unspoken agreement between us that we'd keep it between ourselves. After all, I didn't want to be associated with or be a part of a gang lifestyle.

Although we were sleeping together, I had no doubt in my mind that Billy was still sleeping with other women too. I had seen him with other women at the bar when he was drunk, and at first I thought he was doing it to get at me for some strange reason, but I soon realised that was not the case when I continued to see him with other women even though I hadn't reacted to it at all.

At first I was annoyed that he was openly with these women in front of me (although I promised myself that I wouldn't let on. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction), and a small pang of jealously erupted in me when I saw him with these random sluts, but like I said Billy and I had mind-blowing no-strings sex, not a relationship.

But the last few times I had seen him with other women not only had I felt my usual annoyance and wave of jealously, I was also felt hurt and angry. These feelings continued to swim around inside of me every morning (after he had turned up the night before) when I'd wake up to find my bed empty and when we'd 'meet up' in the day. He'd literally get up and leave ten minutes after _finishing,_ leaving me to wonder why I had declined the offer to go out with Travis and instead was used as basically a gang lord's booty call. Although at that time I would never admit it. Billy was _my _booty call I'd tell myself over and over again.

But that didn't stop it from hurting any less when I'd see him with other women or when he'd up and leave without even saying so much as a goodbye, leaving me lying there to stare blankly at the closed door he'd just left through.

Rachel was convinced that I was developing feelings for him (she had come to this conclusion because of the glares I shot at him when he was with other women - little did she know I was sleeping with him). I disagreed with her; wanting the person who you are so intimately close with to acknowledge your presence and not rub in that he's sleeping with other women as well as you does not mean you have feelings for such person. It means you want to be given a little respect, right?

"Billy, stop," I said firmly as he began to kiss my 'sensitive' spot just under my ear and hold onto my waist from behind me tightly. I knew what he was trying to do; he was trying to get me to stay, but I wasn't going to give in. My sister was far more important than something I got off him at least two to three times a week anyway.

"Fine. Fuck it," he said with his voice that was filled with attitude as he roughly put his grey T-shirt over his head and pulled out a cigarette.

"Can you give me a ride?" I asked, looking at him through the mirror. He stared at my reflection for a few moments and took a drag of his cigarette before replying.

"I've got shit to do," his raspy voice said. He then began to shrug on his brown trench coat.

My mouth was wide before I spoke. I had never asked him for anything before, and now he was acting pissy because he didn't get laid. "You didn't have shit to do when you thought you were gonna get laid!" I continued to stare at him through the mirror before turning around to look at him my mouth still an O-shape. "Fine, I'll call Trigger and ask him to give me a ride."

"He's working," he said before walking out of my bedroom. I followed him into the scarcely decorated living room. Trigger and I had only a small amount of money to buy decorations, so we had a small tree with some white lights on it and that was it.

"Fine, I'll call a cab." He didn't say anything - just continued strutting towards my front door until he had left. I was truly angry at this point. How dare he get annoyed because I was meeting my sister instead of sleeping with him? He knew how me seeing my sister was a big deal as I didn't really have any other family I was going to see over Christmas. I wasn't even that close to Trigger anymore - he was always 'working' or with Violet.

I followed Billy out into the apartment complex hallway, where I could see him casually strutting through. "Fuck you!" I yelled, not being able to hold my anger anymore. He turned around and looked at me coldly. His eyes were filled with rage, and his jaw was clenched.

I instantly regretted it as the look on his face really scared me, so I just turned on my heel slammed the door shut before locking it and going to call cab.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After paying the cab driver, I slipped out the door, headed into the restaurant fifteen minutes late, and looked around for the hostess so she could tell me if my sister had arrived already. But before I found the hostess, I saw my sister sitting by a small table for two in the back of the restaurant.

Her shoulder length chocolate brown hair matched our chocolate brown eyes perfectly. It flowed in loose waves until it reached her shoulders, curtaining her face perfectly.

As I neared the table, I tried to get rid of the frustrated expression that adorned my features. As I got closer she saw me and stood up with a large sincere smile covering her features. She looked exactly like me except for the hair colour; we had the same nose, lips, eyes and face shape. People usually mistook us for twins.

She was wearing a knee length yellow sundress that was complimented by her new tan that she had picked up since living in California.

"Anna!" I said happily as I leaned in and embraced my sister.

"Trish!" she said in the same happy manner. After embracing for a few moments, we reluctantly let go and sat down in seats opposite each other. "I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you too," I said before changing the subject. I didn't want our night together to be clouded with discussing how horrible it was being so far apart; I just wanted to enjoy my time with her. "I'm sorry I'm late."

"It's okay, men tend to make us incredibly organized women late," she said smiling sweetly. I smiled back at first but then realized I hadn't told her anything about Billy or about any guy for that matter.

"What? No, there's no man involved," I lied as a middle-aged waiter with a mop of brown hair brought a glass of red wine and a vodka and coke over and placed them in front of us.

"I ordered you a vodka," she explained.

"Are you ladies ready to order?" the waiter asked politely.

"No, not yet," Anna replied as we hadn't even looked at the menus. The waiter bowed his head graciously and walked away. Anna then turned her attention to me and spoke, "No man! Ha! Bullshit, I know that frustrated look that you had on your face when you entered, and that look only comes when your pissed off with a guy, so spill." I should have known better than to attempt to lie to her; she knew me better than anyone and could easily tell when I lied. We had told each other everything as long as I can remember: from our first crush, to our first kiss, and then of course our first sexual encounter. I guess the fact there was only a year between us made us closer than a lot of other sisters.

"Umm…" I honestly didn't know what to say. What was I supposed to say about Billy? We weren't in a relationship - we weren't dating - we were just sleeping together. Now what was the best way to put that into words? "Well, uh, I guess umm, it's hard to, uh, explain," I stuttered out whilst fidgeting in my seat.

"You're casually no-strings attached sleeping together, right?" she said with an all-knowing look. _How does she know everything? _She couldn't have known anything about what Billy and I were doing. She had been with her fiancé since she was fifteen and lost her virginity to him.

"No, it's not like that. It's more like…Yeah, that's it," I said, finally giving in before picking up a menu and looking over it.

"That's how STIs are spread," she said nonchalantly with a smirk on her face.

"Me and Billy use protection!" I said, but she cocked an eyebrow up at me. "Always!"

"Okay, Okay! How's school?" she asked, thankfully changing the subject whilst flicking a brown wave out of her face.

"Good, but I think I'm going to have to get a second job to help pay the bills," I said before taking a swig of my vodka and coke.

"If you want, me and Barry can help you. He's doing really well in his new job; we can afford it," she offered, but I immediately shook my head.

"No. Definitely not. I'm doing this on my own, and if I can't do it, I won't do it. Simple as."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Two and a half hours later, we were heading back to my apartment in the jeep that Anna had rented for the two days she was in Chicago. She was staying in my apartment for the night rather than going back to our mother's house and having to endure her phony Catholic beliefs at Christmas time.

"Are you sure you don't want to come to Barry's parents for Christmas lunch tomorrow?" she asked for the fifth time.

"Yes, I'm sure. My friend Rachel is cooking, and we're going to have a few drinks," I said for the fifth time.

"God, this neighbourhood is bad," she said as she looked around the run down streets.

I sat back in the jeep seat and listened to her go on about how the area was pretty run down looking and how she'd be scared living in a place as bad as this.

"That's where I work," I said, pointing out the window at the small bar we were driving past. Suddenly, she did a U-turn in the middle of the road and headed back towards the entrance of the Four Roses.

I'm surprised we didn't crash; after all, it was icy and snowy.

She pulled up and with a large smile across her features and undid her seatbelt before I spoke.

"What are you doing?" I asked as I furrowed my eyebrows together.

"I want to see where my baby sister works," she said lightly before getting out of vehicle._ This should be fun._

The weather was freezing cold, and there was about three inches of snow on the ground. And I wasn't wearing a jacket. Not a good idea.

I followed my older sibling into the musky bar and stood beside her as she looked around the completely undecorated bar.

Rachel was behind the bar talking on her phone to someone, the usual alcoholics sat at the bar undressing Rachel with their eyes, and at the very end of the bar sat Billy and a few members of the gang at their usual table.

"Okay, you've seen. Now let's go," I said whilst grabbing Anna's arm and gently tugging on it.

"Well, let's stay for at least one drink," she said as she made her way to the bar. _Oh God._

I let out a quiet groan and followed her to the bar where I sat on a stool, my head turned away from the gang's table. That's all I needed - one of them coming up and talking to me.

Luckily, they seemed to be in a heavy conversation as none of them noticed two women entering the bar. Usually they would be around them like vultures.

Billy had his back to me and seemed to be talking to the men. Much to my relief he was too busy to notice my arrival.

"I'll call you back," Rachel said when she noticed me sitting at the bar. She then walked over with a large smile on her face. She was wearing a white tank top with a picture of Santa on it. "Hey," she said to me and my sister.

"Rach, this is my sister, Anna. Anna, this is Rachel." They briefly shook hands and began chattering away whilst I sat there, anxiously hoping that Anna would want to leave soon.

I took a large swig of my vodka and coke, but before I had managed to swallow it, Anna said something to Rachel that would make me grab the attention of the most of the bar's occupants.

"So what's this Billy guy like who's having no-strings attached sex with my sister?" she said casually. I, on the other hand, didn't act so casual to the question that Anna had shot at Rachel. I suddenly choked on my drink and began to cough loudly as it went down the wrong way, and when I regained my composure, I could see Rachel's mouth had turned into an O-shape, and in the corner of my eye I could see Billy and the guys looking over. _Great! _"I take it she didn't know about it from both of your reactions," Anna said with a small smile, looking back and forth between me and Rachel. "Sorry."

Rachel's mouth was still open in shock when Bodie strolled over and propped himself up on the bar next to Anna.

"What the fuck's wrong with ya?" Bodie asked, looking at Rachel. I pleaded with her with my eyes, and she seemed to get the message as she closed her mouth and tried to look casual.

"Nothing. Why? What do you want?" she asked curtly.

"Another round." Rachel nodded her head and then began to pour the drinks. Bodie was now looking back and forth at me and my sister, a sly grin on his face.

I was polite to all of the gang members, mainly because I didn't want to get shot in the face, but I actually liked Bodie. He was a good guy who always stopped the other gang bangers from getting too grabby with me when they were drunk, and he was funny. I always had time to talk to Bodie. As well as being a half decent guy, if he hadn't come that night I got attacked, I don't know what would have happened. It's safe to say I held Bodie in high regard.

He was now looking Anna up and down and then looking at me.

"Bodie, this is my sister Anna. Anna, this is Bodie," I said, hoping they wouldn't start having a conversation. Although I liked Bodie, he was still a gang banger, and I would never hear the end of it from Anna if she knew I was on first name basis with a bunch of drug dealing gang members.

"Rachel, shot of whiskey each for Trish and Anna," Bodie said before turning his attention to Anna and continuing. _Yeah, I'm completely sober. I ain't gonna make the mistake of drinking whiskey._

"No whiskey for me," I said before sliding the shot down towards Bodie. "Thanks though," I said as I continued to drink my vodka and coke. Bodie and Anna continued to talk whilst Rachel gave me an eye and then spoke up.

"Trish, could you come and help me with something behind here, please?" Rachel asked politely.

I got off my stool and walked behind the bar, noticing Billy glaring at me as I did so. Rachel led me right to the end of the bar away from everyone.

"Since when? That's a cute dress by the way," she said, eyeing the black spaghetti dress I was wearing.

"Thanks. Since the night those guys attacked me." Her mouth became wider.

"That long! Why didn't you say anything?!" she questioned with her eyes wide.

"I don't know. Just please, don't say anything, not Tommy, not Baggy - no one." She just nodded in agreement, and I walked away, regaining my place on the stool next to Anna. Bodie was being completely flirtatious, and Anna was flirting back (though I knew she meant nothing by it).

"She's engaged," I interrupted Bodie with a smile on my face.

"That's never stopped me before," he stated. I couldn't help but roll my eyes at him.

"Aww, he thinks he's cute, Trish. He really does," she said whilst turning to me and raising her eyebrows.

"I'll be right back," I said before grabbing my purse and heading down the musty corridor with the pay phone in it to get to the women's toilet.

When I first began to work at the Four Roses, the toilet was disgusting and totally unhygienic. It looked like it hadn't been cleaned in months, so although it wasn't my job, I took it as my duty to sort it out. If I was going to be working eight hour shifts, there was no way I was using that Unsanitary toilet, so whenever the bar was quiet, I'd slap on the yellow gloves and clean it. Now, it's at least somewhat clean.

I opened the bathroom door and stepped outside, only for Billy to appear, grab my hand, and pull me along towards the end of the corridor where the pay phone was. He pushed me around the corner and aggressively attacked my lips with his. He pushed me up against the wall, and his hands roamed my body until his hands reached my soft bare thighs.

He then began to undo his belt as he pressed his lips to my neck. I realised what he was doing and pushed him away.

"What are you doing?" I asked, my eyes wide at the sight of his belt, top button, and jeans zipper undone.

"What does it look like I'm fuckin' doin'?" he said before attempting to go and kiss my chest, but I held my hands out to stop him.

He looked at me now, his eyebrows furrowed as if questioning why I was stopping him.

"I'm not gonna have some sleazy quickie with you here," I said, my eyes wide with shock at the fact he was actually happy to do it in some dirty corridor next to the toilets in the bar.

He sniffed, did up his belt and trousers, and then placed his hands on the wall next to my head, stretching out his arms so that he was enclosing me.

"I'll come over later," his coarse voice said.

"You can't; my sisters staying…" His face was expressionless; I was interrupted by my sister voice.

"Trish?" she asked as she rounded the corner to find me leaning against the wall, and Billy standing there, towering over me with his arms leaning against the wall on each side of me so I couldn't just walk away. "Hey," she said when she saw the two of us. She looked concerned at the sight of Billy and me.

I closed my eyes tightly and prayed silently that this was a bad dream; I really didn't want to have to introduce my sister to my gang lord sex partner. I opened my eyes, and unfortunately, Billy was still standing there, although his hands had dropped to his sides now, and he was looking at Anna with cold, hard eyes.

"Anna, this is Billy. Billy, this is my sister, Anna," I said unhappily. Anna didn't flash him her normal friendly smile like she did to everyone else. She stood giving him a look that was just as cold as the one he was giving her.

It was silent for a few moments with the two still glaring at each other. It seemed they had taken an instant dislike to one another, Billy probably because it was twice that she had unknowingly stopped him from getting laid, and Anna… well, you'll find out later why Anna instantly disliked him.

"Anna lives in California and is studying to become a teacher," I said, trying to make conversation.

"Whoo-wee!" he said sarcastically.

"Oh, and what do you do, Billy?" my sister asked, standing up straight and continuing to look him in the eye. _Oh, hell no!_

"Billy's an entrepreneur!" I interrupted, not wanting Billy's true occupation (if you could call it that) to get out to my sister. She scoffed, and I knew she knew I was lying. Billy scowled and then directed his cold gaze towards me. I looked at him for a moment and then focused my eyes back on my sister, deciding that it was probably time that we left.

"C'mon, Anna, let's go," I said stepping forward. Anna's eyebrows were raised, but before I could take too many steps away, Billy grabbed my arm, spun me around, and placed a passionate but soft kiss on my lips before letting go.

I was completely and utterly shocked to say the least; Billy never gave me kisses goodbye. I had a feeling it was more for my sister's benefit than mine or his.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I cannot believe you. Drug dealers? That's the type of people you spend your time with these days?" Anna questioned me, sitting in the jeep outside my apartment complex.

It seems Bodie had mentioned that he could get 'anything,' making my sister question what he meant and then of course revealing the truth that they were all in fact drug dealers. That's when she came to find me, so that we could leave.

"I don't hang out with them!" I yelled whilst placing my hand on my head. So I might have been around them more because I had been hanging out with Rachel a lot, but it's not like I called them up to see if they wanted to hang out or anything.

"Are you back on drugs?" Anna asked me, her eyes focused on me.

My head shot up to look at her. How dare she ask me a question like that? "No! Anna, I am not back on drugs!" I said before going into my bag and putting a cigarette between my lips.

"Well if your not, why are you fucking a drug dealer?" she angrily snapped back.

"Its got nothing to do with you," I bellowed whilst lighting my cigarette.

"Don't smoke in here!" she said as she grabbed my lit cigarette and threw it out of her half open window. "Just stop fucking him okay! It'll only end with you getting hurt!"

"Stop trying to control me, you've tried to control me from the day I got out of rehab. You even do it when your in California, phoning me up making sure im going to class and shit, and your trying to control my sex life as well now." I furiously yelled.

Anna was silent for a moment, as if taking in what I had said. "Im only trying to prevent you from getting hurt," she watched me for a moment and when I didn't reply she continued calmly."Right, okay. I'm gonna take off. I'm gonna stay the night with Barry's parents," I knew she was leaving because she didn't want to have a full blown argument. I went to open my mouth to protest but decided against it, got out of the car angrily, and began to walk inside the apartment complex.

I walked through the snow with great difficulty as I was in stilettos, and my legs and arms were numb from the cold by the time I got into the apartment as I didn't have tights or a jacket on.

As I walked in, I noticed a note left on the kitchen counter, so I walked over to it to see what it said.

_Staying the night at Violet's. She's giving me a Christmas treat. _

_Your one and only Trigger._

I smiled as I placed the note down and began walking over to the window to see if my sister had indeed left. I smiled because Trigger seemed to be happy with his new girlfriend, Violet, and that made me happy for him.

My sister had left, and I couldnt believe she would leave just because of someone I was sleeping with. A tear rolled down my cheek, showing how hurt I was that she had gone. I couldn't believe my small argument with Anna had made a stray tear fall. Well I wasn't going to let it destroy my Christmas eve. So I quickly pulled my cell phone out of my bag and looked through my phonebook for the number I was looking for.

It rang three times before his deep voice answered.

"_What?" _

"You can come over," I said before wiping away the stray tear that had fallen from my eye. He didn't reply for what seemed like forever, and I feared he wasn't going to come because I'd told him he couldn't earlier on. "Please." It escaped my mouth before I could even stop it. I didn't want to have to beg him to come over, but I didn't want to be alone on Christmas Eve. But in a way, I wanted to spend it with Billy. It was something that confused me greatly.

"_Yeah, I'll see you later_," he then hung up. The moment he said 'yeah,' my stomach did about a hundred flips, and I couldn't help the wide smile that grew on my face. That's when I realised that I was indeed developing feelings for Billy Darley. _Oh shit!_


	9. An open Christmas

**A/N Disclaimer: I do not own Death Sentence.**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed, and thanks to my awesome beta Wisery. **

**This is short, but let me know what you think.**

The snow glided down from the cloudy afternoon sky as I dashed towards Rachel's apartment building. It was Christmas Day, and I was heading to Rachel's to have a nice meal and drink far too much alcohol.

I hadn't heard from my sister- although I hadn't expected to, she was probably still pissed. I was still pissed.

_Knock Knock Knock. _

_Knock Knock Knock._

Suddenly Rachel's apartment door flew open and all I saw was a swoosh of blonde hair go by as I entered. Rachel was fussing by the oven.

Rachel's front door led straight into the small kitchen that couldn't fit a table, and as I looked around, I could see pots and pans everywhere. And the smell emanating from the oven was delicious.

It was a proper Christmas smell: turkey, vegetables, and Christmas cake and pie filled the air, and I couldn't help but suck in a deep whiff of it before closing the front door.

I took off my big white coat, revealing a strapless black tiered dress that fell to just above my knees and a low heel pair of shoes. Rachel had told me to dress up and I had, but now I was regretting it as she stood there in a plain black vest and blue jeans.

"Rach? Why are you not dressed up?" I asked curiously as I hung my coat up on the hook attached to the apartment door.

"I am going to now - just got to make sure all the food's cooking right," she said whilst continuing to taste random pieces of food.

"Do you need any help?" I asked as I made my way over to her. She turned around to face me a large smile placed on her lips.

"Just keep an eye on this while I get changed," she said before leaving the kitchen.

Ten minutes later, she returned to the kitchen wearing a red dress with a plunging V neck that went to her knees.

"Oh, sexy new dress! Christmas gift?" I asked whilst examining her new dress.

"Yeah, Tommy got me it," she said with a small smile, her eyes radiating happiness. "Did you get anything nice?"

"Yeah - this necklace," I said whilst fingering the snowflake pendant on the silver necklace. "Trigger got it for me. He left it under my pillow last night."

"I'm telling you, he's got it bad for you." She gave me an all knowing look, and I let out a huff and raised my eyebrows.

"Shut up! That's gross; he's like a brother!" I exclaimed, flicking one of my self-made sleek waves out of my face.

"Whatever. We all see it; I bet you even Billy sees it," she said with her back to me. _Oh great. We__'__re moving on to the Billy topic. _

I walked over to the small refrigerator and pulled out the vodka that I knew would be placed there. I didn't feel cheeky just going into Rachel's fridge; we had spent so much time together recently that apart from when I was with Billy or in college, I was with Rachel, and both of us had come quite accustomed to just getting what we wanted in each other's apartments.

I filled two glasses halfway up with straight vodka and handed one to Rachel. It had become a custom with us: if we were drinking, we would always start with half a glass of straight vodka on the head.

"Cheers," I said before clinking my glass with Rachel's. We both quickly drank the vodka in one gulp and grimaced slightly at the after taste.

We continued chatting about Christmas stuff, but soon the conversation turned onto our families. Rachel revealed that Baggy was visiting their mom at the trailer park where she lived. Rachel didn't say why, but I knew that her mother had kicked Rachel out three years prior because she had told her something, and that Baggy had then beaten the shit out of their then step-father resulting in a year-long jail term. But she seemed optimistic; she said that she had spoken to her mother on the phone, but had yet to see her in person since the day Baggy got sent down.

I, on the other hand, had not spoken to my mother that day, but I had spoken to my ex-boyfriend Zack, who had called to invite me to his family's for Christmas lunch. I politely declined.

The conversation soon turned to Billy and I, and I let out a long sigh when she asked whether or not I had feelings for him.

"It was only last night that I realized that I did, and then he left without saying goodbye," I said whilst shaking my head. "I think I might just end it now, before I get hurt." It was safe to say that my sister had slightly influenced my decision.

Rachel stood next to me and lightly placed her hand on my shoulder; she didn't know what to say.

An hour later, I was walking out of Rachel's bathroom, which led into the blue living room, where there was a table for about twelve set up. Really it was three large tables pushed up against each other though; the chairs were all mismatched clearly more than eight of them were borrowed. Earlier I'd asked why there was such a large set up and why she was cooking so much considering it was meant to be just the two of us. To my horror, I was then told that I would be spending my Christmas with a bunch of gang bangers and Rachel's cousin. I just prayed that Billy had plans to be somewhere else, anywhere else. I still wasn't sure if I was going to end whatever it was that I had with Billy.

I walked over to the beige couch, plopped myself down, and sipped my vodka and coke through a straw. "Merry Christmas, babe," I heard a male voice I didn't recognize from the kitchen say. I got up and made my way through to the kitchen where I found Baggy, Tommy and a guy I didn't know talking to Rachel.

I looked at the guy I didn't know and had to tell myself to stop staring. _This guy is like a Greek God._ He was broad with brown hair that was spiked up and green eyes. His face was unshaven and his features chiseled. He was wearing a black pair of jeans and a black shirt with the first three buttons undone.

"This is my cousin, Craig, and this is my friend, Trish," Rachel introduced us whilst Baggy and Tommy made their way into the living room, both clutching beers.

"Hi," I said in a friendly manner. I would be lying if I said that I didn't think that he was gorgeous. He nodded in reply as a small smile appeared on his face, and as it did, I noticed his cute dimples. "Do you need any help, Rach?" I asked, trying to turn my attention away from Craig.

"No, I'm good," she said, smiling and looking back and forth between me and Craig, who was looking at me with sexy eyes. "You and Craig go in the living room with the guys."

We both walked towards the door, and he opened it and stepped back, so that I could go through first. _And he__'__s a gentleman._

We walked into the living room to find Tommy and Baggy playing the Playstation, so we settled ourselves on the seats around the table.

"So how come I've never heard Rachel mention you before?" I asked. _Yes, why hasn__'__t Rachel mentioned him before?_

"I've just moved back from Michigan; I hadn't seen Rachel or Baggy for about ten years until recently," he said before taking a swig of his beer. "So what do you do?"

"I'm a student by day and barmaid by night. Kind of like a superhero, except I don't have a cape or pvc boots," I said lightly.

Craig laughed loudly before speaking. "I'll get you a cape and some boots as long as you save me when I need rescuing."

"Deal!" I said whilst smiling up at him.

"So what are you studying?" he asked, sounding genuinely interested. I raised my eyebrows in surprise at his question. I doubted Billy even knew what I was majoring in, and I doubted he would ever ask.

"I'm majoring in English Literature, and I'm also studying History and Art History," I replied.

"Ahh, so you're a clever girl then," he said with a grin that showed his charming dimples.

"Hardly. I'm in way over my head in Art History, and History I scrape by in. It's really only English Lit. that I'm actually good at," I said seriously but still with a small smile on my lips.

Craig and I continued talking for another half an hour. During this time, Spink, Dog, and some guy called Marcus showed up. I couldn't believe that I was having Christmas lunch with these guys. If you'd told me how I'd be spending this Christmas last year, I would have burst out laughing. Another thing I couldn't believe was how well Craig and I were getting on. His personality was so similar to Alex's, I couldn't help but think he was cool.

I finally got up and walked into the kitchen where Rachel was talking to Baggy. As I entered, Baggy smiled at me then left to go back into the living room.

"Are you sure you don't need any help?" I asked, feeling guilty for not helping her when she was cooking for loads of people.

"No, I'm good. I've done this for the past three years. I think I can handle it." I nodded in reply and leaned on the kitchen counter. "So you and Craig seem to be getting on really well," she stated.

"Yeah, he's really cool and so god damn sexy!" I said playfully with a smile on my face. Rachel had her back to me as I said it, and she turned around with a smile on her face, but the smile dropped into an awkward smirk when the door opened and in came Billy.

He was wearing a long sleeved grey top, but had his sleeves rolled up, with a pair of jeans, his cross necklace hanging over his top. He took a drag of his cigarette and smirked at me as he blew smoke out of his nose and mouth.

Bodie, Joe, and Trigger strolled in after him, all looking around. Trigger quickly walked past Billy and wrapped me in a hug, quickly picking me up and spinning me around.

"Oh my God! Trigger, put me down," I said through giggles. He then placed me back to the ground and gave me a kiss on the cheek before saying Merry Christmas. "Merry Christmas to you too! I got your present. I love it! Thank you." He gave me a cheeky grin before walking over to Rachel and giving her a quick peck on the cheek and wishing her a happy Christmas.

Bodie and Joe then followed suit, giving Rachel a kiss on the cheek and then making their way over to me. Bodie gave me a quick peck followed by Joe, who lingered and tried to grab my bottom. I quickly pushed him away and gave him a light slap across the back of his head.

"Joe!" I exclaimed.

"What? It's Christmas," he said whilst grinning before getting a beer and walking into the living room.

Now it was just Billy, Rachel, and me in the kitchen. Billy stubbed out his cigarette and walked over to Rachel, planting a kiss on her cheek and speaking in a low voice to her. I couldn't hear what they were saying, and I felt horrendously jealous. _Oh for God__'__s sake Trish, get a grip! _Billy then broke away from her and made his way towards me. My heart sped up, and I knew my attempt at trying to come off casual and relaxed was just coming off as awkward.

He leaned down and placed a kiss on my cheek. I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and the roughness of his unshaven chin against my soft cheek.

"Merry Christmas," I said softly. Rachel looked at me with a wide smile and made her way into the living room, leaving Billy and I alone. "So what did you get?" I asked trying to kill the sexual-tension that was building up in the room. He was so close, and I just wanted to grab him and have him take me right there. _What is wrong with you?_

"I'm getting you," he said huskily with that sexy smirk across his face. He then leaned down, placed a light kiss on the corner of my mouth, and then kissed his way down to my 'sensitive' spot below my ear. I sucked in a gasp of air, and I knew he was smirking against my neck.

"Ahem." My head turned straight towards the door, and Billy looked up to see Rachel standing in the doorway. "Sorry to disturb you, but I'm serving food now," Rachel said happily. I smiled awkwardly at her as Billy walked into the living room, smirking at me as he did so.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

We were all around the living room in various different places. The chairs that had been placed around the table were now placed in numerous areas around the living room for people to sit on as there was only a three-seater couch in the apartment. Everyone apart from Spink, Jamie, and Dog was still present; addicts needed their drugs on Christmas Day just like any other day Billy had reminded them.

Many other women had arrived, placing themselves around the room near the guys, clearly flirting, and wanting some Christmas fun. Violet had arrived, and she and Trigger were sitting in a corner talking to Joe and some blonde. Rachel was having a conversation with a girl with black hair, and Billy, Bodie, Baggy, Heco, Tommy and the unknown guy named Marcus were all sitting together by the couch also surrounded by a group of floozy looking women. I was standing near the kitchen doorway with Craig in deep conversation about everything and anything; although I did shoot the odd glance at Billy to see if he had one of the slutty looking women all over him yet.

It shocked me to a great extent how much like a normal day it was, considering the circumstances. We had all sat around the table, eating our meal together, and at the beginning because it was so normal, a small part of me wondered whether they'd say grace. They didn't.

It was now eight PM, and there was a party in full swing. Everybody seemed to be either drunk or getting there.

"No! No!" I said in horror whilst shaking my head. "_Of Mice and Men_ is probably one of the most boring books I have ever read! How you can call it a masterpiece is beyond me," I ranted before taking a large swig of my vodka and coke.

"It is. John Steinbeck was a writing genius." _Is he stoned or something?_ I raised my eyebrows in shock at his admission; he took note of this and continued to talk. "Fine - name a writer who you would say is a writing genius," he said whilst running a hand through his brown hair.

I pondered the thought for a few moments before coming up with an answer. "J. K. Rowling," I said smugly whilst thinking about the English born writer. He raised his eyebrows up at me, so I continued. "You know the Harry Potter books? They're amazing!"

"You actually read those?" he asked skeptically.

"You haven't? That's what's shocking about all of this! I can't wait; the fourth book is out in July!" I screeched excitedly.

"Okay, twenty bucks says that if I read those books, I'll think they're shit," he said.

"Deal!" I said whilst shaking his hand on it.

An hour later, I was still talking to Craig, and Rachel had joined our conversations as well. Rachel was more than drunk, and I could see her eyeing Tommy with lustful eyes; I just hoped that she didn't go and announce her love for him to everyone, for Tommy's sake.

Rachel had just whispered in my ear that Billy kept looking over at me and Craig, but I brushed it off. I had been taking glances at him all night, and I hadn't seen him looking at me once.

I could see Trigger beckoning me over with his newly tribal tattooed arm. It started at his elbow and crawled all the way up to his shoulder blade; that was him showing his dedication to the gang. I began to walk over to Trigger, who was sitting near Billy and the boys with Violet.

Trigger had a large smile plastered across his face when I took a seat next to him and leaned in so that I could hear him over the music that was blasting.

"See if you can crash here tonight. I went to the apartment before coming here, and it's freezing. The heating's fucked up again." Before I could answer, Billy appeared and spoke so that both Trigger and I could hear him.

"I think I can find a place for her to stay tonight." Trigger's face turned sour as Billy wrapped his arm around me and guided me to where he was sitting. I didn't know what to do or say. What was he doing?

He pulled me down so that I was sitting on his lap, and everyone was looking at us. I was shocked; I didn't know what I was supposed to do. Was I supposed to get up and walk away? Was I supposed to fall into him and allow him to wrap his arms around me as I sat there? I didn't know. Right then, I was sitting rather rigidly, looking around the room. Trigger was red in the face and looked like he was going to explode at any moment. Joe looked confused, and the other gang members just looked up and then continued what they were doing. Rachel and Craig were both looking over, Rachel with a drunken large grin spread across her face, Craig with his eyebrows furrowed together looking at me. The floozy looking women were giving me death glares.

"Who's the guy?" Billy irately asked into my ear.

"Who? Craig?" I asked, turning slightly on his lap so that I was looking at his expressionless face. His eyes were hard, and I could tell he was pissed off. When he didn't reply, I continued talking. "He's Rachel's cousin."

"Just remember you're mine," he hissed into my ear. What did he mean by that? Were we together now? Were we in the process of getting together? Was I in the process of becoming part of this gang lifestyle? What does he mean by 'you're mine'? Did it mean that he was going to stop fucking other women now? So many questions were swirling around inside of my head, and I couldn't help the slight feeling of euphoria when the slutty women around the room looked at me with jealousy written all over their faces when they saw me sitting on Billy's lap. I wanted them to know that Billy had picked me out of the lot of them, even if it was only because he'd seen me with talking with Craig.

I couldn't help but feel pleased that Billy had shown everyone that I was with him. I wanted people to know how I felt about him and how he hopefully felt about me. It seems I had made my decision; I wasn't going to break it off with Billy.

But was I ready to be openly seeing a gang lord?

The party was clearing out, and nearly all the guys were leaving with a girl each. Baggy had retreated to his bedroom with a red head a little over an hour ago. Billy and I got up because he wanted to leave, and as he talked to Heco, I made my way over to Trigger, who had been looking pissed off ever since Billy had come over and placed me on his lap.

"Hey," I said softly but drunkenly. He didn't reply, just looked down at Violet who was sleeping on his shoulder. "Why are you ignoring me?" he hadn't even looked at me all night.

"Billy? Of all the fucking guys," he said through clenched teeth. I could feel myself getting angry, so I just walked over to where Rachel and Craig were standing, not wanting to argue with Trigger in front of everyone.

"Thanks for everything," I said as I leaned in and gave Rachel a quick peck on the lips before turning to Craig and giving him a farewell hug.

I then left with Billy and made it back to his apartment complex. We walked into the rickety elevator that we had been in together a few months ago, and Billy pressed the button for the fourth floor.

As soon as the door closed, I grabbed Billy and crashed my lips against his. He placed his arms tightly on my small waist and gently pushed me against the elevator wall. When the elevator came to the fourth floor, we unenthusiastically pulled our lips apart. Billy grabbed my hand and took eager long strides to his apartment building door.

As soon as we were inside, he picked me up, and I wrapped my legs around his waist. As we began to kiss passionately again, he walked over to his bedroom and walked in. He never broke the kiss - not even when he kicked the door shut with his foot.

**There is now a picture of who I see as Craig on my profile . ;D**


	10. Time goes by fast

**I do not own Death Sentence.**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed, and thanks to my awesome beta Wisery.**

**Reviews are greatly appreciated.**

Trigger stood in front of me, his face red and a vein pulsing in his neck, yelling at me like I was a small child. I was standing by the couch in our apartment, and he was standing near the kitchen; we had been arguing for the last half an hour - about Billy of course.

Earlier in the morning, I had been woken by Trigger, who Billy had sent to come and pick me up from his place. Billy, however, was nowhere to be seen. It didn't take me long to realize that Billy and I were still indeed just having a no strings sex relationship. Clearly it was for the best, I didn't want to be publicly seeing a drug dealing gang banger anyway. But if that was true, why was I so disappointed?

"How long has it been going on?" asked Trigger.

"Two months," I replied, slightly nervous. I had never seen Trigger so angry, and it was unsettling to know it was because of who I was sleeping with.

Trigger let out a low chuckle and ran a hand across his face. "Do ya know how many fuckin' women I've seen Billy with in the last two months?"

"So? Me and Billy are just sleeping together. He can fuck who he likes, the same as me," I said back, trying to keep my voice steady.

Trigger let out another low chuckle before speaking. "You really think he'd let you fuck other people?" I walked towards him, intending to go and get a soda from the kitchen, but I stopped right in front of him when he spoke again. "You're just another one his little fuckin' sluts." Instantly my hand connected with his cheek, and I then stormed off into my bedroom, holding back the salty tears that threatened to spill.'

_How dare Trigger call me a slut? _I thought over and over again as I lay on my bed, my face buried into my pillows.

After ten minutes, I sat up quickly and made my way over to my dresser, which held one of many books I had to read for my English Lit class. I grabbed it, slipped on my black framed reading glasses, then made my way over to my bed, and began reading it.

I don't know how much time passed, but Trigger soon appeared in my doorway, a somber expression covering his face.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to come out the way it did." I didn't reply or even look up from book. "I just don't want you to get hurt," he said softly.

"That's what everyone keeps saying," I replied bitterly, finally looking up from my book.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

One week later

"Have you spoken to Trigger yet?" Rachel asked as she twirled around the straw that was in her glass. I leaned forward so that my elbows were leaning on the bar and tilted my head so that I was facing Rachel, who stood in a small black skirt and a white vest even though it was a Saturday. Rachel had refused to wear the smutty tops, and Sammy let her off, because she was Baggy's sister. Soon he found out about me openly sleeping with Billy, and then he let me off.

"Briefly," I replied, glancing down at Billy who was smoking a cigarette and playing cards with Baggy, Spink, and Tommy.

Rachel walked off towards her bag, pulled her car keys out, and thrust them at me. "Ask Billy where Trigger's working tonight, drive down there, and make-up. In a strictly friendly fashion of course."

I shifted uncomfortably as she continued to hold the keys in front of me, expecting me to take them.

"I can't," I said quietly.

"C'mon get over your pride!" said Rachel.

"It's not that," I said quietly again. "I… I can't drive."

"What?" she asked, shocked.

"I failed like three times," I replied.

Rachel walked away, and I knew she was trying to stifle a laugh. What was the big deal? I couldn't drive, loads of people couldn't drive.

An hour later, I was sitting at the bar having a cigarette whilst Rachel served a few regulars when Spink called for me to go over to their table.

I put my cigarette out in an ashtray and then, with a groan, got up and made my way over to their table, which had a mound of five dollar bills thrown carelessly into the middle of it.

I stood next to a seated Billy, waiting for an order or something.

"Yes?" I asked after standing there for over two minutes.

"It don't matter no more," Spink said, not even looking up from his cards. I let out an angry huff and went to turn away, but Billy's tattooed arm snaked around my waist and pulled me down onto his lap, my arm just missing the cigarette that was in his mouth.

"I'm working," I said calmly, trying to get of his lap, but Billy just kept pulling me back down. "Seriously. Let me go."

"Make me," he whispered into my ear. I looked down at his expressionless face and had the biggest urge to kiss him. But that would have been totally inappropriate. Billy and I didn't kiss. Well, we did but not in public. He would grab me, place me on his lap, and slap my arse in front of everyone (something that greatly angered me), and he'd openly say in front of everyone that he was going to come over soon, but we never kissed in front of anyone. That would make it too much like a relationship I guess.

I turned my head slightly so that I was looking at his cards, and a small smile appeared on my lips. "If you don't, I'll tell everyone what cards you've got," I threatened. He raised his eyebrows at me, daring me to do so. "Right then, let's see. Boys, listen good now, 'cause I'm only gonna tell you what his cards are once." Billy still hadn't loosened his grip; I looked at him briefly, and a small smirk played on his features. "Okay then, let's see here: we've got one ki-" I stopped when his grip loosened. "Thank you," I said as I got up off his lap. I walked around, leaned down towards his ear, and told him Tommy's cards, which I had seen whilst waiting for an order; Billy's smirk turned into a large grin.

Two hours later, Rachel and I were sitting behind the bar, waiting for Billy and Baggy, but I knew she was waiting for Tommy. The bar had been closed for the past hour, and Billy had told me to wait for him and Rachel to wait for Baggy while they finished playing poker.

"I think I'm gonna take off," I said, sick of waiting for him.

"You can't walk. If you could drive, you would be able to go, but clearly…" she stopped when she began laughing. Apparently, my inability to drive amused her greatly. "Here they come," she said after laughing loudly.

Baggy, Spink, and Tommy all looked irritated; I took that as a sign that Billy had won. They all walked towards us, and when they stood next to us, Rachel spoke.

"Billy, you look tired. Perhaps you should get Trish to drive ya home - oh wait, she can't drive," she said whilst laughing. _Just announce it to the whole damn world._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

One month later

The snow had all melted away, but the weather was still cold and humid as I attempted to drive around an empty car park in Heco's red mustang. Heco wasn't at all too pleased about it, but Billy had made him.

Heco was sitting in the back seat, moaning whenever I did something wrong, only for Billy to shoot him a fierce glare or threaten to kick him out of the car if he carried on complaining. I was getting better though, so I didn't see why Heco was whining so much.

Since the night in the bar when Rachel had told everyone that I couldn't drive, Billy had taken me out to learn in his car, but after almost crashing it several times, Billy opted that we use Heco's car instead.

Billy had taken me out to learn over half a dozen times, and surprisingly, I was learning more with his yelling and firm instructions that I ever had with anyone else. I think it was because I was scared of making him angry if I messed up too much.

I rounded one of the trashcans that Billy had 'borrowed' from some nearby houses' yards and placed around the car park for me to drive around. Heco began moaning that I had rounded the bin too sharply, and I foolishly began listening to his complaints instead of concentrating on what I was doing, resulting in me crashing into one of the trashcans.

I stopped the car and placed a hand across my mouth, not believing what I had just done. Now Heco was gonna moan like a bitch, and Billy was probably going to yell.

"C'mon man, she's your girl. Teach her in your car." There was a sound of desperation in Heco's voice. Since when had I been Billy's girl? True, I had only seen him with one other woman since Christmas, and that was when we argued and I had told him to go and fuck someone else. I decided to shrug it off, knowing that it was Heco's drugged up ass talking.

A smirk appeared on Billy's lips before he answered, "I don't want my car to get fucked up." I lightly slapped Billy's arm in defense before listening to his instructions and continuing to drive around for another half an hour. Then we left Heco's car, and I jumped in the passenger side of Billy's car and headed back to my apartment.

_She said she__'__d take me anywhere_

_She__'__d take me anywhere_

_As long as she stayed clean._

"Hello," I said into the phone, not recognizing the number that had popped up onto the screen. _Uch, I__'__ve got to change my ring tone._

"_Hi, it's Anna.__" _There was a slight pause after she spoke, both of us unable to find words to speak. Anna and I had yet to speak since our fight. I had almost called her several times but had just ended up putting the phone down. _"__How are you?__"_

"I'm good, yeah. How about you?" I asked whilst looking at Billy, who was smoking a cigarette and taking glances at me as he drove.

"_Yeah, I'm good. Barry__'__s good_," she said, knowing I'd ask if her fiancé was okay next. "_Actually, I just called to tell you this is my new number_."

"Oh okay, I've got it now," I said as Billy pulled up to a red light. He gave me a questioning look, so I mouthed the word 'sister' to him. "Right, well, I'll see you so-" I began to say after another awkward pause.

"_Trish, I didn__'__t call because of me getting a new number. I'm sorry I was controlling and everything else. I really am just scared for you. But hey, what do I know? Maybe this Billy character__'__s a great lay_." I couldn't suppress a giggle that escaped from my mouth, making Billy look at me and raise his eyebrows.

"That he is!" I said through giggles. "I know you were just looking out for me."

"_I am really so-_" Anna didn't have time to finish as I interrupted her.

"No! No more apologies. It's gone; it's in the past," I declared, now rummaging through my bag for a cigarette, and when I couldn't find one Billy handed me his pack.

"_Okay, then. On to the good stuff - I meant to ask you this at Christmas but with everything... Anyway, what do you think about the color baby pink?_" she asked excitedly.

"Why? Are you pregnant?" I bellowed.

"_No, for the bridesmaid__'__s dresses and your maid of honor dress.__"_A massive grin appeared on my face. "_Will you do it?__"_

"Of course I will!" I said excitedly.

Ten minutes later, we arrived outside my shabby looking apartment building, forcing me to end the conversation with my sister.

"Sorry about that - got caught up in the excitement, you know?" I said whilst placing my hand on his leg.

"Yeah," he said sarcastically. "I got work to do," Billy's raspy voice said. _That__'__s my cue to leave then._

"Are you coming over later?" I asked, still sitting in his car, my hand now resting firmly on the handle. He nodded his head yes in reply. "Thanks for everything." My chocolate brown eyes met with his icy blue ones for a moment, and then he did something that shocked me greatly. He leaned in and kissed me passionately, his hand cupping the back of my neck to hold me to him.

When the kiss ended, he still held me there, my forehead resting against his. "I'll come over later," he murmured before leaning in and capturing my lips with his briefly.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I slowly walked through the hallway outside my apartment, still thinking about the kiss Billy and I had just shared. Since the day he had tried to kiss me in his car and I had pushed him away, he hadn't even tried to give me a kiss when I was leaving (apart from when my sister was there, but im sure that was just to get at her). Then he just goes and kisses me with such desire, and we hadn't even had sex. I was totally stunned by the kiss, but I wasn't complaining.

When I opened my front door, I was greeted by Trigger and Violet standing in the centre of the living room in a bitter argument. Both their heads turned towards me as I entered, Trigger looking stressed out and Violet with the biggest scowl I had ever seen on someone's face.

I attempted to blend into the walls as I swiftly walked past the dusty living room, making a mental note to do some dusting when their row was over. As I passed Trigger, I noticed his cheek was red raw, indicating Violet had slapped him. _Poor guy, he hasn__'__t been able to catch a break recently._

"Trish?" Violet called me back as I was opening my bedroom door. I grimaced, hoping I wasn't going to get dragged into their feud.

"Yes?" I said, turning slightly to see Violet. Her eyes were filled with tears, and her raven colored hair was tied up into a ponytail, a few loose curls falling on her face. She tossed a photograph at me. When I looked at it, it was a picture of Michelle and I: Michelle and I are standing on the beach, both in white bikinis. My sandy blonde hair is tied up, and her short hair is dyed bubble gum pink. The photo was taken when Michelle, Alex, and I took a vacation to Florida.

"You found it, thanks!" I said appreciatively. I had recently lost the photograph, which was disappointing as it was one of my favorites of Michelle and me. I attempted to go and walk back into my room, but Violet spoke again.

"Trigger found it. Ask him what he was doing with it when I walked in," Violet said, her voice full of anger. I looked at Trigger, whose eyes were shut tight - probably trying to imagine he was somewhere else. I know I was. "Go on. Tell her," Violet spat. She was now yelling. "Fine! Shall I do it? I walked in and found him jerking off over it." My eyes squinted towards Trigger, not knowing what to say. He looked awfully pale, and a somber expression covered his face when he opened his eyes.

"I'm, I'm n- not getting involved," I stammered out before rushing into my bedroom and throwing the picture on top of my dresser.

Why was he doing that? Did this confirm Rachel's theory? Of course, it didn't; he could have just been jerking off, and the picture was the first thing that he grabbed to do it over. Yes, that was a plausible explanation.

I knew it was going to be awkward next time I saw Trigger alone, so I decided when that time came, I would just ignore what I had been told and carry on as normal. That was definitely the best thing to do.

Whilst laying on my bed attempting to lose myself in the fabulous _Pride and Prejudice_, I continued to hear them arguing. I tried to block it out, but it was hard to. In the end, I just placed a pillow over my head to try and drown the insults that were flying out of both Trigger's and Violet's mouths. Unfortunately, it seemed since Violet had caught Trigger, she had taken a dislike to me. Who could blame her? I would have been pissed too, but when she said things about me (which didn't offend me as I knew she was just angry), Trigger defended me, making it ten times worst for himself. _Seriously, don__'__t defend one of the girls you__'__ve just been caught wanking over._

An hour later, the yelling had stopped to my relief. I assumed from the loud thud the door made when someone slammed it that Violet had stormed out. It also seemed that Trigger was still in the apartment as I could hear him tinkering about the living room.

Soon, he knocked on my door, and I tried to act casual as he walked in, his face serious and slightly embarrassed.

"I, uh, I wasn't… you know, over you. Um your - your friend, she's, uh, hot," he stammered out, his eyes looking everywhere but at my own.

"Yeah, I know. Don't worry, I gathered that," I said with a friendly smile, deciding I would tell no one about what had occurred.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Two weeks later

I stepped out of Billy's car and rushed towards his apartment building to avoid the rain that was thrashing down. The sky was covered with black clouds, lighting up every few minutes with a bolt of lightning. I ran until I got inside the battered plastic door that led into the entrance of the plain graffiti'd apartment building. My hair was dripping wet, and I was certain some of my eye makeup must have smudged.

Looking out of the plastic door, I could see Billy casually strolling through the rain, his leather jacket blowing in the wind. A small smile played on my lips as he got closer, but it turned into a frown when he stopped and began talking to someone in a car that had pulled up.

I could see that there was only one man in the car, and he looked no older than seventeen from what I could see, but I could see that Billy was yelling at him. I quickly pushed the plastic door open and walked towards Billy, curious about what was going on.

"Billy?" I asked as the wind blew my wet hair forwards, forcing me to hold my skirt down to keep it from blowing up in the wind.

The guy in the car looked up at me. His hair was black, and his skin was dark. He gave a large smile, showing me that his two front teeth were silver.

Billy turned his head towards me: his jaw was clenched, and he tilted his head to the side slightly. "Get your ass back inside," he said angrily as water dripped from his nose.

"Billy?" I asked again, wondering why he had just used that tone with me when he had been uncharacteristically nice to me all day. He had sat with his arm around me when we sat in the bar, and he had even lightly kissed my temple before I'd gotten up to go to the toilet. It was kind of scary actually.

"Get fuckin' inside now!" he yelled even louder, his finger now pointing at the building. I turned around and began to walk back, only hearing what the guy in the car said.

"That your girl, Darley? That's not how you're supposed to treat a pretty little thing like that-" He had continued talking, but with me walking further away and the fierce howling of the wind, it was impossible to hear more.

I waited inside the building for a few more minutes before Billy reappeared. His jaw was clenched, and he was putting his gun back into the back of his jeans. I had seen him do it - after speaking with the boy for a while, he had pulled his gun out, resulting in the boy immediately driving off. His demeanor was one of a mad man, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to go upstairs to his apartment with him.

He walked over to the dodgy elevator and pressed the button, resulting in the doors opening instantly. He strolled in, his bald head gleaming from the rain, and stood facing me - I was still standing in the same position as I had been when he had entered the building.

"What?" he spat, his cold, hard eyes on me as I stood there. Deciding it would probably be best if I went upstairs with him, I reluctantly got into the elevator.

He walked at a normal pace down the plain, white corridor that led to his apartment. I had to walk swiftly to keep up with his long legs.

When we entered his apartment, he immediately went into the kitchen area and poured himself a large glass of Jack Daniels, which he downed in one swig. I stood by the door, shivering from the cold as he stepped towards me, his eyes softer than they had been.

"You should take those off," he said, nodding at my soaking wet clothes. He then began to remove his leather jacket, placing it over his ripped black leather couch before walking into the bathroom and bringing out two towels, one of which he tossed one at me.

I took off my white coat and placed it next to Billy's. Standing there in my white skirt and pink top, I blurted out, "Who was the guy in the car?"

"The nephew of the punk who runs B Street," he answered honestly before taking of his black T-shirt that had stuck to his abs. I continued looking at him - at his perfect physique and his tribal tattoos that flowed over his broad shoulders and twisted down his arms.

"Why did you pull your gun out?" I asked. I understood that the guy had probably threatened him or the gang, and that's why he pulled his gun out. But I wanted to know exactly what the guy had said.

Billy made his way over to me, leaned down, and kissed my neck before whispering, "Why so many questions?" I didn't reply as he continued kissing my neck and my 'sensitive spot,' and then removed my soaking wet, pink T-shirt. He ran his hands down my waist and then down to my bottom, which he grabbed, lifting me up so that my legs were wrapped around his waist.

In retrospect, it was quite dangerous because he did have a gun tucked in the back of his jeans, but I didn't doubt for a second that the safety would be on - not that I thought about it as Billy carried me to his bedroom.

Hours later, I sat up and stretched in Billy's bed. The room was large with dirty white walls and a large set of drawers at the bottom of the big double bed. There was a chair in the corner of the room that was covered in empty beer bottles, empty cigarette packets, and empty sticks of gum.

I stood up nude and walked over to a stony-faced Billy, passing a messy pile of the clothes, who was smoking a cigarette. I grabbed his hand and started pulling it towards me, although only his arm moved, and he raised a curious brow at me before taking the last drag of his cigarette and stubbing it out.

"Come and take a shower with me," I said, wanting a re-enactment of what had happened last time we had taken a shower together.

Billy stood up on his old wooden floor boards and kissed me lightly on the mouth and once on my neck before sitting on his bed and putting his black boxer shorts on. "No."

"Fine, I'll take one by myself," I said teasingly, assuming he would probably jump in halfway through my shower.

"No. Get dressed and go," he said irritably before walking out of the bedroom. I couldn't believe what he was saying. Granted, I never stayed around long after we'd get together at his place, but he always let me have a shower afterwards.

Irritated and confused, I got dressed quickly and stormed into Billy's living room. He was sitting on his couch with a glass of whiskey, and when I entered he didn't even look at me.

"I don't know what your problem is, but-" Billy cut me off.

"You're my problem. Now go!" he yelled before getting up and storming off into his bedroom, slamming his door like an annoyed teenager as he did so.

I let out an angry huff as I put my shoes on, and then I walked over to his brown door. I attempted to open it, but he had put the lock on. _Oh my God - what a cock!_

"You are such an asshole!" I yelled through the door. "I hate myself because I actually like you, Billy. I actually like you! I don't like you because you're a fucking gang lord-" the door opened, and I was shocked to see him still standing there in his boxers.

"I DON'T FUCKIN' WANT YOU!" Billy bellowed in my face. He couldn't say that. Not after we'd just had sex. How dare he?

"What the fuck is your problem?! We just had sex, and you're saying you don't want me!" His eyes were wide like a crazy person's, his jaw was clenched, and his head tilted to the side. "I can do so much better than you! Than a fucking worthless piece of shit that will never be anything better than a fucking drug dealer!" I yelled. His nostrils were flaring now. I turned away, but he grabbed my arm tightly, his fingers digging into my flesh. As I attempted to yank my arm out of his grip, I clumsily tripped over an empty beer keg, resulting in me landing hard on the floor, my head scraping the corner of the coffee table as I fell.

As I began to scramble to my feet, Joe walked through the front door, whistling. He stopped immediately, and his eyes grew wide when he saw me on the floor, my head bleeding and Billy standing over me, looking extremely angry.

"Joe, take her ass home!" Billy said aggressively before walking into his bedroom and slamming the door behind him.


	11. Tricks and Truths

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Sentence.**

**A/N I apologize for the longish wait, but this chapter had some serious problems with it, and had to be re-drafted and then edited several times. Thanks to my amazing beta ****Wisery****, who helped me sort out all the problems with this chapter, and is a awesome beta. And thanks to everyone who reviewed.**

**Let me know what you think of this chapter.**

The weeks went by, and I still hadn't spoken to Billy. I was back to just being polite so I didn't cause trouble, and he was back to his unfriendly manor - except this time he didn't creepily stare at me whilst I worked. I found myself missing that, weird right?

Joe had been shocked, to say the least, to find me lying on the floor with his brother standing over me, but after explaining to him what had happened, he was no longer shocked, just confused. The same as I was.

Since Billy had ever so subtlety told me he no longer wanted me, he had brought all manner of girls back to the Four Roses whilst I worked - some who were rather disgusting.

Some of them were so unpleasant and smarmy that I just wanted to ask them if they were raised by pigs, and others were so slutty and openly threw themselves all over the gang that I was embarrassed for them.

According to Rachel (I wasn't working that particular night), Billy had brought a rather smutty looking girl back to the bar, where he casually discarded her by pushing her onto Heco's lap, saying that he'd already had her and didn't want her again. Later that night Rachel had walked over to the table to collect glasses and to her horror she saw that the girl was giving oral sex to Heco in front of the whole gang.

"Popcorn's ready," Rachel yelled from the kitchen. I got up off the beige couch and slowly padded my way into the small kitchen. Her long dark blonde hair was carelessly tied to the top of her head, and her pink fluffy pajamas that had white clouds splashed all over them were exactly like the ones I was wearing then, except mine were blue and fluffy with white clouds splashed all over them.

"Remind me why we are doing this? I have really early classes tomorrow, and you're making me stay here," I stated as I watched her pour the popcorn from the hot packaging and into a large glass bowl.

"Because you need cheering up. So were having a girlie night with some amazing chick flicks that will make you realize there are better guys out there than Billy," she said, not even looking at me. I had no doubt in my mind that this girly night was more for herself than for me, because I wasn't upset - just annoyed. Well, maybe a small part of me was upset. Tommy had been distancing himself from her, and was spending ridiculous amounts of time with Billy around the local sluts when he could have been alone in the apartment with her.

"I don't need cheering up; I just need to rip out a few girls' hair, that's all," I said before walking into the living room and plonking myself on the floor in front of the TV and looking at her wide range of movies that Rachel had. I could hear Rachel laughing to herself in the kitchen.

Two hours later, Rachel and I were both sitting on the floor, tears streaming down our faces as we watched the end of the movie _Notting Hill_.

"I love that film!" I said whilst wiping away tears. "I also love Hugh Grant; he's so suave and has an ever so sexy English accent!" Rachel just nodded in reply.

We then put on the Titanic and cried all the way through it, only laughing when we both stood up and imitated Kate and Leo. My hands were on Rachel's waist and hers were spread outwards with her eyes closed.

"Do you trust me?" I asked in a deep voice, trying to imitate the character Jack's voice. My sudden change in voice made Rachel giggle before replying.

"Yes." A few seconds later she spoke again. "Jack, I'm flying!" she said overdramatically in an appalling attempt to recreate the English accent. I just burst out laughing and fell to the couch in hysterics.

Rachel then flopped on the couch next to me as we both continued to laugh - only quieting down but still laughing when the door opened, and in came Baggy, Tommy, and Billy. _You have got to be kidding me?_

His hard eyes scanned the room and locked on me for a moment before he smirked and drunkenly walked over to us, plonking himself on the seat next to Rachel. Tommy and Baggy had turned our movie off, plugged the PlayStation in, and started playing it.

Rachel and I looked at the three, our eyes wide and our mouths open.

"Do you mind? We were watching that," Rachel angrily asked Baggy, who turned and smiled at her drunkenly.

"Go get me a beer," Baggy slurred. Rachel and I both irritably got up and made our way into the kitchen, where we took all of the beers and made our way to Rachel's room.

The room was big, and everything was bright pink and white. After the initial shock the bedroom tended to give you as you entered, it was quite comfy and cozy with its fluffy white rugs and big silky pink cushions on her white bed. On the pink walls, there were a few posters of movie stars like Brad Pitt and MarkyMark Wahlberg and a huge space was covered with photographs.

I didn't recognize the people in most of the pictures, but there were a few of her and Tommy or her and Baggy and then two or three of me and her, which she had taken recently. I made a mental note to ask for a copy of one so I could put it in my room.

Her bed was pushed up against the wall, and on the bedside table, there was a framed picture of herself and Baggy.

Rachel walked over to one of the walls and pulled bright pink curtains back, revealing a large window that I hadn't known was there because the curtains blended so well with the walls.

"Shit - I left my ciggies," I said before walking back out the room and into the living room to find Tommy now asleep on the floor, Baggy still playing the games console, and Billy sprawled across the couch, his black T-shirt raised a little to show his lower stomach muscles whilst he smoked a cigarette.

I was now wearing blue slippers to match my pajamas, and I ran a hand through my hair when I saw Billy laying there. I quickly rushed over to the floor beside the couch and bent down to pick up my cigarettes. As I got up, I could see that Billy, for the first time in weeks, was watching me.

"Die, MOTHERFUCKER - DIE!" Baggy yelled at the TV screen as he shot some zombies. He was so drunk that he was completely oblivious that I was even in the room.

I couldn't help but flash Billy a small smile before retreating back to Rachel's room, closing the door, leaning up against it, and taking a deep breath. Before I had even joined Rachel back on the bed to have a beer, the door opened again and in came Billy.

He closed the door behind him and stood at the end of the bed looking around the room for a few moments before he spoke. Rachel and I just sat there - beers in hand, staring at him blankly.

Billy didn't say anything - just sat at the end of the bed, smirk in place and staring at me and Rachel. I could smell the whiskey emanating from him.

Still nothing. Rachel was now looking at me awkwardly, silently begging me to say something.

"Are you okay?" I asked, trying to obliterate the unwanted tension that was building up in the room.

Billy began looking at Rachel fiercely. It was a silent command for her to leave. Rachel clearly didn't spend a particularly large amount of time with just her and Billy as she didn't know what that look was.

I didn't want Billy's nasty tempter to surface so I spoke up, "Rach, would you-"

"Sure," she said cutting me off. Then she left the room whilst shooting me a questioning look.

We continued just looking at each other for what seemed a lifetime; I wasn't sure if he was going to speak or not. It felt like there was a huge elephant in the room, making the room feel two times smaller than it really was.

In a pathetic attempt to make conversation, I said, "That's a cool teddy bear." I then pointed to a large brown teddy bear that was placed in the corner of Rachel's bedroom, dressed in what I assumed was one of Rachel's pink jackets.

Billy just grunted, and I swore he wanted to say something, but before I knew it he had walked over to the door and roughly pulled it open, revealing Rachel standing there with a glass to the door.

He walked past Rachel, who was now trying to act casual, suddenly finding the glass very interesting and examining it thoroughly.

"That's a cool teddy bear?" Rachel questioned me with raised eyebrows as she re-entered the room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Two weeks later.

"Girls, girls, girls," I sang along quietly to Motley Crew as I wiped the bar down. Angry that my hair kept falling on my face, I threw the cloth down on the bar and roughly tied my hair into a ponytail on the top of my head before walking around the bar, sitting on a stool, and lighting up a cigarette.

Halfway through my cigarette, a miserable looking Joe came and sat down next to me, taking my cigarette from between my fingers and placing it in his own mouth. He took a few drags, then handed it back to me. I smoked the rest of it, stubbed it out, and silently made my way back around the bar.

I could tell that Joe was in a foul mood, so I got him a beer and placed it down in front of him.

"What's up?" I asked him as he began to pick at the bottle's label. Joe looked up, and only then did I notice he had dark warm brown eyes - nothing like his big brother Billy's cold blue ones.

"I'm dropping outta school," said Joe. I looked into his glum face and realized that maybe he didn't actually want to drop out of school. Joe notice that I'd caught on and instantly sat up straight, adjusted his grubby red leather jacket, and placed one of his large grins across his features. But I wasn't buying it. "It's no big deal; I fail most things anyway," he mumbled.

"It doesn't matter if you fail or not. If you fail, you can just improve. What are you good at?" I was trying to encourage him, so he wouldn't drop out of school, but I was sure there was a different motive behind his sudden decision.

"Shop, I guess," Joe murmured slowly, knowing what I was trying to do.

"That's great," I said with a large smile. "And at what do you fail?" I asked. I really didn't want Joe to drop out of school. If he could finish school, it could be his chance to get out of the lifestyle that he and his brother led.

"Most things. English and English Literature," he added quickly at the end. I cocked an eyebrow at him as he looked away and began tugging on his ear. "Ya know, maybe you could tutor me," he said extremely quietly. _So we__'__ve gone from dropping out to wanting a tutor._

"Of course I will, if it will help you stay in school," I said skeptically, thinking about the sudden change.

"Awesome. Come by my place after you finish work," Joe said as he began to get up.

"No. Let's go to my place," I protested. I really didn't want to bump into Billy. "Please."

"I promise Billy won't be there; he's out for the night. If we go to your place, Trigger will come back and rib me for studying." He then began doing his puppy dog eyes.

"You promise Billy won't be there?" I asked firmly, studying his form and trying to figure out if he was lying or not.

Joe placed a hand over his heart before speaking, "I promise."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I stepped into Joe's bedroom, which was just as (if not more) dirty than it had been when I had last been in the room. The small room also smelt of socks, feet, stale smoke, and grime - the same as last time I had entered the room.

Joe began spraying the room with his strong smelling aftershave. "It stinks a bit," Joe mumbled as he continued spraying the spicy scent. I wasn't sure if he was talking about his bedroom in general or his cologne, which was particularly strong and, in my opinion, horrible. But I guess other girls liked it; Joe pulled enough of them for me to know that it must appeal to some women.

I made my way over to his bed, attempting not to stand on the clothing that was thrown carelessly around the room. I hovered by the bed, unsure if I really wanted to sit on it, not knowing who or what had happened in there.

Whilst I lingered by the unmade bed, Joe searched his room for his English books that we would need to study with. He was carelessly throwing dirty items of clothing in the air in his attempt to find the missing books. He roughly threw a pair of dirty boxer shorts in the air, and to my horror, they just missed my head, earning a scowl from me.

As I frowned in annoyance, my head turned slightly to the side, and the picture of the attractive woman and two young boys caught my eyes. I had examined it briefly before, but I had not lingered over the photograph.

I picked it up and looked at the brunette women in the picture. She had friendly face, and a small smile played on her lips. Her blue eyes were exactly the same as the older boy's. I suspected that the boy was Billy, though his eyes weren't cold like they were now; they were bright. Billy had messy brown hair in the picture and a large grin on his face - the same grin I would see plastered across Joe's face so often. But you could still tell that he had seen some awful things. Joe's young face was smiling jubilantly, and his head was resting against his mother's shoulder.

"Is this your mother?" I asked, not taking my eyes off the picture.

Joe didn't look back, just continued searching. "Yeah, it was taken a couple of weeks before she died."

"She was beautiful. What was her name?" Joe turned and looked at me, stood up, and walked over so that he stood next to me, also looking at the photograph.

"Veronica. But everyone called her Ronnie. That's what Billy says anyway." I looked at him with a questioning look, silently asking him what he meant. Joe turned away, leaned down, and began looking under his bed before he continued speaking. "That's the only photo we got of her. Billy gave it to me when I was eight. I was young when she died. I don't remember her. Billy tells me what she was like… well, he _told_ me what she was like. He don't talk about her no more, and there's no way fuckin' Bones will talk about her." I scrunched my nose up in confusion. Wasn't Bones the guy who gave Billy some corners to run before they got some of their own territory? Didn't Billy have to sell drugs for this dodgy Bones character?

"That's the guy Billy works for right?" I asked as I placed the photograph back down, leaning it against an empty beer bottle that was filled with cigarette butts.

"Yeah, and our father." _What?_ My eyebrows shot up. That guy that had turned up at Billy's apartment demanding money the day I was there was Billy and Joe's father? The guy that phoned Billy giving him attitude because he hadn't been by. The guy that put Billy in a terrible mood all day after he'd been to see him. That guy was there father?

I didn't say anything to that. I didn't know what to say. Their own father had them on the streets selling drugs for him. Billy had told me that he had started delivering drugs when he was just twelve years old; had his father made him do it? Of course he had.

Eventually, Joe found his books under a mound of empty cigarette packets and beer bottles in the corner of the room. To my relief, we decided to go into the living room to study; I really didn't want to sit on Joe's floor.

We cleaned up the coffee table, placed the books down on it, and then sat on the ripped leather couch. The couch was surprisingly comfy, and only then did I realize that I had never actually sat on it when I had been in the apartment. I was always busy doing other things.

Twenty minutes later, I was talking to Joe about the character Mercutiofrom the play _Romeo and Juliet_. Joe had to write an essay about Mercutio and his contribution to the play.

"You could say that the character Mercutio is fun, and often his sense of humour is bawdy. You could also say he's imaginative, and you could show that by quoting what he says about Queen Mab-" I stopped talking when the front door opened and in strolled Billy, a cigarette hanging loosely from his mouth.

I shot Joe a death glare, and he smirked a little, got up, and walked into the bathroom. Billy hadn't seen me sitting in his living room yet. He was pouring himself a glass of Jack Daniels. I placed my head in my hands, only looking up when Billy spoke.

He was standing opposite me now, his dark trench coat still on, holding a glass of whiskey in one hand and a cigarette in the other. "What the fuck are you doin' here?" he gruffly asked. His eyes scanned the books that were placed in front of me.

"Uh, helping Joe with his English work," I replied as smoothly as possible. I tried to look confident, sitting up straight and looking him in the eye, but I was subconsciously tugging at the hem of my turquoise and black striped T-shirt, most likely showing Billy that I was slightly nervous.

Billy let out a "pfft" sound before taking a swig of his whiskey and then taking a drag of his cigarette. "Joe dropped outta school last fuckin' week," he said with a smirk.

I scrunched up my eyebrows and watched as Billy shrugged off his trench coat and placed it on the back of one of the two chairs around the circular table that separated the kitchen and living room. He then walked over and sat on the leather couch, putting his big boots up on the coffee table and flicking on the TV with the remote control.

I stood up quickly when he sat down, "I bet you made him drop out!" I said loudly; I couldn't help myself. "Yeah, you probably made him drop out so that he can run some fucking corners in the day."

"What!" Billy bellowed, standing up so that he was looking down at me. Joe walked out of the bathroom, looking anxious. I didn't know what he was playing at. I could have killed him right there and then. Billy and I both snapped our heads towards Joe, and he began tugging at his ear.

"Have you dropped out already?" I asked, unaware of how close Billy was to me.

"Umm… yeah," he said after a short silence. My eyes bulged, and my lips parted slightly. Had he planned it so that I'd be there when Billy returned home? Why? He of all people knew Billy and I weren't exactly on good terms.

"Well, why the fuck am I helping you?" I yelled, getting angry about the situation I had been placed in. Joe looked at Billy for help, but I continued staring at him, determined on finding out why I was there. "Why am I here Joe?" I demanded.

Joe took a deep breath and then began to speak whilst tugging on his ear. "Dude, you've been constantly pissed since you two argued. More pissed than you usually are." What was Joe trying to say? "It's becoming unbearable to live with. You need to fuckin' sort that shit out! And fuckin' tell her the truth about why you ended whatever fuckin' thing you two had goin' on!" Billy's eyes were wide like a mad man, and his nostrils were flaring. Billy was not happy. "I'll leave you guys to it," Joe said, realizing that his brother was probably about to blow. He then rushed towards the front door and quickly left, leaving me standing there alone with Billy, my mouth wide with shock at Joe's explanation for bringing me to his and Billy's apartment. _Fan-fucking-tastic._

What did Joe mean "tell her the truth"? Did Joe mean to say that there was another motive behind Billy's previous actions?

I turned to Billy, a questioning look on my face and my head tilted slightly to the side as I waited for him to tell me the truth. I wanted to know the truth, and I wasn't leaving without it.

After waiting through a few moments of standing there and watching Billy stare at the wall like an insane person, clenching then unclenching and then clenching again his fists I said, "So what is the truth exactly?"

Billy's head turned to look at me, and he quickly shoved a cigarette in his mouth, lighting it before walking into his kitchen and pulling out a beer for himself. "Go home," he said, not even looking at me as he blew smoke out of his mouth and popped the lid off the beer bottle.

I walked up towards him, my eyebrows furrowed. "No." He looked at me, his face expressionless. "I want the truth. I want to know why you lied and made me feel like shit. Why did you hide the real reason behind your sudden decision to get rid of me? What was so important that you couldn't tell me and had to treat me like a common hooker instead?" His eyes were cutting through me now, and he rolled his long-sleeved black shirt up, revealing half of his tattooed arms. "Because that's what you made me feel like, and I know you don't care but-"

"I don't care?" Billy questioned, his neck turning slightly red. He sniffed, wiped under his nose with the hand that was holding his cigarette, then pointed his finger at me as he spoke. "You want part of this life?"

"What?" I asked, completely and utterly confused. _Is he high?_ What was he on about? Billy then chucked his cigarette into his sink and turned the cold faucet over the lit cigarette to put it out. He turned back towards me, his hands resting on his hips.

"Drug dealing. Gangs. Gang wars." Billy said quite casually.

"What has that got to do with anything?" I asked, even more confused. What did any of that have to do with me?

"It's got everything to with it," he spat.

My anger began to grow. Was he trying to say the reason why he had been a dick was because I wasn't part of a gang and didn't deal drugs, and that I didn't exactly approve of any of it? If that was the case, I didn't believe him. We had been sleeping together on and off for seven months; why hadn't it been a problem before if that was the reason?

In seven months, my feelings for him had grown really strong. I didn't want them to, but I couldn't stop it. I still had them then as I argued with him. I wanted to know the truth. Even if he didn't return them, he owed my feelings that much, right?

"It's got nothing to do with it," I said as I walked up to him. "Why won't you tell me the truth, huh?" I pushed against his solid chest; he didn't move. I pushed again. Nothing. I was trying to get a rise out of him, but nothing was happening. "Stop fucking lying and tell me the truth!" I yelled angrily as I continued to push and hit his chest. Billy's neck became redder, and I could see his jaw tightening and his eyes growing wide with anger. He grabbed my hands as they flew towards his chest and held them high so I couldn't hit him.

"You wanna know the truth?!" he yelled, inches away from my face. "If you keep fuckin' me, B street might try to do something to you to get at me now that that little shit knows about us." Somehow I knew he was telling the truth. He had done it because he cared. He must have cared right? He ended it so that I wouldn't get hurt. Strangely, that made my want for him grow a lot.

Slowly, he let go of my hands, and I let them fall to my side. I took a few steps back until I was near one of the kitchen counters, looking into his hard blue eyes. We both stood there looking at each other, for how long I don't know, the TV being the only sound in the background. The more I thought about his reason, the more stupid I thought it was. How would ending whatever we had stop them coming after me? They already know who I was, and they wouldn't know that I wasn't sleeping with Billy anymore. I doubted they were going to come after me at all; they would have done it already. The guy in the car would have known that Billy didn't have girlfriends, and he probably didn't even take much notice of me.

Billy slowly stepped over to me and brushed a strand of hair out of my face before leaning down and capturing his lips with my own. I raised my hand so that it rested on his cheek as he leaned down, kissing me softly.

Soon the kiss become more lustful, aggressive, and passionate as our tongues danced. His hands were placed tightly on my waist, and he staggered forwards, forcing me to walk backwards. I knew where he wanted to go to. His bedroom. I walked backwards, silently agreeing to his silent request, our lips never leaving each other. But I stopped and pulled away as we stood near his bedroom door.

I didn't mean to say it aloud, but it slipped out in a seductive whisper, "Do you want me?"

Billy's lips crashed against mine again, and then he pulled away, slowly began kissing my neck, and gruffly whispered in my ear, "I want you."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sauntering through my apartment, I smiled dreamily to myself whilst thinking about the previous night. At that moment, I was on cloud nine, and I felt like nothing could bring me down from it. I had spent an amazing night in Billy's, followed by an amazing morning with him. When I had woken up, he was still there. He hadn't got up and left me. He lay there awake, his burly hand nestled between the stands of my long blonde hair, stroking it. He quickly removed it when he realized I was indeed awake.

As I walked into my kitchen, the front door opened suddenly, and I knew I had no time to go and hide in my bedroom. There it was; I had come crashing down from cloud nine the moment Trigger walked through the door.

Both of us had successfully avoided being in the room alone together since Violet had announced what Trigger had been doing with a photograph of me and Michelle during his -_ahem-_ leisure time.

Since that shocking revelation, I had stayed in my room if he was in the kitchen or living room, avoiding what could be a difficult and awkward situation. I assume he did the same with me as we hadn't been alone since. But he had been hanging out in the apartment a lot more than usual; at first I wondered why, but Billy had told me that he had told Trigger to keep an eye on me.

He came into the bar with the guys, and it was tense then, except we both tried to act normal. But we didn't fool people who saw us together regularly; Rachel knew something was up, although I kept denying that anything was wrong, and Joe eyed us both, knowing that we weren't our normal selves around one another.

But here he was, standing in front of me, chewing gum, and fumbling the keys that were in his hand. He looked tired and stressed, and I could smell the alcohol oozing from his pores.

"He-" I was about to speak to try and clear the tension filled air between us, but I stopped just as I started when the curly haired Violet appeared behind Trigger, looking ever so happy.

"Hey, Trish," she said with the largest grin I have ever seen in the world. Trigger still stood there awkwardly, and I just wanted the earth to swallow me up, but Violet seemed unaffected by the obvious tense atmosphere.

Violet affectionately began to rub Trigger's broad shoulders before placing a kiss on one of them. She then began speaking to Trigger ever so joyfully. Why wasn't she feeling the awkwardness of the situation? Had she forgiven Trigger? Clearly. But why wasn't she affected either? Why was she so happy? Was she happy that Trigger and I were barely speaking and couldn't be alone together? I had a horrible feeling that was what was making her so elated.

Not wanting to be stuck in the excruciating situation, I gave them both a small smile, and headed back towards my bedroom. I didn't want to be around her excessive happiness at what I suspected to be the slow annihilation of mine and Trigger's close friendship.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I danced around my living room a few weeks later to Guns N' Roses's very popular "Welcome to the Jungle." I was doing my morning dance routine and was thrilled that I had just done the splits. I hadn't been able to do them since I quit ballet after my father died.

I still had my ballet shoes, but I had not put them on since the day my father had died. They were a part of my old life - my old life in Washington.

My excitement about being able to do the splits helped me forget about the ongoing situation between myself and Trigger. We were talking more, but there was still tension there, even more when his ever so happy girlfriend would turn up

I spun around quickly and was shocked to see Joe standing there, a cigarette placed loosely between his fingers and his trademark grin plastered across his face. Even more shocking was that he was wearing a white vest and red boxers.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, feeling very self-conscious as I stood there in tiny grey booty shorts and a very tight fitted grey crop-top.

"I slept on the couch. When Trigger left this mornin', I went into his bed," Joe answered before taking a drag of his cigarette. He then made his way into the kitchen and opened the fridge, looking for something to eat. I didn't say anything; he always did it and always said the same thing after he opened it. "Why have you got so much fuckin' fruits and vegetables?"

And I'd always give him the same answer. "Because I like that sort of food. You should try eating healthy sometime; you'd feel much better." He then let out a grunt and walked off into the bathroom.

I continued dancing around to some lively song that had come on, frequently doing the splits just because I could.

_She said she__'__d take me anywhere_

_She__'__d take me anywhere_

_As long as she stayed clean._

"Hey," I said into the phone after seeing "Craig" pop up on the screen. _I have got to change my ringtone._

"_I am addicted,__"_Craig admitted sheepishly. I knew what he was on about - he was on about the Harry Potter books. He had put off reading them for a few months, claiming that they'd be boring, but I had finally gotten him to read them.

"Ha! You owe me twenty bucks," I said, after mocking his previous perception of the books. "And don't try and get out of it; we all know you can afford it." Craig's occupation was a male escort. His good looks and charming personality earned him big bucks as he accompanied mostly older women to weddings, business functions, or even out to dinner. He would act like he was their real date for any occasion they needed one. As long as the price was right.

He had attempted to try and get me to work for the company he did, saying I had the right look for it, and, I must say, the offer was tempting. I would be earning a lot more money, meaning I'd be able to pay my bills and college fees off. But I wasn't sure about it; it could all get messy if the "date" expected more from you.

I continued talking to Craig for awhile before hanging up, walking into my bedroom, and bending over to pick up some towels that were folded in a neat pile on my floor. Someone lightly slapped my bottom.

I turned around to see Billy standing there, cigarette in mouth as always.

"I didn't expect to see you today," I said before leaning up and capturing his lips with mine for a small soft kiss. "Did you come to pick up Joe?"

He nodded, then sniffed, and rubbed under his nose. "Yeah. And you." He then picked me up, crashed his lips against mine, and walked over to the bed, placing me down on it and then kissing me again.

"Billy…" I said through giggles. "Stop." He continued to kiss my neck, then my chest. "Stop," I said more firmly.

He looked up at me, his blue eyes glazed over with lust. His hands were still holding my waist tightly, keeping me with him. "I need to shower, and then Rachel's coming over." Craig was supposed to be coming over too, but I thought it was best if I didn't mention that. Billy was a little uptight when it came to Craig, and Billy and I were doing great, so I didn't want to cause the argument that I was sure would begin if I mentioned that Craig was coming over.

Since Billy and I had made up, things were wonderful between us. I hadn't seen him with any other women, we were openly together, and whereas before all we did when we were alone was have sex, now we actually hung out as well. Were we in a relationship? I had no idea, but I was loving what we had. I had even got over the fact that he was a drug dealer and a leader of a gang.

Billy just grunted and placed another small kiss on my lips before getting up and pulling out a cigarette as he had stubbed his first cigarette out in the ashtray next to my bed, without me even noticing. I got up off the bed and got myself a cigarette.

We both made our way into the living room where Joe sat, a cigarette in his hand also, but he was now dressed. "That was quick," he murmured.

Billy strolled into the bathroom as if he didn't have a care in the world, leaving me and Joe standing alone in the living room.

"I still haven't forgiven you," I said. Joe gave me a questioning look. "You know what I'm on about. Your little scheme to get me and Billy to make up."

Joe's grin became wider, and he looked a lot like Billy had in the picture of Billy, Joe, and their mother in Joe's bedroom. "That was over a month ago, and it was funny. Your face." He let out a low chuckle before taking a drag of his cigarette. "I did a good deed. He was heartbroken," he said faking seriousness.

"You think your funny, don't you?" I asked sweetly with a small smile.

"I'm a fuckin' stand- up comic, I am," he said seriously.

I let out a small giggle as Billy walked out of the bathroom. His eyebrows were raised; I wondered if he had heard our playful conversation.

"Are ya workin' tonight?" Billy asked as he came over and placed his two burly hands on my waist.

"Nope."

"I'll come by later," said Billy before he leaned in and gave me a small kiss on the lips.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Rachel and I walked down the rough looking streets, talking arm in arm. I had been called into work, so Rachel and I were heading down to the bar, where I would work and she would get drunk. Craig hadn't come to hang out with us; he had decided to take a last minute job that would pay for his groceries that week.

"So he just said that he wasn't sure if he wanted to do it anymore?" I questioned Rachel, whose long dark blond hair was tied carelessly up, and who wore no make-up on her face. She just nodded, not wanting to confirm what Tommy had said to her earlier that day. "What an asshole," I muttered.

"I don't want to talk about him," Rachel spluttered out. After walking for a few moments in silence, she spoke up again - only this time in a much bubblier manner that I was used to hearing come out of her mouth. "Hey! So your sister's getting married next week. You must be psyched."

"Yeah. I wanted to ask you - do you wanna come? I'm supposed to bring a guest," I asked enthusiastically, knowing that shopping for an outfit and the excitement of potentially meeting sexy men would extremely excite Rachel.

She gave me a huge smile before it fell quite suddenly. "What about Billy? Should he go with you?"

"Billy. Like he'd want to go. Anyway I want you to come," I said cheerfully.

Rachel and I both continued walking towards the bar, both in seemingly good spirits. I listened when Rachel spoke about what type of outfit she was going to wear to the wedding

We rounded the corner just in time to see Billy standing by his car with a raven haired girl hugging him tightly. Rachel and I both stopped, watching to see what was taking place. The girl was still hugging Billy, and then she kissed him on the cheek and giggled her way into his car. Billy just stood there, smoking the cigarette that he had between his fingers.

Although it was just a kiss on the cheek, a big green jealous monster came alive inside of me, and I just wanted to slap the girl and Billy.

I couldn't get a good look at the girl as she and Billy were quite far away. Furious, I continued walking with Rachel, whose mouth was slightly open, not knowing what to say.

As we got closer, Billy squinted his eyes and clearly saw me coming. He stood there looking over at me, a small smile playing on his lips as if he was expecting me to go over and greet him. I didn't - just walked straight past him and towards the bar.

Rachel glanced over her shoulder and said that Billy stared at the back of me fiercely before roughly throwing his cigarette to the ground and then speeding off in his rumbling car.

Rachel said that the girl looked familiar to her, but she couldn't place a name with her face. I didn't care; clearly things weren't as wonderful as I thought they were.

I stood behind the bar in a foul mood for the first hour of the night, only cheering up when Billy walked in with Bodie. I wasn't going to show him he'd gotten to me.

Billy walked up towards the bar, his eyebrows furrowed and his jaw clenched. I could see that he was irritated. "What the fuck-" I interrupted him.

"I'm sorry, but I'm busy," I said before walking off and serving an old anxious looking alcoholic at the other end of the bar. The man stared back and forth between Billy and I, probably not wanting to get on the bad side of Billy and scared that somehow I was going to put him there.

After serving the man, I walked back down towards where Rachel was sitting at the bar. Billy and Bodie were now at their usual table, and Billy's hard eyes stared at me angrily as I spoke with Rachel.

"Bodie says they want two beers and two shots." I made the drinks, but I asked Rachel to take them over to Billy and Bodie for me.

Within five minutes of Billy being at the bar, two police officers entered. They were dressed in normal clothes, but when they came up to the bar and asked for two orange juices, I saw one's badge and gun as they pulled their wallets out.

They were both big men dressed in suits. One had a bald head like Billy, the other a small golden ponytail tied tightly. They both watched Billy and Bodie intently; they were obviously keeping track on them for some reason.

Billy stared back at them, then towards me, and then back towards the men. His nostrils were flaring now. He didn't take kindly to being watched by the police.

_She said she__'__d take me anywhere_

_She__'__d take me anywhere_

_As long as she stayed clean._

"Alex!" I squeaked as I answered the phone to one of my best friends, my mood changing instantly to happiness.

"_Hey babe, how__'__s it going?__" _he asked in his usual croaky, rough voice. I continued talking to him for about half an hour, resulting in Rachel coming behind the bar and serving people for me. He took particular interest in the name of the bar I was working in, although I had told him before. I thought nothing of it; he tended to forget where I worked every time I mentioned it to him. I chuckled to myself as he hung up, saying his mother was on the other line and she'd kill him if he didn't pick up.

Rachel now headed back towards the stools by the bar as I wiped the bar down. I knew Billy had begun staring at me and the police officers again. In a way, I was regretting ignoring him. He was going to be doubly pissed because the cops had showed up.

"Hottie by the door!" Rachel said as I looked down towards Billy's table, a frown in place because I could see how angry Billy was.

I looked around and began grinning from ear to ear; I jumped over the bar and jumped on the newcomer, wrapping my legs around his waist and hugging him tightly, not caring that Billy was probably going to kill me. Only caring that my best friend Alex had just showed up.

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	12. Arguing and drunken making up

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And thanks to my amazing beta Wisery

"Yo ho, yo ho. A pirate's life for me!" I sang drunkenly as Alex climbed my apartment building's steps with me on his back and his duffle bag on my back. He was freakishly strong.

Earlier in the evening when Alex had unexpectedly turned up, I had leaped over the counter like a child running towards her new toys, jumped on Alex, and wrapped myself around him. Probably not a good idea since Billy was only sitting a few yards away; I'm sure he would have done something if those cops hadn't been there.

After embracing Alex for a few moments, I turned around, grabbed my phone, and asked Rachel to cover my shift. I didn't give her time to answer; I just scurried out of there, dragging Alex along with me.

We headed towards a quiet bar, far away from the Four Roses, and spent our night drinking and catching up. It felt so good being able to hear his croaky voice without having a phone to my ear. It felt so amazing being able to sit opposite him and watch as he clicked his jaw repeatedly. It was a habit that used to thoroughly annoy me, but now all I could do was smile at it. I don't think that the massive smile left my face until we walked into my apartment.

"Have you put on weight?" Alex joked as he climbed the last step, earning a slap on the head from me. "I'm joking - I think my bag weighs more than you." He held on tightly to the back of my legs as I chuckled and attempted to wriggle my way off his back. But he held his firm grip on me tightly. "No, I'm gonna take you to your door. Which door's yours?"

I pointed ahead at the first door in the hallway, and he quickly took steps towards it, almost falling into the door as he got there. I tightened my grip around his neck, smelling his cologne - the same spicy scent that he had sprayed all over my favorite book, _Pride and Prejudice__,_before he left for New York. That smell was gone now.

He pushed open the door and stumbled into the apartment, laughing and causing me to fall off his back. I almost landed on the floor, but Alex wrapped his arm around my waist and helped me stand back up. We were laughing so hard at nothing in particular that we hadn't noticed the three people sitting in the living room.

I chucked Alex's bag down on the floor and looked up towards the living room; suddenly my face dropped as I saw Billy, Joe and Trigger sitting there.

Billy's was giving me such a glare that if looks could kill, I'd be pushing up daisies. His neck was red, and a vein popped out of it furiously. He looked like he was going to explode with anger. Joe just stared at Alex and me, a mixture of a confusion and anxiety covered his face. Trigger looked down at his hands, clearly uncomfortable with all the tension building in the room.

Billy suddenly stood up and quickly made his way towards Alex and me. He stared Alex down before angrily saying, "What the fuck you think you're doin' with my girl?"

Alex stood there, looking confused and quite terrified. I hadn't told Alex about Billy.

Alex was strong but not a fighter. He was the quarterback of our high school football team, but he completely broke the stereotype. He was friends with everyone, didn't cheat on his high school girlfriends, respected his family and friends, passed most of his classes, and didn't start fights; most of the time he would just walk away from them.

And what the hell was Billy on about? _His _girl? And how dare he get in one of my best friends' faces?

"Billy, look-" I was interrupted by Alex, who spoke very calmly.

"Look man, you got this all wrong-" He was interrupted by a fuming Billy.

"I got it wrong?" Billy spat through clenched teeth before roughly pushing Alex up against the front door. Alex's face remained calm as I jumped in front of him. I felt that my anger was at a boiling point.

How dare he lay his hands on one of my best friends?

Joe and Trigger sat there watching, probably thinking that Alex deserved what was going to come to him - neither of them stood up to do something.

"Billy, back off!" I yelled as I tried to push him away from Alex. With one swift movement, Billy forcefully pushed me out of the way, causing me to crash to the floor.

It was only then that Joe and Trigger both stood up, though they didn't seem to know what to do. I can safely say the drunken buzz I had been feeling had disappeared by this point.

"What the fuck, man?" Alex gruffly yelled at Billy as he leaned down to help me off the hard floor. But just as he kneeled down to help me, Billy swung his fist in the air and sent it crashing into Alex's jaw, causing Alex to stumble backwards. Before Alex even had time to compose himself, Billy pulled out his gun and pointed it at Alex's head. Alex's eyes were wide with terror as he looked into the barrel of the gun.

Billy looked insane. His eyes bulged, and his neck was red. His jaw clenched tightly, and his nostrils flared more than I had ever seen before. His hand gripped the gun so tightly parts of his fingers had gone white.

I stood up instantly and stood in front of Billy and his gun. I didn't think he'd shoot me; well, I hoped he wouldn't. But I had never seen Billy look so crazed, and it was very unsettling not knowing if he would pull the trigger. I knew he was capable of it, and I knew he had probably shot someone before. Deep down, I had my suspicions that he had killed as well, although I placed those thoughts in the back of my mind. I couldn't think about them. I didn't want to think about them.

"Move!" Billy spat through clenched teeth.

"Billy, Alex is my best friend. Please." I pleaded with him with my eyes as well. They swelled with watery tears that threatened to drop at any second. I couldn't have been in that situation, standing in front of Billy and trying to reason with him to stop pointing a gun at the one guy who had stuck by me through thick and thin since I was sixteen, the one guy who I could always turn to. The one guy who I loved like a brother. "Billy, would you just put the gun down?" Billy stared past me at a slumped Alex on the floor. I raised my hand, a little unsure of what I was doing until my hand rested on Billy's hand, which was wrapped around the gun. Billy's eyes were slits as he turned them to me. "Please," I whispered as the first tear fell down my cheek. I applied pressure in an attempt to push Billy's hand down, and seconds later, his hand that was holding the gun dropped down towards his waist. But he still looked insane.

Joe walked up behind Billy and lightly slapped him on the shoulder, "C'mon, man. Let's go."

I turned towards Alex, who was now on his feet looking between Billy and myself. His lip was cut badly, so I gently led him into the bathroom where I could clean it up with the first aid kit.

Billy's hard eyes followed us as we walked into the bathroom, but they soon dropped as he headed out the front door with Joe, slamming it behind them.

After patching Alex up in silence, we headed towards the living room, where Trigger was sitting. As we entered, he stood up awkwardly and headed into his bedroom.

"I'm sorry about that," I murmured as I sat beside Alex on the couch. "I didn't know he would react like that. I thought he would just be a bit pissed after seeing me jump on you in the bar." I rested my head on his shoulder, and he wrapped his arm around me.

"So your boyfriend's a bit of a psycho. Nice," he replied with a chuckle. I was so happy that Alex wasn't pissed off at me because of what had occurred. I sat up quickly.

"Billy's not my boyfriend," I replied. Alex raised his eyebrows. "He's just Billy. Just Billy." I said as Alex clicked his bruising jaw.

"Well, Just Billy is pretty scary. With his tattoos and his creepy eyes. What his profession?" _Shit! Why does everybody always want to know what he does__?_

I decided to be honest with Alex; what was the worst that could happen? "He'sadrugdealer!" I said in all one breath. Alex squinted his eyes at me, showing that that he hadn't understood a word that I had said. "He's a drug dealer," I finally said slowly. "And no, I am not back on drugs." I knew he was going to ask me that.

"A dealer?" he rhetorically asked calmly. I just nodded slowly, waiting for the fatherly lecture I was sure to receive. "What the fuck are you thinking?" There it was. "Do you know how dangerous he must be? I-" he stopped when Trigger walked out of his bedroom.

"I'm going over Violet's," he mumbled as he passed, quickly exiting the apartment.

"Why are you with someone like him? You know you can do so much better," Alex inquired whilst he pushed some of his black hair out of his face.

Without a second thought, I blurted out, "Because I love him!" _You love him? You __can't__ love him. _"Oh god. I love him. Shit. Shit. Shit," I said more to myself than anyone else. How could I love him? He had never done anything to make me love him. I couldn't love him. I just couldn't. How could I love someone who would never love me back? How could I have not known that I loved him?

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_Bang! Bang! Bang!_

I stared at the front door, my eyebrows furrowed together. If Trigger had forgotten his keys again, I was going to kill him. I yanked the blanket off me, got off the couch, and stretched. I had given my bed to Alex; I didn't think I was going to get much sleep after realizing the true depth of feelings I had for Billy. Slowly, I ran a hand through my long hair as I padded across the room towards the door.

_Bang! Bang! Bang!_

"Who is it?" I said through the door, wary of opening it to someone who had been violently banging on it at three in the morning.

"It's me," I heard Billy's gruff voice through the door. I stood still, frozen on the spot. Was I supposed to open the door to him? I wasn't sure if I wanted to. What if I blurted out that I loved him? "Open the door, Trish."

I stared at the door, not knowing what to do. "Why should I?" I asked through the door.

I heard Billy let out an aggravated sigh before speaking. "Just open it!" Slowly, I began to unlock the locks, and once they were all unlocked I took a deep breath before opening the door a few inches.

Billy was standing there, staring down at me; his icy blue eyes penetrated my whole body, causing the small hairs on my arms to stand up. I looked down at his feet, not wanting to look into his piercing eyes. "Are ya gonna let me in?" Slowly, my eyes rose to look at him, and then I pushed the door open quickly, deep down knowing I'd probably regret the decision later on. Billy strutted through the apartment until he was standing near the couch. It was damn hard to see him as the only light that was in the room was the glow from the muted TV set. I walked over to the light switch and flicked the lights on, knowing I'd feel much better if I could see everything Billy was doing. I knew we would end up arguing, I just hoped we didn't wale up Alex."Where's your friend?" Billy gruffly asked, pulling out his box of cigarettes and placing one in his mouth.

"Alex is in my bed. Don't worry – I'm sleeping on the couch," I said bitterly as I stood opposite him. I waited a few moments for him to speak, but he didn't - just stood there, smoking his cigarette. "Well? What do you want?"

Quickly, he placed his cigarette in an ashtray and made his way over to me; he placed his burly hands on my waist and tried to bring his lips towards mine, but I roughly pushed him away.

"What do you want from me?" Billy asked bitterly as he took a step back, realizing that I was still pissed. Had he expected me to have already forgiven him?

"What do I want?" I was surprised at myself as I let out a laugh like a crazy woman. "It doesn't matter what I want because you will never give me anything that I want." It was my turn to be bitter. Billy's head tilted to the side slightly, and I could see his jaw was clenched. I began yelling. "You can't just swan on in here and try to kiss me after what you did. Not everything can be solved like that. It doesn't work that way! You punched my best friend in the mouth and pointed a fucking gun at him because he came to visit me and made me happier than I have been in a long time-"

"What - so I was just meant to sit back and let him paw my girl?" Billy angrily retaliated.

"I am not your girl! And I will never be your girl unless you learn how to respect me and my friends and practice some fucking monogamy!"

"What?" Billy asked confused. I folded my arms over my chest and gave him a cold hard glare.

"Don't act dumb. I saw you with that black haired girl earlier. You like them young, huh? How old was she - sixteen? Seventeen?"

Billy let out a dry chuckle and gave me a smile that I rarely saw. A smile that showed he was truly amused. This only angered me more.

"Stacey is Spink's little sister. She was thanking me for helping Spink scare off her asshole boyfriend."

"Oh, so I'm not the only one with an asshole boyfriend?!" I said softly, meaning to offend. _Wait. Did I just confirm that I was his girl? _Billy smirked slightly. "Oh, would you just go?" His smirk completely disappeared; apparently he thought he had almost won my forgiveness. But I wasn't even mad about that Stacey girl anymore. It had gone completely beyond that. I stormed over to the front door and roughly yanked it open. "Go! Now!" Billy stormed towards me, slammed the palm of his hand against the wall near my hand, creating a large banging noise, and left the apartment, not even looking at me as he did so.

I stood there and closed my eyes before closing the ajar door and placing the locks back on. I headed back over to the couch and threw myself down on it, only hearing Alex's snores.

"At least somebody's getting some sleep," I mumbled before throwing my blanket over my head.

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I stared at myself in the mirror before brushing a loose wave of hair out of my face. It was Anna's hen party, and she had decided that she wanted to go out dressed as sexy gangsters.

I was dressed in an overlarge white man's shirt that came to the middle of my thighs. The first three buttons were undone, and it had _Maid of Honor _sewn in black on the back. I wasn't wearing a dress or a skirt; the shirt supposedly served as a dress, although normally I didn't feel this uncomfortable wearing a dress. A black tie hung loosely around my neck, and black bowler hat was perched on top of my head, my sandy locks falling in loose waves from under it. The whole outfit was set off with knee high black boots and a black cane.

Unconsciously, I pouted my blood red lips as I touched up my lipstick before heading out of my bedroom and into my living room.

Anna was dancing around it to "Like a Virgin" by Madonna, her poker straight brown hair streaked with blonde ready for her wedding the very next day. Anna wore a small pair of black shorts with braces going over her shoulders with a long sleeved black shirt that only came to the middle of her abdomen, an untied white bow tie around her shoulders, and a white veil.

"You wish you were a virgin," I joked as I walked by her. She replied by giving me the finger.

Alex had gone to spend the night with his sister, not wanting to be around me when I came home- he hated being around drunk people when he was sober.

Ten minutes later, I was piling into a car filled with Anna's hens, who all dressed similarly to me. Alas, all but one of them wore shorts or skirts under their shirts, making myself and the other a girl, a sweet red head named Chelsea, feel more than a bit uncomfortable.

As we drove near the bar, I asked the woman who was driving to pull into the car park so that I could run in and get my pay quickly. I was slightly anxious as we pulled into the car park; I hadn't seen Billy since the night I had asked him to leave my apartment, and although I doubted that he would be in the bar this early (it was only six thirty PM and he normally came in at the earliest of eight), I was still scared that one of his goons would be there and would tell him what I was wearing. However I knew Sammy wouldn't give my pay to anyone but me, so I had to go in.

I breathed a sigh of relief as I looked around and saw that neither Billy's nor Heco's car were in the car park, and they were the two main cars the guys used. As I walked in, I passed a white van but thought nothing of it. I smiled towards Rachel, who was wiping the bar down as Sammy served an old man. Craig sat at the bar, drinking a beer with his brown hair spiked up. I smiled broadly at them as I walked in, not bothering to look down towards the gang's table until I heard a wolf whistle.

Looking down, I could see most of the gang was there, including Billy. I didn't understand why Billy's and Heco's cars weren't there as they both clearly sat at the table, looking at me.

It was Joe who had whistled, and I saw Billy smack him around the back of his head. I turned my head back to Rachel and desperately asked her to get my pay quickly.

I began speaking to Craig in a horrible attempt to try and forget that Billy was mere feet away from me. I hadn't yet forgiven him for what he had done, but I found myself unable to stop thinking about him. Yet I was terrified of seeing him, especially after he had seen my outfit for the hen party.

Rachel rushed and gave me my pay, and I quickly leaned over the bar to give her a peck on the cheek, forgetting how short my shirt was.

Another wolf whistle from Joe, and I turned around and gave him the finger, causing the gang to make an "oh" noise, before walking out, my boots clopping with every step I took.

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_Knock Knock Knock_

I drunkenly stood outside Billy's apartment after my night out with Anna. I had been drinking cocktails all night, and I can only presume they had whiskey in them because I had the great idea to go see Billy and surprise him.

Joe opened the door, a gun in his hand and his eyes filled with sleep. He furrowed his eyebrows together as I stood in the doorway, grinning like an idiot "Shhhh!" I said, placing a finger to my lips. I stumbled into the untidy apartment uninvited and turned around to see Joe closing the door and scratching his head with the gun.

"The fuck, Trish? It's five AM," Joe said quietly before yawning.

"I'm'a surprise Billy," I said, thinking I was whispering though I was talking really loud. "Tell him that I am his girl," I mumbled before turning on my heel and stumbling through the apartment. I'm surprised I didn't fall over in my drunken state.

"I don't even think Billy's here," Joe murmured as he went back into his bedroom.

As quietly as I could, I opened Billy's bedroom door and snuck in. I placed my cane down as I crawled onto the bed.

Billy was sleeping on his stomach, his back bare and a sheet draped over his lower half. It was surprising how heavy sleeper Billy really was because anyone else would have woken up if someone began crawling into their bed, their boots still on, stinking of alcohol and stale smoke. But Billy was probably stunk of it too.

I leaned down, and my bowler hat fell off and rolled off Billy's bed. I began kissing the back of Billy's neck and his broad shoulders, leaving red lipstick stains all over his body.

One of Billy's eyes opened groggily, quickly being followed by the other when he saw me there. He sat up tiredly, forcing me to stop kissing him and just look at him with a drunken smirk. I placed my arms around his neck as he rubbed his eyes.

"What the fuck ya doin' here?" he asked gruffly.

"I missed you," I whispered huskily before crashing my lips against his. His unshaven chin and upper lip brushed roughly against my soft skin as he kissed me back hungrily. He wrapped his arms around my back, pulling me to him.

It felt so good being that close to him again; I couldn't help but smile against the kiss. The kiss deepened, and I ran my tongue over the bottom of his lip, requesting for his lips to part so that our tongues could meet. He opened his mouth, allowing my tongue entrance and allowing me to feel the pleasure of our tongues dancing. Billy ran his big hands down so that they rested on the back of my thighs before pulling me to him so that I was straddling his sitting form. I began giggling against his lips before pulling away.

"Help me take off my boots," I softly demanded as I climbed off him and began unzipping one whilst Billy did the other. Just before Billy was about the throw my boot to his floor, I began speaking. "My mom bou-" I was cut off by Billy's forceful kiss. I pushed Billy down on his bed and jumped on top of him before hungrily attacking his muscled torso with my lips. "Too many clothes," I purred into his ear before kissing his neck once and sitting up so that he could begin to undress me. Billy began unbuttoning my shirt, not bothering to take the tie off. "Me, Anna and this girl were dancing on tables, and this girl fell off and broke her foot," I laughed drunkenly. Billy paid no attention to me whatsoever as he continued unbuttoning my shirt, and after getting stuck on a particularly tricky button in the middle, he just ripped the shirt open. I just giggled before shrugging the shirt off and throwing it in some obscure corner.

I leaned back down, my lips locking with Billy's once more as his hands roamed my body. Soon he had taken off both my black lacy bra and lacy French knickers, and I laid there in just a black tie as he fumbled around in his wallet, looking for a condom.

Soon he was on top of me, kissing me passionately, while he attempted to nudge open my legs with his knee. I pulled away from the kiss, gently biting down on his bottom lip before smiling drunkenly up at him. "You know I'm quite tired," I said as he looked into my creamy eyes with his icy ones. He let out a small grunt before leaning down and kissing me quickly on the lips once more before getting off me and settling beside me, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"Go to sleep," Billy said, kissing me once on the shoulder before closing his eyes, and allowing me to sink into his loving embrace.


	13. Gun magnet

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Please review this one, and let me know what you think about it.

And a massive thanks to Wisery :D

Alex, Rachel, and I sat at the bar in my sister's wedding reception, chugging back champagne and trying to drown out the overwhelming happiness and love that emanated from both the bride and the groom.

Don't get me wrong - I was ecstatic for my sister, but you know when you're in weddings and you see the newlyweds so happy and in love you end up wondering if it is even possible for you to have even a fraction of the love they have for one another with someone else. That was happening to the three of us.

I was wondering how I ended up falling in love with a gang lord, who would probably never return my feelings. I knew he was fond of me, but in a way, it felt like the sort of fondness a child has for a new toy until they get bored of it or get a newer model. And even if Billy ever did return my feelings, which I doubted, we would never have anything like Anna and Barry. We would never have a lavish wedding or dinner parties with our married friends. _Oh my God__ –__you're__ thinking about marriage. Get another glass of champagne now!_

Rachel wondered about her and Tommy. She had finally found out the real reason why Tommy had ended their love affair, and it was all because he had been seeing another woman, who wasn't nearly as pretty as Rachel but didn't have a protective brother who was best friends with Tommy. Rachel wasn't as down as I thought she would be; she had had fun in the wedding, flirting with most of the men, but now just after seeing the happy couple have their first dance she was wondering if she would ever have anything like that.

Alex, on the other hand, was not wondering if he would have anything like that. He didn't want anything like that unless it was with one certain girl. A girl he had been in love with for almost twelve years, and a girl who was his best friend. At that moment she was touring Europe with her asshole French boyfriend, Pier. Michelle was the only girl Alex had ever wanted; he loved everything about her. Her wacky hair, her sense of humor… He even loved the way she had painted all over his apartment bedroom walls; although he had never told her, he knew that she knew. She was perfect in Alex's eyes, and it hurt him immensely to know that in a few years he might be sitting at a wedding nothing like Anna's, most likely in Vegas, watching the love of his life marry another man.

I flicked one of my curly tendrils out of my face just as Zack, my ex-boyfriend, walked up to the three of us. I didn't even know why he was there; it wasn't like he had anything to do with the family now, but his father was there also, meaning my step-dad must have invited them. His well-combed blond hair was slicked back, and he wore white suit trousers, and a silk shirt that probably cost thousands. He walked with an air of arrogance that made me wonder how I could have missed it when I was with him. It wasn't a cool sexy arrogance like Billy had either; it was the type of arrogance that you were repulsed by.

"Hello, Trish," he said friendlily, leaning on the bar between me and Rachel.

"Hey," I said, mimicking his friendly tone before downing the contents of my champagne glass. I was beginning to feel tipsy, so I ordered water; I didn't think it would sit well with my sister if I got wasted at her wedding party.

Zack ordered himself a whiskey before nodding towards Rachel and speaking, "Who's your friend?"

"That's Rachel, and you know Alex," I replied before getting out of my seat and rummaging through my purse for a cigarette.

"I do," Zack replied dryly before turning his attention to Rachel. "I'm Zack."

I got up and announced I was heading outside for a cigarette only to be closely followed by Alex.

We headed through the beautiful decorated hall; the balloons were pale pink and white, and all the flowers were white and pink roses. Anna had originally wanted lilies (both my and Anna's favorite flower), but after being reminded that those flowers were traditionally for funerals, she decided against them. The tables were draped in both pale pink and white cloths, and white and pink rose petals were scattered across every table.

My long, strapless, pale pink dress with a white ribbon just under the bust flowed carelessly as I walked through the building with Alex at my side.

A warm breeze drifted through the air outside, making it very comfortable to be outside whilst having a cigarette.

Standing near one of the benches with outdoor lights wrapped around its wooden frame, I lit my cigarette and stared into the lit up grounds of the old manor house where the wedding reception was being held.

"You know they'll kill you," Alex commented as he stared out into the beautiful grounds also, his hands deep in his pockets.

"Maybe, but my money's on liver failure," I said with a small smile as I turned to look at him. Alex's hair was styled as it usually was, and he wore a pair of dark trousers and a blue shirt that really brought out the coloring of the purple/blue bruise that covered most of his jaw. "Chelle quit yet?"

"Yeah. Speaking of Michelle, you heard from her?" Alex asked trying his best to sound casual, but I could hear the worried tone in his voice. Neither of us had heard from her in weeks, and with her being in Europe somewhere, it was impossible to get hold of her. We had both thought and hoped she might have phoned that day to congratulate Anna or something; they had always gotten on well.

I just shook my head no and continued smoking my cigarette as Alex let out a long sigh. "You tell her you're in love with her yet?" I asked, not even looking at his face, which I knew would be an 'O' shape. Every time I brought up his love for her, he was always shocked that I knew as he had never orally told me.

"I'm…n-not in love with her," he lied, suddenly unable to meet my eyes when I turned to look at him.

"Pfffft. Everyone knows it. Everyone can see it. Except for her. It's quite shocking really," I commented as I took the last drag of my cigarette before stubbing it out in one of the designated ashtrays.

Before Alex could reply, Rachel's voice came from behind us. "Jesus, that ex of yours is a right arrogant bastard," Rachel said. "'My family owns this, my family owns that.' Sheesh," she said, obviously imitating his previous words.

The three of us stood there talking, all clearly enjoying the cool air when I heard my step-father's silky voice from behind me and the chilling laughter from my mother. _Oh God._

I turned slightly, suddenly feeling the urge for another cigarette when my mother saw me and rushed over. Her knee high, V-neck, cream dress swayed elegantly with every step she took, and her large cream hat covered most of her short cut blonde hair.

My mother lips were pursed together as she stepped closer to the three of us, finally reaching her destination, leaning in, and kissing me briefly on both cheeks; a gesture I wasn't expecting as I hadn't spoken to her properly in almost a year. She stepped back slightly, her head now raised to reveal her wrinkle-free face; she had obviously gotten herself a taste for Botox. Her face looked nothing like that when I lived at home. Her gray eyes were almost as sharp as her tongue, and her thin lips looked almost invisible as she smiled at me. The only thing I had inherited from her was my blonde hair.

"Rachel, this is my mother Sharon. Mom, this is Rachel," I said before rummaging through my white purse and getting out another cigarette.

My mother just nodded at Rachel before speaking to me once more. "So who's this fellow that Anna tells me you have been seeing?" _I am going to kill Anna. _"Anna says he's a lovely man and a gentleman also." _I love you Anna. _Both Rachel and Alex were looking at my mother stupid. "Can I expect wedding bells for my youngest soon?"

"'How are you, Trish? How's school, Trish?' That's how one normally greets another after almost a year, Mom - not dive straight into their love life," I said before taking a drag of my newly lit cigarette. "How's things anyway?" I asked, attempting to be civilized.

"Super," she replied with a large smile, showing us all her glossy white teeth. "Come and say hello to George." _It__'__s going to be a long night._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I'm going to miss you," I said glumly to Alex, who was about to leave for New York again. How long would it be before I saw him again? Six months? A year? I didn't want to think about it.

Alex came towards me and wrapped me in a loving embrace; I wrapped my arms tightly around his back, not wanting him to go. I could feel salty tears swelling in my eyes, and I knew they were going to fall at any moment. One, two, three. The first tear flowed gracefully down my cheek, quickly followed by others. "Don't cry," Alex said comfortingly, holding me tighter. "It's summer break soon; I'll come visit again, or you can come up to New York." I just nodded my head into his chest.

Alex eventually broke the embrace and placed a light kiss on my head before walking backwards towards his car. "If you hear anything from Michelle, let me know," I declared as I wiped away a tear.

"Yeah. You too, okay?" I just nodded my head and smiled at him as he winked before getting into his car and slamming the door shut. He rolled his window down and stuck his head out of it. "I'll see you around, Tee." He then pulled his head back in the car and drove off.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

One week later.

"I'm busy." I smiled triumphantly as Billy got someone else to cover his shift. "Heco, I'll beat your ass down to the ground if you're not down by that underpass in ten minutes." Why did he have to be aggressive? I'm sure Heco would go without whining if Billy asked politely. I tossed the book I was reading down on my lap and looked up at Billy with wide eyes; my head was rested on his lap, and his burly hand was entwined in me sandy locks. "Ten fuckin' minutes!"

"You could of said please," I suggested to him before going back to reading my book. He didn't reply - just reached over to his coffee table, grabbed his cigarettes, and continued watching some random TV show. We stayed like that for over an hour, rarely speaking, just me lying on his black leather couch, my head resting comfortably on his lap while he watched TV, his hand unconsciously playing with my hair. Our free hands were entwined on my chest, and every so often, he would bring my hand to his lips and brush a soft, delicate kiss against it, making me smile like a Cheshire cat.

I chucked my book and reading glasses carelessly on Billy's coffee table, sitting up and kissing him tenderly before leaning against his bare shoulder as he wrapped an arm around me. I wanted to ask Billy if he wanted me to clean his apartment for him as it was rather messy, and I hated staying in untidy places. But I couldn't think of a way of saying it without sounding rude. I doubted Billy would care, but I still would feel awkward asking.

"I'm going to the store," Billy announced before standing up and walking over to a pile clothes that I had ironed for him. He took a plain black t-shirt out of the pile and quickly put it on.

"Wait, let me get ready; I don't wanna stay here on my own," I said as I stood up, only to have Billy place his hand gently on my cheek and plant a kiss on my lips.

"I'll be five minutes. You want anything?" I just shook my head no. He then leaned in and kissed me once more before turning around and leaving the apartment.

I took the opportunity of Billy not being there to tidy the living room and kitchen a bit. I cleared up all of the empty beer bottles and empty cigarette packets and put them in the trash and began washing the mound of dirty dishes that were stacked up.

Billy's phone began ringing non-stop over by the coffee table, but there was no chance that I was even going to think of answering it. God knows who would be on the other end.

Billy still hadn't returned fifteen minutes later, and his phone continued to ring non-stop. I had found myself completely on edge after seeing _Bones _spread across the screen on Billy's phone. Bones must have wanted to speak to Billy pretty badly, and would probably be pissed off that he hadn't answered.

Suddenly the front door opened, and I turned around, smiling and expecting to see Billy. But my smile disappeared when I saw I stood opposite an overweight man with greasy black hair and an unshaven face, wearing thick, black rimmed glasses. He was tall - almost as tall as Billy - and had a deep set frown line between his cruel black eyes.

The man eyed me up and down, licking his bottom lip. It was terribly uncomfortable for me as I stood there in a small pair of shorts and a vest.

"Where's the fuck up?" the man asked me as his eyes wandered up and down my body. "Hey! Nazi!" he yelled now, and my eyes became wide as I remembered his violent voice and that Billy's father had called him Nazi when he turned up there before.

"Um… Billy's… he-he's not he-here," I stammered out, suddenly pulling at the hem of my pink tank top. "He went to the store."

I wanted to kill Billy. If he had let me go to the store with him or locked the door, I wouldn't have been standing opposite a terrifying man who regarded his eldest son as a fuck up and a Nazi. Clearly he wouldn't be winning any father of the year competitions any time soon.

"How much he payin' you?" Bones asked before licking his bottom lip and scratching his round stomach. When I didn't answer, he said it louder, "How much?" Spit flew from his mouth as he said it.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"How much a go, princess?" Bones said. _He thinks __I'__m a fucking hooker. _

I raised my eyebrows at him. He thought I was a hooker? Well that boosted my self confidence. "Billy doesn't pay me; I'm his girlfriend."

Just as I said it, the front door swung open and in came Joe, closely followed by Billy, who was speaking to Joe. "How many fuckin' times, Joe? You don't…" He stopped suddenly when he saw Bones standing there.

"Nice for you to fuckin' join us, Nazi! What the fuck has that little shit done now?" Bones spat nodding towards Joe.

Joe looked more nervous than I was. He knew what Bones was capable of. He stood there still, his dark brown eyes wide as he looked down towards his shoes and his shoulders slumped. His hands were shoved deep inside of his jean pockets, and he silently tapped his foot.

Billy looked the complete opposite of Joe. He stood tall. His fierce, cold eyes were slits. His arms hung straight at his sides, and he looked directly at his cruel father. "Nothing. What are you doin' here?" Billy asked, his voice strong and coarse.

"Well, would you like to fuckin' tell me why there's no one down by my fuckin' underpass?" Bones spat angrily. "And why there's no one in that shit hole you fucks call the office!" Billy eyes were wide now, and I knew he was thinking about Heco not being there. Billy's jaw was clenched, and I could see his nostrils beginning to flare. I wouldn't have liked to be Heco right then. "I should just kill you fuckin' half wits right now!" Bones pulled out a gun from behind his back and pointed it between Billy and Joe.

I was shaking, absolutely terrified. What if this madman killed one of them? My eyes were wide as I looked into the faces of a frightened Joe and a nervous Billy. I let out a small squeak of terror, resulting in Bones turning around and pointing the gun at me.

"Or shall I kill your girlfriend, Billyboy? Maybe then you'd put in some hours on the perfectly good corners I gave you!" I could feel my lip begin to quiver, and my eyes welling up with salty tears.

Billy stared at me with wide eyes, and I silently begged him with my eyes to do something, but he just stood there, his nostrils flaring, his jaw clenched, and his neck beginning to turn a horrible red color.

The first tear streamed down my face, and Bones looked at me, raised his lip, and let out a snarl. "She's crying Billy; aren't you going to help her?" I could see Billy move his foot forward as if he was going to move, but he didn't. Suddenly, Bones turned back around quickly and shot the gun in Joe's direction, causing him to jump. The bullet was now embedded in the wall. "Fuckin' sort your shit out Billy, or I'll put a nice pretty bullet in each one of your thick skulls. And you better not be fuckin' down this week, or I'll be having her make up the cost!" Bones spat before leaving the apartment.

I held a hand to my mouth as the tears fell; I thought he was going to kill us all. Had he meant to hit Joe? Or had he hit his target when it missed Joe and hit the wall? I leaned against the kitchen unit, and I let out a small whimper. I had never had a gun pointed at me before; yes, I had stood in front of Billy when he had pointed his gun at Alex, but I had never had one purposefully pointed at me.

When Billy had pointed the gun at Alex, deep down I knew now that he wouldn't have pulled the trigger, even if I didn't know it then. But with Bones, I felt like he would actually kill one of us, and that's why I was more upset than I was when Billy had pointed the gun at Alex.

Billy strode quickly passed me and headed into his bedroom as I stood in the kitchen, crying my eyes out and attempting to make my hands stop shaking so terribly.

Joe sauntered over to me and wrapped me in a hug; I leaned in and sobbed uncontrollably into his shoulder, my arms wrapped tight around his back. "Hey, it's okay," he whispered gently.

My tears soon stopped after I was comforted by Joe, and I stood there, my hands still shaking, smoking a cigarette when Billy quickly walked out of his bedroom and tossed a green canvas bag at Joe.

"Get down to the underpass; I'm going to fuckin' sort the boys out." I knew he meant Heco in particular. "And you," he said, looking at me. His eyes softened slightly for a moment when he saw me, but quickly the hard barrier came up again, and before he could speak I did.

"I just wanna go home."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Craig, Rachel, and I walked through the mall arm in arm, heading towards the main office of the company that Craig worked for. It was just outside the mall, so we didn't have to walk far. It had been a week and a half since Bones had appeared at Billy's apartment, and I had calmed down about the incident completely now. I just hoped that I never saw Bones again.

"Uch, finals are coming up! I just want to drop out; I don't want to be there anymore!" I exclaimed. I had been thinking about dropping out of the school more and more, but had told myself I should stay, do my exams, and then decide what to do during the summer. But I doubted I would even pass my exams; I hadn't studied at all with all the drama that went on in my life and with work; I just didn't have the time.

"So then just drop out," Craig said. Everything was so simple for Craig; everything was black and white. A quality I sometimes wished I had. Things would be so much easier if just saw them in two lights instead of two hundred.

"I can't just… I want to… Oh, I don't know!" I finally said, not wanting to talk about it anymore.

Rachel looked at me, her eyes curious. "Have you spoken to Billy yet?" I wasn't speaking to him, and I still didn't want to. She was probably curious as I hadn't even mentioned him all day, and normally I always had something to say about him and his sometimes erratic and volatile behavior.

"Nope. And I don't want to; he can't have a go at me because his psycho dad pointed a fucking gun at me. He said I should of locked the door; well, why didn't he lock it?" Oh, she had me going now. "And he was ragging on me for telling Bones that I was his girlfriend - it was either that or for him to think I was a prostitute. No, I have not spoken to him, nor do I intend to until he apologizes. I mean who does he-"

"We get it!" Craig piped in, clearly getting annoyed by my ramble about Billy. Soon, we made it to Craig's company's office. It was just a small building, and when you walked in, there was a very relaxing feel to it. There was only one room downstairs to the office. All the walls were whitewashed, and white marble covered the floor. There was one large desk towards the back of a room with a computer and telephone on it, and a chair in front of the desk. A black spiral staircase was behind the desk, leading up to god knows what.

A plump woman with short, tonged, copper hair and magnificent violet eyes sat behind the desk, typing away. When she saw Craig, Rachel, and me enter, she stood up and smiled broadly, revealing perfectly white, sparkling teeth. She wore a knee high, gray pencil skirt with a white shirt separated by a large black belt.

"Craig," she said happily, her voice a demulcent. "I must say you are wooing the ladies. Ms. Robinson called and booked you for another two events this week, and Miss Harper called and booked you for another dinner date this week. Poor girl, all she wants is to feel beautiful and wanted, although I doubt anyone will want her with a nose like hers." _That was a bit below the belt. _The woman sat down again and began looking through a drawer before pulling out a piece of paper as Rachel and I scowled at her for the harshness of her comment about that woman.

"Thanks, Andrea," Craig said before looking over the piece of paper she handed him. "Yeah, I can do these," he said, confirming the list of 'dates' that were printed on it.

Andrea smiled again before looking at both me and Rachel. "Oh, sweetheart," Andrea said softly as she looked at Rachel. "You'd look a lot better if you didn't frown like that. It adds ten years to you." Craig tried to stifle a laugh as Rachel continued frowning at Andrea and her mouth became an O shape. She then turned to me, pleasantly smiling. "Ah, I see you brought your friend back with you, Craig. Have you reconsidered my offer? I'm sure you could do well here," Andrea stated.

"Oh no. That isn't me," I said politely. "But thanks for the offer."

"What about you, sweetheart? I'm sure if you frowned less, you could do well here also," Andrea said, staring at Rachel.

"I wouldn't work here if it was the last source of money in the world." Rachel stormed out, leaving Andrea staring blankly at the spot where Rachel had been standing and Craig and me trying not to burst out laughing. _What__'__s __gotten__ into Rachel?_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I made my way towards my front door in a pretty cheerful mood; my day with Craig and Rachel had been amazing. I hadn't had fun like that in a long time. After leaving Craig's 'headquarters,' we had gone for food, and Rachel had admitted that she thought that Craig's job was just as bad as a prostitute. Which was hilarious because Craig snapped back, saying she was just jealous because I had been eagerly offered a job, and she had been offered one just out of politeness. I knew Craig didn't mean it nastily, and so did Rachel as she burst out laughing after he said it.

We went for drinks in a rather sophisticated bar, a large and welcomed change from The Four Roses.

I opened my door to find Trigger sitting on the couch, his head in his hands and a gun on the coffee table. He looked up quickly when the door made a loud thud noise, signaling someone else was in the room. I quickly rushed over to him when I saw his eyes were red. I wasn't sure if he had just taken something or if he had been crying.

"Are you okay?" I asked compassionately as I sat next to him. Trigger relentlessly tapped his foot on the floor. My first thought was that Violet had finished with him or something. If she hurt him, I would have a few choice words for her. I would say I'd kick her ass, but I wouldn't really. I'm a wimp; she'd probably whip my ass. "Look, if Violet has-"

"We have to get outta here," he said as he stood up quickly, grabbing the gun as he did. I stood up too, confused at what he was saying. _What the fuck?_

"Why? What are you on about?" I said, staring into his bloodshot eyes.

Trigger quickly came over to me, placed two of his burly hands on my small shoulders (he had shoved his gun in the back of his jeans), and looked into my rich brown eyes with his red bloodshot ones. "Look. Just take my word for it. We have to leave, okay?" he said assertively. "I love you." My eyes were wide, but I didn't have time to speak as he forcefully pushed his lips towards mine.

I instantly pushed hard at his chest and squeezed my lips together tightly, not wanting his lips touching mine. I pushed hard at him, but he didn't budge; he held tightly to my shoulders and continued to force a long kiss on my lips.

Finally, he broke away and smiled happily. It was the type of smile a thirteen year old girl gets when she has her first kiss with the guy she has been crushing on for almost a year. Didn't Trigger notice that I was pushing him away?

"What the fuck was that?" I asked as I stepped backwards. Had he said he loved me? If he had, that was sure to kill off our already difficult friendship because I'd have to tell him I didn't love him like that.

Trigger's brows furrowed together before he spoke. "If we leave now, we should be able to get to Detroit by tomorrow. I have a cousin there; we'll stay with him at first until we get enough money to get our own place." My eyes were wide. Trigger must have been deluded if he thought I was going to leave with him. "I know it's soon, but if we don't leave now, the guys from B Street are going to show up, and that will not be good!"

"What do you mean 'the guys from B street?'" He wants me to go to Detroit with him because of what I assumed was some other gang. Did Billy know about this?

Trigger walked into his bedroom, came out with two duffle bags, roughly tossed them on the couch and walked near me again. I took a step back, not sure what he was going to do. He stopped and looked at me for a moment before taking another step forward only for me to take another step back. "Hey, it'll be okay. Don't worry. I was going to tell you, but it just all happened so fast. Anyway, I've packed your bag; let's go."

"Tell me what?" I said, not moving.

He furrowed his eyebrows together once more before speaking quickly. "I know it's sooner than we expected." _We expected? _"I got involved with B Street to earn some more money, so we could get out of here and away from Billy." My eyes were wide. I didn't want to be away from Billy. "I told them that I'd get Joe on their turf alone, so they could do him over like Billy did to one of their brothers." I couldn't believe it. Joe was one of Trigger's best friends. How could he be able to do that? "And I couldn't get him there, and they've already paid me, so if Joe isn't there in about five minutes, and he won't be, they're going to come and kill me. So let's go!" He yelled the last part, and I jumped.

Trigger could tell I was beginning to get scared and was completely horrified that he would have gotten Joe badly hurt - or worse killed - just for some extra money, so he spoke again, this time in a more soothing voice. "I know it was wrong. But I did it for us, so that we could be together. I know you only see Billy as a fling," Trigger said, and he almost sounded like he believed it as well. "A power trip," he sneered that part. "And I knew it was only a matter of time until you got rid of him and realized you loved me, like I know you do." I began shaking my head, but he didn't notice this, and tears began to well in my eyes. "But about two weeks ago, I realized that motherfucker loves you, and he wouldn't let you go." He continued to eye me with red eyes before placing one of the bags over his shoulder and picking up the other in his hand. "Come on. Let's get outta here."

I couldn't believe what he was saying. He was clearly on something; did he honestly think that I would leave with him? "Trigger, I'm not leaving, and I don't love you. I love Billy," I said softly and calmly. Trigger's face twisted with anger, and I felt my breath catch in my throat. I had never seen Trigger look so angry.

"You love him?!" Trigger spat. His face seemed to be purple with rage, and his eyes were almost popping out of their sockets.

"Adam, I think we-" He cut me off.

"No. No. You love me," he muttered. "Let's go," he said louder. I just shook my head no, and then he did the unthinkable.

In one swift movement, he pulled his gun from the back of his jeans and held it tightly in his hand. He wasn't pointing it at me; it just hung loosely, and I knew it was meant to be a silent threat. "C'mon Trish," he said quietly looking down at his feet.

Scared of what he might do, I nodded slowly, feeling tears stinging my eyes. "Okay," I said softly and quietly. "Just let me grab some stuff."

I walked swiftly towards the bathroom with no intention of going anywhere with him. Tears streamed down my face as I walked. I couldn't believe what was happening. Trigger had either gone crazy or had taken some bad shit. I wondered whether the B Street guys really were coming; I prayed they weren't. And who was I? Suddenly, everyone seemed to pull their guns out around me, and sometimes point them in my general direction. I would have to find a way to stop that.

I walked into the bathroom, and looking from the corner of my eye, I could see Trigger was standing right outside the door, gun still in hand. Quickly, I slammed the door shut and roughly pulled the lock on.

"For fuck's sake, Trish!" Trigger said through the door as I backed towards the toilet. He continued yelling and banging the door as I pulled my cell out and dialed a number I knew by heart.

_Ring Ring Ring Ring. _

Finally he answered.

"_You ready to fuckin__'__ talk to me?__"_he growled down the phone. I had phoned Billy; most people would have phoned the cops, but I didn't want Trigger to get into trouble.

I let out a small sob as Trigger yelled something horrible about me through the door. _"__What?!__"_ I swear I heard concern in his voice.

"It's Trigger," I sobbed again as I crouched down next to the toilet. "He's trying to get me to go to Detroit with him. He's got a gun. I've locked myself in the bathroom. I don't know what to do." I could hear chairs scraping in the background and the sound of heavy footsteps. "And he says B Street is going to come here and kill him."

"_Stay in the bathroom. Don__'__t open the fuckin' door. __I'll__ be right there!__"_I sobbed again as he hung up, and then I jumped when I heard a bang on the front door and Trigger talking to somebody.

The voices were loud and deep. There were at least another three people in the apartment with Trigger from what I could hear. I took a step towards the door, not sure whether I should open it. "Who were ya yelling at Trigger? Before we came in. Who? Is that motherfucker, Joe, here?!" one of the new occupants asked, violence seeping through his voice.

"Look, man, we can sort this out," Trigger tried to negotiate. "I'll get you your money back," he promised.

"Who's in the fuckin' toilet, Trigger?" I felt the breath catch in my throat. "Is it little fuckin' Joey Darley?"

I could hear footsteps coming towards the door, unknown footsteps. I backed further away from the door. "Man, there's no one in there-" Then I heard Trigger let out a groan of pain and a loud thud noise; I assumed Trigger had been forced to the floor.

I could hear them trying to open the door, and I silently prayed to every god to just let Trigger and me get through this. I didn't know much about B Street, but I did know they had major problems with Billy and his gang. The feud had gone back since Bones had taken over B Street's turf years ago.

Then with one final big bang to the door, it flew open, and in walked a tall man with dark skin and a shaved head. He had a gun pointed in my direction.

The man smirked viciously when he saw me and quickly and silently stepped forward and grabbed my hair in his fist violently, yanking on it to pull me with him.

"Aw!" I yelled, fighting to get his hand to release the clump of hair he was pulling on. "Get off me!"

He yanked me into the living room, where another two men stood, all with guns, over Trigger who was bleeding from his head on the floor with two guns pointed at his head.

The man who was pulling me by my hair threw me to the floor, away from Trigger, and pointed his gun at me. Tears streamed down my face now, and I fought to suppress sobs that were about to break free.

The two men who had their guns pointed at Trigger smiled smugly when they saw me crying on the floor. The taller of the two must have been about Billy's age. He was extremely pale with a scruffy, short, black ponytail tied at the nape of his neck. The other I recognized immediately as the boy who had pulled up outside Billy's apartment before and ran his mouth, causing Billy to pull out his gun. That boy was the nephew of the guy who ran B Street. I hoped and prayed he didn't recognize me.

Trigger held his hand over his head wound, but blood was still streaking his face. He looked in pain, and it took all my will not to go over and see if he was okay.

"So it wasn't little Darley," snarled the one with the ponytail, disappointment seeped through his voice.

Trigger looked terrified as the man with the ponytail kneeled down to inspect me closer.

"No, Jimmy; it's fuckin' just as good as Joe fuckin' Darley," said the young boy, who had seen me before. He nodded at me before speaking. "That's fuckin' Billy's bitch! I told you, I told all of ya. None of you fuckin' believed that Billy had a girl."

Jimmy seemed extremely interested now; his brows raised as he kneeled closer to me. I tried to shimmy backwards, but he grabbed my foot and roughly yanked on it so I was closer to him.

"Are ya Billy's girl?" Jimmy asked, edging closer and closer to my face. Trigger looked at me, trying to tell me something with his eyes, but I couldn't read them. I just stayed silent. "Huh?" Jimmy asked as he roughly grabbed my cheeks and squeezed them together, forcing me to look at him. When I didn't answer him, he got extremely annoyed and hit me hard across my cheek.

My cheek stung, and I sucked in a coarse breath.

Trigger went to come over to me but the young teenager kicked him back down to the floor. I noticed that Trigger's gun was on the table, out of both of our reaches.

Jimmy grabbed my face, forcing me to look at him again, his rough fingers digging into my throbbing cheek. "Mickey, didn't you say that Billy got fiercely protective of this one when you mentioned having a go?"

Mickey sneered and then smiled, showing me his two front silver teeth. "Yeah, he didn't like that." The bald man was staring down at me viciously, not speaking a word. "But I remember him not fuckin' minding too much about sharing when he fucked Missy." The bald man's eyes were wide with insanity, and his finger twitched on the trigger of the gun pointed at me. My eyes stung from the tears that spilled out of them. "You remember that, right, Bobby?" Mickey said, nodding towards the silent bald man; it sounded like he was trying to taunt him into getting angry.

Who was Missy? Whoever she was the thought of her and Billy together was right in Bobby's head at that moment, and I was sure he was about to explode from anger.

Jimmy stood up and let out a bored sigh before kicking Trigger hard in the ribs. I winced as Trigger cradled his hurt ribs.

Bobby stared at me ferociously. His finger wanted to pull the trigger more and more every second. It seemed they had forgotten about the whole Joe thing due to the development that Billy's girlfriend was indeed there.

When was Billy going to get here? He said he'd be right there.

"Well, Trigger," Jimmy said, boredom etched in his voice. He scratched his head with his gun. "You fucked me over, and I don't like little shits like you who do that. You promised me Joe Darley, and you didn't deliver. But," he sounded more optimistic now, "you did deliver this fine doll here. Now, Bobby can fuck her like Billy fucked Bobby's Missy." I let out a loud whimper, and I could feel myself begin to shake. Instinctively I pushed my bare legs together tightly. Trigger face was contorted with anger.

Bobby tossed his gun to Jimmy, but quickly replaced his gun with a pocket knife that he flipped open. He bent down and held the knife to my throat, before placing one of his grubby hands at the bottom of my calf and slowly running it up my leg. I wish I had been wearing jeans instead of a skirt.

I began to squirm, scream, and hit Bobby, but Jimmy quickly appeared, and slammed one of his big hands over my mouth, and held my arms tight in the other. I began to kick, but nothing seemed to get Bobby off me as he began to suck on my collar bone.

Then before I knew what was happening, there was a loud _BANG!_


	14. Bang Bang Your Dead

Thanks for the reviews; they mean so much to me. This chapter has unfortunately not been beta'd so there will probably be shit loads of grammar mistakes because I am incapable of spotting my own mistakes.

Please leave a review. And I've also put pictures back on my profile of who I see as Trish, Trigger, Alex and Craig. Go check them out. Again thanks to everyone who reads and please let me know what you think.

The loud bang echoed through the living room, most likely the whole building, and then suddenly the heavy bald Bobby who had been forcefully pressing his lips to my skin and hand was yanking up my denim skirt fell with a hard thud on top of me. He was still.

And then there was another bang.

My arm exploded with pain as something tore through it. It was a pain I had never experienced before, and hoped that I would never feel again. It felt like my arm was about to tear of from my body and shrivel up and die. I wanted to scream in agony but couldn't; the weight from Bobby's large body crushed down on my chest like an avalanche of suffocating rocks.

I didn't feel Jimmy's hands instantly leave my mouth and arms when the first bang went off; in one swift movement he was standing up, not even a second later there was another two bangs and a thump as Jimmy fell to the floor, blood seeping from his chest.

I felt a warm liquid drizzle down from Bobby's back down onto my open hand. I wanted to move my hand; I didn't want that vile mans blood on me, but the burst of pain that seared through my arm when I tried to move it was to much.

It had only taken a couple of shots, just a few loud bangs and those disgusting men were dead.

With the amount of strength I could muster, I tried to push Bobby's heavy body off mine with no success, seconds later the body was pulled off me and shoved away by Billy who stood with his gun still in hand, a look I had never seen before across his face.

He looked like a complete madman. His eyes were glazed over with insanity, but still a sense of pleasure shone through his slightly squinted light blue orbs. His jaw was clenched but not like the way he did when he was irritated, it was clenched in determination, and he stared down at me and the two dead bodies next to me.

Billy had just killed two men without a seconds thought. And by the look on his face, he had enjoyed it.

Next to Billy stood Bodie, a gun in his hand also; he looked down at me with pity in his eyes.

Spink and Tommy stood behind Billy and Bodie both their guns to Mickey's head. The young boy's jaw was tight and his eyes welled with tears. The same as mine.

Trigger sat with his back against the breakfast bar, his hand raised to his bleeding head observing what had just happened; he looked more scared now than he had when I had been first dragged out of the bathroom.

Slowly I began to sit up; my body was shaking. I looked down at my throbbing arm and let out a loud whimper to see it was oozing with blood. I held my hand tight against it trying to stop the bleeding.

Tears leaked from my eyes as I looked at the two dead men beside me. It was insane, but I swore I could smell the bodies already decaying next to me.

Billy roughly shrugged his long trench coat off and basically ripped his T-shirt off before holding it out to me. When I looked up at him unknowingly, he leaned down and pressed his T-shirt to my arm that bled profusely. My arm exploded in pain when he pressed down hard with the shirt. "Hold it there tight." Billy mumbled before letting go. He then snaked his arm around my waist before lifting me up into his arms bridal style.

My body shook violently in his arms. I didn't want to be in his arms, the arms of a killer. But I felt utterly safe in his arms, like nothing could ever hurt me.

Not wanting to see the bloody bodies no longer I pressed my head into his chest, where I sobbed.

I could feel Billy pulling down my skirt that had been forcefully pushed up. "Get rid of these," Billy spoke lowly but I could hear every word. "And get rid of the kid as well." My head shot up.

"What?" I asked looking into Billy's hard eyes. My face was soaking from the tears. "No. Please. He's basically the same age as Joe." Billy sniffed and his head tilted the side slightly; he couldn't believe I was pleading with him to not kill a boy who would have happily watched me being raped and then maybe murdered. "Billy-"

"See what you can get from the kid," he said to Bodie, before giving him a look id never seen before. "Take Trigger to the office when you're done. And call fat Phil and tell him to get his ass to the office."

We left the apartment seconds later; Billy only opened the door enough so that we could fit through, just encase the apartment opposite mine opened their door, and saw the two bloody body's on my living room floor.

I wasn't surprised when we left the apartment building that there was no sign of police anywhere. Nobody who valued there lives phoned the cops when they heard gun shots in their buildings in this part of town. Months before it would have shocked me that nobody would have called; now I don't even think I would. I'm not stupid.

Billy opened the passenger side door to his car and gently laid me on the seat. Once I was placed on the seat Billy stared down at me for a few moments before brushing a strand of loose hair that had fallen on my face behind my ear.

He went around the car and jumped in his side before starting the roaring engine. We began driving to what I presumed to be the hospital; I had been shot after all.

"You killed those two men," I pointed out, looking straight out of the car window.

I could see him looking at me dully from the corner of my eye. He pulled out his cigarettes and rammed one in his mouth before quickly lighting it with his lighter. "And?" he questioned before sucking in a long drag of his cigarette.

What was I supposed to say to that? He didn't seem to care. Was I in love with a cold blooded killer?

"You forget that I shot you as well," he said with a smirk. I think he was trying and failing to lighten the dark damp mood. Noticing that I wasn't smiling, his smirk dropped. "Look, would you of preferred that id let them fuckin' rape you?" he demanded, his voice angry. "Since you'd rather me let them fucks rape you; why not go the whole way and watch when they cut your fuckin' throat afterwards!" he practically yelled.

I was crying again. Billy really did have a way with words.

Billy turned off the main road down a deserted lane, the lane was scattered with rubbish and an old pram was pushed upside down in a mass of dead grass. We continued down the lane at a risky speed for a few minutes before coming out into an open unused space.

He roughly pulled up in the open space, and when I looked up I was shocked to see we were in front of a high fence with barbed wire on top. And past the fence was an old clearly abandoned building. The massive gates had a 'Danger' and 'stay out' sign's stuck on it and was locked together with a thick black chain and huge lock.

"Where are we?" I asked, starting to panic. Why wasn't he taking me to a hospital? I needed to go to a hospital. Billy quickly got out of the car and rushed towards the gates; I couldn't see what he was doing but was shocked to see him begin to push the gates open whilst holding the thick black chain and lock in his hand.

I gawped at him when he got back into the car and sped forward past large trees and overgrown green lawns scattered with rubbish. I was beginning to feel faint; not a good sign.

Billy slammed on the brakes when we were right by the huge buildings large front steps. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion when I saw Heco's red mustang and a white van outside of the building.

The building itself was vast and derelict. Some windows were smashed and others were boarded up. I would have found the building and the grounds of it eerie if my mind wasn't busy on other things.

Baggy was sat on the front steps smoking a cigarette, but stood up quickly when Billy's car pulled up.

Billy flew out of the car and round to my side where he opened the door and began to pull me out. "Billy what are we doing here? Billy I need to go to a hospital!" He ignored me instead left the passenger side door open and rushed forward towards Baggy, whose brow was furrowed.

"Phone that fat fuck Phil and see where the fuck he is, and lock the gates when he gets here!" Billy roared then barged past Baggy with me in his arms. What did he mean lock the gates? Did he not notice that I had a fucking bullet stuck in my arm?!

I really wasn't feeling good. I couldn't even conjure up the energy to argue with Billy.

We burst through the glass main doors into a graphite covered entrance and then Billy bounded up a small set of stairs. He began rushing through dirty, damp and graphite covered corridors. "Heco! Jamie! Get your ugly asses down here!"

Soon Billy barged through a door into a small room with a metal framed bed and dirty looking mattress on it in the corner of the room. There was a small nightstand toppled over in a corner and the window was barred. Billy gently placed me down on the smelly mattress just as Jamie and Heco entered the room, both looking startled.

I tried to sit up, but found myself to weak. _Sheesh this gunshot wound is really taking its toll on me. _Billy was speaking to Heco in a low threatening whisper, too low for me to hear what he was saying.

Heco left the room quickly and Billy came and held his shirt tight to my bleeding wound. The pain was slowly dulling as I became feeling more faint. Probably from blood loss, because the cock that I was in love with hadn't taken me to the hospital. Can somebody remind me what I saw in him?

Heco soon re-appeared and handed something to Billy. My eyes swept over Billy's hands and widened when I saw he had a needle filled with liquid. "Billy. What's that?" I asked panicked. He then held my good arm down and began searching for something on my soft creamy skin briskly. "What are you doing?! No!" I yelled as he began to bring the needle closer to my held down arm. He had found a vain.

I attempted to lift my injured arm up to hit him but only then realized that Jamie was holding the shirt down tight on my wound, the strength of his hold keeping my already dodgy arm down.

As the needle hovered above my arm a robust man with little ginger hair was pushed in the small room by Baggy. He wore a crinkled purple shirt and a flowery pink tie that was loose, and in his hand was a large black case. His large square glasses were perched at the end of his nose, resembling an owl.

Billy's head snapped towards the man, needle still in hand, when he entered. I whimpered, scared of who this man was, and desperately trying to ignore the pain in my arm.

"What are ya doin'?" the man asked eyeing the needle in Billy's hand. The mans eyes swept over my crying frame and I could see pity in his eyes.

Billy, Heco and Jamie eyed the man inquisitively. "Billy please," I wailed. "I need a doctor." I had lost far too much blood.

The man rushed forward and bent down beside Billy and took the needle out of his hand. If I weren't in so much pain I would have been shocked at how Billy didn't react to him taking the needle out of his hand, an act that Billy would normally have seen as disrespecting him.

I cried as my eyelids began to become heavy but fought against them, scared of what might happen if I let them close for more than a second. "There, there." The stranger said. He was rifer ling through his bag before getting something out. "There was too much morphine there Billy." The man got rid of some of the morphine from the needle than jabbed it into my arm.

I sucked in a sharp breath as the man got what he had gotton out of his back off the floor; it was a bottle of clear liquid and a cloth. He poured the liquid onto the cloth and before I knew what was happening he was holding it over my mouth and nose.

I couldn't move as Jamie and Billy held me down tightly. The cloth smelled strong, intoxicating and very sweet. "What happened to her?" the man asked. His voice seemed distant and was the last thing I heard.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I mustered all my strength together, and sat up quickly. The small room was disserted, nobody was there waiting for me to wake up. Maybe they weren't expecting me to wake up; maybe they were just waiting for me to die.

Panicked, my head snapped towards my injured arm, relief washing over me to see that it was bandaged in a nice clean white bandage. I only noticed the slight twinge of pain around the wound then.

My white T-shirt was stained with blood, and I could see Billy's dark shirt tossed carelessly in the dirty corner of the room.

Slowly I stood up, scared that I might have fallen back down, but smiled jubilantly when I stayed steady. I walked over to the corner of the dirty room, and picked up Billy's stained and bloody shirt. The blood had dried; how long had I been out?

I peeked my head out of the room and made a slight grimace when I noticed nobody was in the small narrow corridors. I hadn't noticed how claustrophobic they were when Billy had charged through them with me. Slowly I began walking down the corridor hoping to see someone; although I was sure this was a place Billy was familiar with I wasn't sure why. Like I mentioned earlier, I still wondered whether it was an abandoned building where they took people to die when they didn't want to actually kill them themselves. I guess you could convince yourself it wasn't your fault then, well Billy and his crew could.

I wondered down dirty narrow corridors covered with graffiti for awhile until I heard a deep voice yelling. I stopped abruptly; it was Billy yelling.

The racket was coming from upstairs so I found the nearest staircase and made my way up them. Some of the stairs creaked loudly as I made my way up them but it didn't seem to draw anyone's attention.

Billy's angry voice got louder and louder the higher I got up until I came into a wide opening. The old painted white walls were flaking, and various shelves and pieces of scrap lay unused on there side.

I peeked around the corner and saw far down the left side of the wide open corridor it opened up into an even wider space, filled with Billy's booming voice.

Slowly I began walking down the corridor; I took my time because I still felt weak and slightly dizzy and I didn't want to fall over or collapse. As I got closer I could see most of Billy's gang standing or sitting around the room, and then I could see Billy tall broad frame standing with his back to me. But most shockingly was that dangling from the ceiling were baskets with tubs of something in it. Most of the baskets were connected with plastic tubes then connecting to scattered gas tanks.

Billy's hands were on his hips and he glared at the people in front of him. "I swear, im going to fuckin' kill him!" he ranted. I stopped mere meters behind him, suddenly scared of how his reaction would be to me being awake.

Tommy noticed me first and let out a low cough, "Billy," he said before nodding at me behind him. Billy spun around, his trench coat swirling with him.

He didn't seem to be looking at me; he was looking past me into the empty corridor. I turned my head around, looking towards where Billy's eyes were fixed. There was nothing there. "Where's Baggy?"

What the fuck was he on about? Before I could answer him there was loud banging coming from the stairs. Someone was running up them.

Billy grasped my wrist and pulled me behind him. All the guy's had pulled their guns out including Billy. Who were they expecting? Billy's gang had moved up close to him, some of them hiding around the corner; giving them the element of surprise. I was beginning to get scared as Billy gently pushed me further behind him before I was pulled by Tommy behind one of the corners.

The banging grew louder and louder until it was no longer banging but tapping and panting. "She-she's gone," Baggy panted out. I let out a sigh of relief as the guys let out groans, grumbles and grunts.

"Where the fuck were ya?" Billy demanded as I stepped around the corner and walked back to his side. Baggy who was bent over with his hands on his knee's trying to steady his breathing, squinted his eyes at me before shaking his head lightly.

"I thought… Fuck…. I went out for a smoke," he finally got out before standing at his normal height, his breathing still heavy and uneven. He was really unfit.

Billy stepped forward his heavy boot's thudding until he was mere centimeters away from Baggy's ear. He whispered something in a low threatening manor into Baggy's ear that made him lower his head lightly and nod. I couldn't hear what Billy had said, and I didn't want to know either.

Billy looked at me his eyes fierce and glazed over, "C'mon," he barked at me before walking away down the stairs. I quickly followed him avoiding Bodie's and everyone else's eyes.

I rushed down the stairs until I was right behind him and followed him until we were out of the building. Billy dug deep into his jacket pockets and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and let out a string of curses when he found the packet was empty before throwing it angrily in a random direction.

He stormed forward and yanked his door open angrily before practically throwing himself into the car. He'd already started the engine before id moved. "Get in the car," he yelled from inside it. I scurried forward and slid in quickly; we zoomed forward only slowing to open and then re-close the gates.

I wanted to ask him so many questions. I wanted to yell at him, and maybe even throw things at him I was so angry about what he had done. But I couldn't find the courage to do it, so instead I asked whilst looking out of the window, "why didn't you take me to the hospital?" My voice was barely audible.

I heard him let out a low grunt; he was probably annoyed. "Ya didn't need to go to a hospital," he replied calmly.

I didn't need to go to a hospital, was he fucking serious? "You might not of noticed but you shot me, and then instead of getting me a doctor-"

"I did get ya a doctor," my eyebrows quickly raised. "Fat Phil's a doctor; he fixes us up and we give him coke."

A doctor who's a coke addict, it didn't sound believable but I knew it was probably true. Everyone has their problems.

"Still you should have taken me to the hospital," I said quietly, wanting the last word, but then I realized that I had totally forgotten about something or someone rather. Trigger, he wasn't in the big abandoned building; had they taken him to the hospital? "Trigger, where is he? Did you take him to the hospital?" I said quickly suddenly panicking. I had just left him there when Billy had taken me from my apartment. They could have done anything to him; yes they didn't know about his initial plans concerning Joe but they knew that he was trying to get me to leave with him. What had I done? Had I killed Trigger by telling Billy that he had wanted me to leave with him? I knew Billy was capable of murder now in certain circumstances, but would he kill or get someone else to kill out of pure anger?

As soon as I mentioned the name Trigger to Billy, his jaw and his grip on the steering wheel tightened. _Shit! _"That fucker took off!" Billy spat. "He fucked off when Bodie, Spink and Tommy were getting rid of the bodies," I winced when he said that last word. The memory of having two dead bodies in my apartment and Billy being the one creating them was still fresh in my mind, and brought watery tears to the surface.

What if Billy was lying to me and Trigger was dead. Would he lie to me about something that huge? My mind was racing a million miles an hour. "Billy please tell me you didn't." I could feel myself about to cry. "Tell me you didn't kill him," I begged.

Billy turned his head to face me, his brows furrowed. "I didn't!" I knew he was telling the truth. "But I swear if he ever comes near ya again, im'a blow his fuckin' head off!"

Trigger's words from the night before came to my mind 'But_ about two weeks ago I realized that that motherfucker loves you and he wouldn't let you go'._

There was no way Billy loved me, Billy didn't love anyone. Except maybe Joe, and perhaps himself, but it was worth a try anyway.

"You wouldn't kill him," I said calmly. Billy looked at me through squinted eyes, confused at what I was getting at. I took a deep breath before speaking again. "Because if you did, you'd never see me again."

Anger flared in his eyes but he didn't reply, just glared at me for a few seconds before looking back onto the road. Moments later he pulled up into an all night diner parking lot. "C'mon," he said before exiting his car. I didn't want to go into a diner; my arms till ached and I was tired, but I reluctantly followed him in.

We sat in a small booth in the corner of the dreary diner. The walls were a plain grey colored wall paper and the floors were ugly grey tiles. Billy and I were the only customers there. I glanced at a clock that was high up on one of the walls, and was surprised to see that it read _5:15 AM._

A waitress who was short and skinny came and over to our table chewing on gum and dooderling on her notepad, but her eyes were on both of us. It wasn't surprising considering that we were both smeared in blood.

"Order please?" she asked, her voice almost as glum as the diner.

"Yeah ill take a coffee and a large burger and fries, what about you?" Billy asked. How could he eat burger and fries at this time in the morning?

"Just water." I replied.

Billy stared at me blankly his eyebrows furrowed together. "And she'll have a large burger and fries." he added.

The waitress walked off leaving me staring at Billy coldly. "I don't like Burger's or fries," I declared. "And I especially don't like them at quarter past five in the morning."

"Ya gotta eat something," he said as the waitress brought his coffee and my water over to me.

If I was honest I didn't want to eat after seeing two men killed, and then having only what I could call dodgy surgery on my arm with the help of a dodgy doctor, morphine and chloroform. And I didn't see how Billy could eat after killing two men, didn't he have a concise?

"Don't you care at all about those two men you killed?" I asked bluntly.

Billy's jaw tightened and practically threw his coffee down onto the table causing some of it to spill over and create a brown puddle on the clean white table. He leaned in his ice cold eyes staring at me. "Those two fuck's were gonna rape ya then kill ya, so no, I don't give a flyin' fuck."

I nodded my head slowly, the reality of it all sinking in. Here I was acting like Billy was the bad guy when in all actuality he had saved me. Those men would of raped me, and then killed me, and would of killed Trigger too if Billy hadn't killed them.

It was silent for a few minutes, and during that time the waitress brought over to humongous portions of fries and two very large burgers. Billy began eating his greedily whilst I stared down at mine still unable to eat, and not really wanting too.

"Can I use your cell?" I asked as he shoved a ridiculous amount of fries in his mouth. He fumbled around in his pocket before sliding across his phone.

"Why?" he asked, with a mouth full of fries. It didn't make me feel sick like it had the first time I had witnessed Billy and his boys eating; I was used to their animal no manners disgusting eating ways now.

I looked up at him as he began chewing on his burger. "I'm going to call Anna, see if she can lend me some money so I can fly out and stay with her for awhile." He instantly dropped his burger back onto his plate, but continued chewing whilst staring at me fiercely. "I can't stay in my apartment after what happened." I explained as I began dialing. I knew it would be early there and I would probably wake her up, but I also knew she wouldn't mind.

Billy reached over and grabbed the phone out of my hand, and flipped it shut. I stared at him angrily, what was he doing? "Ya stayin' with me." Oh no, that would not work.

"Billy, I - I can't-"

"Shut up," Billy said. "Your stayin' with me."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The next morning I was in Billy's shower tears streaming down my face as the reality of it all sunk in. Trigger was gone and two men were dead, all because I ran off and called Billy. I should have tried to talk to Trigger and got him to see sense.

The night before, well earlier that morning, when I had asked if B Street were going to come after him now because of Bobby and Jimmy, Billy promised me that they wouldn't even know that it was him and his boys who had done it. When I had asked him about Mickey he replied 'he aint talking'. That's when I started hearing only what I wanted to hear. I convinced myself that Mickey wasn't talking because they had scared him so much. I was so stupid.

But apparently it was only Bobby, Jimmy and Mickey who knew about Trigger's dodgy deal with them. They didn't want to tell Mickey's uncle until Trigger had delivered, and Trigger didn't so Mickey's uncle was no wiser about who had killed two of his boys.

To him, they would have just disappeared. Those were Billy's words, not mine.

That's another thing, Mickey had told Spink and Tommy about Trigger's deal, making him flee, and evidently telling Billy how badly Trigger was going to betray him.

It would definitely be safer for Trigger to stay out of town.

My tears blended in with the shower water that ran freely across my face and body. I had already scrubbed my body several times, remembering Bobby's hands and mouth running across parts of it.

I stood unmoving, just crying under the shower. I didn't even hear the bathroom door opening; Billy pulled back the shower curtain seconds later standing in just a towel. He dropped the towel when he saw me crying and stepped into the shower wrapping his big tattooed arms around me, allowing me to cry into his broad chest.

I sobbed for I don't know how long until I felt better and got out of the shower with Billy. He re-dressed my bandaged arm and got me one of Joe's white vests to wear since my white shirt was covered in blood.

I stood in Billy's kitchen munching on some Pizza Joe had ordered the night before looking ridiculous in a skirt and a baggy boys vest that showed most of my bra it was so loose. Joe walked in and flashed me one of his trademark grins, before grabbing himself a soda. He leaned back against one of the counters just grinning at me. "Well who would have thought that you would be moving in with me and my brother? Who would of thought it Billy moving in his girlfriend? Fuck, I gotta give it to ya; you have one damn effect on my brother. Are ya really that good in bed?" He asked jokingly.

I slapped him around the back of his head. "I'm not moving in, im just staying here a little while."

Joe raised his eyebrows at me but kept grinning. "Ya call it that if ya like, but, ya aint movin' out."

Thirty minutes later me, Billy, Bodie and Joe were standing outside my apartment door about to go and collect my stuff. I took a deep breath before putting the key in and opening the door.  
The door swung open, and I almost expected the two bodies to still be there, rotting away. But I was surprised to see the apartment looking clean, too clean.

Bodie, Spink and Tommy had scrubbed the two patches of carpet with bleach. You could tell it was bleach as it was dirty white color it two patches. That's where the blood stains must have been. And most of the surfaces had been wiped down; getting rid of Jimmy, Bobby and Mickey's fingerprints. It was definitely not they're first time having to do it that was clear. But like I said earlier I had started only hearing and seeing what I wanted.

We all stepped into the apartment and I glanced around almost expecting to see Trigger come out of his room in a pair of boxer shorts with a cigarette in his hand.

"What ya wanna take?" Joe asked.

"Umm…" I walked towards my bedroom and grabbed the rest of my clothes that Trigger hadn't already packed. I then took all of my photographs and put them in a bag, and then grabbed the massive box I had filled with books. That had to come with me.

I looked around my room, and couldn't find anything else id want to take with me, so reluctantly I stepped out of the room and went to open the bag of clothes Trigger had packed for me previously.

I undid the zipper and was shocked to see that he had packed my favorite book _Pride and Prejudice. _I almost went to cry again, knowing that he wouldn't be around again, doing sweet little things.

I looked around the room and took all my will to not cry when I saw Trigger's favorite lighter on the coffee table and his favorite Iron Maiden shirt; I packed that.

Quickly I packed all of my toiletries and then quickly left the apartment only carrying a small bag. Billy had my big box of books, Bodie carried the big bag of clothes and Joe carried the small bag full of photographs for me.

We got to the first floor, and I slowly walked towards the first apartment door, and then knocked loudly upon it.

The landlord of all the apartments opened the door wearing a pair of dirty nut hugger's and a dirty blue vest. His hairy chest bulged out of the shirt and his thinning greasy black hair was askew. "Hey. Umm me and Trigger were moving out so here's your keys back and this months rent." He didn't look surprised, people up and left all the time for no apparent reason, though he was probably trying to connect my sudden departure and Trigger's non presence to the gun shots he would of surely heard the night before. He eyed the three men behind me before grunting and taking the keys and envelope of money out of my hand. "There's quite abit of furniture left up there so you can do what you want with it." He grunted again then turned and slammed the door in my face. He was a man of few words.

I turned around and began walking out behind Billy and Bodie who were already quite ahead. Joe came up beside me and wrapped one arm around my shoulders. "Let's go home," he said happily.

I sucked in a deep breath. "Home, right."


	15. How could he?

A/N Heya, I am sooo sorry about the wait, this has been ready for ages I just haven't had the time to post it. The story's goingto be going in a slightly different direction now leading to the conclusion which I estimate will be in about 5-9 chaps. Please leave a review and let me know what you think.

I've also posted pics of who I see as the main characters on my page.

And a huge thanks to the people who reviewed and Wisery- who is an absolutely amazing beta.

My eyes fluttered open to find the bed empty. In the weeks since I'd moved in with Billy, I had began to hate waking up without Billy beside me. Probably because I was slowly losing everyone I cared about.

Anna was in California, Alex was in New York, Chelle… well, God only knew where she was. And I hardly ever spoke to any of them anymore. And Trigger was gone; I could only hope he was happy.

I thought maybe Billy had him killed, but I forced myself to push that idea aside. He couldn't have; I wouldn't believe it.

The first few weeks had been tough. I was constantly calling Trigger - only to receive his voicemail time and time again. It grew easier though; I assured myself that he was happy in Detroit, starting a new life away from all this yucky mess. Even though it was selfish, I still wanted him there with me.

Billy had grown hugely overprotective since the whole incident with B Street. He insisted on either him or one of his goons escorting me everywhere I went, and he had tried to get me to learn how to use a gun. I had refused, so he gave me this flippy knife… thing instead.

Even though he'd decided that he was my keeper, and I hardly ever got any fucking alone time because of his protectiveness, he insisted B Street didn't know who had killed their boys. And when I asked if Mickey would say anything, Billy just smirked and replied, "He ain't speakin'." I don't want to think about what that meant.

I was still wary of the situation, but Billy had sailed on through it, only deciding he was my keeper before moving on. Billy didn't really seem to give a shit about Trigger anymore, whilst I brought him up in conversation quite regularly, something that annoyed Billy. One night, about a week and a half prior, I had mentioned Trigger when Billy was in a foul mood. Billy bit my head off, and we ended up in a blazing row, in which Billy accused me of having feelings for Trigger, which only made our fiery argument escalate further.

Billy stormed out of the apartment, retuning hours later, drunk and stinking of cheap perfume. I was in bed when he returned, but I pretended to be asleep, not wanting to have to speak to him in his aggravated drunken state. He got undressed as normal, and I had to stop myself from gasping when I saw his back. All down his lean, strong back were scratch marks, clearly made by someone with stupidly long nails. There was even a bit of dried blood around one of the marks from when the slut must have dug into his back too forcefully. And then he got into bed, leaned over, and kissed my shoulder lightly, wafting the skank's cheap perfume into my face. I just rolled over and forced my face hard into the pillow to stop myself from crying until I heard Billy's drunken snores; then I let them out.

I didn't say anything the next day; what was there to say? If I spoke about it then I'd have to hear about it. Something I did not want. So I kept quiet, as if I hadn't seen the marks or smelled the retched perfume. Billy wore a shirt to bed for the rest of the week.

I blocked out the images of Billy's back, refused to think about the smell on him, and carried on like normal, unsure of what to do and biding my time until my hurt and fury about it spilled over. It was sure to happen at some point.

I stretched out in bed before I looked at the clock and smiled to myself, seeing that it read _12:08 _PM. It felt great to get up that late on a Monday morning. Yes, I had finally dropped out of school, something I thought would never happen.

Billy had looked really smug when I told him. I'm sure in his twisted head it satisfied him a great deal.

Slowly, I got up and frowned slightly at the small scar on my arm, where I had stitches after being shot. I made my way across the tidy bedroom (the whole apartment was clean now since I'd moved in - even Joe's room) and out into the living room to find Billy, Bodie, and Heco all sitting around the living room.

Billy sat in his boxers and shirt, a cigarette held between his fingers.

"Hey, guys," I said tiredly before yawning and going into the bathroom to freshen up. Afterwards, I made my way towards the kitchen.

"Were ya still asleep in there?" Heco asked, and like usual, I ignored him. Seriously, if you Google the word "dickhead," a picture of Heco will pop up on your screen. That word was made for him. "Is Billy wearing ya out that much that ya don't wake up with the way Bodie pounds on that door?" I heard Billy let out a small, amused chuckle.

I grabbed my bagel and made my way back to the couch, where I sat next to Billy. And no, Billy was not wearing me out too much; I hadn't even kissed him passionately since I'd seen his back, not wanting him to want more. I couldn't give it to him while he had those marks all over his back, a reminder that he'd been with someone else. And he hadn't tried to ignite anything either. I knew he was waiting for the marks on his back to disappear. But he did often try to kiss me passionately, and I always pulled away.

"Eat me!" I spat at Heco. God, I hated that man. Heco smiled broadly, showing his amusement.

"Anytime anyplace," he said, happy until he saw the insane glare Billy was shooting his way. "Sorry man," he said, quietly looking down. I smiled smugly and began picking at my bagel.

I sat silently as Bodie, Billy, and Heco resumed the conversation they were having before I had gotten up. It mostly consisted of sex, drugs, and, err… more sex. They were like fifteen year old boys.

"Oh, big motherfucking double D's; the bigger the fuckin' better," Bodie said, speaking about a girl he was with the night before. Billy smirked and nodded his head along with Bodie. Well, that dented my ego I thought as I looked down at my B cup breasts.

Joe walked out of his bedroom, whistling cheerfully. He turned seventeen that day. I got up and rushed into Billy's bedroom, where I kneeled down and began searching under the bed until I found what I was looking for.

Joe's birthday present.

It was wrapped in a light blue paper, so he couldn't see what it was until he opened it. I rushed back into the living room and practically bounced towards Joe.

"Happy birthday!" I sang joyfully before leaning up and kissing him lightly on the cheek. "It's not much," I said as he stared down at the present. "Well, open it." He snapped out of the partial trance he had been in and smiled gratefully at me before tearing the paper off the box and looking at the _Rocky _box set I had gotten him. "I remember you said that you liked the Rocky movies."

"Thanks, Trish," Joe said happily before grabbing me and wrapping me in a bear hug, lifting me off the ground.

"Can't breathe, Joey."

Joe placed me back down, put his birthday card up on the stained coffee table, sat down on the couch, and began looking at each DVD in the box set. I picked the wrapping paper off the floor as Bodie, Heco, and Billy all said happy birthday to Joe.

"Aren't you going to give him your gift?" I asked Billy quietly as Joe looked at the back of the second Rocky DVD. Billy looked at me stupidly before looking back towards Joe.

"I'll buy you a dance tonight, Joe." His voice was raspy.

"A dance?" I whispered into Billy's ear, though Joe heard me too.

"Yeah, a lap dance. We're going down Maxi's to celebrate my birthday and my initiation into the gang." Joe replied for Billy. His initiation into the gang? Billy was bringing Joe into his gang. I shouldn't have been shocked; it was expected. Billy's eyes bore into Joe; clearly, he had said too much.

"Tonight - on your birthday. Are you sure you want to do this, Joey?" I asked. Billy's head snapped towards me, and he gave me definite "shut up" eyes. Heco and Bodie both went silent as I spoke, and Joe grinned slightly.

"It's good. It's my time," Joe replied. It sounded rehearsed. I leaned forward so I was closer to Joe.

"Have you really thought about this? Because once you're one of them-"

"Trish, shut the fuck up!" Billy snapped, anger seeping through his voice. Maybe I shouldn't have referred to Billy and his gang as "them."

"What, so you want him to join?" I snapped back at Billy, suddenly angry at him for allowing Joe to join.

"He's my brother-" Billy started, his voice gruff and stern. Bodie and Heco were looking everywhere but at me and Billy, and Joe stared at us with wide eyes, not wanting us to argue because of him.

"Even more of a reason for you not-" I interrupted him.

"Stop talking, Trish!" His voice was dominant, and I knew he was about to snap. I stood up quickly and began to walk to the bedroom. I knew Trigger wouldn't have wanted Joe joining the gang so young.

"Think about what you're doing, Joey," I said quickly as I walked past him. I entered the bedroom and grabbed towels and everything else I'd need to get ready for work. I walked into the living room coolly, and smiled internally when I noticed Billy and his boys were sitting in silence, and Joe looked deep in thought. When I was nearing the bathroom door I spoke again, not even looking at them. "Don't do it, Joey. You don't wanna end up like them."

I heard somebody get up off the couch and start taking heavy footsteps towards me. I walked into the bathroom, knowing Billy was coming after me, and – whoops - I slammed the door in his face.

As I was dumping my stuff onto the toilet lid, a fuming Billy barged in. A vein popped out of his neck furiously, and his jaw was locked. I had effectively put him in a bad mood on one of the rare occasions he was in a good one. Good, he deserved to be in one if he was willing to happily allow his seventeen year old brother to join his idiotic gang of mutts. It would put Joe in constant danger from the other gangs, even more so now because he would be in it as well as being the brother of the leader. As if the streets of Chicago weren't dangerous enough. Billy watched as I got my stuff ready before finally speaking.

"What the fuck was all that about?" he asked sternly his hands placed on his hips. He looked like a right knob, standing there in his boxers and a grey wife beater. He looked down at me, his shoulders broad, trying to be intimidating. I ignored him, which only annoyed him more.

Joe appeared near the doorway, biting his nails nervously. "Billy-"

"Stay out of this, Joe," Billy snarled whilst continuing to stare at me. He slammed the door behind him, closing the two of us in the bathroom. I stood with my back to him, quickly took my top off, and slung it over my shoulder; it landed on his shoulder. "I said wh-"

"I know what you said, and I'm choosing to ignore you," I spat, looking over my shoulder and into his icy eyes. I started to walk towards the shower, but he grabbed my wrist tightly. He pulled me towards the wall, and slammed me against it, grabbing my arms to hold me there. He shoved his tattooed arm against my neck, making it uncomfortable to breathe. His breathing was jagged as he leaned closer to me; maybe I had pushed him a little too far. But then again, most men don't blow their tops over their girlfriend choosing to ignore them when they're doing something they don't agree with; they normally welcome the silence. Most men do anyway.

Billy's eyes burned into mine as I stood there silently, not moving within his grasp. "You need to learn your fuckin' place." His voice was a low, threatening murmur. _Excuse me? _"Or I'll put ya in it, ya hear me?" His mouth was inches away from mine now. "Now, baby, be good, and go tell Joe that you're sorry for fuckin' up his birthday." He kissed me on the cheek, his unshaven chin and upper lip rasping against my soft skin, and then he finally let go of me and opened the bathroom door before strolling through it like nothing happened. I stood up straight and tried to process Billy's sudden outburst. "And if ya think the gang and I are that bad, why don't ya just get the fuck outta here; stop hangin' around me like a fuckin' fly around shit."

I stood still, not knowing what to do. His words had stung me more than he knew; I couldn't stay there after what he had said. He had wanted me to stay with him, and now he was making out that he didn't want me around him. Well, fine!

I grabbed my clothes and make-up that I had taken into the bathroom with me and stormed out, keeping my chin high and my eyes averted. My stomach was in knots; it felt like he had stabbed me and left the blade inside.

Billy and the guys were silent as I rushed past, my eyes directly on the door and my arms full of clothes and my make-up bag. I yanked open the front door and scurried out into the hallway, still in my pyjamas. The floor was cold and dirty, but that didn't concern me as I walked barefoot towards the elevator. I slammed the button hard, silently cursing it when it didn't open immediately. I let out a long grumble when I realised I didn't have my phone with me, so I couldn't phone Rachel or Craig to come and get me. And I couldn't go back inside. What was I going to do? I had no money, no shoes, and couldn't even take Billy's car and drive it illegally because he would have his keys. I didn't care though; I just needed to be away from Billy.

I tapped my foot restlessly as I swallowed back tears. He obviously didn't care if I wasn't there. And he thought of me as he did those slutty girls that clung to him and his gang, looking for protection or a quick fix. I was nothing like them; I didn't hang off him or coo over what he was capable of. I was with him because I wanted to be with him, not because of who he was or what he could give me.

Quiet footsteps came from behind me, and before I knew it, I was enveloped in a warm hug from Joe. I still didn't let the tears fall; I didn't want Joe to see me cry over his brother. Though I trusted Joe and loved him like a brother, I knew he would end up telling Billy that I had left to cry, whether I wanted him to or not. I pulled away from Joe, and gave him a forced smile that cracked at the edges.

"Could you give me a ride to Rachel's?" I asked as the elevator doors opened, and I walked inside, the doors closing just as Billy left the apartment to find me.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_You have to do this! You have to do this! I don't want- oh get a grip, open the damn door! _I turned back to Rachel, who stood behind me waiting to enter the apartment. She had kindly agreed to come with me to see if Billy and I would make up. If he was still cold to me, she'd help me grab some clothes and my toiletries so I could stay with her for a few days. She truly was a great friend.

Most of the gang were in the apartment (we had seen all their cars and the big white van), and they were surely partying with girls before going and doing the initiation; I knew that because they had done it all day on Trigger's initiation before coming back to my old place for some peace and quiet to discuss what would happen. Rachel really didn't want to see Tommy with lots of skanky floozies all over him.

I could hear laughter and deep voices from inside. I really didn't want to go in. I quickly opened the door, wanting to get it over with. The apartment was filled with smoke, and it didn't smell like cigarette smoke either. The kitchen area was scattered with girls and the odd guys. Who were these guys? I knew Billy had people working for him who weren't in the gang, but he only barely trusted the guys from the gang, especially after what Trigger did. Why would he trust these random guys to come to the pre-initiation party?

Rachel stepped in behind me and coughed as the sudden amount of smoke hit her. We continued walking through people I didn't recognize (though some of them said hi to Rachel and lots of them looked at me warily and moved to let me through like I was dangerous- they must of known I was Billy's girlfriend) until we came to the living room area with the couches. Most of the gang were scattered around there, all with beers in their hands and two joints being passed around the circle. There were girls sitting around the group as well, most of them sucking on the guy's necks. No girls were hanging off Billy, who sat talking to Bodie happily and taking his hit of the joints as they came around. Unfortunately for Rachel, Tommy had some brunette sitting on his lap. I turned quickly to see her big eyes boring into Tommy, who had yet to notice her in the crowd.

"You go and talk to Billy. I'm going to talk to some guys I know over there. If I don't see you in fifteen minutes, I'll guess you've made up, and I'll take off." She then began to walk away. I grasped her arm to keep her there.

"Are you okay?" I asked, regretting asking her to come with me.

She smiled broadly and nodded before telling me to go speak to Billy before scurrying off.

Speak to Billy, but how to get his attention?

After standing there watching the group for over ten minutes and none of them noticing that I was standing there, I decided that it might be best if I stayed with Rachel whilst all this initiation crap blew over.

I stormed past a group of people and barged my way past another small group. As I passed the couches and headed towards the bedroom to get my shit, Bodie noticed me, slapped Billy's arm and pointed at me.

Billy must have gotten up to follow me because as soon as I had yanked my first drawer open, he was in the room, closing the door behind him.

He slowly came to stand behind me as I looked for what I wanted. His heavy breathing was hot against my neck. I turned around, expecting him to move so I could go across the room. Instead, he stood solidly in front of me, and when I tried to go around him, he moved so that he was blocking me again.

I let out a low sigh, "Move!" I demanded, looking down at my shoes.

"Where ya goin'?" he asked, his voice low. I knew he would be staring down at me.

"Rachel's. I'm going to stay with her for a little while."

He let out a deep breath before placing his big hands on my small hips. "No, you're stayin' here with me - where ya belong," Billy murmured. _Huh? Well, he's changed his tune from earlier. _He leaned down and delicately kissed my neck; I moved my head away from, but his lips followed. His kisses trailed up my neck and across my cheek until he was kissing the corner of my mouth; his hands had now moved down to my bottom.

"Say you're sorry," I said lowly. He just let out a "mhhmmm" noise. Had he ever apologized to me before? "Say it, Billy."

He looked at me for a moment, his fierce eyes glazed over. Then he went back to kissing my neck and shoulder. "Sorry," he murmured against my skin. I couldn't help but smile triumphantly.

Billy's lips trailed back up to my mouth, and when he kissed my lips, I responded eagerly, placing my arms around his neck. His hands trailed up from my bottom until they rested at the bottom of my shirt; he tried to lift my shirt up, but I pulled away quickly. I wanted him just as bad as he wanted me.

"Have they gone?" I asked bluntly. He knew I was referring to the marks on his back. He kissed me passionately again before breaking it and nodding yes.

I allowed him to take my shirt off then.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Billy's lips trailed up my arm before he got to my neck and nuzzled on it eagerly. I smiled broadly, feeling his arms tight around my waist, and I looked over my shoulder so I could see him. I just looked at him, probably like an idiot, until he said, "What?" I just shook my head, signally that I had nothing to say. Billy grunted and kissed my head once before getting out of the bed.

I realised I wasn't going to get him to keep Joe out of the gang, so I just prayed that if I kept Billy sweet, I'd be able to convince him to not make it public knowledge that Joe was in the gang and perhaps keep their gang duties (if they had any; I wasn't sure) to a minimum. I knew Joe already sold drugs, but if I could keep him from practically running the corners, I'd be happy.

I watched as Billy bent down to pick up his clothes that had been thrown carelessly in the heat of passion. "Oh, great view," I said, biting my lip. Billy laughed to himself as he slipped his boxers and jeans back on.

My eyebrows furrowed together as he sank to the floor and searched rigorously under the bed until, to my horror, he came up with a silver tray, holding a small bag of powder, a dollar bill and an old blockbuster card.

Billy placed the tray on the bed, smirking now, and poured a small amount of powder onto the tray before beginning to section it with the card.

My eyes were wide and my mouth open; what was he doing? I had never seen him do coke before, nor did I have any indication that he used it.

"Billy, what is that?" I asked, knowing what it was but hoping it was something else and I had just jumped to conclusions. But what else could it be?

Billy looked at me now, still smirking, but his brow was raised. Once he had made two straight lines, he began rolling up the dollar bill.

I sat up quickly, moving towards the tray and Billy. "Billy, what are you doing with that?"

"What the fuck does it look like I'm doin'?" he asked. I stared at him, shocked. I didn't know what to do. "Don't act dumb, Trish. Ya knew I sometimes did this shit." Uh, no, I didn't.

"No, I didn't! But I did know that you were so addicted to it when you were sixteen - that Bones had to cuff you to a fuckin' radiator to wean you off it!" I practically shouted. His jaw clenched; I wasn't supposed to know that, now was I? I had asked Joe one night why Billy was always sniffing and wiping under his nose, my fear being he was addicted to coke. Joe told me that it had been a problem with Billy since he was fourteen until it got so out of control that Bones had to lock him up. Surely even if he only did it on random occasions spaced far apart from one another, it wasn't good for him; he could get hooked again. Or worst he was still hooked, and he was lying to me? "You can't do this!" I said as I went to pull the tray away from him.

He yanked it out of my reach and placed it on the floor. "Back off Trish."

He leaned down, about to snort a line, when I half-jumped, half-crawled onto his back and attempted to pull him back. "No, don't!" I tried to yank the dollar out of his hand and hit the tray with my foot to destroy the neat lines of the dire powder.

It must have been a sight: Billy shirtless trying to shrug off his naked girlfriend, who was wrapped around him, trying to destroy something he wanted badly. Mostly because I had told him he shouldn't have it.

He wrenched my legs from around him and, with some force, threw me off his back. I hit the wall behind us. And then as I sat forward, my back hurting after the collision with the wall, I watched Billy snort up a sharp line of cocaine. I didn't move from the wall; what was I supposed to do now? Billy sniffed twice and rubbed under his nose feverishly before turning and squinting at me. Before he could say anything, there were three taps on the door, and then Bodie walked in. I yanked the sheet off the bed to cover my exposed flesh.

"Man, everyone's gone - just the guys left. Ya ready for this?" Bodie asked, looking between Billy and me. I was looking at Billy's back and the tray of powder sitting in front of him. He could probably guess what had happened.

Billy nodded before sniffing again, standing up, roughly grabbing his shirt and throwing it over his head. He pushed the tray under the bed with his foot and looked at me seriously. "Don't fuckin' touch it, Trish." He pointed his finger warningly at me now. "I'm warning ya. Don't touch it." He then walked out of the bedroom, slamming the door after him.

I sat there in the corner with the sheet covering my naked body for I don't know how long, eyeing under the bed and wondering about what I had seen. I was scared to go out in the living room; Billy wouldn't be the same person, would he? I didn't know much about cocaine, only that though you're fully conscious of what you're doing, it gives you the confidence to do things you normally wouldn't.

It was almost eleven PM when I finally heard the apartment front door slam close. I crept out into the living room, scared of what might be out there and sighing when I noticed the place was empty. My stomach suddenly knotted; Joe was doing his initiation now.

The apartment was covered in empty beer bottles and stunk of skunk, so I began cleaning the apartment to take my mind off things (I was now clad in sweats and a vest). Once the apartment was sparkling, I sat down on the couch. My mind that kept drifting from Joe's initiation to the coke, and before I knew what I was doing, it was all down the toilet, including the cocaine that was still in the bag.

There were two loud bangs on the front door, so I slowly walked towards it, placing the tray on the table as I did so. I looked through the peep hole and furrowed my eyebrows when I couldn't see anyone. Then I saw a converse shoe on the floor. Joe wore black converse.

I practically ripped the door open to see Joe bloody and battered-looking. He had been left slumped by the apartment door alone. He whined in pain as he fell backwards. I bent down so that I could see him properly. His cheek was grazed, his nose was bloody, and his eye was puffy and red; his lip was split, and its blood mixed with blood from his nose, all of it running down his chin.

I wrapped my arm around him and tried to help him off the ground. He yelped and clutched his ribs. He sucked in a sharp breath before saying with a grimace, "I think-" He sucked in another sharp breath. "Some of my ribs are, aw, broken!" His grimace conveyed the pain that he was going through.

"We have to get you to the hospital," I said, trying to get him to stand up. He sucked in a sharp breath again and murmured something about Fat Phil. "No, I'm not taking you to him. I'm gonna get you to a hospital. How did you get here?"

He took a while to answer as he attempted to stand. He sucked in jagged breaths. "The guys." His jaw was clenched. "Billy's car's downstairs."

I eventually got him downstairs and into the car. I jumped into the driver's seat and then realized that I didn't have the keys. When I asked Joe, he told me they were in his pocket, and I got them out. Billy was probably too high to drive. I was nervous about driving on the streets. Yes, I'd had many lessons from Billy and Joe and sometimes Rachel, but I still didn't have a license. I hoped the cops didn't try to pull us over.

We drove through the neighborhood in silence, and though I was worried about Joe, I knew when he was well, I'd be smug that I was driving really well.

Finally I spoke. "What happened, Joey?"

He ignored me.

"Joey! You better tell me!"

He sucked in a sharp breath before speaking. "It's nothing."

"You can hardly fucking walk or breath. Tell me what happened or I'm just gonna stop here, and I'll wait until you tell me," I said as I began slowing down.

"Fine," he choked out. I picked up speed again. "I couldn't do it." Another sharp breath. "And Billy, aw, got pissed and gave me a beating." He did _what_?

My grip on the steering wheel tightened, and my jaw locked. "Why? What did you have to do, Joe?" Maybe the initiation is different for different people?

He sucked in another sharp breath and coughed. "I had to fuckin' stick some guy, who we caught trying to rape some chick in a fuckin' alley!" Okay, so the bastard deserved to be sent down or even killed, but it wasn't Joe or Billy's job to decide. Joe's eyes were filling up now, and his voice had a hint of hysteria in it. "I couldn't fuckin' do it. I should have been able to."

"It's okay, Joe. You did a good thing."

We got to the hospital minutes later, and with some help from the nurses who were outside taking their break, we got Joe inside and seen by a doctor. I sat in the waiting room, waiting for some sort of news on how badly a beating Billy had given Joe.

The waiting room was a horrible yellow color with old plastic chairs with green vinyl covering. The dull brown carpet had numerous stains on it, whether from people throwing up or bleeding on it I did not know, but it left grim dark patches on it.

I sat, tapping my fingers relentlessly on my leg and waiting for the doctor. Every time a doctor in a white coat came by, I seemed to be standing up, thinking that it was someone coming to let me know what was going on.

The waiting room was relatively quiet, only me and two other men sat there. The first man, who sat two seats away from me, sat quite calmly - like he had no care in the word as he rubbed his graying moustache and read a Charles Dickens novel. The other man, who sat at the other side of the waiting room, had blood all over his hands and shirt, and he shook quite violently. The hot drink he had in one of his hands spilled over its plastic brown cup, not that the man seemed to notice.

I was so shocked at what Billy had done. I didn't think he was capable of doing such a thing to Joe, his little brother, who he strove to protect from Bones and anyone else, the one person he clearly cared about. And it was all because he couldn't kill some vulgar man. Did Billy think it was okay to kill someone because of what they did or were going to do? He didn't have the right to decide that.

"Miss Darley?" _Hmm? _I looked up to see a skinny doctor with freckles scattered across his cheeks and a pointed nose.

"Uh, yes?" I said, guessing Joe had said I was a Darley so they could tell me what was going on.

"Hi, my name's Dr. Leroy. I've checked your brother over, and he was quite lucky from what I can tell. I've sent him up for an X-ray on his ribs, though I don't think they're broken. Some may be cracked. We're going to keep him in overnight; he hit his head pretty bad, but I don't believe that it's anything serious - probably just some bruising. But it's better to be on the safe side." Hit his head? He hadn't mentioned anything about his head, and I hadn't seen any bleeding. Had I? I couldn't remember clearly; I was so angry and concerned at the time that I may have missed something. "Miss Darley-"

"Trish," I corrected. I didn't want to be called a Darley. The way I was feeling about Billy at that moment, we could be together a hundred years, and I wouldn't be a Darley.

Dr. Leroy smiled pleasantly at me. "Trish, did your brother say anything about what happened to him?"

_Oh God, what do I say? _I wanted to shout from the roof: yes, it was his asshole brother - call the cops! But I knew Joe would never do that to Billy. "No, he didn't." The man smiled, though I knew he knew that I was lying. "Um, when can I see him?"

"By the time he's had his X-rays and we put him in a room. I'd say about an hour." The doctor then quickly made his leave.

An hour? That gave me enough time.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I pulled up outside a tall, dark building that had a bright pin sign above the door saying "Maxi's." I quickly got out of the car and headed towards the entrance, but a big guy with a wide nose and green eyes stood in front of me. He was massive, nearly seven feet tall.

"Sorry, can't let you in," he said, looking down at me.

"Excuse me?"

"I can't let ya in. If your boyfriend's inside, you're just going to have to wait until he comes out." Apparently, pissed off girlfriends turned up here a lot. I almost began to walk away, but then stood my ground, squared my shoulders and stared the man directly in the eye as an idea popped into my head.

"I'm not here for no guy. I'm just here for a dance; I take it the girls inside will still dance for other girls, right?" His eye bore into mine, and I stared right back, wanting him to believe me.

"Ya sure ya ain't goin' in for some trouble?"

"No, sir." Slowly, as if he was unsure, he opened the door, and as I walked past, the man spoke again.

"I'm warning ya, if there's any trouble…" He didn't finish - just pointed at me weirdly before turning and closing the door behind me.

The club was relatively dark with lights that flashed every few minutes. The bar at the far end of the club was lit up but not brightly enough to see all the tables and booths in front of it. There was a spotlight on the stage where a girl with raven hair to her shoulders danced around in only a thong.

I squinted my eyes as I walked behind the tables, trying to find some indication of Billy being here. I had already checked the bar, and none of them were there. The club was moderately quiet, so I didn't have to gawk at many people before I found Billy's table.

Baggy, Bodie, Dog, Spink and Billy all sat around a table close to the stage. Baggy had a stripper sitting on his lap, trying to earn extra money, and so did Billy.

Anger raged inside me. How could he sit there with some sleazy stripper on his lap, enjoying himself after what he had done to Joe? I stormed over to the table; none of them heard me coming over the loud music. Billy was laughing; I could see his bald head bobbing. I slapped the back of that bald head with such force that I heard the noise of it over the music.

Billy practically threw the stripper off his lap and stood up, spinning round to face me. The rest of the guys had stood up now too.

The strippers both stood behind the guys, whispering to one another.

"You're an asshole," I declared, picking up a pint glass of beer from the table and throwing it in his face.

His jaw locked, and his head tilted to the side slightly as his nostrils flared. Beer streamed down his face. He wiped it away with his sleeve, a mad look in his eye. "What - you going to give me a fucking beating as well now? Huh?" I yelled.

Before Billy could answer, a voice I'd only heard minutes before came from behind me. "Listen lady, I fuckin' warned ya." The man tried to grip my shoulders and pull me away, but I shrugged him off. When he tried again, I hit his arm with my elbow. The man wrapped his massive arm around my waist, lifted me over his shoulder, and began to walk towards the main doors to kick me out. I beat on his back with my fists, yelling like a madwoman.

"Get off of me!"

Billy stormed towards the massive man, who made Billy look small in comparison. Billy began to rip me off the man's shoulders. The bouncer pulled at me hard whilst Billy pulled too; it was like a tug of war. Not very pleasant for me.

Finally, Billy got me over his shoulder and growled at the man, "I'll fuckin' take her!"

The man didn't object, but followed us out until we were outside of the club. I beat on Billy's back until he practically threw me off his back by his car.

"How could you do that to your own brother?" I yelled, pointing at him now. "All because he couldn't fucking kill somebody, you cold-hearted bastard!" I yelled at the top of my lungs.

Billy looked on either side of him now, checking who was around.

I ran a hand through my wayward hair and looked down at my feet before looking back at an uncharacteristically silent Billy. "Are you nothing but a fucking killer? What about Trigger, huh? Did he actually run away or did you blow his brains out?" I said, tears streaming down my face at the thought of Trigger being dead. "It's no wonder he wanted me to get away from a waste of space like you."

I turned around and began to walk off, wiping at my tears. Billy came behind me, grasped my arm and pulled me to him.

"Get off of me!" I yelled. The bouncer by the door of the club was eyeing us both now, though he made no move to help the screaming lady. What a gent. "I swear, Billy if you don't get off-"

"What ya gonna do?" he hissed into my ear. "Huh?"

I shuddered against his hot breath before attempting to yank myself away from him. When he wouldn't let go, I hit him on the chest with my hand.

A car that was passing slowed down drastically until it stopped completely. It was a cop car.

I thought Billy might let go of me once he saw the cops getting out of the car, but he didn't. "Billy, let go," I said through clenched teeth and then tried to wiggle away again.

"Is there a problem here?" one of the rookies asked.

"Why don't ya stay outta this buddy?" Billy snarled at the officers. I almost expected them to back down; I would have with the tone of his voice.

"Please, let go of her, sir," the other rookie, who was just as tall as Billy and evenly built, said seeing my discomfort.

"It's fine officers, really," I said, trying to smile at them even though tears still leaked from my eyes. I was still stuck firmly in Billy's grasp.

"Ya heard her. Get outta here," Billy added.

The tall rookie eyed me solemnly before speaking. "I'm not going to ask you again, sir. Please let her go." He could tell that Billy was hurting me by the way he was holding me and that I didn't want to be there.

Billy didn't let go.

"You leave us no choice, sir," the small officer said as both he and the other officer grasped Billy strong arms and tried to pull him away from me. Billy let go of me, turned around and swung his fist at the smaller officer, hitting him square in the mouth.

I stood back, watching with a hand to my mouth as Billy staggered slightly after hitting the officer, probably because the amount he had drunk and snorted. Then the taller officer, taking advantage of Billy's stagger, pushed him against the cop car. The small officer was back on his feet, helping the taller officer restrain Billy as they put the cuffs on him.

"I am arresting you for assaulting a police officer. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you…"

I practically ran towards Billy as they flung him into the back of the cop car. "Please, he didn't mean to hit you. He's drunk. Please," I pleaded with the smaller officer.

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but we've got to take him in," he replied before getting into the car, rubbing his jaw and driving off, leaving me standing there speechless.

Billy had just been arrested for assaulting a police officer. Didn't you normally get sent down for that offense?


	16. untitled

**Hey guys, sorry it's been awhile since I updated. Reviews would be amazing as they spur me on to write and im kind of stuck at the moment. Thanks to my amazing beta WISERY.**

"Aw!" Joe hissed as he struggled down our apartment complex's hallway; he walked slowly in front of me, clutching his bruised ribs with one of his arms. I raised my hand slowly to touch his shoulder but stopped in mid-air; I wasn't sure if any sort of pressure on his upper body would hurt him.

"Do you not feel any better?" I asked. Joe didn't reply, just letting out another hiss of pain. "You'd think that after them bandaging you up and giving you those pain meds, you'd feel slightly better," I said casually before slipping past him and going to open the door.

"Wait," Joe said from behind me as my hand touched the door knob. "Is Billy in there?" he groggily asked.

Yeah, I'd failed to mention about my late night visit to Maxi's and Billy being arrested. Hmm, how to word it? I looked up at Joe's bruised face as he gazed down with his sad eyes. I turned quickly back around before answering.

"I'll explain once we're inside." I quickly opened the door and held it open for Joe to come in. He hobbled in, looking around and probably expecting to see Billy crashed on the couch or his biker boots thrown carelessly around the room. Seeing neither sign of Billy, Joe eased onto the couch, hissing and holding his ribs. I stared awkwardly at Joe before moving over to the couch and sitting next to him.

"Last night, when you were having your x-rays taken, I kinda went down to the strip club and had it out with Billy," I admitted. Joe flung his head back and exhaled deeply.

"And?" Joe said, his head still thrown back and his eyes closed. I flicked some hair out of my face quickly.

"Well, we got into a fight outside the club, and the cops came." Joe let out a long groan, which turned more painful because of his ribs. "And Billy punched one of them, and he got taken in." I finally concluded. "I don't know if they've released him yet. He'll turn up soon; they probably just kept him overnight." Joe stayed silent for a while.

"Assaulting a fuckin' cop. That's - that's - fuck. He's only just got off probation. I dunno, maybe Bones will be able to sort it out if Billy cant." I bit my lip nervously and tugged on the hem of my shirt. Joe seemed to be thinking the worst. Well, I wasn't going to. They wouldn't throw the book at him for a small tap to the face of one rookie; it wasn't like he beat the shit out of him. We sat in silence for a few minutes before Joe spoke up. "Ima try to get some sleep - couldn't sleep for shit in that damn hospital bed. Wake me up if Billy doesn't turn up in the next few hours." He got up, gasping in pain before slowly walking into his bedroom and closing the door.

I sat there for what seemed like hours. If I hadn't gone to the club, Billy wouldn't have been arrested and Joe and I wouldn't be sitting around wondering what would happen next. And what if the bouncer spoke up about me calling Billy a killer? Would they begin digging to find something hard to slap on him?

Three loud bangs made me jump from my seat and rush towards the front door. I hoped that it was Billy. I almost tripped over my feet as I rushed and yanked the door open.

It wasn't Billy.

Bodie stood outside, smiling and sucking on the cigarette between his lips. His smile faltered when I answered the door. He pulled the cigarette out of his mouth before blowing out the smoke and walking past me into the kitchen area. His eyes scanned the main room, seeing neither Billy nor Joe. "Billy in bed? Is Joe okay?" he asked all at once, beginning to suck on his cigarette again.

Bodie clearly hadn't been home the night before. He wore the same black vest and light blue jeans that he'd worn the previous night in the strip club, and he smelt of stale beer.

I closed the door, turned around, and noticed that there were specks of dried blood on the top of his jeans. I clenched my jaw, knowing that was Joe's blood.

I faced him with my arms folded across my chest, not knowing what to do. I was completely disappointed and worried that it wasn't Billy at the door, but another part of me was annoyed with Bodie for his part in getting Joe beaten up. Bodie looked at me with his brow furrowed, probably wondering why I wasn't answering him.

"Joe is in bed, if you really care. He didn't get much sleep last night - being stuck in hospital and all," I said bitterly.

"Hospital?" Bodie repeated, bringing his hand that held the cigarette up and rubbing his jaw with it. "Billy fuck him up that bad? He looked-"

I interrupted. "Just Billy, was it? So that's not Joe's blood on your pants?" Bodie looked down, realizing that I was accusing him.

"Hey, wait a fuckin' minute! I pulled Billy off Joey. Joe would still be in the fuckin' hospital if it weren't for me." I hadn't thought of that.

"Oh."

Bodie sucked sharply on his cigarette. "What'd the doctor say?" I was surprised that he didn't ask why I hadn't taken him to fat Phil.

I explained to him about Joe's injuries while making us coffee. I walked over, holding both scalding mugs, and handed one to Bodie, who was now sitting on the couch. "Billy here now? Or as he taken off?" he asked as I sat next to him, my brow creased together. Taken off? Why would he take off? Bodie notice my reaction and continued explaining.

"He normally fucks off for a few days when he does this. Gets fucked up with as much booze and drugs as his body can handle. I was waiting for him to get up and take off any minute in the strip club before you turned up, and then when I went outside, you were both gone. I figured either you'd both gone home or he'd taken off and you'd gone home by yourself."

"Does he do that often; beat up Joe, I mean?" I had never seen or heard of Billy beating Joe. But then again Billy and I had only been serious for a short period of time. Before that, I wouldn't see him for days at a time anyway, so I wouldn't have known if he'd taken off.

"Nah, he's given him a few clouts in the past, but nothing serious. He's only beat on him like he did last night once or twice before." I nodded, showing my understanding. "Ya know, it's just Billy's temper, and he feels guilty about hurting Joe. That's why he's taken off." But he hadn't taken off. "He ever beat on you?" Bodie asked seriously. Well, I wasn't expecting that question. My eyes shot up.

"No. God, no. He's gotten a little rough, but he's never hit me. I thought sometimes that he was going to, but he'd always walk away and hit a wall or something. Like you said, it's just his temper," I replied. "I, uh," I began speaking again. "Billy hasn't taken off."

Bodie raised his brows, probably wondering how I knew. I explained what had happened the previous night. Bodie's thick brows continued to scrunch together as I told my tale of the police arriving and Billy punching one of the rookies. Bodie muttered something that didn't quite reach my ears before standing up and rubbing his face with his large hands.

"I gotta go and deliver to Bones. Then if he's gone and got himself locked up-" I stood up quickly and interrupted him.

"He'll probably be out within the next few hours. Won't he?"

"I don't know. I'll go down to the station, see if they plan on letting him out anytime soon." Bodie stood, still planning his day, and I knew he was preparing in case they didn't let Billy out soon.

I frowned. Of course they'd let him out. They had to. "I'm coming with you."

Bodie stared at me with his deep set, dark eyes for a few moments before answering, "Well then let's go."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Oh, c'mon," I said, relentlessly tapping my fingers against the dashboard. Bodie had been with Bones for over fifteen minutes. Surely it didn't take that long to drop off some cash?

I stared out of the windshield at the dodgy looking chop shop with a couple of scrapped cars left outside, all protected by a metal fence.

A dog hooked to one of the cars wailed and pulled at his chain, adding a rattling noise to his loud barks; it was hard to think.

Minutes later, Bodie appeared through the door, carrying the green canvas bag that now looked considerably lighter and emptier than it had going in. He took quick strides towards the car before yanking the driver's side door open and slamming it shut behind him. "Fuckin' prick," he mumbled as he threw the empty bag into the backseat.

"What happened?" I asked as the engine roared to life and we began driving away from the chop shop.

Bodie glanced over to me as I spoke before leaning over and taking the cigarette that was in my hand and puffing on it himself. "Nothing; Bones was just being his usual self. A fuckin' dildo."

We drove down towards the police station, and as we pulled into the parking lot, the engine of the car squealed loudly - almost as if it didn't want to go anywhere near any form of police officers. Exactly how Bodie felt at that moment.

"Ya gonna wait in the car?" Bodie asked, his hand on the door handle. I think he was delaying. I ripped the door open without saying a word - Bodie followed suit - and as I slammed the door shut, I leaned over the car.

"I'm coming with you. That's my boyfriend in there."

Bodie strolled around to my side and continued walking past me towards the police station's main door; I rushed to keep pace with him. "And that's my best friend in there." Bodie replied with a serious look in his eye.

The tall grey building was menacing. I wondered in which part Billy would be holed up in.

Bodie skipped most of the steps leading into the building, taking them at two and sometimes three at a time. I rushed behind him, taking a step at a time until we got onto the flat surface where there were old brown doors with crisscrossed wire across the windows. We entered the somewhat noisy reception area and headed straight up to the counter, but there was no one to help us.

A couple of police officers stood chatting behind the counter, all with coffees in their hands. Surely they had something better to do.

"Well, look who it is. Richard Mathews, come to hand yourself in?" a loud, jolly voice said from the side of us. Bodie and I turned to see a tall, skinny man with wispy gray hair and a cheap suit smiling at us. Bodie grinned back at the man.

"What's up, Reggie? Man, I aint' seen ya since you done me for that lame ass assault three years ago. It broke my lil' heart," Bodie said, proceding to put his large hand to his heart. "Having you help them lock me away. Ya know I didn't do it. Ya know I've gone straight since that time you almost got me for armed robbery." The man's face turned sour. "Ya remember that huh? Ya nearly had it, nearly had that case closed. It's just a shame that your witness refused to testify." Bodie looked smug now.

"It's Detective Mason to you. Now, if you're not here to help clean up these streets by handing yourself in, what are you here for?" the man spat out angrily, squeezing his coffee tightly. He looked like he was about to have an aneurysm.

"Billy was brought in last night," Bodie began. Suddenly the detective began smirking. "I just wanna know when he'll be out."

"Has he already been released?" I asked, my voice a high pitched squeak.

"I'm sorry I can't give that information to you; you'll have to have a family member come down here. But, I can assure you, that if there really is a Darley in one of my cells, me and my team are going to work our asses off to keep him there for as long as possible." The man began to walk off.

"Wait, you have to tell me something. I'm Billy's girlfriend. He doesn't deserve to be here; it was my fault-" I began walking towards the man. Bodie grabbed my arm as the detective cocked a graying eyebrow at me.

"C'mon, Trish; they aint gonna say shit." He began gently pulling me out of the building, nodding at a man in a black suit as he did.

My body began trembling as I walked ahead to the car, realizing what I had done. Most of the cops in that station would give their left hands - no scratch that - their left arms to get something on Billy. I had successfully handed Billy to a pack of raging wolves, who would do anything to get him. And probably would not stop until they had something good.

I fumbled with my seat belt once I got into the car and turned my body away from Bodie, so that I was facing the window as the tears began to stream my face. What had I done? I'd never be able to forgive myself if they sent Billy down for something. Joe would never forgive me. And Billy… I didn't want to think about it.

We sped through the streets in silence. I didn't know where we were going; I didn't care. All I could see was Billy being stuck in a cold cell on his own, and that smug detective's face when he realized Billy was there.

Without a word Bodie pulled into a grassy clearing. Empty beer cans were scattered; I guessed teenagers came here and got wasted. It was very secluded.

I didn't know why we were here. I didn't ask. Bodie was probably about to make a deal. I just continued resting on the glass window, tracing patterns in the condensation.

We waited in the grassy clearing for over twenty minutes before another car slowly entered it. Bodie leaned forward and squinted towards it before muttering something about them taking their time as he got out of Billy's mustang. I didn't look up; I just continued tracing patterns.

"What the fuck ya mean 'ya can't do shit'?!" Bodie's voice was louder now. Loud enough that I could hear it clearly. I glanced up, and my brows instantly furrowed together once I saw who Bodie was talking to.

The cop from the station. The one Bodie had nodded at as we left. The one in the black suit.

My hand fumbled for the door handle, and I rushed out to see what was going on. The cop, whose blue tie was loose around his neck and whose black hair looked as if he had run his hands through it many times in the past ten minutes, looked at me with suspicious eyes as I got to them.

"It's okay; this is Trish, Billy's girl." Bodie was confirming that it was okay for the cop to continue talking with me there.

So the cop was bent. That didn't surprise me. It wouldn't surprise me if someone told me that half of Chicago PD was bent. It was only rational that the Darleys would know their fair share of bent cops. The bent copper eyed me warily, but then turned his eyes back to Bodie.

"Look, I told ya. I can't do anything. They've already charged him." My breath caught in my throat. "It's going to court within the next two weeks. They fuckin' pushed for an early date." My eyes stung. They had charged him. Oh shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. "He's been refused bail, too."

I stood still with my hands covering my face as Bodie continued to talk to the bent copper, who continued to say he could do fuck all. Bodie grasped my wrist and began to gently pull me towards the car after he was done talking. As soon as I sat down in the car, the angry tears streamed down my face.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" I sobbed into my arm.

Bodie looked at me with careful eyes before gently patting my arm. I don't think he was used to crying women. "I'm gonna go see Bones. He'll be able to sort this shit out."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Two weeks later.

Bones. I and most others could only describe him as a jackass. An overweight, greasy, disgusting excuse for a man. A foul mouthed, cruel, money hungry waste of space. A man that would sell his kids' enemies guns for the right price. A man that happily beat on his sons and forced them into his gun slinging, drug running empire. He didn't care if they had other dreams or aspirations; they were raised to become what he had become. A cruel, masochistic, piece of shit.

He had successfully reared his kids into believing there was no other life for them apart from one that included drugs, money, and gangs. He had managed to get them out delivering packages at the tender age of twelve, never knowing anything different from that life. Almost believing every kid did it. He had taught them how to be ruthless and unremorseful men who would kill if they had to. He had given them knives at the age of nine, and he'd taken them out to learn how to shoot when they were twelve, not for their own protection, but for the protection of his prized packages.

He had evidently destroyed his two sons' lives, Billy and Joe, before they had even started.

And now, when one of them needed his help, his influence, and a small amount of money, he turned his back on him.

Bones had told Bodie casually that he wasn't going to help Billy, that Billy had brought this upon himself, and that he was old enough to take care of it by himself.

Bodie believed that he was doing this to teach Billy a lesson, a lesson on how to control his anger. Joe and I just thought he was being a dick. Bones had refused to get involved, stating that the authorities were all over it and that there was fuck all he could do.

Bodie was leading the gang at the moment.

And Billy was still inside.

My eyes closed tight as I threw water across my damp forehead. It was Billy's trial the next day, and Bones was still refusing to help him. I knew he could; he had that much influence, but he wouldn't.

I didn't know what I could do.

Bones wouldn't help his eldest son.

Joe was barely talking to me.

And Billy refused to see or speak with me.

My heart was literally about to crack, about to shatter into a thousand pieces. And I knew that it was only a small amount of time until it broke off into useless shards. The love of my life was about to get sent down. Yes, Billy had his faults, but he was the love of my life. He was the reason I got up in the morning, to see his icy eyes and his cocky smirk. To be around his witty playfulness and his stubborn attitude problem. To listen to him take charge and look out for those he cared about. But most of all, I missed the way he looked at me. The soft, loving look when he thought I wasn't watching. That look gave me hope; hope that he might actually love me. Even if it was only a fraction of the love I had for him.

I sucked in a sharp breath before quickly leaving the bathroom.

Joe sat on the couch, staring blankly at the TV. He was becoming increasingly bored since he had cracked a few of his ribs. He couldn't do much without being in pain, let alone hang out, get pissed with his friends, or work some of Billy's corners. Bodie and Baggy had been doing double shifts to cover him. I wasn't sure who was covering Billy.

"I'm going to the store. You want anything?" My voice was hoarse. I'd gone from smoking twenty cigarettes a day to forty. Joe continued to stare blankly at the TV.

"No."

Yeah, he was still pissed, but he wouldn't say that he was; that was the worst part. I knew he thought if I'd just stayed in the hospital none of this would have happened. And he was right.

I nodded slowly, turned towards the door, and left quickly with Billy's car keys in my hand. I didn't care that I didn't have a license anymore.

Bodie was walking down the apartment complex corridor. "Where ya off to, Blondie?"

"The store. You want anything?" He just shook his head "no" and continued walking towards the apartment. The only good thing about Billy being locked away was that he wasn't there to make sure I always had someone with me. Though I'd have ten of his goons always with me if it meant he'd be home.

But it also showed how pissed he was at me. I thought he didn't care anymore. He spoke to Bodie and Joe regularly on the phone, and he never mentioned me having the guys with me all the time. Plus he wouldn't talk to me.

My head was so caught in a flurry of thoughts about wanting Billy home and Bones being a jackass that I didn't realize where I'd pulled up. Outside Bones's body shop.

I stared at the gritty body shop with scrapped cars parked outside, waiting to be sold for pieces. Before I knew what I was doing, I was out of the car and pushing the metal chained gate open.

A yapping dog began barking at me as I walked past; it was chained to one of the cars. I just sped up until I was indoors.

Three men working over two different cars looked up at me as I stepped inside. Their faces were covered with sweat and oil. One of the men, who had a mullet, wolf whistled before slowly walking over to me. "Can I help ya, pretty lady?" the guy said with a toothpick hanging out the side of his mouth.

"Is Bones here?" I asked confidently, standing straight and squaring my shoulders, though the man was still a good foot taller than me and had shoulders almost twice the size of mine.

His friendly smile dropped slightly. "Who's askin'?"

"Trish. Billy's girlfriend." The man's face completely dropped, and he backed off quickly. He headed down a hall, and was back within a minute.

He just nodded towards the hallway and went back to the rusty old Cadillac he had been working on.

I quickly walked down the hallway, which had old tumble dryers in the walls. Did this place used to be a Laundromat? The corridor was dark and had a half open door at the end of it. I knocked lightly on it before entering.

The room was large with arches in the ceiling, and was painted with flaky gray paint. A cluttered desk was at the far side of the room, and a big empty chair sat behind it. I slowly walked forward and heard a heavy door slam from my right; my head snapped towards the noise to see Bones waddling back over to his desk.

"And what can I do for ya, princess?" he gruffly asked as he switched one pair of large framed glasses for another nearly identical pair.

It took me awhile to find my voice. "I was hoping you'd reconsider helping Billy. It's not too late." I tried to square my shoulders and look calm, but I couldn't. This man absolutely terrified me.

He grunted a loud grunt, and the chair behind him squeaked. "And what do I get out of this?"

My eyes narrowed at him. "You'll get to see your son out of prison." Like it wasn't obvious.

Bones stared at me through his thick rimmed glasses, and I thought he was going to agree. "Well, I want something in return. From you."

"I'll give you anything you want," I chirped in, glad that I was actually getting somewhere. Maybe he did have a heart, and he could see how hurt I was.

He sniffed. "Anything, huh? Strip." I stared at him in shock. Was he serious? "Well, if ya don't want Billy to get out -" This was the only way I could get Billy out. It was the only way I'd get him back. I would do anything for that. "There's a good girl," Bones smarmily grunted as I lifted my shirt over my head, fighting back tears. "Come here." I started taking small steps closer to him, my face now in a small grimace as the first tear streamed my face. "Don't fuckin' cry. This will be over before ya know it."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I felt sick. No scratch that - I _was_ sick. What kind of human being would do that? Fuck their boyfriend's dad to get them out of prison. My stomach churned. I pulled quickly to the side of the road, yanked the door open, and vomited all over the sidewalk. The vomit kept coming, like an endless river of shame and disgust.

I stayed at the side of that road for a good twenty minutes, crying and vomiting before I could manage to get the strength to continue driving.

At least Billy would get out now. I told myself over and over. But that didn't stop the complete disgust and outrage I had with myself.

The car screeched to a halt outside my apartment complex, and I threw my head down on the steering wheel, still sobbing for a few minutes.

I could still smell him on me. His wretched body odor that had made me vomit in my mouth whilst I was _with _him. I had swallowed it. Maybe it would have been better if I had chunked all over him and his desk. Maybe he would have stopped sooner. Maybe it would have put him off.

I kept my head down as I dashed up the stairs. My stomach wasn't strong enough for the jerky elevator. I practically fell into the apartment door. I sucked in a sharp breath before opening the door. I didn't want Joe or Bodie to know that something was up. If they asked I'd say I'd gotten sick and avoid further questions on where I'd been.

Luckily nobody was there.

I dashed into the shiny bathroom and threw myself towards the toilet, where I vomited again. It was just bile now. After gasping and gagging by the toilet for God only knows how long, I swilled my mouth out with water and turned the shower on quickly. I fell into it and instantly grabbed my flannel and began scrubbing my body.

Two hours later, I stumbled out of the bathroom, my body red raw from being scrubbed so hard. I still felt dirty.

Still nobody was home. Good. I deserved to be left alone to rot.

My breathing became heavy, and I was suddenly very aware of the four walls around me. I quickly slumped to the floor, tears still leaking from my sore, puffy eyes. I was sure they were no longer chocolate brown, more a pink red color.

I curled up in a ball on the floor. This was good. Until my head shot up looking for a large dose of oxygen. My whimpering made it hard to breathe.

As I sucked on the beautiful oxygen - it tasted so pure and clean - everything I wasn't, I noticed the plump green canvas bag in the corner of the room. I crawled over to it slowly, not knowing what I was doing and pulled it open. It had a few brown paper bags in it and small baggies of heroin and cocaine. I was so used to being around drugs when they were being made and cut that now I could tell which ones were which. I guessed one of the guys was supposed to be picking the bag up. The guys wouldn't usually be so careless as to leave a bag full of their merchandise in the living room. I would stake my life on it that Joe was supposed to be waiting for Heco to come and was then supposed to be giving Heco the goods (which would usually be hidden underneath two floorboards in mine and Billy's room if for some reason they were being kept there in the first place). But I could guarantee one of Joe's floozies had called him over, so he packed the bag for Heco and left it where he'd find it. But Heco hadn't turned up. Again. It didn't bother me.

With my mouth slightly ajar and my eyes sore and red I picked up one of the small bags of cocaine, a drug that had mildly repulsed me previously, and emptied the bag onto the coffee table. There wasn't much in it; only enough for three or four lines. I didn't care; that was enough for me.

Almost as if I was an experienced addict, I begin making a line with my finger. It wasn't very straight or even due to my finger cutting it and my lack of experience. I sucked up a sharp line. It burnt.

But just like I had felt when my father had died, I felt now. I didn't want to remember. I didn't want to remember anything about it.

So I began to chop another line.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

My eyes stung when the light hit them; I slammed them back close. My nose burned and felt like I'd had a bad cold and been rubbing rigorously underneath my nostrils.

I was in bed. I'm sure I'd sprawled myself across the sofa and fallen asleep there. Hmmm? Maybe I woke up in the middle of the night and went to bed.

I felt rough, like I'd drunk my body weight in alcohol and then some. And that was only with a few lines. I didn't care that I had used a drug I was opposed to. It had helped me block out the images of Bones.

It was only a onetime thing. Bones would bribe or threaten the judge or something, and Billy would be out, and he'd never have to know about Bones or the drugs. I wasn't going to be doing either again.

Did I regret screwing Bones? No. Definitely not. I would do it a thousand times over if it meant getting Billy out. Did I regret doing the coke? No, it helped me ease what would have been a painful night.

I slowly got out of the bed; my feet seemed to move sluggishly until I got to the living room. My eyes scanned the room, but widened in shock when I saw what time it was. _1:57PM!!!!!!!!_

_OH FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. _I had missed Billy's trial; I had slept through it. It had started at eleven. I ran into the bedroom and began throwing on a pair of old jeans. I didn't care if I looked a mess.

I was under specific orders from Bodie, who had been given them by Billy, that I was not to go to the hearing. I wasn't going to listen. Sure I wouldn't be in the court room, but I could wait outside, ready to greet my man when he was let go.

As I was bending down to grab my shoes, the front door opened and closed quickly. I stared up frozen. Was Billy home? My stomach began to dance as I rushed out of the bedroom and into the living room and planned to jump my man.

But it wasn't Billy standing there. It was Joe.

My eyes darted around him. Where was Billy?

Joe glared at me.

"Billy? Is he with the guys?" I asked eagerly. Joe continued to stare at me with disgust in his eyes.

He was silent for a long time. "Joe?"

"Billy's been sentenced to six months inside."


	17. Getting more and more messed up

Hey, I know it's been ages since I updated last. But this chapter took so long to write- I had major writers block!

Thanks to JainaZekk621 who was my 100th reviewer :) eee. And also a huge thanks to bubbletea4me who has been great to talk to, and a thankyou to Wisery who beta'd this for me.

Not long left to go- 3/4 chapters I'd say and all the loose ends will be tied up.

Please Please Please review.

--

"Joe, get up. I've made you breakfast," I yelled from the kitchen as I put two pieces of crispy bacon on a plate next to a mountain of scrambled eggs. "Joey."

No reply. No sound came from his room.

It was all too much. My face fell into my hands, and I leaned my head forward so it was resting on the wall. "You're going to have to talk to him," I finally said, running my cool hands through my limp hair and turning to look at Bodie, who lounged lazily on the couch.

Bodie didn't reply - just stared at the wall beside me. Was I fucking invisible today or something?

"Isn't that why you're here anyways? To sort his moody ass out," I said loudly with my hands on my hips. "That's why Billy told you stay here, right, to keep an eye on Joe," I mumbled, looking at the floor at the mention of Billy's name.

I still felt guilty about Billy being sent down; after all, it was my fault. And with Billy refusing my visits and phone calls, it was fucking me up. I never realised how much I craved him before - craved his unique smoky smell, his harsh words and soft touches, the loud thump of his boots as he came to bed in the early hours of the morning, and the attention he lavished upon me from time to time.

I desperately tried not to think about him. But I couldn't escape him. I lived in his apartment with his little brother, I worked in his 'second home' the Four Roses, and I surrounded myself with his friends, workers, and family.

My life had become Billy Darley.

But he clearly didn't want me in his life.

And neither did Joe.

Bodie stood up, his long arms fell to his sides, and he straightened his lopsided black shirt. The shirt was unbuttoned, and he wore no t-shirt with underneath. "Billy also wanted me here to take care of you."

I let out a small huff. I found it hard to believe that Billy would want anyone to take care of me after what I had done. "I'm going to get the mail," I said, and I swiftly left the apartment.

Great. The key was jammed. I wiggled the key around in the rusty locker. The musty mail room in the apartment complex basement reeked of piss, and if you stayed too long, you were in danger of seeing some form of vermin scurrying around. A cracked red bucket was placed in the corner of the smelly room; I think to catch the leaks from an upstairs toilet.

I angrily tried to ram my hand into the small slot at the top of our apartment's mail box, trying to get the mail that way. But my slender fingers couldn't reach the mail.

I yanked on the key again, becoming more and more frustrated.

"I'm not going to be beaten by a fucking lock!" I practically yelled, staring angrily at the rusty lock.

A gruff chuckle came from behind me. "Technically Trish, the lock has already won. It's made you angry."

Bodie strolled over to me and gently removed my hands from the lock. He pulled on the lock for a few seconds before it opened with a wail. I shot an annoyed glare his way before going and collecting the mail; we seriously needed to do it more often.

The majority of the pile of white and brown envelopes was addressed to a Mr. William Darley. I flipped through nonchalantly, ignoring the ones addressed to me; I'd take a look at them later. There was only one letter I was searching the pile for.

Quickly, I slammed the mail room locker closed and began to rush back upstairs towards our apartment; Bodie was walking casually behind me, probably wondering what the hurry was.

Slightly out of breath, I rushed into the apartment and looked around, earnestly hoping that Joe had left the black pit that was his room.

I couldn't see Joe in the main of the apartment, so without knocking I rushed into Joe's room. The curtains were drawn and a strong smell of stale smoke hit me as I rushed through. I flew onto Joe's bed, waking the groggy monster that lay under its stained sheets.

"Errrrghhh what the?" Joe asked, his eyes half-open slits, as I pulled the covers from over his face.

I impatiently slapped his arm with one of his letters. "It's from Billy." His muzzy eyes stared at me blankly. "Open it!"

With the speed of a snail, Joe tore the envelope open and pulled out the small, handwritten letter. Joe's eyes scanned across it before he chucked it down on the bed nonchalantly. I grabbed it.

I've sent you and Bodie a

visiting order for next week.

We need to talk.

Billy.

I re-read the letter dozens of times. It was so simple, so to the point. So Billy.

He had sent both his baby brother and his best friend a visiting order, but didn't even ask about me. Billy Darley really did want me out of his life.

Well I wouldn't disappear until I heard those words pass through his lips; I still had hope.

Was it me? Or were all of my cigarettes burning down too quickly? It seemed the moment I lit one, it was almost gone. The beautiful nicotine coming to an end. Not like when I first started smoking at the age of fourteen. I only did it to look cool, and one cigarette that burned my throat and made my head dizzy seemed to go on for hours. Oh, those were the days.

I stubbed out my cigarette, which I had smoked right down to the cork, when Joe walked out of his room looking worried.

"What's wrong Joey?" I asked, concern filling my voice. He may want us to ignore each other forever, but I couldn't stop caring. I didn't have an on/off button like the Darley's seemed to possess.

He looked at me, his eyes narrowed with anger, and he threw a letter at me before slowly walking off and grabbing his jacket. His ribs were still a bit messed up. I looked over the letter, and saw it was a letter from the hospital, charging him almost eight hundred dollars for that night he was there.

"Joe, where are you going?" I asked as he went to open the door.

His voice was vicious. "Well, let's see, Trish. I'm going to have to go and fuckin' jack some fuckin' old ladies now to get some cash to pay for that fuckin' bill. I was fuckin' fine! Ya should of just left me the fuck alone, then everything would be fuckin' fine. Billy would still be here, and I wouldn't have to go and try and find nearly a grand." He turned back towards the door.

"No, Joe, please wait. I have money. I can pay it for you. Let me make it up to you." Joe looked at me with raised eyebrows. Then slammed the door shut and walked back over to the couch. Now all I had to do was find eight hundred dollars.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Are you sure you really want to do this?" Craig asked as I tried to liven up my limp hair.

"Yes, I need money and quick." I took a step back and looked at myself in the mirror; I looked more alive than I had in weeks. "And remember, if Rachel asks, me and you went to the movies tonight, okay? I don't want any of the guys to find out about this."

Craig looked bored. "Yeah, I know. And remember, never mention to the customer or the boss that you have a boyfriend - let alone a crazed psychotic one behind bars." I slapped him lightly on the arm.

"C'mon, let's get this over with."

The light glow from the flittering candle cast shadows across the aging man's face. His long, straight nose loomed over the lobster on his plate whilst his eyes stayed focused on his client, who timidly ate his steak.

I moved my salad around on my plate; I didn't really have an appetite, but I felt thoroughly relieved that the night had gone smoothly. Grayson, the elderly business man who had hired me for the night had been pleasant enough. He'd picked me up at the agency, complimented my appearance, and had been extremely talkative until his client had arrived. I had sat silently then, smiling at the appropriate moments as they discussed business.

"Well I'll have the contracts sent to you, and we shall rendezvous in the near future," Grayson said stiffly, standing up and shaking hands with Benjamin, his young client. I stood up after Grayson and waited for them to finish speaking.

"Yes, I look forward to it. I'll have my lawyers look over the contract as soon as it comes through. Actually," the young brunette man paused. "I'm having a barbecue in three days time - some friends, business acquaintances… Should be a good time. No business, just pleasure. Bring Trish along too; make it a family outing."

The elderly, childless Grayson had introduced me as his granddaughter who had come to stay with him. I think he'd hoped to get an invite to this barbecue because Benjamin was attracted to his 'granddaughter.'

"Trish, it was an incredible pleasure to meet you, and I sincerely hope that you come along to my small barbecue this week." He grasped my hand and kissed it gently.

I think Grayson got his wish.

A very businesslike handshake, a polite thank you, and I had just over one hundred bucks sitting in my bank. And for only two hours of work. It didn't even seem like work - having a delicious meal in a very fine restaurant that probably cost a bomb. I thought I had the easiest job in the world. I was going to pay Joe's hospital bill off in no time and maybe even my student debts whilst being able to live relatively comfortably if I could get a few clients a week.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Two months later.

The cold metal cooled my burning hot skin, its numbing panels soothing my sore and aching back. My head lolled against the elevator wall; my eyes closed.

The elevator moved groggily from floor to floor until the doors opened up with a loud wail. I shuffled forward, my lank hair falling on my face as my head rolled forward in exhaustion. My high stilettos rubbed cruelly against the dozens of blisters spaced across my feet, and my nostrils burned feverishly from five days of bingeing that had materialized.

I banged my apartment's front door, not wincing when pain shot through my cracked knuckle.

No answer.

I knocked again, swallowing hard, though my parched raw throat ached in protest. Why weren't they answering? Where were my keys? I didn't have a clue.

"Trish." I didn't register whose voice it was.

I walked in, slightly limping from the rawness of my feet and breathing deeply in the smoky apartment. I grabbed something sturdy from beside me - I think it was a counter - and leaned there, swaying slightly until a large pair of hands reached my shoulders, gently guided me towards the bedroom, and sat me on the bed.

"What happened?" A worried voice came from somewhere near me. I was not looking into the faces of the people in the room; my eyes were to the floor. "Where've you been for the past five days, Trish? Are ya hurt? Did somebody hurt ya?" Joe was leaning down, so he was my height now, and he stared at me with wide, concerned eyes.

Silence filled the room. "Who the fuck did this, Trish? You got to tell us who it was." An angry voice came from beside me – Bodie, I think. "We'll go and take care of it right away."

"Too fucking right we will." Another voice from the corner of the room came loudly, I couldn't focus on who it was.

My eyes were heavy, and I just wanted to let them fall and curl myself up.

Joe's hands found my face, and he gently forced me to look into his brown eyes. "Listen to me, Trish, honey. Ya gotta tell me who did this. Who gave ya those bruises on arms, and what happened to your feet? And your - your lip, who hit ya?" Joe looked so worried, so grown up. "C'mon, Trish. Talk to us. Where have ya been? We've been goin' out of our minds. Billy's -" My eyes became wider. "He's been crazy worried."

My whole body ached; I needed to sleep.

"I just need to sleep," I said croakily, not recognizing my own voice.

Joe sighed, his tight lips pursed, before nodding and helping me get into my bed. I was vaguely aware of someone removing my shoes to fully reveal my throbbing feet.

"Call ya sister; get her over here. Rachel will be able to get her to speak when she wakes up. Tell the rest of the guys to get out to work." Bodie's gruff voice was the last thing I heard.

"Hey, sleepyhead," the soothing voice of Rachel came from beside me. I blinked my eyes several times, trying to clear them until I saw her plainly sitting on the edge of my bed, her long dirty blonde hair tied up in a careless bun. "How ya feeling?"

"Fine," I murmured, my voice one big croak. Instantly Rachel handed me a glass of water, and I accepted it gratefully.

I slurped on the cold water for a few moments before Craig entered the bedroom, looking completely miserable.

"I thought I heard you both." There was none of the optimism or excitement that usually flowed through his voice. "Trish, I'm so sorry. I should of never of let you join the agency. How are you feeling? Do you know who hurt you?"

I blinked my eyes several more times. I didn't want Craig to feel guilty; I'd brought everything on myself.

Oh God. Craig had clearly told Rachel I had joined his escort agency when I hadn't returned home a few days prior, which meant that if Rachel knew, all the guys knew and so did Billy. Maybe he wouldn't care; he didn't seem to care about me anymore. The most I'd had from Billy in the last three months was a short conversation on the phone. But Joe had said Billy had been really worried about me when I hadn't come home; they probably said that to get me to talk.

"Nobody hurt me," I said, staring at him deep into his green eyes. My voice was quiet and timid.

He looked at me like he didn't believe me. None of them did. Why did they assume I'd been seriously hurt by someone else? I wasn't hurt; I was lucky. I'd had luck I didn't deserve.

"Well, then what happened?" Rachel persisted, her eyes wide with wonder. Silence filled the room; Rachel looked defeated. "Billy's sent out a visiting order for ya; it should be here by tomorrow." My eyes lit up.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The chattering of many women and some small children filled the large, rather cold room. Only two men sat in the room. One middle-aged man sat patiently - possibly coming to see his son. The other was a young guy with cropped black hair and a ring in his nose. He sat casually with his arms stretched behind his head and his feet up on the small table between two chairs sitting opposite each other.

One of the beefy guards came and told him to remove his feet.

I had tried to make myself look half decent for Billy, tried desperately to cover the bruise-like shadows beneath my brown eyes. I'd covered my thick lips with a dark shade of purple lipstick (it looked awful), though you could just still see the scab covering my cut lip.

Wearing a long-sleeved, blue V-neck top, I managed to hide the multiple bruises on my arms. My hair was in sleek waves, and I hoped I could fool Billy into thinking I was fine and dandy. I knew I wouldn't succeed.

Nerves shot right through me when I heard a loud ringing bell; everyone's head snapped towards the one lone door on the right hand side of the room. A stern faced prison officer stood beside it.

My breathing quickened as I saw man after man walk casually through the door. I didn't notice their faces; I was only looking for one.

Ergh! Why couldn't I see him?

Smiling faces appeared all around the room as families, couples, and friends were reunited. The hall grew louder with greetings, and most of the room was on their feet hugging their beloved or waiting for them to appear. Just like I was.

I stood with the rest, my eyes narrowed on the door. God, I wished I'd worn my glasses - stupid crappy eyesight! My eyes continued to strain until I saw him.

Striding out of the door in a pair of maroon trousers and a stained white vest, Billy approached me. His shoulders moved heavily as he came towards me; he was unshaven, even more so than usual, and had a deep slash across his nose - it looked like an old wound.

My wide eager smile faltered at seeing his injury, and I charged into his chest when he was near enough, wrapping my arms around him and holding him close to me so tightly I was probably hurting his ribs. It felt so good to hug him again. Surprisingly, he held me too, just as tightly as I held him.

Billy and I stayed like that for several minutes. He ran his hands through my dull hair and kept me tight against his chest. He didn't seem to care who saw us.

A tear streaked my face, forcing me to pull away so I could wipe it.

I smiled widely as he looked down at me with his frosty eyes. We sat down opposite each, our hands laced.

"What happened to your face?" I demanded to know. His hands untangled from mine, and he sat back before pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. "Tell me!" I urged as he sucked on his smoke.

His head tilted to the side slightly; he was considering whether to tell me the truth or not. "This punk thought he'd make himself a big shot by cutting me." My mouth was ajar, and I gasped in shock. "Don't worry; I took care of it. He ain't gonna be walking for awhile." His jaw clenched; he had said too much. "I shouldn't of told ya -"

I leaned forward and placed my small hand on his unshaven cheek. "You do what you got to do while you're here. I love you." It flowed out so naturally, but didn't bother me in the slightest. I'd spent so long trying to hide it from him; it felt good to get it out.

His eyes widened, and he sniffed and wiped under his nose with hand. An old habit.

"Ya do?" he asked gruffly, the intensity of his eyes fully unleashed upon me.

"Yeah, I do."

He nodded slightly to himself before licking his bottom lip. "I guess I love ya too," he replied before sniffing and wiping under his nose again.

My grin was wide, and I launched myself at him, my arms wrapping tightly around his neck.

"So are ya gonna tell me what's been goin' on with ya?" he finally said. I knew he was going to bring it up.

I let out a loud sigh. "Nothing's been going on-"

"Oh, yeah? What about you fuckin' selling yourself?" Oh, how the conversation had changed.

Nice. Craig had told them what I was doing, but hadn't managed to point out I wasn't fucking anyone. Neither did I plan to. God, did they all think I was a hooker? Did Billy really believe I was a hooker? He couldn't; he knew me too well. I gave Billy a stern look. _Fuck you!_ That's all I wanted to say, but I didn't want to cause a row. If I did, maybe Billy wouldn't let me see him again.

"I have not been selling myself! I've been making some extra cash by going on business dates with lonely old men. It's good money, and the most loving gesture I have had off a customer," I began, "is a kiss on the cheek. I would never fuck somebody for money. I thought ya knew me better than that."

His jaw was clenched, but he spoke surprisingly lowly and calmly. "Good money, huh?" I nodded, though I knew he didn't want an answer. "I've heard ya been picking up bad habits with that good money." I desperately tried to keep my composure. "I can see it on ya face. Ya shifty eyes; your sore cut nose. I fuckin' know Trish."

"I don't know what you're talking about." My eyes couldn't meet his, and I found myself looking around the room at the different people, all in avid conversation. He stubbed out his cigarette in the ashtray on the small coffee table between us.

"Heco told me."

Oh shit. Busted. That scummy smack head piece of shit. I had paid him double not to say anything.

"He says that you came to his apartment begging for some sniff, and then tried to say that it was a one time thing."

I shrugged my shoulders. What was there to say? He knew the truth. I decided to keep my eyes on the rough grey carpet and wait. When I didn't say anything, Billy sucked in a sharp breath, and I think I saw him run a hand over his shaven head.

"So what happened? The other night when you went missing and came home all fucked up?" His voice was steady and coarse.

My eyes slowly looked up at him, but quickly looked back down once I saw the look on his face. His fierce eyes were antagonistic, and anger and rage showed through the clear, serious, deathly stare he gave me. His jaw was clenched, and I noticed as I looked back at the floor that his hands were balled up into tight, white-knuckled fists. Billy was trying to ease his anger, though it came off his body in furious ripples.

"Answer me, Trish." I didn't know what to say. "Answer me!" he said irately before grabbing my chin with his hand and yanking it up roughly, so I was looking at him with large shocked eyes.

"Hey, Darley," one of the prison officers yelled, storming through the room. Billy took a few seconds, but finally let go of me. The guard came up to us, and we both looked up at him. "You okay, miss?" I nodded, giving him my best smile; the cut on my lip hurt when I smiled that widely. "Last warning, Darley. You don't wanna end up down in the infirmary, do ya?" Billy's head was tilted to the side as he glared at the guard with murderous eyes.

Once the guard walked away, Billy turned back towards me, angrier than before. I didn't dare look to the floor. "Ya better fuckin' tell me." I wasn't going to disobey his command.

I picked at my fingernails as I spoke. "I had a job with a couple of other girls to go to a party on the good side of town. It turned out some of the guy's friends were in town for the week, so he offered to pay us for the week. And everything was fine at first. We weren't made to do anything we didn't want to do. The girls and I were given our own room and everything. We were there for a bit of female company and conversation; that's all. The guys were giving us free drugs," I said, ashamed of myself. "I never did too much, not wanting to get out of control. But then on the fifth night, everything got out of hand. The guys were wanting more, and some of the girls were giving it to them. I wouldn't, and that's when one of the guys turned nasty," I said quietly.

"And?" Billy managed to get out, his neck turning red.

"The guy smacked me around a bit." That was a bit of a understatement. "Smashed my phone up, and then I kicked him in the balls, ran out, and walked home." All those miles had fucked my feet up.

"Give me a name!" Billy demanded.

"I don't know. He's probably left town. Billy, babe." I placed my hand on his face again. "I've quit that job now; it won't happen again. I'm sorry."

A loud bell went off. "Time!" one of the prison guards shouted. People all around the room stood, so did I.

Billy stood too.

"Ya better not be lying to me? Ya won't fuckin' like the consequences of ya lying to me."

I leaned in and gave him a tight hug, sucking in his scent. He kissed me gently, holding the back of my neck before resting his forehead against mine.

"I love you," I said quietly, looking into his piercing eyes.

"I love ya too." I gave him another quick kiss before beginning to walk away. "Shit, it's weird saying that," he muttered.

I continued walking until he called my name. "Trish?" I turned to look at my rugged boyfriend. "If you need any of that shit..." He was looking me deeply in the eyes. "Just see Heco, yeah? I'll give him a heads up."

I wanted to tell him that I didn't want any of that shit, but found myself nodding back at him before leaving.


	18. Coming clean

**Hello ****J****, Sorry this chapter took so long.**

**It has not been beta'd so there may be a few mistakes I misses, sorry.**

**Thanks to everyone that reviewed the last chapter, it means the world to me.**

"This is stupid Rach," my head was rested lazily in my hands as I leaned against the bar. Rachel strutted back and forth up and down behind the wooden dirty bar doing everything she could to try not to notice me. "I don't know what I've done. For the last two weeks you've become really distant and now you're not speaking to me at all? I can't apologize for what I've done because I have no idea." I continued to stare at her back, her long hair falling heavily down it - it was almost to the bottom of her back now.

The bar was quiet; just Rachel and I were at the bar and Heco, Dogg and Spink sat down at the gang's usual table- I could smell the weed from the spliff they passed around the table, as casual as if it was a plain tobacco filled cigarette.

Rachel let out a deep sigh before turning to me and pursing her lips, I thought she was going to break her dreadful silence. She looked at me, then walked away again before pulling out her phone and began skimming through it.

"Fine," I snapped, standing up quickly. "If you feel like talking, I'll be over with the guys." I sauntered over to the guys, feeling Rachel's eyes on my back and smiled widely as a chorus of hey's greeted me at the table.

I sat on a chair at the end, my back to Rachel.

An old rock song played quietly in the background, but was loud enough for me to hum along to.

Heco handed me the spliff like it was the most natural thing in the world. I knew I'd hung out with him too much; I didn't even like the guy, but he had the stuff that I wanted. I toked the joint and smiled as the smoke exited my mouth, leaving the familiar taste inside. I didn't think much of it, I had been smoking the ghanja for several months now; I had just been doing it more and more recently. I had limited myself though- i'd become to really enjoy the effects of cocaine, but I didn't want to become an addict. That wasn't me. I'd limited it to using it just once a week, that way I was able to enjoy its effects, forgetting how much I had betrayed Billy, and hopefully not get addicted to it. Craig said that doing it just once a week would end with me becoming an addict. I disagreed; anyway, it was a risk I was willing to take for the great kick it gave me.

I passed the spliff around watching Dogg and Spink take their hits before stubbing it out in the ashtray in the middle of the table. "Hey Rachel, can I get four beer's and four shots over here," Heco yelled, his arms stretching behind his shiny espanic head.

Rachel sauntered over, slamming the drinks down on the table, my beer slightly frothed over due to the force of it.

"Touché," Spink said smirking.

My eyebrows furrowed and I turned angrily to Spink, "Don't talk to her like that. She doesn't come to work for your crap!"

Spink shut his mouth and turned away, not wanting to argue with me since I seemed to be back on Billy's good side.

"Yeah and I don't come to work to hear your crap either," Rachel snapped back before storming off. I stared after her in shock; I'd been sticking up for her. I grabbed my shot and downed it before standing up quickly and following Rachel over to the bar.

She didn't look pissed off like I'd expected her to be from the tone of her voice, she looked upset. Her lower lip was slightly jutted out and her eyes watery.

"Hey I was sticking up for you." I grabbed her arm lightly. "Are you okay?" I asked after seeing how upset she looked.

She sucked in a sharp breath. "How old am I, Trish?"

"What's that got to do with anything?"

"How old am I?" she demanded staring at me straight into the eye.

"Twenty-one, why?"

She pursed her lips before speaking, her eyes still teary. "And do you know how many friends i've lost to drugs in those years?" I stayed silent. "Five! Five! And their just the ones that over dosed. I've lived in Southie my whole life, five of my friends died from an over dose, lots of people I know have died for not paying drug dealer's money, and I know one or two who killed themselves because of the withdrawals. I am lucky, I managed to not get involved directly in all that shit, and when I met you I thought I'd finally found a friend who was too intelligent and sensible to get themselves into that mess. But I guess I was wrong." She spat. "I don't want to be around when you fuck your life up for good." Then she walked away, and I was left standing there, baffled.

"I won't end up like that. I know what im doing," I yelled after her, angry before storming out of the bar.

Within twenty seconds Heco was outside with me saying that Billy would kill him if he knew he'd let me walk home on my own.

"Hey do you have any sniff? I asked as we stopped outside my apartment building.

"I'll drop some round later, yeah?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The smoky bar was filled with people drinking and several slutty girls danced sexily around grabbing a good chunk of the male's attention. The musty smell didn't bother me like it used to. I was used to it by now.

I stood by the pool table swaying slightly as I waited for my shot. Baggy took his time eyeing the ball that he was going to shoot, aiming perfectly, bringing the cue back slowly and thrusting it forward with extreme power.

"Argh!" I yelled distracting him; his hand slipped slightly causing him to pot one of my balls.

I smiled triumphantly as Baggy swore loudly.

Sammy walked into the bar and straight out the back.

"I'll give you this game, but only because I've got to speak to Sammy," I smiled sweetly as him before walking off to find Sammy.

I found him in the back room on the phone to someone. He didn't acknowledge my presence, so I stood there awkwardly waiting, swaying slightly from all the booze and weed.

Whilst I was waiting I pulled out a cigarette and lit it. Oh God, how long was he going to be? I had things to do; people to see. Well not really, but I could pretend.

Sammy put the phone down and finally focused his attention on me; he looked tired, irritated, and slightly stoned.

"Hey, could you let me know what shifts im working this week please?"

"You're not working this week," he replied gruffly, his fingers moving around nervously. He spoke like he didn't really want to, the words were forced. "Or the week after that or the week after that." What? Now I was confused. What the hell did he mean I weren't working? I needed those shifts; I needed the bloody money.

I was still swaying like a fourteen year old pretending to be sober. "I don't understand," I slurred my eyes zoning in on Sammy and trying desperately to keep them locked on him.

"Trish, you haven't turned up to three of your shifts in the past two weeks," my mouth opened slightly, ready to protest. "I need someone reliable." He was so business minded. Who would of know that just five years later, a divorce and a kid that hated him under his belt, he would be a heroin addict himself.

"I was sick-"

"You were high;" he interrupted me. "Sorry."

I sucked in a sharp breath before turning around and storming from the building. I seemed to be doing that alot lately.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The TV glow of the newsreader was doing my head in. It was only ever negative stuff they bothered to show on the news. Murders, rapes, gang wars- the occasional robbery. There's never anything about how more and more kid's are graduating from school with higher grades, no it was more and more kids are graduating from school because the tests had become too easy.

I flipped the TV off in irritation, and laid my head back on the couch. God, I needed a job badly- it had been weeks and I couldn't find anything. The only jobs that I seemed to stumble across were 'exotic dancers'; Billy would sure love that.

Sighing I sat forward, my head completely blank on what to do. I was visiting Billy in two days time- I was excited for that. But apart from that I had nothing to do, and not a lot of money to last me. Of course, Bodie made sure that me and Joe ate, but thing's weren't that bad anyway, I was just running out of money in my bank for certain luxuries.

My hand reached for my bag and within seconds a small mirror and tiny baggy filled with white powder sat on my lap, and slowly without thinking twice about it I poured the whole baggy onto the small mirror and carefully made one line. One stinking line, that's all I could afford this week. Times were indeed hard.

Smiling I leaned down ready to suck in the intoxicating powder. Too think that just a few months ago I was devastated to think that Billy was using. Now, it didn't bother me at all, as long as it was all done in proportion.

_Knock Knock Knock_

Who was that? I stared up at the door anxiously, slowly, and very carefully slipping the mirror under the couch before standing up and straightening my T-shirt out. I walked towards the door, fumbling with the hem of my shirt.

"Who is it?" I asked nervously, totally aware that I had an illicit substance in the room with me.

A small voice replied, a small voice I knew all too well. "It's me, silly." Michelle, my amazing best friend was just outside my crappy apartment.

I yanked all the locks off the door of my apartment, and pulled the door open, revealing my small dainty friend Michelle.

Her hair was bubble gum pink, and she chewed gum with the broadest smile on her face. Her olive skin glowed and her hazel eyes were alight with excitement.

We hugged instantly, blonde hair mixing with pink- pale pasty skin touching tanned healthy skin.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming home?" I demanded to know looking straight at her and relishing in the sight. It had been so long.

"I wanted to surprise you! Alex gave me your new address." She looked past my shoulder into my scruffy apartment. "Can I come in?" Right, we were still on the door.

She followed me into the apartment, massive smiles on both of our faces. I could not believe she was there, with me, after so much time. It felt great seeing her, and I completely forgot about my worries and the coke whilst being in her glowing presence.

We sat for hour's talking- it turned out that Pier had been a cheating scumbag, and had been doing the dirty behind Chelle's back with numerous models he had photographed. Michelle wasn't down about it- after all she had seen a good chunk of the world because of him, she was just a little bit upset that she didn't manage to finish college. But like the ever up-beat Michelle she planned to go back once she returned to New York. I was saddened by that- yes it was truly selfish of me, and I always wanted what was best for her, and best for her was in New York, but I was a little bit beat up that she was going back to New York. I was hoping and only a little but, that she was back in Chicago for good, and we could spend our days hanging out like the old days. After all, not many people wanted to hang out with me for me anymore.

Michelle was interested in meeting Billy, and without even realizing it I was lying about how he was out with friends. I hadn't even realized or planned on saying it but it just slipped out.

I sipped on my coffee and smiled as Chelle told a story about a drunk guy at the airport when Joe walked in with Bodie. They were talking enthusiastically but stopped dead in their tracks seeing the bright haired girl sitting coyly on the sofa.

Anxiously I jumped off the sofa smiling like a crazy person.

"Who's ya friend?" Bodie asked, eyeing Michelle with lustful eyes. I glared at him. "I'm B-"

"This is Billy, chelle, my Billy." I said nervously, before eyeing Bodie seriously, and linking my arm with his.

Bodie looked at me with scrunched up eyebrows, and Joe just looked seriously confused. I was digging myself into a deeper hole every second

Her eyebrows rose for just a split second before she smiled and stood up. I knew what she was thinking: Bodie was definitely not my usual type, but then again, neither was Billy. "It's so nice to finally meet you," she said politely sticking her hand out to shake. Bodie grasped her small delicate painters hand and brought it to his lips, brushing one, two, three gentle kisses across it. Michelle looked from side to side anxiously before gently pulling her hand out of Bodie's grip. I knew she felt weird by my so called boyfriend kissing her hand so intimately.

I kept a large fake smile on my face, not wanting to show Michelle how badly I cringed as Bodie slobbered over her.

Michelle's eyes turned to Joe and I knew she was waiting for me to introduce her to him. "I'm Billy's brother," Joe said nonchalantly, ignoring Michelle's hand that was stuck out and flopping on the couch where I had previously sat.

Her mouth opened slightly and her head tilted to the side; I knew she was thinking that they looked fuck all alike. I could have killed Joe. "It's nice to meet you," she paused, looking at him with pursed lips.

"Joe." I interrupted. She nodded with a small smile.

"Well I don't know about anyone else, but I am ready to get fucked the hell up tonight- ya with me Bodie?" I was going to kill him- I was seriously going to rip his head off his shoulders.

Michelle's head tilted slightly towards the left and she looked at me with her hazel eyes, pondering.

Joe looked panicked- his mouth was kind of in the shape of an O as he realized what he had done.

"Bodie's what my boys call me." Bodie covered, I can safely say I've never wanting to kiss Bodie so much in my entire life.

Michelle sat back down silently and I walked towards the kitchen hoping there were some soda's left- and some valium I was so edgy.

Bodie followed me and gripped my arm. "Can I talk to ya?"

"Just go with it." I stared into his almost black eyes. "Please." He let out an audible sigh and released me before going towards the couch and making small talk with Chelle.

The next hour was so unnerving I thought I was going to vomit. Michelle spoke quietly to both Joe and Bodie- until they stopped making conversation with her and I was left rambling on about crap. She eyed me suspiciously as I rambled, and watched as I tugged on the hem of my shirt nervously.

"Yeah, well were going to take off," Bodie said as he stood up after a grueling ten minute silence. Joe followed suit and got up quickly and left without saying a word.

Awkwardly I stood up and kissed Bodie on the cheek lightly as he left.

The door slammed and Michelle's head snapped towards me. "He is not your boyfriend is he?"

"Of course he is," I tried to sound casual. "Why would you..."

Michelle interrupted me, not something that she did very often. "I remember talking to you on the phone a few months back and you were telling me about Billy. I remember you saying how he had gorgeous blue eyes!" Shit! "Now, unless my eyes are deceiving me; that guy, Bodie, had dark brown eyes. What the hell is going on Tee?"

I slumped down into the chair and my hands covered my face. "My Billy, he's in jail. I didn't tell you because I was embarrassed- it's my fault he's inside."

Before I realized it I was crying! Jesus, I seriously needed to grow a pair of balls. I told Michelle the whole story of how Billy had assaulted the police officer, and before I knew it I was telling her about everything that had been happening from my escort job to the drugs. It all came spilling out without a second thought. Michelle stayed silent as I spoke; she just sat there with a concerned expression across her face.

"Do you have any drugs here now?" Was the first thing she said to me. I nodded. "Where?" I pointed to under the couch an before I knew it Michelle had grabbed the coke and was flushing it as I still sat there, tears streaming my face. Chelle returned moments later and began hugging me. "None of this is your fault. Hey, listen why don't you come to New York for awhile. We'll stay with Alex- just so you can get back on your feet and put all this behind you."

I looked up at her, mildly horrified, did she want me to move away? Had she not heard me say several times through my story how I was so stupidly in love with Billy I didn't care what was happening to me.

"Billy's out soon. I need to wait for him."

Her eyebrows scrunched up for a moment, before she relaxed her anxious face. "I'm not saying for you to come for long. Just for awhile until he gets out. Just so that you're not around all that shit, you did say you wouldn't want it once he was back. Come on, it will do you good." I know now that Chelle's plan was to get me to New York and then Alex and her would try and convince me Billy was no good, and that I was better off without him.

"Okay." I replied, she gave me a small smile and pushed some of her bright hair out of her face. "But only until Billy get's out."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Two days later Michelle and I were in the Four Roses waiting for Rachel to come in to start her shift so I could say goodbye. Alex had booked two plane tickets to New York, so we just had time to say Goodbye to Rachel and have a drink or two there before we left.

We sat there quietly whilst we waited for her. Where was she? She was meant to start her shift over half an hour ago. Something must have happened. I tapped my fingers nervously on the sticky bar. What if something had happened to her whilst she walked to work or if Baggy had pissed someone off and they tried to get to him via Rachel.

I had already phoned her half a dozen times, but her cell was switched off. I decided to give Craig a buzz to see if he knew where she was.

"Hey Craig, it's me. Do you know where Rachel is?" I asked getting straight to the point when he answered his phone after five or six rings.

"No she's working isn't she?"

"Well she hasn't shown yet, so I was just cheking in. Are you good, I haven't seen you in awhile?"

There was silence for a moment. "I'm fine," he breathed down the line.

"I'm going awa-"

"Listen I got to go, I'll speak to you later." And he hung up.

His coldness stung me, and it made me realize that I had to go to New York- without Billy here, I was going too far off the rails and it was beginning to affect the relationships I had with people.

But before I had time to say anything Rachel rushed in; I could hear all the guys laughing and joking as they followed in behind her but I didn't care about them. I quickly stood up and followed Rachel till I was standing in front of her, my back to the guys. "Hey Rach, I know your mad at me but I just wanted to say-"

Big tattooed arms snaked around my waist; I froze. Was I hallucinating? Billy wasn't due out for another month, was I missing him that bad that I was imagining his presence.

Rachel looked down and walked away.

I turned quickly to see Billy standing there looking down at me with his cocky smirk. There was so much I wanted to say but I was so shocked at seeing him there exactly the same as when he was last in the four roses. Apart from the new scar he had received across his nose.

"How are you here?" I asked my arms around his neck after grabbing him and hugging him tightly for what was several minutes.

"Bodie managed to pull a few strings and got me an early release, thought I'd surprise ya." He said before looking down at the big duffle back by the side of the bar. "Going somewhere?" He asked with scrunched up eyebrows.

"Definitely not!" I said whilst smiling broadly, my eyes filling up. He grabbed the back of my neck and began kissing me passionately. I was so happy it was unbelievable. It couldn't be real, I must have been imagining it, I kept thinking.

Billy grabbed my ass and pulled me tight against him before breaking away from the kiss and grabbing my hand before leading me down the dark corridor that led to the pay phone. I followed instantly rushing to keep up with his long strides. As soon as we were around the corner Billy had me up against the wall his lips attacking my neck and chest whilst his hands roamed over my body longingly. His hands slowly moved down towards my bare thighs as I dug my nails into his back through his dark shirt.

The scene was so much like the one at charismas time, except this time I had no intention of stopping him doing whatever he wanted to. I didn't care that we were in a corridor of a bar; all I cared was that I was with my Billy again.

Before I knew it his jeans were undone and he was hiking my skirt up with a crazed lustful passion look across his face and then he picked me up so that I was against the wall, with my legs wrapped against his waist moaning quietly into his ear.

It wasn't loving and tender. It was quick, rough and dirty, not what I had imagined Billy and I's first time together when he'd be released. But hey, you can't blame the guy he had been locked up for five months.

I smiled up at him timidly as he re-did his jeans whilst he looked down and me with piercing eyes that made me want to jump him but I knew I couldn't- Michelle was still in the bar!

A few months ago I would of never of disappeared with Billy with Chelle there, even if Billy had been gone for a year. But I had changed, there was no denying that. For the better or worse, at the time I didn't know because I was so wrapped up In Billy and his world, I didn't even see the big changes in me that were affecting everything in my life. Like my inability to read more than two pages at a time of a book- my mind was constantly on other things since I had been with Billy. The fact that I had stopped taking Alex's calls around the guys, fearing Billy would think something was going on again. I would of never ever of done that before.

Once Billy's trousers were back in place I grabbed his calloused hand and led him down the dark corridor with a massive grin on my face. The bar was picking up, and most of the guys had a beer in their hands and empty shot glasses in front of them- celebrating.

I looked around for Michelle and sauntered over to her feeling the best I had in months.

Michelle was looking down at the bar sipping her drink, and Baggy sat next to her looking down at her playfully with a glint in his eye.

"I hope you're not bothering my best friend there Baggy?" Baggy looked up and flashed me a crooked grin. "Chelle, this Billy. Billy this is Michelle." Billy nodded to her and she eyes him slightly narrowed eyes. "Isn't it great he got an early release?" I all but squirmed.

She nodded slightly before smiling and looking me directly into the eye. "Were gonna have to take off soon if were gonna make our flight," she said lowly. Did she still think I was going to go; I couldn't go. I wouldn't go!

My mouth was slightly ajar as I tried to think of how to word it. I had assumed she would have known that I weren't going to go now.

"She ain't going anywhere," Billy gruffly said, keeping his strong arm around my waist.

"Michelle I thought you'd realize; now that Billy's out-"

She was angry I could see that from the color that instantly flamed in her cheeks. "Trish, seriously. Think about this." she said lowly, but Billy could hear what she said clear enough.

Baggy just looked plain awkward and moved down the bar to talk to Rachel.

"Your ruining your life!" she added; my eyes were wide I didn't know what to say. The only thing I knew was that I needed to be with Billy.

"Trish ain't ruining shit. She's happy here, she gonna' stay here." Billy snapped an angry glint in his eye.

Michelle turned to look up at him and instead of the usual timidness that adorned her face it was full outrage; I had never seen her look that mad before.

"Would you even let her go if she wanted to?" She demanded to know, Billy didn't answer her question, which was an answer in itself. "I didn't think so. She is so much better than you why are you making her stay in this shit life?!" she was pointing angrily at him now.

"Billy is not making me! I'm happy here Michelle." I interrupted, seeing Billy click his neck.

"Oh really are you? Is that why you've turned into a coke addict-" she snapped, she was fuming I had never seen her angry; never heard her raise her voice.

"I am not an addict," I shouted back stepping forward and squaring my shoulders as if I was trying to intimidate her. My fists clenched tightly and I even thought of hitting her. My best friend! I had never hit someone before in my life, well not a square hard punch in the face anyway- and that is what I wanted to do to her. Hit her square in the mouth with my fist, to shut her up about all the things she was saying about Billy and me being an addict. Huh, defensive much?

Michelle looked up to Billy now, whose jaw was clenched and a vain was popping profusely out of his neck. His eyes were crazy.

"You want to stay here with a scumbag who pointed a gun at Alex?" I flinched back at the thought.

I sucked in a deep breath. "Please Michelle, your ruining Billy's first night out," I managed to get out through clenched teeth.

"Good!" She spat back. "Because he is ruining your life." Tears ran down her pretty face as she spoke, " This is it Trish, you either come with me now to New York or were done. I can't let you do this to yourself; I can't let him do it to you. Our friendship will be dead if you stay here with him. Choose him or me and Alex," she said firmly.

My eyes were full now too and within seconds a tear splashed down my cheek. "You can't make me choose-"

"I'm doing this for you." Michelle all but whispered back.

There was a deathly silence between the three of us. I could not answer; how was I supposed to choose. Whilst I stood there, my mouth a jaw, I grabbed Billy's hand, and he held it back. He would of never of held it back in public if it weren't for Michelle.

It seemed my unconscious actions had decided for me.

Michelle looked down and Billy and I's laced hands.

"Okay then I have a plane to catch." She shuffled forward quickly kissing me lightly on the cheek before hugging me tightly for maybe one or two seconds. She didn't even give me time to hold her back.

And then she was gone, walking through the door wiping away a stray tear.

I stood still for a moment before turning to Billy and smiling fakely up at him. "Can we go home?"

Billy grabbed my duffle bag and slung it over his shoulder before leading me outside.

"I would've gone." Rachel shouted from over the bar bitterly as I left.

Outside, Michelle was nowhere to be seen, except for the yellow cab going down the street. The cab that we had booked to take us both to the airport.

.


	19. It changes everything

**Hey Guys thanks for the reviews on the last chapter.**

**Again this hasn't been beta'd so there may be a few mistakes.**

**Reviews would be most appreciated. **

The music boomed and my head spun, I did not want to be here this evening. Voices that rang around me in loud bursts; everyone was in avid conversation and I was not in the mood to join them.

I was sure I had been suffering with the stomach flu for the last week or so. All I wanted to do was curl up on the sofa with my blanket and watch some old TV shows until I felt right again, but Billy had demanded that I be at the bar tonight.

For the past couple of days I had stayed at home alone whilst he went out; I had asked him to stay in with me a couple of time, he just looked at me stupid.

I didn't know why I had to be at the bar; my stomach churned and I felt like I was going to vomit again. I swallowed hard and chugged back the beer in front of me.

"Hey you don't look so good," a guy I didn't know with shoulder length brown dreadlocks commented. He sat opposite me and I think he had been watching me for awhile. It was nice for someone to notice, Heco and Dogg were to busy talking to some floozy's to ask me why I looked like I was about to chunk at any second.

The guy had a red bandana in his dreads and a sharp face; he had a tattoo on his neck of a guitar and wore a black leather jacket over an old Gun's n Roses tee with a red and white plaid shirt tied around his waist. "I don't feel so good either," I replied before finishing my beer.

The guy smirked. "I could make ya' feel a hell of a lot better."

I beg to differ. My eyebrows rose cynically. "Really and how would you achieve this?"

"Come to the bathroom with me and I'll show ya' just how good I can make ya' feel." Charming.

"I can promise you that I would fuck every single guy in here before I even willingly touched you," I spat at him.

I swear he snarled at me. "Who the fuck ya think ya are? Do ya know who ya messin' with?" Dogg and Heco were watching now. "I'm part of Darley's fuckin' crew and what are you? Some whore that hangs around us like a fuckin' fly around shit."

My mouth was slightly ajar, I was definitely shocked. Who the fuck was this guy to talk to me like that; he clearly didn't know that I was Billy Darley's missus.

Dogg and Heco seemed like they wanted to say something but also didn't want to get involved.

I grabbed a random beer from the table and threw it in the guys face soaking him, his dreads and that fucking gay bandana.

He stood up instantly his chair falling to the ground with a thud- he looked infuriated; he grabbed my hair and yanked me up.

Dogg and Heco stood up then about to intervene when Billy appeared behind him; he grabbed his dread locks and pulled his head so that he was bending almost backwards and his face was close to Billy's.

"What the fuck do ya think ya doin' to my woman Jay?" Billy snarled in the guy's ear; his eyes lit up with terror and I couldn't help smiling a little bit as the guys grip loosened entirely of my hair.

"Sorry man I didn't know. I thought she was a whore!"

Billy slammed Jay's head down on the table; he let out a loud wail as Billy brought his head back up near his.

"Are ya going to apologize or am I gonna' have to fuckin' make ya?!" Billy roared, the whole bar was watching.

"Sorry. Sorry!" Jay bellowed.

Vomit rose in my throat; not again! I rushed off to the bathroom to throw the contents of my stomach into the filthy toilets. Whatever Billy had wanted me out tonight for it was definitely not worth it; I had been puking every night for the last week or so- this was not a good idea! And then to have all that kick off; I'm guessing that didn't help my dodgy stomach one bit.

After ten minutes of standing in the bathroom leaning over the cracked sink I finally headed back into the bar.

Jay was gone, and Billy was sitting at the bar alone staring at a shot of whiskey.

"I gotta shoot off babe, my stomach is in bits." I declared trying not to get to close knowing that my breath was probably foul. "I know you wanted me here tonight but I can't I'm too sick."

"Ya probably due on your period, out to ruin my fun again," he said with a small smirk. He then handed me his car keys and kissed me on the forehead before walking back over to the guys.

I gave Rachel a small smile as I walked out of the bar only to hear her mutter, "let's hope you're not pregnant."

---

My hands shook as I put the pregnancy test down; how could I be so stupid. I counted mentally for the twentieth time when I had had my last period; fresh tears streaming down my face each time when I realized it had been nearly two months ago- just after Billy had got out of prison.

I had been so out of it these past few months I hadn't noticed; hadn't thought about it. FUCK FUCK FUCK.

One minute left to go. How could I be so stupid? Billy and I were safe I used birth control; but then weren't there a few nights I was so out of it I forgot to take the pill?

I flipped the test over and immediately fell to the floor crying. NO NO NO!

I needed to see a doctor. I needed to fix this.

----

I slept with my back to him that night; not wanting him to see the endless stream of silent tears that rushed down my face. I think he might have guessed something was up if he had taken time to notice my puffy blood shot eyes.

But he was wasted by the time he came home- too much liquor and drugs; he crashed down onto the bed without a second glance at me and I was terrifically relieved. He barely made a sound all night, a definite sign that he had overdone it. A definite sign that he would be in bed until late afternoon, which made it a lot easier for me to get up and ready without him even waking up. It was that much easier to leave without being questioned about where I was heading.

The car stunk of stale smoke- obviously, and an old rock song boomed through the speakers as soon as I started the ignition.

---

"Congratulations, you're going to be a mommy, I believe you to be around six week's pregnant," the doctor beamed- his round face lit up and red.

My head fell into my hands and my eyes began to stream again. It's not like it was news to me, but I had deep down hoped that the test had a fault and I hadn't pee'd right. But the doctor confirmed it - my worst nightmare! "I presume this pregnancy was not planned?"

I shook my head beneath the cover of my hand and brittle hair; I tried my best to hold the loud sob that was breaking its way free. I failed.

I looked up at him as he watched me patiently. "I can't do this. I am not mother material; I need to fix this."

He nodded understandingly but also slight disapproval covered his brow. He talked me through the motions of an abortion and how it was a very serious matter before he began to analyze whether or not I should be eligible for one. I had to have one. He asked questions about me, my job, where I lived, and my stance on parenthood. Everything.

"Does the father know?" The doctor asked softly. I shook my head again. _He would never know about this. _"Perhaps, it would be better to speak to him first and then together you could decide whether or not you want to keep the baby."

_The what? _"The baby," I muttered quietly; I had definitely not thought about a baby. I had thought about being a mother, Billy a father, Southie, about this thing inside me which would almost instantly ruin Billy's and I's relationship. But I had not thought about a baby. A little baby, perhaps a boy, maybe a girl. A new life that I had helped create. A life that would grow up and come to me when it would fall over in the mud, a life that cry on my shoulder the first time it got it's heart broken.

I couldn't get rid of it. Not when I thought of it as a baby. There was a beautiful baby growing inside of me, relaying on me to give it everything it needs to grow strong. A baby that might have my fair hair and Billy's brilliant eyes.

From the moment the doctor said the word baby, I knew I would do everything I could to nourish and protect the little life that was growing by the second within my stomach.

----

Beer spilled over the glass as Bodie slammed one down in front of me with a broad grin across his features, "drink, were celebrating." Bodie commanded after I looked at him vaguely as he put the beer down.

"What are we celebrating?" I asked curiously, continuing to sip the orange juice in front of me, ignoring the beer.

Bodie smiled his glowing smile. "My lil' sister has just graduated high school!"

I smiled at him and Bodie smiled his glowing smile at me. "My lil' sister has just graduated high school, at the top of her class!"

I smiled at him. I guess most middle class society graduating high school was the norm. But down in the slums of Boston, where gangs and drugs and booze parties were more standard than youth clubs, someone graduating at the top of their class was a definite achievement. Graduating at the top of your class was an achievement to all people.

"Oh that's great Bodie, is she coming tonight?" I asked with a wide smile, I had never spoken to his sister, but I had seen her. I had accidentally mistaken her for some floozy with Billy when I had seen them together; only to then be told after I had completely embarrassed myself and that Billy had been helping her out by going with Bodie to sort out a possessive ex.

His smile faltered for the tiniest second before he re-adjusted it. "Nah, my mom moved outa' town a couple of years ago, and wont let me in her house. Apparently, I'm a bad influence and a bad person. My sister and I keep in touch though, my mom doesn't know."

I nodded regretfully. I knew Bodie had done some bad things- the whole gang had. But I couldn't see him as a bad person; he was so sweet and clearly cared about those closest to him. He would kill for them, literally.

Billy sat across from me and he eyed me with a smirk, before nodding at the untouched beer in front of me. I knew what he was saying so reluctantly took a gulp if it, regretting it before the fluid had already touched my lips.

I knew that I wanted to keep the baby. That I would keep my baby. But I wasn't sure how I would tell Billy; part of me had thought about waiting until I was too far gone for me to have an abortion before telling Billy. But Billy would notice my growing belly; I knew I had to tell him soon and I would make him realize that all of this had to get left behind.

We were going to be parents; we needed to act like it. We'd have to move to a bigger apartment, maybe out of Southie, maybe out of the city completely; because we'd have to get away from Bones and everyone who knew Billy for the drug dealing gang banger that he was now if Billy was going to get a regular job, perhaps in a garage or something. Money would be tight obviously, but I knew my mother would help- I was willing to go crawling back to my mother and ask for help for this baby. Joe could come too- if he wanted. Maybe he could finish high school.

Of course we would keep in touch with Bodie and Rachel and the rest of the guys, but family comes first and we would obviously want to give this baby the best start to life as we possible could. Right?

Maybe if I could get Billy to talk about his childhood and then tell him he would realize sooner than later what we would need to for our child. Surely he wouldn't want his child to have the same life as him.

I sauntered over to the bar once Billy had got up to play pool, slyly I had pushed my beer into the middle of the table with dozens of others; he would think I had drunk mine.

After getting a diet coke I walked over to where Billy was standing and placed my drink down on the edge of the table. He would think I was drinking vodka.

I wrapped my arms around his back taking in his unique smell. God I loved him.

"Well isn't this sweet?" Bones' voice came from behind us. Instantly I let go of Billy. We both turned around to face Bones; Billy's face was an emotionless mask. "I ask ya to drop off my fuckin' money but instead I find ya here partying with your slut." Billy's fists balled up and his jaw tightened.

I stood with my head down, feeling the familiar sickness in my stomach.

"Ya don't like that do ya Billy boy?" Bones ridiculed. "Where's my money?"

"Im'a get it. Don't worry."

Bones seemed to contemplate this for a minute before wiping his greasy hands on his dirty shirt. "Well maybe ill take her home with me until you get it." He went out to grab me but Billy gripped my wrist and pulled me closer to him.

Everyone was watching now.

"Possessive," Bones commented. "Not willing to share Nazi? It's nothing I aint fuckin' had before anyway." Oh my God, what was he saying? Billy couldn't know about my disgusting little secret. He would kill me.

Billy's head turned to me for the briefest of seconds before turning back to Bones with his head tilted slightly to the side. Rage roared within his eyes and his grip on me had tightened to a painful extent.

"I'm guessing she didn't tell you about the little visit she made to me whilst you were inside- I guess you could say she had an itch and I definitely fuckin' scratched it."

"No, it wasn't like that Billy." Tears poured down my face as I turned to him. He looked down on me, a killer look in his eye.

"Ima kill you both," he all but hissed to me. I knew he would; he was going to kill me and my baby. Oh God my baby. I couldn't let him hurt the baby.

I yanked my arm away from Billy, and surprisingly his grip had loosened and before I knew it I had darted out of the bar and down the street dialing a familiar number.


	20. He's like a detuned radio

**Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed!**

**Please review again.**

**Most of this chapter I dreamt about five months ago and I've been so excited to write it. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did writing it**

**Only one more chapter to go I think.**

My hands shook as I gripped the mug of hot chocolate; it took all of my concentration to stop the hot contents from spilling over and scalding my small hands. My dry hair fell over my shoulder loosely as I looked down at the large white mug with blue stars drawn careless on it.

"So, are you going to tell me what's up? Why I had to pick you up from a backstreet alley and find you crying hysterically behind a dumpster?" Craig asked softly after he had sat beside me, he too nursing a mug of hot chocolate.

I placed my mug down; I couldn't concentrate on talking and holding it firmly at the same time.

Looking Craig deep into the eye made a stray tear trickle down my face. I was not a good friend, and here he was unknowingly putting himself at danger to help me. He must of known to some extent how much shit I was in; I wouldn't be hiding behind a dumpster if everything was hunky dory.

"I fucked up and now Billy is going to kill me." Craig green eyes lit with worry. "I'm sorry to drag you into this, but it's the only place I could go. None of the guys now about how close we were," it was horrible using the past tense, but as much as I wanted to I couldn't deny that we had drifted apart. Partly because of my drug taking, partly because Craig didn't want the guys to find out he had got me the escorting gig that resulted in me getting beaten; if Billy found that out being Baggy's cousin would not protect him. "I need to lay low until I figure out what to do."

Craig placed his mug down whilst taking a deep breath and rubbing his forehead. "Okay so you stay here. There's plenty of room," Craig lived in his parent's old house just out of the city. The house was isolated and you had to drive up a dirt track that took about five minutes to get to the old grey house. "But you have to tell me everything."

I looked around the small living room; the walls were a pale blue and the two small sofa's were a fading white, there was a small fire place next to the TV that sat in the corner and a small square coffee table in the middle. The room was undeniable cozy.

I took a deep breath. "When Billy was in remand I was crazy worried, you know that." He nodded lightly. "I didn't know what to do; I couldn't imagine my life without him so I went to Bones I thought 'he must have some strings he can pull you know it is his son'. But Bones wouldn't help unless I gave him something in return. I slept with him," Craig frowned at me; he couldn't believe it. "He promised he would get Billy off, but he did shit all to help him, and now tonight Bones told Billy what happened in front of the whole bar and made it look like I went to him because I was fucking horny."

Craig was actually speechless he didn't know what to say to that. What could he say; I had fucked my boyfriend's dad.

"It was that night that I did hard drugs for the first time; I just couldn't deal with what I had done."

He nodded in understanding, without saying anything he stood up and put on his coat.

"What are you doing?" I asked desperately.

"I'm going to head to the store, get you a toothbrush and something's you might need." I couldn't help smiling. "Why don't you run a hot bath, and ill be back before you know it."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_Six missed calls: Billy._

_Nine missed calls: Joe._

_Fourteen missed calls: unknown._

_Seven missed calls: Rachel_

I stared down at my phone screen before placing it back down on the coffee table and curling up on the sofa. I had been in Craig's for two days now and I still couldn't think of how to sort all of this mess out because there wasn't a way.

My phone began ringing again and I ignored, I didn't even look at it again.

It was all such a mess. I knew why they were phoning, they were phoning to find out where I was so that Billy could deal with me and I knew it wouldn't be pleasant.

The kitchen door opened and Craig strode in with a towel wrapped around his waist, water dripped from his brown hair. He was talking to someone on the phone.

"What you mean? How do they know?" That made my ears perk up. "How long do you think before they get here?" I stood up instantly aware of what was happening; they had guessed where I was, Billy was coming to get me.

I ran my hands over my hair unsure of what to until panic kicked in. I ran to all the downstairs windows and locked them securely and drew the curtains completely.

"Trish there on their way, apparently they left around forty minutes ago. Rachel has been trying to let us know since before they left."

"Do I have time to get away?" I asked my hands shaking.

Craig just shook his head.

Whilst Craig threw on some clothes I locked all the doors and upstairs windows before drawing the curtains. I would just have to hide.

We decided that I would hide in the small closet in the bathroom; the door had an extra inside lock from when the closet used to be the toilet. Craig was not going to answer the door and hope that they take off, if they were too persistent he was going to claim to of been napping and say he hadn't seen me. I just hoped we could fool them.

I snuck down onto the closet floor, my legs curled up to my chest. It was only minutes before the banging began. It was loud and heavy; there were angry voices yelling too.

My eyes stung with tears but I stopped them from falling and shoved my head between my legs. The noise continued and I hummed a familiar tune to try and block it out.

"Open the fuckin' door!" A loud booming voice yelled. I knew that voice too well.

"MMMHHH," I whined almost beginning to rock back and forth.

There was silence. Oh they were going away, I looked up eagerly. Please be going away.

There was a massive bang, and another and another, and then the voices grew louder as they echoed through the long passages of the house. They had broken the door down. They were inside.

There must have been most of the gang there because I could hear footsteps all over the house scattered loud thuds from upstairs and in the kitchen. And then the bathroom.

I couldn't hear Craig. I hoped he was okay- he must have been, I reassured myself, id hear through the thin walls if he was being hurt.

I could see feet from under the closet door; I thought that the guy began walking away before he began yanking on the closet door.

My breath caught in my throat. The lock was going to break at any second; it wasn't designed to hold anyone out. It opened with a loud wail and there I saw Joe looking down at me with a pained expression across his face.

He was hoping that they didn't find me.

He looked to his side before putting a finger to his lips to tell me to be quiet and was about to shut the door when Jay, the guy with the dreadlocks burst into the bathroom.

A large grin covered his face. "Billy I fuckin' found her," he yelled. Joe was about to go for him when Billy charged in. "And I caught Joey here about to close the door on her and leave her there."

Billy's fist slammed into Joe's face with such power Joe fell straight to the floor and cracked his head on the wall as he went down. I immediately crawled out of the closet over to Joe's side before standing up enraged.

"How could you-" I couldn't finish my sentence, Billy slapped me with the back of his hand with all of his force; I went down like a ton of bricks.

I spat blood out of my mouth.

His face was enraged, it flamed red and his steel blue eyes were glazed over with murderous intent.

As I began to scramble up Billy pulled out his gun and cracked it across my head, and I was out.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

My eyes fluttered open and I found myself staring up at very high ceiling. There were small windows at the top of the walls so bursts of light creped through but almost didn't make it down to where I lay.

My eyes averted to the floor around me, the floor was filled with rubbish and the light that shone through the windows seemed an almost red color – due to the pictured glass that I saw once I looked up.

A stone statue of an angel hung down from the ceiling.

I was in a chapel.

A desolate, unused abandoned chapel.

Slowly I sat up and looked around the room dusty house of God.

Billy sat four pews behind me, twirling a knife in his hand.

I didn't know what to do? What was there to do?

Billy stared down at the dancing knife and I wasn't even sure if he was aware that I was conscious.

There was no getting away from it- I had to speak to Billy.

"Billy," I croaked, my mouth was dry it felt like sand had been poured down my throat.

He looked up at me with steel eyes and I automatically cowered back at the anger that almost rolled off him in ripples. I could see it in his eyes he was furious, and I wasn't sure what Billy was capable of when he was that angry. "Where's Craig? Is he okay?"

His nostrils flared and he stabbed the knife into the back of the old wooden pew that was placed in front of him. "Ya fuckin' him too?" he snarled at me.

I answered without thinking. "How could you think that?" I said it slowly and quietly- I was surprised that he actually heard me.

He was in his feet within a second and he charged over to me but stopped out of touching distance. I didn't like him being this close to me when he was this angry. I didn't want him to hit me with a gun again.

"Why do ya fuckin' think? Hmm? Maybe it's because I'm crazy paranoid," his eyes were what id called crazy. "Or maybe it's because I find out that ya fucked Bones, and guess what I think you're a fuckin' whore too."

A whore, how could he say that to me? I thought he loved me.

"Escorting? Do ya really think I believe that now, after finding out about all this shit? It's just a shame that guy didn't finish you off." My breath caught in my throat, how could he say that? Did he really wish that that fuck from the cocaine fuelled party had killed me? "It would have saved me a job."

I stood up instantly; I just couldn't stand there and let him kill me. I was carrying his baby, this psychotic mans baby.

Slowly I began walking backwards, I didn't know where I was planning on heading- there was only hard solid wall behind me. As I edged backwards Billy edged forwards and tears fell from my big brown eyes.

"Billy you can't-" I didn't get to finish because he charged at me and threw me against the wall, his big hand gripping me by the neck, stopping my air supply.

His eyes were glazed over with rage and other unknown substances. "Did ya really think ya get away with it? Humiliating me like that ya fuckin' bitch? Hmm?" His grip tightened around my throat and I began to feel dizzy. "Ya belong to me, ME!" he screamed in my face, spit flying out of his mouth. "Ya not gonna get away with this!"

He threw me down to the floor and I landed in a crumpled heap, sobbing. "I didn't mean to Billy, he promised to get you out of jail if I did it. I did it for us."

His fist flew into my face.

He grabbed my hair in a fit of rage; I let out a loud wail. "Us huh? Were you thinking about us whilst you sucked his dick?" He threw me back down into one of the pews.

"Billy please stop," I yelled; I could taste blood in my mouth.

He slapped before I had time to continue and he hit me again and again until I was down on the floor curled up in a ball screaming.

"I'm pregnant," I howled as he laid a hard kick to my shoulder with his heavy boot. "I'm pregnant!" I screamed louder wanting him to hear.

The kicking and hitting stopped but I continued to curl into a ball sobbing. I could hear Billy's heavy footsteps step backwards and I could hear his angry heavy panting.

"What?" Billy spat.

"I'm pregnant," I managed to get out through broken sobs.

His panting continued heavily for a few seconds before he began storm off and a loud slam of a heavy door signaled to me he was gone.

---

I had tried to open the door with all the effort I could muster. It was locked securely from the other side. From what I could gather from looking out some of the cracked stained glass windows I was in the highest floor of the office.

My lip and eyelid were cut but had stopped bleeding and were now just sore, like every other muscle in my body. My shoulders and back throbbed the most; I could almost feel the indent of Billy's big boot on them.

I curled up on one of the pews and waited for his next move. There must be a next move.

The hours rolled on and the chapel became increasingly cold and eerie; there were no lights either which didn't help matters.

I sat there shivering for at least three hours; rubbing my arms almost continuously trying to keep my warmth.

I almost smiled when the door burst open. "Get out her," Billy ordered and I scrambled off the pew and out the door, eager for heat and light.

The smell of whiskey seeped out of his pores and his eyes were bloodshot. He had blood on his knuckles; it was horrifying to know that it was mine.

He began walking down a flight of stairs and I followed him at a pace that my aching body would allow; he stopped through the building glass and crumbled pieces of wood crunches underneath his heavy footsteps.

Billy pushed open a door that squeaked loudly as if it hadn't been used in years. I peeked in, it was a toilet. "Get in," he snarled.

I shuffled in slowly not sure why he wanted me in this dirty toilet.

He pulled out a pregnancy test from inside of his jacket and threw it at me; it bounced of my sore shoulder.

"Take it," he commanded.

It was degrading to say the least, to sit there with my trousers around my ankles peeing in front of him; my hands shook as I urinated on the pregnancy stick.

There was nowhere to wash my hands after either.

Billy puffed on a cigarette carelessly as we waited the three agonizing minutes; I knew what the test would say. No need to be nervous I told myself, but I couldn't help it. How would Billy react?

I flipped the test over- Positive.

Without looking at Billy I held the test up to show him.

There was silence, for a long time.

"Is it mine?" he asked, softer than I had heard him speak since he had charged into Craig's home. Craig? I hoped he was okay.

I looked at him then, yearning that my eyes would let him know that I would not lie about this. "Of course, -"

"You're lying," he snarled.

"I'm not lying; I went to the doctor's last week he told me I'm coming up to two months pregnant." He was glaring at me, his jaw tight. "I promise you apart from Bones, that one time, I haven't been with anyone else except you for almost two years Billy. It's our baby."

"Shut up!" He snapped at me before slamming his hand into the wall. "How could you let this happen? You fucking whore, this was not how it was meant to be." He was pointing in my face now, and I was cowering away from him.

Billy yanked the cell phone out of his pocket and began dialing.

"I want your ass down the office right now- I don't care if ya workin' ya got a fuckin' abortion to do. You got an hour to be here."

- -

I sat sobbing on the rusty old bed- the same bed that I had been held down on when Fat Phil knocked me out with chloroform and removed the bullet that was lodged in my arm. Would he used chloroform again as he killed my baby?

Screaming and kicking Billy had dragged me down to this room and locked me in there. Suddenly my throbbing shoulder didn't hurt anymore, I could feel nothing.

I had told him, screamed that wanted my baby, but he hadn't listened; he just told me to shut the fuck up and that it was his decision, not mine.

He had thrown me against the wall, slapped me again and pushed his gun into my stomach; he told me that if I wouldn't let Phil do it, he would.

My arms were gripped around my belly; I would fight until the end. I would not let them murder my baby willingly.

I could hear the locks screeching as they were undid from my door and I instinctively jumped backwards off the bed and into the corner of the room. I crouched down, almost in a ball, not willing for them to get anywhere near my stomach.

The large round doctor stepped into the room first, clutching a briefcase. He stopped momentarily only to be pushed in further by a tattooed arm.

Heco stepped in after Phil and looked down at me; I couldn't read his face.

"Heco-" he just shook his head and walked out slamming the door and then locking it behind him.

Phil took a step closer, "don't come near me." I yelled at him, curling up tighter.

"It's okay, I won't hurt you. I'm here to help you."

"No," I shook my head. "I won't let you. I won't let you hurt my baby."

He crouched down a little bit. "Billy told me you wanted to get rid of the fetus immediately." Fetus, you could tell he was some hot shot doctor.

I shook my head wildly.

Phil seemed to contemplate that for several minutes, his face grew redder too. "Well I will not force you to abort the fetus."

My eyes were wide and I burst into a fresh tears. "Thank you so much." I crawled over to him and flung myself around him, sobbing.

He tapped me patronizingly on the back.

"Of course, Billy is not going to be happy," he worried, once I'd finally let him go.

I stared the kind doctor with a bad habit in the eye. "It's okay, Billy doesn't have to know that you didn't do, ill be out of his life before he has time to realize I'm still pregnant."

- -

I woke up in my bed, my body ached but a smile stretched across my face knowing that I was still carrying a child.

Phil had explained to me that one sleeping pill would not hurt the baby, as long as they weren't used too much. So I took one after he had cut his own calf open to make some of his tools a little bloody.

He really wanted the coke Billy was going to pay him with. It had to look like a back alley abortion had actually taken place.

I had seen some of the tools Phil had with him, they were not nice. If the abortion had happened as planned, it would not have been a painless procedure.

A note had been left on the bedside cabinet and a bottle of pills Phil had told me he would give to Billy for me to take; it would make it look more real.

The note read:

Take your meds

We'll talk later.

Billy.

I didn't want to talk to him, but I knew I had too. It would take me at least a week to arrange flights and get some money together without him noticing.

**Please let me know what you think about this chapter.**


	21. Chapter 21

**Thanks to everyone who has reviewed this story of the past year or so. They mean a lot to me. I can't believe this story has finally come to an end. Please let me know what you think.**

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I lay in bed not sure what to do; Billy had dragged me home and thrown me into the bedroom before shutting the door on me. Did he still plan on killing me? Or did he think that forcing me to have an abortion was enough punishment?

He'd most definitely pop a bullet in my head if he knew I had managed to not go through with the termination.

This is why I had to leave- leave him and this life behind. If I could manage to get away without being killed.

If Billy decided to keep me a prisoner in the apartment I would be screwed. I was already two months gone- I'd be visibly showing within the next few weeks.

Since I'd found out I was pregnant I seemed to see my stomach growing by the day. It was only so long I could hide it under baggy T-shirts and heavy coats.

I had been lying in bed for over two hours and I could hear Billy tinkering around the apartment occasionally throwing glass bottles at walls. What would he do if I walked out there?

Through hours of worrying exhaustion finally took hold and I fell asleep not waking up until late the next afternoon.

- -

Slowly I crept across the bedroom floor trying to make as little noise as possible before slipping out of the bedroom door.

The apartment was empty and surprisingly I wasn't locked in.

A note on the kitchen counter read:

Take your meds.

Don't think about going anywhere.

I'll be home tonight.

The note didn't need to be signed; I could recognize that angry scrawl any day. I dithered around for awhile not sure what to do.

My first scan was meant to be that day, and before I realized Billy and Joe were out I was planning on missing it, but now knowing that they wouldn't be home until late the urge to see my baby overtook me and before I realized it I was in a cab on the way to the hospital.

I sat in the waiting room patiently, my hand unconsciously placed on my stomach like all the other mothers to be waiting in the same room. There were women who looked like they were about to pop and women with cute little bumps that they stared down at with wide grins, and then there were couples who you could hardly tell were pregnant, like me, probably waiting for their first scan too.

I reminded myself that I would need to change hospitals so that I could have future scans and appointments in a New York hospital.

The waiting room was almost exactly like the one I sat in impatiently when I brought Joe to the hospital after Billy had beat on him. I reminded myself exactly why I had to leave him.

I pondered whether or not when I left if I should write Billy a letter, letting him know that I had kept his child and that I was in New York if he ever wanted to visit. But then would he come and get me? Force me back to Boston and hurt the baby and me?

"Trish?" My head snapped to the side to see Joe standing there looking down at me with wide eyes. His eyes scanned the room looking at all the other mothers to be and then looking back down at me. "What are you doing here? I thought Fat Phil had sorted it." I loathed how he said 'it'.

My expression must have been a pained one because I didn't know whether I could trust Joe not to tell Billy that I was still carrying his child. But then he was going to leave me in that cupboard and not tell Billy I was there, and that was to prevent me from having a beating or worse being killed and I had slept with their dad. Would he really risk my life and his future niece or nephew's life just because I managed to get out of the abortion Billy was forcing upon me?

"How did you know I was her?" I questioned, panic seeping through my voice.

He looked ashamed. "Billy had me watching the apartment encase you tried to leave. Don't worry I haven't told him you took off."

"Is Craig okay?" I asked feeling relieved.

"Yeah, Billy hit him about a bit, but told him to get on the next flight to Michigan and he'd leave him alone. He's gone." I was so happy that Craig hadn't been seriously hurt. "What are you doing here? I thought Phil got rid of it?" His voice broke a little. "His tools were bloody."

"Joe sit down," I pulled him down into one of the ugly plastic brown chairs next to me and gripped his hand tightly. I knew that everyone else in the room must have assumed that Joe was the dad and I didn't care if they did. He would make a better father than Billy would. "I'm still pregnant." His eyes widened. "Phil agreed that it wasn't right to have the decision forced upon me when I wanted to keep my baby so we lied. Phil cut his own leg to put some blood on the tools and we waited the appropriate time before he left. Phil didn't touch me."

"What you going to do when Billy finds out? You can't keep it from him forever."

I shook my head gently whilst looking down at our laced hands; so much loved past between us, platonic love. I would miss him dearly.

"I'm leaving. I've got to get away from him; I have to think about the baby." He stared at me for a moment before looking at my stomach through my big baggy T-shirt.

"I'm going to be an uncle? That's insane. I'll miss you, you know that but I agree it's best if you go."

Tears streamed my face and I grabbed Joe eagerly and wrapped him in a warm hug. I prayed dearly that this sweet sincere guy would not turn into his older brother.

"Miss Wilson?" A nurse called smiling kindly.

I turned to Joe and wiped my eyes, unaware that the whole room was watching me hugging this young man; they were probably also judging- I had done a terrible job at covering the bruises on my neck and face.

"You wanna' come in?" he nodded eagerly and together, hand in hand we walked into the nurses room.

Joe had gasped dramatically when I lifted my T-shirt up so that my stomach could have the ultra sound on it. He wondered loudly how Billy hadn't noticed my growing tummy. I knew why, he had been pretty much constantly off it for the last month that's why. I didn't realize my stomach was that big?

The nurse eyed me with worried eyes. I mean I was black and blue. Billy had beaten me badly. Though worry erased from her eyes and wide smile replaced it as she heard the heartbeat.

"Congratulations," the nurse said whilst listening intently to the sound of the heartbeat. "You're expecting twins."

"What?" I gasped mildly horrified. Two babies, two! How was I going to cope? Twins didn't run in my family, or Billy's.

Joe's eyes were wide but a huge grin spread across his face.

I stared at the nurse begging her to continue speaking.

"Yes, I would bet my life on it. And their both two very healthy strong heart beats!" The nurse announced excitedly.

Joe let out a small laugh. "If I remember my mom's sister had twins." He shook his head like it was the biggest coincidence ever.

I was so shocked I couldn't speak. Twins, two little lives dependent on me.

That only made me more determined to be out of Chicago by the end of the week.

- -

"I've sorted your flight. You need to be at the airport by four AM for your flight on Sunday okay? That's all I can fuckin' do, you're on your own now." Joe said calmly before settling down into the couch. "Billy called when you were in the shower- he said he would be home soon." I knew he would have also told Joe to keep me in his sight.

"Don't you want to know why?" He looked at me mildly confused. "About me sleeping with Bones."

He raised his brown eyebrows. "Oh, that."

Joe began tugging at his ear, a nervous habit as I sat down next to him and pulled my knees up to my chin.

"I thought that by doing it Bones would get Billy out of jail. He told me he would. I don't think he even tried though," I said slowly brushing a strand of hair out of my face.

God I needed a ciggie; I sucked in a deep breath and tried to think of other things instead.

Joe watched me subtly from the corner of his eye. "I believe you." He then smirked a little. "I mean you wouldn't screw me before Billy so why the fuck would you screw Bones?" he added on a lighter note.

I tried to smile; it most definitely did not reach my eyes.

At that moment the front door swung open and Billy strode through the door and stood there glaring at me and Joe.

"Get out Joe," Billy snarled. Joe didn't move he just looked at me. "Now," I nodded at Joe not wanting him to get hurt over this. Joe stood up and made his way over to Billy. "Go take the money from the office to Bones and don't come back tonight," he commanded in a quieter voice, almost a threatening whisper.

Joe nodded and his big brown eyes found mine once again. "Look man, Trish she's not in a good way-"

Billy pushed him out the front door roughly; Joe had been trying to make sure that Billy didn't hurt me.

As Joe fell through the door his eyes looked at someone who I couldn't see standing outside; Billy nodded at someone and to my utmost surprise Becky who used to work in the Four Roses walked in. Billy slammed the door in Joe's face before locking it.

I stood up immediately looking at Becky with wide eyes. Her hair was still cut short and black, and she wore a pink boob tube with the smallest black skirt ever. Her nose was red and sore and she had dirt on her knees.

"Becky I haven't seen you in so long. Are you okay?" I didn't understand why Billy had brought her here; we needed to talk. I hadn't spoken to him since he'd beat on me. I needed him to leave me alone so I could take off on Sunday.

Billy stood next to Becky pouring two glasses of whiskey and lighting himself a cigarette. He handed one glass to Becky who smiled up at him and batted her long fake lashes.

She turned back to me and smiled a cruel smile. "Yeah, you don't look so good Trish- the battered and bruised look really doesn't suit you." Billy swigged his drink carelessly whilst eyeing me with glazed over icy eyes. "Oh, and you've gained weight around your stomach," Billy flinched for the tiniest of seconds. "I thought that usually happens when you're like forty."

Was Billy and I the only people that hadn't noticed my weight gain? I had been wearing big coats and baggy shirts to help cover my stomach but still.

My mouth was opened wide, is this why Billy had brought her here? To insult me?

"Billy-" I began to plead.

"I thought you said she wouldn't be here?" Becky asked looking up into Billy's cold hard eyes he didn't look at her. She twirled her hair around her finger thinking it was cute.

Billy stared deep into my eyes, "she can wait in the bedroom." I stared at him blankly; what was he playing at. "Go. Now!" he ordered me; Becky giggled.

I went to go and walk past Billy and out the front door but he put his arm out in my way to stop me. "I said in the bedroom." I also realized he had locked the door with his keys and I didn't have a clue where mine were. Probably still at Craig's.

I turned around and began walking into the bedroom, resisting the urge to slap Billy hard across the face. As I walked I heard a slapping sound and then a high pitched giggle; Billy had spanked Becky.

There was no noise coming from the living room, well none that I could hear so I tip toed across the room and peeked out of the five inch gap that between the door and the wall.

Tears stung my eyes and fell instantly. Becky had her arms wrapped around Billy and he nuzzled on her neck lustfully; his eyes were intent on the door and they caught mine for the briefest of seconds. He quit nuzzling and smirked at me. I closed the door tight.

He was going to fuck her and let me hear it and there was nothing I could do about it except sit and listen.

An hour dragged on and I was beginning to feel dizzy and nauseous. Becky was loud, and I mean very loud. Her screams of pleasure seemed to bounce off the walls and never end; the way she moaned Billy's name rattled around in my head.

My hands shook as I sat there crying; Billy grunted loudly – the first noise id heard him make since he and Becky had began fucking – the vomit was rising in my throat.

I had to get out of those four walls. Without thinking I dashed out of the bedroom with my hand over my mouth; what I saw shattered my heart.

Billy sat upright on the couch naked leaning back into the leather; Becky was straddling him whilst she bounced up and down, her large rounds breasts bouncing with her whilst Billy's hands gripped her waist. Her hair was a mass of tangles and her clothes lay in a crumpled heap next to the coffee table. Billy's tattooed arms were tensed as he clutched Becky's badly tanned skin. Becky's fingers clawed at Billy's shoulders, marking his tattooed flesh.

Their heads snapped towards me as I ran out of the bedroom; Becky smirked at me before continuing to grind Billy; he just looked at me with slanted eyes.

I ran past them, vomit trickling into my hand before falling by the toilet and emptying my stomach into it. I heaved over the toilet, my vomit and stomach drowning out the noise of them too more than likely continuing whilst I puked my guts up.

My head rested on the cold toilet seat, it helped the room stop spinning.

"Get up!" Billy's voice commanded from behind me.

I sucked in a sharp breath. "I can't," I exclaimed, not removing my head from the toilet seat.

I could feel his presence standing behind me, fuming more than likely that I had interrupted his fun.

"Billy come back over here and fuck me," Becky whined from the couch- her voice made me vomit again.

He walked out of the bathroom. "Grab your shit and go," he told her. I could hear her disbelief and her questioning him before he threw her out of the apartment; she yelled that she was still in her underwear.

I could hear him in the kitchen turning the tap on and off; I didn't care what he was doing as long as he didn't come in again. He did.

A glass of water was placed down beside the toilet by his burly hand, and I almost turned around to look up at him. I didn't have a chance though.

Billy gripped my hair and pulled my head back roughly, exactly the same way he had done it to Jay the other day in the bar- the day I wished I had never left the apartment. "Are ya still fuckin' pregnant?"

I sobbed, "No, why would you think that?"

His grip loosened on my hair and he angrily pushed my head back down towards the toilet, I almost hit my head on the seat. "Why the fuck are ya still puking?"

I snapped my head towards him, anger flaring throughout my entire body. He stood up against the bathroom wall, his demeanor radiating fury. "I am sick because the sound of you and _her," _I spat the words out of my mouth like they were poison, "made me sick to my stomach! I am sick because you killed our baby!" I screamed at him, tears streaming my face. So I was lying, but I would do whatever to cover up this pregnancy sickness and the look on his face as I said it was worth it.

Billy's lip curled almost in disgust before he slammed his hand repeatedly at the wall. His fist went through the plaster board. His neck and face was red and a vein popped out of his neck furiously.

"How was I supposed to know that it was _mine?"_ He screamed back at me before throwing his fist at the wall again.

My anger was flowing out of me like a river. "Because I love you God damn it! Do you think that I enjoyed it?" I was sneering at him, my lip curled over in disgust just as Billy's had earlier. "Having his greasy hands on my body, having him whisper obscene things in my ear, having him pull at my hair like I enjoyed it."

"Stop," Billy murmured.

"How he crushed his fat body against mine, his disgusting smell all over me and how he asked me what it was like to be with a real man after being with you for so long." Billy's eyes were wide like a crazed mad man; he looked psychotic. I was glad he didn't have his gun tucked into his boxers.

"Stop now," he warned his fists balling up.

"And how I had to agree because I wanted you, no I needed you out of prison because I couldn't bear living without you. It was one time, it was a mistake and I did it for you," I snarled at him, still sitting on the floor leaning against the toilet seat. "It was that night that I started taking your coke because I couldn't bear to think about what I had done."

"Shut the fuck up before I fuckin' kill ya," he bellowed grabbing a mirror off the wall and throwing it recklessly at the shower. The mirror smashed into a thousand pieces, shattering all over the floor and onto my covered legs. I cowered away from the glass before getting up unsteadily and heading back into the bedroom.

I sat on the bed, my head in my hands. How was I going to get out of this? I needed closure with Billy too; I'd hate to just leave with things still up in the air.

Time passed I'm not sure how much but Billy soon came into the bedroom wrapped in a white towel water dripping down his broad chest. He must have cleaned the glass up then.

He stood there watching me; I got up quickly and headed to the bathroom for a shower too. The warm water soothed my aching bruised body, looking down at my stomach as the water slipped down I noticed the small bump and I couldn't stop smiling.

Billy had cleaned up the glass, I noted; the empty mirror frame rested uselessly against a wall in the living room and I tried not to look at it as I lay down in the couch, my eyes scaling the room.

"Come to bed," Billy's gruff voice came from behind me. I didn't move, "now."

I reluctantly got up and sauntered into the dark room and over to bed, not looking at him, and curled up facing the wall before he had even re entered the room.

The bed dipped as Billy climbed inside; he lay still for awhile before rolling over so that his head was by my ear. "Don't fuckin' think you've got away with this." He whispered threateningly into my ear before rolling over leaving me lay there stunned tears streaming down my face.

…..

The taxi ride was a killer. All I wanted to do was get back into bed with him and make him realize that the baby's and I were what were important. Not his revenge.

But he didn't even know about the babies, and he never would.

The taxi sped towards the airport, but I couldn't relax, I knew he could be coming after me right then.

I felt bad about not being able to say goodbye to Joe; he was like a little brother to me, and I would miss him dearly, but I had to go now and get on the next flight available; screw my ticket for Sunday, I needed to be in New York immediately.

If I stayed any longer Billy would figure out how to punish me and maybe he would decide to kill me, or he might find out I was still pregnant, which would lead to the same thing. I could not take a chance like that, even if my body ached to be with him, I knew I never could be.

….

My breathing was quickening and my hands were shaking, well one of them was, Michelle held the other one tightly; her eyes were bright with excitement – I didn't need to see her face to know that she was smiling insanely.

A drop of sweat rolled down my neck, I let it roll though I didn't know why I was sweating, it's not like I was doing anything- nerves maybe?

I was in labor; well I was in labor before my baby's decided that they didn't want to come anymore so I was rushed in for a C-section. This was not how I envisioned meeting my children for the first time.

The doctor continued doing what he was doing to my uterus; I couldn't feel anything from the waist down and I couldn't see anything either, thanks to the screen the doctor had placed across my stomach.

My thoughts danced back to Billy for the slightest of moments; he should have been there holding my hand telling me it was going to be okay.

I hadn't seen or heard from Billy or anyone in Chicago since I left; something I was immensely grateful for. It would be harder to stay away if I was in contact.

Michelle's eyes lit up with excitement and I craned my neck to see what she was looking at; the doctor held a small baby in his rubber gloved hands; I sucked in a sharp breath as I saw the back of a small head covered in thick brown hair.

The baby didn't make a sound, I almost screamed at the doctor to do something before he cleared the baby and a loud wail erupted from its lungs.

I reached out for the baby but a nurse took it away. I didn't even know if it was a boy or girl.

Before I knew it the doctor was holding the second baby and before I had time to panic a loud wail entered the room; tears streaked my face.

Once I was all stitched up and the babies were cleaned a nurse brought the first baby over to me. "This little one here is your new baby girl," she said before another nurse helped me turn onto my side so that I could hold her.

She was beautiful; her thick brown hair was so soft and she smelt gorgeous. I could have stayed like that forever, but the nurse came back over minutes later to introduce me to the second baby so reluctantly I let Michelle hold my little girl whilst I handed my arms out for baby number two.

"Here's your little boy," the kind nurse said, smiling at me as I held him.

His hair was not as thick as my girls but a layer covered his soft head. His cheeks were chubbier and I later found out that he was the heaviest weighing at six and a half pounds where as my little prices was only just over five.

His nose was so little and I could immediately see his father in him, the thicker lower lip, the shape of his eye; I knew he would look more like his father everyday.

I glanced up at Michelle who stared down at my small little girl with a smile before she placed my little girl on the bed with me and her brother. My heart swelled with happiness as I looked down at them, and fresh tears ran down my face.

- -

It was a quiet night; I wished it would be busier. I leaned on the dark wooden bar and began counting my money for the month in my head. It was going to be tight, it was always tight.

Maybe Wayne would let me go early- I hated leaving the kids with old Mrs. Stanley even if they were in bed, it felt like I was taking advantage.

I looked at my reflection in one of the mirrors that was placed over the liquor bottles. My newly cut bob was sharp around my jaw, and the dyed brown dulled down my chocolate brown eyes. I didn't care though there was only one reason why I had cut my hair off and dyed it a color I never thought I would. Paranoia.

Since I'd moved back into Chicago six months ago I had been crazy worried with paranoia. What if I saw someone I knew? But over time it had dyed out. I lived on completely different side of town; I worked in a fancy wine bar (not exactly Billy's type of bar) and I hadn't even be near the rough side of town since I'd got back.

Chicago was a big city, nobody would find me.

And if they did, I hoped this stupid disguise would work.

I hadn't wanted to move back, no way. But I was struggling financially and my mom's friend had just bought an apartment building in a pretty good side of town, he was willing to cut me a good deal. So I moved back for that; though I still felt like I was paying more than I could afford.

Plus, Chelle and Alex had moved back to Chicago the year before, and it was hard for me to say that I didn't miss them. Alex had always said he would never live in Chicago again, but Michelle wanted to go home, and of course he followed her. Sweet, I know.

Also my mom was in Chicago, and she could help me a lot. I'd made up with her for the sake of the kids, but that didn't mean that she didn't tick me off more than she made me smile, the kids loved their granny though.

I walked across the empty bar, my heels clipping on the modern shiny wooden floor; my black trousers and white blouse uniform was a big change to the one I had had to wear in the Four Roses.

The lights were dimmed in the bar and even more so near the long thick black door that was my boss' is office. I knew if my boss was in he'd want me to stay on, but my supervisor was a wild child who only worked for his father so he could get him off his back; I knew he'd want to take off as much as I would.

I knocked the door before entering.

Wayne sat lounged behind his fathers desk, his feet up on a stack of important papers smoking a cigarette. His black hair was style to look like casual disarray and his hazel eyes twinkled as he looked up at me whilst I entered.

"Hey," I said smiling at him lightly. "Nobody's here, mind if I take off?"

He tossed the playboy magazine he was looking at onto the table carelessly before standing up and throwing his stylish grey blazer over his shoulders. "I thought you'd never ask." He stubbed out his cigarette in the marble ashtray. "We don't need to tell my dad about this, that way you can still get paid for the next hour." I liked how he made it sound like he was doing me a favor.

I walked into the staff room upstairs to gather my coat and bag, knowing that Wayne was probably dumping the till in the safe not even counting it. I threw my scarf around my neck re-arranging it as I walked downstairs knowing that Wayne would be impatiently waiting by the door for me.

I was right.

The lights were out, only the security lights were on. I could barely see my feet let alone who Wayne was talking too.

As I got closer my eyes were squinting towards the bright lights of outside. Wayne was negotiating a deal or something, I didn't know, I didn't care I just wanted to get home.

That was until I got close to the door to see who was standing outside blanking Wayne now, and staring in with wide shocked eyes, his mouth slightly ajar.

Joe Darley was the one to finally find me. Fuck!

**Sequel? Yes, maybe? Please review.**


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